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Tour Stories: We’re Looking for Tony Montana, Not Cheech and Chong

On the last tour prior to Live & Direct, the Full Circle tour in 2003, the custom agents came aboard our vehicle and said, “Who has it? Who’s got the dope?” Those were their exact words. We were like, “None of us do.” They went through all our stuff and didn’t find anything—there was nothing for them to find, but they always try to make you think they’ve found something to get you to admit to something.

So this time, on the Live and Direct tour, we go across the border, get off the bus and we’re all kicking back, sitting and waiting as they go through our stuff, which is normal, then the custom agents say, “Who has the dope?”

I’m thinking, “Yeah, yeah, whatever, here we go again.” Everyone again says nobody has anything. They ask, “Who’s the manager?!” I raise my hand and they call me over saying how they found some dope.

I said to them, “Look, some of the guys smoke but we’ve been across the border many times and we know better than to bring anything across the border, so there shouldn’t be anything.”

They say, “Whose bunk is the bottom bunk on the right side, in the front of the bus?”

I think to myself: That’s my cousin Juliano’s and he doesn’t smoke, so they’re really bluffing and trying to pull a fast one. I say to the agent, “Oh, that’s my little cousin’s bunk; he doesn’t even smoke,” and I said it kinda proud. The agent says, “Where is he? Bring him here!”

They pull him and I to the back room, which is just a room with a table and chairs, and ask him if he has any marijuana. Juliano said “No, I don’t smoke.” The agents just looked at us and said, “We’ve seen this before, you’re his older cousin and you just don’t know that he does smoke.”

The agent tells my cousin to empty his pockets, and he puts all the contents on the table…

“What’s that right there?!” Low and behold, there’s a bud of weed on the table!

I looked at my cousin dumbfounded and I said “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

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