Tour Stories: We’re Looking for Tony Montana, Not Cheech and Chong
My cousin starts to go into tears, looks up at the agent, and then says, “It’s in the shoebox in my bunk.”
The agent looks and then asks, “Is that it?” I’m thinking to myself, “Oh, shit, now we’re into some deep shit!” There was maybe a quarter ounce of marijuana in the shoebox, and my cousin is upset and I’m so pissed off. The agent looks at me and pulls me aside and says, “Hey man, relax, don’t kill him. We’re looking for Tony Montana, not Cheech and Chong.” Those were his exact words.
“I realize that you didn’t know and he’s just a kid,” the agent continued. We walked back over to my cousin and the customs agent says, firmly, “So, tell me one reason why we shouldn’t seize this bus and put you all in jail?!” He’s winking at me while he’s doing this, though.
My cousin goes teary-eyed and starts to explain himself, but the agent cuts him off and says, “Be quiet, I want you to write it down.” It’s at this point I realize they’re not going to do anything to us, but my cousin doesn’t know. This is his scared straight moment.
While he’s writing this letter about why they shouldn’t seize our bus and put us all in jail, I tell him to stop crying. In the end, he writes this heartfelt letter explaining how Hieroglyphics and the artists on tour are family to him, and they didn’t know about his stash, and that they’re really good people.
I remember he wrote, “It would break my heart if you took the bus and arrested them, because they are like brothers to me.” After the letter was written, the agent finally says, “We’re going to let everyone go this time, but next time you better not let this happen!”
They made us pay a small fine after they confiscated his stuff, and then we were all free to go. The interesting thing was because my cousin was sneaking to do it, no one knew that he was smoking, so no one had the chance to school him about getting rid of it prior to trying to cross the border like, “Hey, young blood, get rid of it.” That was the irony, it would have been better for all concerned if we had known, but this tour story ended up all good—we paid the fine, left on our way, and he learned his lesson. —Domino