Tour Stories: We’re Looking for Tony Montana, Not Cheech and Chong

On the last tour prior to Live & Direct, the Full Circle tour in 2003, the custom agents came aboard our vehicle and said, “Who has it? Who’s got the dope?” Those were their exact words. We were like, “None of us do.” They went through all our stuff and didn’t find anything—there was nothing for them to find, but they always try to make you think they’ve found something to get you to admit to something.

So this time, on the Live and Direct tour, we go across the border, get off the bus and we’re all kicking back, sitting and waiting as they go through our stuff, which is normal, then the custom agents say, “Who has the dope?”

I’m thinking, “Yeah, yeah, whatever, here we go again.” Everyone again says nobody has anything. They ask, “Who’s the manager?!” I raise my hand and they call me over saying how they found some dope.

I said to them, “Look, some of the guys smoke but we’ve been across the border many times and we know better than to bring anything across the border, so there shouldn’t be anything.”

They say, “Whose bunk is the bottom bunk on the right side, in the front of the bus?”

I think to myself: That’s my cousin Juliano’s and he doesn’t smoke, so they’re really bluffing and trying to pull a fast one. I say to the agent, “Oh, that’s my little cousin’s bunk; he doesn’t even smoke,” and I said it kinda proud. The agent says, “Where is he? Bring him here!”

They pull him and I to the back room, which is just a room with a table and chairs, and ask him if he has any marijuana. Juliano said “No, I don’t smoke.” The agents just looked at us and said, “We’ve seen this before, you’re his older cousin and you just don’t know that he does smoke.”

The agent tells my cousin to empty his pockets, and he puts all the contents on the table…

“What’s that right there?!” Low and behold, there’s a bud of weed on the table!

I looked at my cousin dumbfounded and I said “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

  • http://www.justice.gov.za Chiliz

    The above pic captures my fav scene in the movie.

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77/ian

    coulda been so much worse…

    just a heads-up domino, when the guest bloggers comment in the threads, it makes a world of difference.

    hiero all day.

  • Enlightened

    Good story.

  • http://myspace.com/jesuschristogod CLP

    Good Story. Need more on here like this

  • Worley

    Good story. I went through the same thing from Canada to the US. The agent asked me if I’m bringing anything in and I thought “I would never tell you that” but instead responded “do I look crazy?” Dude said that was “suspicious” and pulled me to the side. They had the dog go through the whip and sniff my gas tank. They even pulled out the mirror to look under the car. The whole time I’m trying hard not to laugh because I was high as hell and rejoicing that I dumped the last crumbs of sticky at McDonald’s BEFORE I crossed the border. 20 mins earlier they would have had me but thank God a n*gga knows better.

  • beaver

    hahaha great story..
    kidd was shittin bricks..
    i was laughin so much ha..

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    I’ve been in situations like that. Those cats have a job to do, just like the rest of us, & unless you give them extra incentives, they usually don’t want a hassle anymore more than we do.

    I also have bad ass, younger cousins, so I totally understand. Good thing that didn’t happen in Texas…

  • Domino

    I’m glad ya’ll r feelin’ the story..it gave us all quite the laugh when we continued on with the tour…great memories.

    Domino

  • ladykilla

    thas that shite yo ..made my day, gudd story!