Tour Stories: Brazil is the Shit, Literally

Brazil has a lot of poverty, and although the favelas are a good distance from the tourist-laden beach sides, the kids and young adults know that where there are tourists there is the almighty dollar. So we were walking along enjoying the beautiful view and one of the kids walks up to me and while pointing down at my shoe says, “Sheet, sheet, sheet.”

I look down at my shoe and there was bird crap on my brand new kicks. I’m thinking, just my luck, but I’m also relieved I didn’t get it in the face or something. So a few minutes later another guy with a makeshift shoe-cleaning thingamajig comes up and asks to clean my shoe. I ask how much because I figured he was destitute and made a living anyway he could. I think he said four reals, which is pronounced, “hay-ice.” I’m not sure if he said four, I just remember it was really expensive for a shoe clean, but I paid him anyway and kept it moving with a clean shoe looking up at the sky for more seagulls and where there next points of attack might be.

Souls of Mischief “Medication”

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  • TruthTeller

    Brazil is all hype..its nothing like miggaz think it is..bottom line is..its a poor in development country with people with little to no morals..

    certainly there is loads of beatiful any other country in the worls really..but there’s loads of trannys aswell..the gay community is one of the biggest in the world..also the beautiful women won’t do you unless you’re a rich foreigner..biggest goldiggers in the world = brazil..

    my grandparents are brazillian..i went there plenty of times and that shithole only gets worse..people rob, kids kill for as little as 50 $ and married women will suck dick for less than 20$ and go home as if they did nothing..they even get married to people they despise just to get a visa..its sad..but that is the reality Brazil is..its not that shit you see in vids/magazines/films

    • latino heat

      @ Truth Teller

      every poor country has women that will marry men that they don’t know or can’t stand just for a U.S. Visa. some country’s will even pay an american born male thousand’s of dollars to marry their daughter’s just to get them to the U.S. then as soon as they get here, marriage over.

      also women doing something strange for some change isn’t only in Brazil. i got a homie that went to Mexico and some girl he didn’t even know started giving him head on the dance floor in some club. he didn’t have to pay her a dime. so don’t generalize all the negative shit just to Brazil cause it happens in most poor countries from what i’ve heard.

    • fred

      truthteller, you’re completely right! I am brazilian, but I have to admit; here just goes bad. People are lazy, corrupt, very corrupt and immoral. Not to blame the poverty, because who is not poverty is also corrupt and immoral. You’re a little wrong, not all girls demand 20 bucks for a “service”. I use to have sleep with girls for 1 nightstand, after parties, disco… and about 80% of them are married or have boyfriends. Here to cheat is not considered a real problem, women like to discuss openly among them as anything else. And men don’t do better… Here is a shame.

  • Kai

    TruthTelelr, where the hell in brazil where u lets go by parts, loads of beatuiful women is an understatement, and they wont just do u if ur rich, if u cant get them, dont blame it on the money. There are many gays, some are good friends of mine, what the hell at least there are more women left for the straight. u will get robbed if u have no notion, but nothing that wouldn`t happen anywhere else, no one iknow or knew ever got killed(what by ur post seems pretty common) and ur generalizing while every part of brazil is practically an entirely new country

    Bahia- Beatiful bahia,there may be lots of violence, but u`ll never meet nice, festive people like baianos and every single one of the beaches is marvelous, rio will always be rio…and the good nights spent in sao paulo can turn into nights u`ll never forget..u should go out more around here, get to know brazil really before u comment, and dont call it a shithole..where are ur parent from anywhere, well if u com to sao paulo ur welcome to know some great places…

  • droopey

    So there are a lot of hot girls there? Ive heard there are trannies because the men like how the women look at the carnival.

  • buffalo_soldier667

    KAI, Truthteller, you both are right.
    It’s simple. Food and liquor.

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  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Brazil was cool to me. It’s good to see other cultures in their own environment, walk on those lands.

  • Brooklyn

    i’ve never been to brazil, but from what i’ve seen, them bitches are bad. brazil does get it in though, them niggas will kidnap you and hold your ass for ransom, cutting off your ears and sending them shits to your family. i guess its the same with all countries, you got your good and your bad. tourists coming into the united states that go to 42nd street have an idea of a certain part of america, but they ain’t going into brownsville or east new york where the shit goes down. most of jamaica is impoverished, not the pretty beaches and resorts that you see on the commercials. if niggas showed their real face, no one would want to come there. stay in the resorts and i guess shit’ll be all gravy.

    • kai

      Wait, i agree with u in the most part, but i`ve never, ever in my 20 years of life, have heard of someone here being kidnapped and parts being sent back to the families to ask for ransom, it may have happened once, but it certanily isn`t common, (dont understando me wrong, kidnappings are a real danger here). What im saying is people tend to think its worse then it actually is. About 2 years ago, there were 8 homicides per 100.000 peolpe per year in Sao paulo, in the same year there were about 90 homicides per 100.000 in washington D.C…Once again i ask u no to understando me wrong, i know the US and brazil are worlds apart, but it helps es reference…

      • Brooklyn

        i saw a documentary on the sundance channel about how kidnappers would cut the ears off their victims and send them to the families along with ransom notes. i don’t remember the name of the doc or what city they were talking about, but it had to do with the class system in brazil and how a lot of brazilians are suffering. i don’t think brazil is any worse than any other country, people watch “city of god” and they make assumptions about the whole nation based on what’s happening in one city.

        • Kai

          Yeah, well, actually cause i didn`t hear it, it doesn`t mean it doesnt happen,after all i live in São Paulo wich is kind of the most developed city in Brazil, and i hear that in the center-west of brazil they live in some cities like in the wild west, with no laws at all. But hey if you dont mind some of the worst traffic jams in the world, and a city which at first sight seems ugly(its just at first sight, i promise) u should take some time and smell the ashes(the polluted air of sao paulo) cause, this city is friggin awesome

  • mr sin

    brazil is a great country, fuck what anyone says…. politics wise and economically it has major problems but the people over there are cool as fuck. Rio is a great city and the people in the favela’s are as real as they come…. i’ve spent a month in brazil and will most def be going back there… fuck u brazil hating bitches….. amo brasil

    • kai

      I hope u didn`t get me wrong, i love this country, and sao paulo is the city i most like in the whole world…I agree with u, all these problems exist, but are just a detail when u think how much fun and how many friends u get to know

  • UncleSam

    America its a shit… its a country with a lot of ignorants, u don´t know nothing about brasil, so shut this f**k up. Your teachers speak lies about Brazil. U destroyed many countries and kill million people with bombs and M16, u r crazy… so remember this when u go talk about Brazil!

    • Dani

      America its a shit… of course.

  • bob

    hey, c’mon, what yall are talking about?
    first of all, i’m sorry for my poor english…

    it seems you only have known the worst part of brazil… you must know your country got plenty of issues like ours…

    if you have gone to rio de janeiro, (it’s the most violent city) you saw what we don’t wanna show to the rest of the world.

    anyway, we have inteligent person, nice and inteligent girls, nice places (not only rio)

    there are gold diggers in any place in the world.
    i think you know this.

  • Cici Nini

    I totally agree. Corruption also is a big problem. Try to open a business. Impossible. You have to pay o many bribes for everything that it would be impossible to go on.
    Politicians… the most corrupt in the whole world. Lula for example, the whole world talks he came from lower class. So what? Come from lower class makes you better? All bullshit. Lula is the worst thief this country has ever seen. His team kills, corrupts, do all kind of sordid you canoot imagine. I hope God realease the country from this cancer. PT. Lula`s group of thieves.

  • deinha_audittore

    hey, is São Paulo not sao paolo
    i’m brasileira(brazilian), and really? you really wanna say shit of brasil? FUCK YOU.
    I just don’t say anytihng bad about your country
    cause i relly love USA.

  • ALL

    Brazilians doesnt know about their own country (history, geography) less about other countries. Brazilian education level is similar to African countries, the worst of Latin America(UNESCO infornation). It´s not a matter of poverty, it´s pure lazyness, lack of the right priorities. All here is crapand expensive: internet speed, public services (schools, hospitals, post service, electricity, water). Corruption levels are the hightest worldwide. Women´s self-esttem the lowest idem.

  • Luiz Guilherme Rodrigues

    Here’s the view of a Brazilian, I’m 15 years old, and my social conditions here, or rather the conditions of my parents are the same as the vast majority of the population, my mother and teacher, and my father retired.
    Currently not have much to complain and even most people around me.

    “We have quality education, study in two shifts, morning course called here the medium of instruction, and the evening course at the level of computing programming

    “And a beautiful country, not only in rio de janeiro, more than several points where I live for example, a site, and very beautiful, if you send pictures to you

    “I have access to most media, tv, internet, newspapers, cell phones take up almost all the territory in a variety of 4 operators, all this is accessible to living inside myself, in a city with a population of 5,000 approximately

    -People here are very friendly, at least, most of them

    -The country is in strong economic development, which has destroyed the country’s poor image around the world.

    Violent, in some larger cities, such as the poorest areas of rio de janeiro and sao paulo, but most poor areas of large cities do not matter what country are like that.

    Large cities, with the air polluted by industrial

    - Technological development weak, for example, the computer I am currently using, apeans the hard drive, power supply and video card were made in Brazil, the motherboard is Chinese and processor was not done here, the islands of current games, just the nintendo wii has factories in Brazil, and some xbox too.

    - Movies, games and much of the computer software used here are from the USA, especially those from Microsoft, but there are successful films made here, and operating systems and other software too.

    One thing to say moradosres USA (I am not referring to them as Americans, because we also live in america right?)
    In Brazil there are enough deaths due to violence in big cities, nothing close to the number of people killed in wars in the USA

    I sorry the bad translated

  • Brazil Girl

    Sounds like you had a good time in Brazil. We have the best girls in the world. Hope they took good care of you.

  • _|_

    you think that Brazil is the crap you see on television or what their teachers say, but not

  • Arthur

    I have to agree that brazil is indeed a shithole, and thats a brazilian sayin that. i could make a really large list of reasons why this place stinks but you guys condensed well the most reasons. corruption being the first and foremost problem in every single small segment of the society (and I really mean it, if theres anything related with certain amount of power, there will be corruption), poor education (most people cant even write properly a small sentence if they didn’t have a good private education, which is the womb of all the elitism we see around, since most of the citizens are ignorant about mostly anything related with general knowledge), immoral (the minimal sense of respect in common sense has been gone for a while, since most of people are just too ignorant and stupid to even know whats that supposed to mean, I would even risk to say that the moral concept is turned upside down with all the stupidity we see around) and elitist (if you don’t live in a noble area or neighbor, you’ll most likely be treated like some poor ignorant thug that isnt as cool and clean as the “playboys” > nickname they use to name the people with good financial conditions living in the noble areas). I wont go any further because I would have to spend long time typing out this stuff, but I’ll tell you this: if you hear something bad about it from a tourist or even from a brazilian that actually looks like hes properly educated, its true. most brazilians are too dumb and they cant engage into discussion and will most likely act like retarded nationalist fucks that will try to defend their point of view regardless of what facts are brought into the table. I know, every place in the world might have their similarities with what I’m saying, but the problem here is that the majority of the poppulation actually believes the country is alive and well and they keep on voting on the same robbers that have been sticking it up their asses for the last 20 years. its important to remark that voting in brazil is mandatory, being the most effective way the corrupt politics found to solidify their position in the government, since the majority of people are lazy and ignorant enough to not understand a single word of all the scandals brought day after day on the news.

    do you wanna know who carries this country on its shoulders? the honest worker who pays all his outrageous taxes, having nothing in return from the government, the same worker that gets tortured day after day watching all the shame that this country is, getting 30% of every worker’s income and redirecting it to the poor, but LAZY people that dont do shit for living. keep in mind that in brazil they encourage poor people to have kids, even if their salary cant afford to sustain the requirements inherent to raising a child, because the government offers them a fuckin check every month per child they carry.

    brazil is a fucking joke.

    • BR

      Tome no cú seu merdinha, nós fazemos de tudo pra agradar os gringos quando os recebemos no nosso país pra um merda desse falar da população brasileira ? Vá se informar melhor, as mulheres brasileiras são as mais bonitas do mundo, na Europa podem ser lindas mais um corpo de uma mulher de 60 anos !!! Tome NO CU

  • Aires

    in Brazil people are stupid and seal show, one sees corruption all the time.
    The only place that provides the country is in the south, because her people have the moral and even a lock fasem culture, that culture “Brazileira” it does not reach the people of the south are called GAUCHOS and fight for the separation of Brazil.