The Rap Paisan Awards

Hip-hop has been obsessed with Italian culture since way back when…I mean fughetaboutit, we’ll never be able to pinpoint the exact moment. But what we can do is pay homage to rap’s long and fruitful relationship with all things from the boot. So without further ado presents the Rap Paisan Awards…Dig in, or more appropriately, mange, mange!

Best Rap Gotti
Hip-hop has its share of John Gotti rap aliases, from Memphis trapstar Yo Gotti to Murder Inc CEO Irv Gotti, but none showed his true love for the Don like “Fiesta” guest MC Gotti. The former Cash Money affiliate spent a whole episode with the deceased Godfather’s daughter Victoria and her three sons in an episode of their now-defunct A&E series, Growing Up Gotti. As you can imagine, comedy ensued [Watch here].

MC Whose Raps Most Resemble Ziti?
Ghostface Killah. The other Wu-Gambinos don’t got noodles like Pretty Toney (II).

Best Italian R. Kelly Knock Off
Eamon. What can we say this Ecko-ed down crooner loves them hoes. Somebody get this dude a show on VH1.

Best Rappin’ Wiseguy
Joe Pesci. “You think this is funny? Funny how?”

Saigon’s Best “Manager”
While his career was first handled by the yet another “Gotti” (known for his stint at The Source), it took a Turtle named Jerry Ferrara to get this New York rapper out of his shell and onto HBO’s Entourage.

Most Ultra-Travolta-Dressed MC

Long before he was interrupting Taylor Swift onstage, Kanye West was showing off his taco meat at the ’05 Grammy Awards. He even emailed us his acceptance speech, sounds a lil defensive. “How I’m supposed to stand out/When everybody gets dressed up/So yeah at the Grammy’s I went ultra Travolta/Yeah, that tuxedo mighta been a little guido/But with my ego/I can stand there in a Speedo/And be looked at like a fuckin’ hero.”

Best Rap Appearance on The Sopranos
Sure, Lord Jamar made a cameo but it was Treach who stole the show. After getting shot in the ass by Bobby Bacala to bump up his street-cred, the Naughty By Nature frontman screamed like a girl. Big Pussy!

Best Rap Rip-Off of Saturday Night Fever
Ye might be ultra-Travolta, but Wyclef is just tryina stay alive. Get the CD from iTunes, hee hee.

Best Rocky-Inspired Music Video
In Boot Camp Clik’s “Heads Are Reddee Part 2” video the whole crew gets in on the Rocky theme. But it’s Sean P, who truly channels Sly Stone’s infamous character—running circles around one extra large ass pigeon—to shows off his inner-Italian Stallion (II).

Rap 12 inch that best personifies a Pizza Box

Special Delivery.

Most Random Italian Actor in a Jay-Z Video
Vincent Gallo. We’re still scratching our heads.

Best Spokesperson for an Italian Clothing Company
Gucci Mane. You can’t pay for publicity than that.

Most Inmate Friendly “Bawse”

Tony Danza. Unlike Officer Ricky, the O.G. Boss, Tony D,  was writing letters to Tupac during his stay behind bars. He was just letting Pac know, “there’s a brand new life, brand new life, brand new life around the bend.”

Just Blaze Song Most Likely to Cause a Guido Fist Pump
Exhibit G, F and P. Nuff Said.

Worst Reference to the Jersey Shore in a Rap Song
Coming in 3,2,1…—compiled by Jesse Gissen and Elan Mancini

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  • Incilin

    Wow, this might be the worst post I’ve ever heard on Not funny, nothing to say, totally random. Terrible.

  • silentmurder

    I enjoyed this post, seeing as how I’m part Italian… funny how these rap cats wanna be gangsters so bad.

    also, here’s some useless knowledge for you all: my great grandfather Joe Barbara (was a boxer, lightweight champion of the Midwest) was Al Capone’s bodyguard! how do ya like dem apples!?


    • Angelina

      Hi Silent murder,
      My father always talks about his my grandfather’s cousin Joe Barbara was a boxer and worked for Al Copone. Looks like we are related…

  • Ron Mexico

    inner sly stone? word?

    • Ron Mexico

      “In Boot Camp Clik’s “Heads Are Reddee Part 2” video the whole crew gets in on the Rocky theme. But it’s Sean P, who truly channels Sly Stone’s infamous character—running circles around one extra large ass pigeon—to shows off his inner-Italian Stallion (II).”

      that was not to pause you or suggest the sentence be reworked… it was to say that sly stone in someone entirely different from who you are impying.

      sly and the family stone is a band.
      sly stallone is an actor.

  • Novac

    UH! I got nothin’ to say

  • Enlightened

    This was definitely a stretch i.e. kinda some bullshit…

    but it does give me an opportunity to say we need to laugh at all these fake ass Gottis and wanna be Black Italians.

    Why the fuck would you be Black and walk around glorifying a culture that makes sure you KNOW they don’t respect you or fuck with you?

    You can’t watch one mafia movie that doesn’t have a scene that makes it clear that they feel that Black people are beneath them. Of course some people will say, “that’s just a movie” but no! it’s not. As a writer, I know that you don’t take precious time in a script to throw a disrespectful shot at people unless you want it to be known that’s a reflection of the bigger picture.- a microcosm of their feelings as a whole.

    You can take entertainment for what it is. I love mafia movies. But walkin around imitating they ass… corny ass fuck.

    • El Tico Loco

      Co tuda mudafuckin sign!
      I thought I was the only one that felt that way. That goes for the rockstar, skateboarding, wanna be anything but a black or latino rapper rappers.

      And sad to say the italian shit did kinda got outta hand after Wu Gambinos but I won’t get into that cuz is still a hot track.

    • HERM

      @ Enlightened

      Word to Scorsese.

    • DetroitDraper

      Cosign. I feel you I always thought that shit was corny. Especially wit No Limit. I agree wit u on that skateboard bs too…..shits madd corny yo


  • Jhon da Analyst

    You are totally right. I used to go to Bay Ridge Brooklyn and Canarsie and those Italians are some of the worst. They hate your fuckin ass but then bite your damn style. Oh dont get me started on Howard Beach Queens………

    • DV8

      just like a hefty percentage of Mexicans (and others of Spanish/ Latino descent) and those of Asian decent.

      Got the nerve to have a distaste for black folk but every time you see them they got on some Jordans, with a black athletes jersey, and some PhatFarm/ Baby Phat, Sean John or Rocawear, bumping hiphop music.

      Hate is the new love indeed.

  • Curtis75Black

    Nah Tico, you weren’t the only one !! A shout out is one thing but all those aliases and Hip Hop monikers were crazy, especially the videos. It was almost peeps forgot who they were.

  • 11KAP

    mooleys gettin gwop tho. lols!

    [guaps]: fuhgedaboutit. aww man!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Did this dude above say respect his gangster because of an almost century old relatives’ resume? OK.

    Anyway, them “Guidos” as they call them from Jersey, Pelham in The Bronx, Howard Beach in Queens, Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst, Canarsie in Brooklyn, Little Italy in Manhattan, Richmond in Staten Island ALL play that I don’t like Blacks, but all you have to do is look at them emulate mostly everything an A.A. does.

    I wasn’t feeling that Gambino sh*t the Wu was doing either. But I can see why. They were a mob of n*ggas gettin’ $ together.

    RZA – Bobby Steels
    GZA – Maximillion
    ODB- Joe Bananas/Dirt McGirt
    Inspectah Deck – Rollie Fingers
    Raekwon – Lou Diamonds (Louis Rich Diamonds)
    U-God – Lucky Hands
    Ghostface Killah – Tony Starks
    Method Man – Johnny Blaze
    Masta Killa – Noodles
    Cappadonna – Cappachino

    I blame it on the dust blunts…

    • silentmurder

      man it was just a joke, calm down.

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        Oh OK.

  • Dominikingz

    Its about time the Italian community got props for their Blueprint of the street game ( everyone got the tricks of the streets from them) and i dont really consider Italians to be all the way white, them dudes are down and remember that most Italians are a mixed breed even though they might deny it. Like that kid Pauly D from the Shore, he could fall for a Puerto Rican even Dominican. What about that boxer Arturo Gatti, looking at him, I thought he was Mexican, lol. But seriously, all these rappers should sent the Gambino, Gotti and even Escobar a check for giving them the knowledge of the streets.

    • Brooklyn

      actually, the italians got a lot of their game from the irish, who ran shit when they first came over here. that’s why they organized into a gang, because the irish were beating their asses, and escobar was colombian, not italian.

  • 11KAP

    roman catholic niggas been goin hard for ’bout 3000 years. niggas been hip to them since egypt and judea.

  • Brooklyn

    it’s not a love of italian culture more than it’s a respect for how the mafia handles their business. these niggas aren’t aspiring to be like your average italian-american, they got mafia dreams. they want the money, power, and respect that being a mafioso brings. the mafia is only one aspect of italian culture, and it’s more like a sub-culture at that. when you respect something, you pay homage. i go to school with mad italians, they dress like me, walk like me, talk like me, and listen to the same music that i listen to. they may profess to not like blacks, but they damn sure respect our culture. if they can adopt our culture and our mannerisms, why can’t niggas adopt theirs?


      Thats just hipocrite shit. No body needs to act like somethin they are not then say they are prejudice towards it at the same time. Thats like a KKK member dressin hip hop and listening to some kill whitey type rap shit. Ignorant.

    • Ronald Reagan

      @Brooklyn, the mafia started in Sicily. They did not originate as a result of what the Irish gangs were doing in America.

      • Brooklyn

        @ ronald reagan, i didn’t say they originated as a result of the irish, i said they got a lot of their game from the irish. i know the mafia originated in sicily, but they brought the tradition to america because when they got to here the irish gangs would try to extort them. to deal with the irish, they formed their own gangs, which would later be called the american mafia. they used a lot of the irish’s hustles to become prominent, because they couldn’t do the hustles in america that they could in sicily because america had different shit going on. the sicilian mafia formed independently of the irish gangs, but the american mafia adopted many of the irish gangs’ tactics and hustles.


    I never thought I would see some shit like that. A rap video done by none other than Joe Pesci called wiseguy. Man the agony. He is by far one of the best actors in the mob movie genre but please Joe dont ever try rappin again. Stick to acting it is what your best at. My ears are bleedin.

  • Tony Grands

    Alyssa Milano is holding up well. I know y’all seen her commercial for those NFL clothes. I’ll show her ass who’s the boss, alright…

    If I did learn one thing from this thread, it was how to correctly spell “paisan”. Next time I need to email an italian mobster, I’ll have more than just “fugazi” & “mooley” in my lexicon, capeesh?!

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Yeah, let me get some milk duds, juju bees, popcorn, and the fuckin “Mooley” is gonna pay for it………..Eddie Murphy

  • sean_izzle

    Oj Da Juiceman is all about sillyness! hes no.1 hands down AYE

  • Italiano

    Damn, we got some stereotypical people writing in here. I understand that there are Italian people out there that don’t like blacks, but that doesn’t mean ALL of them are racist towards blacks, (especially today’s generation) and shit as an italian person myself, I could def say you got 2 kinds of italians. Italians that don’t like blacks at all and hate Hip Hop or anything to do with it, or Italians that love Hip Hop, and don’t see nor care about race or ethnicity. I could honestly say I’ve never seen an italian person say they hate black people and then sport Hip Hop fashion, and listen to Hip Hop religiously. I’m sure it exists, but I’ve NEVER seen it. It’s either one of the 2 extremes I mentioned.