Ain’t no nigga like Jay-Z

Just my thoughts on this new song by Foxy Brown in which she reveals that she and Jay-Z were once lovers.

Here comes the pain:

1) I’ll admit, I’m a little bit jealous of Jay-Z.

Foxy Brown might be my favorite black chick evar, if only because I don’t keep a list of black chicks I like. Foxy Brown’s prime just so happened to coincide with my formative years, in the late ’90s. I knew a few black chicks back then, but not very many of them, and so the law of averages didn’t really work out in their favor. One of the reasons black women stay losing in this country comes down to a simple matter of demographics. If you grow up around nothing but black women, the most attractive woman you know will be a black woman, and so that will be your idea of a beautiful woman. As an adult, you’ll be that guy who goes on the comments sections of blogs talking about how white women’s asses aren’t big enough, if you have the Internets at all. But if you know, say, 10 black women and 100 white women, chances are you’re gonna know way more attractive white women than black women, and you’re that much more likely to meet an especially attractive white women, whom you’ll be in love with the rest of your life, because that’s how things tend to work. Foxy Brown might have been the most attractive black woman I “knew” in my formative years, and I’m not gonna lie – I spent some quality time with the cover to Ill Na Na, which I’ll admit I copped on CD. I’m even kinda tempted to dig it up, for old time’s sake.

2) So, “Ain’t No Nigga” was a true story.

Now it all makes sense: Jay-Z was the hip-hop version of Wooderson from Dazed and Confused. You know, that guy who’s like 26, who shows up to the high school right when school gets out, in a nice car, in an effort to have sex with the kind of girl who will have sex with a guy who’s 26 and still preys on high school girls, because he has a nice car. Not to knock a fellow player for getting in where he fits in. I’ll admit, I’d probably do some shit like that, too, if I could block out the part of my brain that knows how sad it is for a man to resort to some shit like that to get some stank on his hanglow, and that I could possibly go to jail for it. And if I had a nice car. Like Jay-Z. The reason we now know that “Ain’t No Nigga” was a true story about how the 26 year-old Jay-Z came to have sex with the 17 year-old Foxy Brown – the smoking gun, if you will – is because, in the very first verse, he talks about how he’d let Foxy Brown drive his Lexus, if she let him drop a load (arggh!) on her belly. We know Jay-Z used to drive a Lexus, because someone once mentioned it in one of those making of the album features in XXL.

3) The little homey couldn’t get a piece?

Notice how Fox makes it a point to note that she didn’t have sex Nas, AZ, or Rick Ross. That must be especially disheartening for Nas. AZ isn’t important enough for it to matter that a woman didn’t have sex. The closest thing he had to a hit wasn’t a hit perse, and it came out like 15 years. And I can’t tell his last five or six Koch Graveyard releases apart from one another. For Foxy Brown to mention in a song how she never had sex with him is almost like her mentioning how she’s never had sex with me. We’ve probably been in XXL the same amount of times. If anything, AZ should be flattered to be included in such company. Then there’s Rick Ross. His career right now is doing better than Nas, AZ and Foxy Brown’s careers put together, but he’s always gonna be a disgusting fat guy. Even if he does get a shedload of stank, there’s always gonna be the thought in the back of his mind that none of them enjoyed. It’s like that Ron Jeremy documentary in which numerous women he’s had his way with talk about how awful an experience. You can tell that kinda hurt his feelings. But not enough to make him hit a treadmill. Could Nas have banged Foxy Brown, back in the Firm days? He may not have wanted to, but I bet now he kinda wishes he did, just so he could say he did it. It’s bad enough Jay-Z banged his baby’s mother, now he’s got something else to hold over his head.

4) The two of them should just fuck and get it over with.

Jay-Z and Foxy Brown, I mean. Not Jay-Z and Nas. I’m not against two guys being allowed to fuck each other in the ass (make each other humble), if that’s what they want to do, but I’d have to draw the line at Nas and Jay-Z. That would almost be worse than what happened to Biggie and 2Pac. If that makes me a homophobe than so be it. But as far as Jay-Z and Foxy Brown… Clearly, she still has a thing for him. You can tell, because she didn’t really dis him, other than the fact that putting all of his business out in the street might be throwing him under the bus. Beyonce might be a little bit upset, especially if this seems to fall into any pattern she’s noticed. But I wouldn’t worry, if I were Jay-Z. She’s not that smart. Lil Kim, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as fortunate. The shit Fox said about her face seems especially harsh, given how fucked the fuck up it looks. That’s almost like making fun of someone with a hair lip and a cleft palate. Except, I guess Lil Kim brought her deformity on herself. If she had cans like Foxy Brown’s, would she have done that to her face? Nah, right? Damn. Which leads me to believe that Foxy Brown could have come up with something worse to say about Jay-Z other than that they used to be lovers. She must be holding out hope that one day the two of them could get together and rekindle their flame. You know how women get around Valentines Day. Maybe Jay should send her a card.

  • bxrich3

    It’s like that Ron Jeremy documentary in which numerous women he’s had his way with talk about how awful an experience. You can tell that kinda hurt his feelings. But not enough to make him hit a treadmill.

    i spit out my damn water.. you a fool

  • Aldeezy

    “If she had cans like Foxy Brown’s, would she have done that to her face? Nah, right? Damn.”

    Gully.

  • Phillmatic

    Bol is keeping XXL afloat single-handed.

    • BIGNAT

      i agree give bol a 50 cent raise hahahhahaah

      • Rocco907

        agreed, its the only reason to visit this site.

  • ladidadida

    AZ is probably reelin’ over that you put him in your blog on xxl today.

  • Curtis75Black

    On Point Bol !!

  • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

    “Bol is keeping XXL afloat single-handed.”

    ^^^ THIS

    “single-handed”

    ^ no shots (II)

    • Phillmatic

      Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!

  • Tiiz

    Bol you have got to find somebody to proofread these blogs!

  • latino heat

    i actually knew a guy that used to hang around our high school after he graduated. he used to park his car right across the street from the school everyday at 3:00 P.M. and wait for everybody to get out of school, then he would tell everyone that would listen that “i’m so glad to be out of this mu’fucka!” yet he was there EVERY fuckin day. after doing this for 2 years after he graduated he finally got caught and did 2 or 3 years for statutory rape. they raided his house and the fool was putting these young ass broads on video tape! dumbass!

    as far as Jay and Fox, i’m not surprised at all. i assumed they were fuckin way back then. Fox just confirmed what we all already knew.

    and yes, Bol is the only thing worth checkin on this site right now. come on XXL step your game up!

    • geico lizard

      Jay-z boned Foxy,Tearra Mari,Rihanna,Memphis Bleek and Beyonce when they were all young as hell. Jay-z will have Chris Hansen from Dateline to Catch a Predator on his next album.

  • George Clooney

    I think that even AZ can admit to himself that he really only got mentioned because his name happens to rhyme with Jay-Z. Kurupt and DMX on the other hand? Not so much.

  • George Clooney

    Also, I thin Nas already let this cat out of the bag a long time ago on Ether with that “Foxy got you hot cos you kept your face in her puss” line.

    • betrott

      underrated reply

    • http://www.bboycult.com The $ykotic Don Mac

      Totally forgot that line…maybe that’s why Jay threw out the Carmen dirt?

      But like latino said we kinda already knew, now I’m wondering about AMIL…

      • avenger xl

        Amil had to get hit their is no excuse for keeping her around besides her breathy voice on hooks among other things. lyrically she was a dollar store knock off of kim and foxy. The Archetype of 9 out of 10 female rappers today.

  • geico lizard

    “Then there’s Rick Ross. His career right now is doing better than Nas, AZ and Foxy Brown’s careers put together, but he’s always gonna be a disgusting fat guy. Even if he does get a shedload of stank, there’s always gonna be the thought in the back of his mind that none of them enjoyed.”

    ^
    Thats ether for all fat men right there Bol. Women will say its all about personality but thats bullshit because women can lust after mens bodies and money. Fat guys just need to block out the part that gives a fuck if she is enjoying it or not because 99% of the time she is thinking about a much skinnier guy anyway.

  • sealsaa

    “3) The little homey couldn’t get a piece?”

    The title itself had me dying. Then the paragraph, too much.

    I’d have to disagree though. Nas won, in the long run. Fox had her run, but these days, the only thing she’s known for (in addition to being bat-shit) is her stanky puss. Nas used to bang Mary J. Blige who, despite being a hood-rat at heart, is considered in many circles to be a living legend. Kiss the muhfucking ring.

  • avenger xl

    1. Bol you are taken to another level this year way to save the team.

    2. You just have a white girl fetish Bol while I just have a fine woman fetish. tried 12 steps to kick and it didn’t work (not really if theirs a cure for this I don’t want it)

    3. Jay-z porked every money grubbing chick that worked closely with him at rocafella. Foxy and Amil(ewww but I mean why else give her a deal)were both taken down. But this whole thing about talking in public about it later is too TMZ. I hate tabliod/bossip type ish so you guys were getting it own for whatever reason. BIG DEAL! That is the past leave it there who cares, her doing songs and shit is just desparate when she has enogh talent to pull herself up(as far as female rappers can go r.i.p jean graes career).

  • NotoriousAGC

    amil was ugly as hell, the only fine women jay’z has touched was beyonce,rihanna,and foxy is ehhhh. Wasn´t jay-z having sex with a football player?¿..

  • hate

    co-sign tiiz
    you definitely need someone to proof read

    still a pretty good post

    you really have to go at the god AZ like that though?

    he get a lot of respect still.

    especially by the commission an shit…

    bein that you tryna get a rise out these cats, i guess it kinda makes sense to go at him then.

  • caino

    ‘AZ isn’t important enough for it to matter that a woman didn’t have sex. The closest thing he had to a hit wasn’t a hit perse, and it came out like 15 years. And I can’t tell his last five or six Koch Graveyard releases apart from one another. For Foxy Brown to mention in a song how she never had sex with him is almost like her mentioning how she’s never had sex with me. We’ve probably been in XXL the same amount of times. If anything, AZ should be flattered to be included in such company.’

    Too funny!! but seriously didnt we all guess that they had relations??

  • Kermitt387

    Went IN on Nasir….but he already went there with Jigga “Ether” AZ in the Koch Graveyard funny shyt

  • AD

    This piece had me cracking up….at work no less, when I’m not supposed to be on the net! I’m suprised it didn’t get taken down. Hmmmm….

  • mav

    this post was pretty funny but y he have to clown my nigga az like that he still spittin fire who r this clowns favorite rappers? and the lil homie nas coulda hit that if he wanted i bet…
    jigga man like dat teenage ass that why hes forever young….lmfao! i could totally see dat nigga waitn on hoes afterschool…

  • Smell Deez…

    She had several cars, she had credit cards, a castle
    Large master bathroom, gettin’ a pedicure
    Belaney by the glassful, said she been meanin’ to ask who
    Would need a cash rule, who could blast tools
    And I’m eatin’ cashews, knew she was bad news
    But we mad cool, nothin’ sexual ’cause I knew her since high school
    Grew up wit’ my dudes, like one of my crews
    She worked for Fox(Y) News

    Nas- Still Dreaming Hip Hop is dead 2006 FUNNY CUZ HE ADRESSED IT LIKE 4 YEARS AGO… BUT THAT SLICK NY TALK GOES OVER 2 MANY PPLS HEADS

  • balaramesh

    @bol,

    az can get ANYONE line for line though.

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