I was waiting for more details to emerge before weighing in on the Lloyd Banks Canadian beatdown, but fuck it. We’re only going to get statements from Chris Hines. I guess we’ll have to go with those, my fellow haters.

Based on the overwhelming support to add Banks to the 2010 DN Tournament field, I assume most of you are aware what happened in the most cut-and-dry of senses. For reasons still unbeknownst to us, Hines got the Choclair beaten out of him by Banks’ team.

[Blogger's Note: Ice Cold is the first album I've ever returned to a store for an exchange. I got Only Built 4 Cuban Linx for the third time, as it always got lifted from my place as soon as I could replace it around that time.]

While it may have been an ass-ignorant and suckerish move, there was definitely no sissyslapping going on in Hines’ encounter. The shit sounds like the polar opposite of that Kid Cudi’s Canadian beatdown scenario in every way possible.

Hines denies allegations that the dispute involved money, claiming that Banks was paid in advance. So, why in the fuck would a nigga face assault and false imprisonment charges? Could it have been something Hines said back at the club? “Hey, Banks. That set was a little short, bro. Can we get a second song or something?” I don’t know the Canadian legal system too well, but the latter charge can land you Wilt Chamberlain numbers stateside. What could have been worth it? I know I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but Hines looks soft as a cotton ball. Maybe that's why he was chosen for the beatdown.

[Blogger's Note: Not like imprisonment is an effective deterrent for niggerishness or anything.]

If you must send a message with a beatdown, don't go after a weakling. Doing so says more about your own cowardice. I switched schools a few times growing up. Not to divulge too much personal information, but I was usually the biggest and strongest kid at every stop. I played basketball everywhere, but if they had football teams in my part of the country, I'd have been on that shit cracking heads. This made me a target for the wannabe hard rocks. I'm by no means a violent nigga, but I had to put down the horsehead-in-the-bed beatdown on a challenger to set the tone at every school.

My point being, I was consistently perceived as a threat at every new stop. I always knew it was coming before it did. Niggas took shots. Niggas got neutralized quick-fast. They were looking for stripes. I was a game buck, so to speak. I get it. On the same coin, the ones who needed a football team's worth of niggas to run a poindexter for his McDonald's money and transit pass after school were all exposed as cowards at some point.

[Blogger's Note: I'm a warrior. So, let that be known.]

Banks' scenario sounds like the shit they got O.J. Simpson for. A nigga might have the Bills throwback, but I can imagine he wouldn’t want to be in a position to get it signed right about now. Have we learned nothing from Nordberg’s [many] miscues?

Banks should come out with a mixtape called “If I Had Beaten The Shit Out of Chris Hinds, Here’s How I Would Have Done Did It.” Is dude trying to supplant Tony Yayo as G-Unit lead goon? Clearly the collective isn’t putting its best efforts into selling rap music anymore.

Let’s say we find out Banks felt his manhood was tested based on a short. On what planet does fucking somebody up get you the money faster? Professionals know there is a legal process that handles these things. I’m sure one call to the label’s team of twerpy lawyers who absolutely live for instances of funds withheld. Instead, Banks is working in the direction of making sure he can never get Canadian money ever again. I wouldn’t be cutting off access to fans at this point. Where else can Lloyd Banks tour? As the homie KMD pointed out, ThisIs50 Fest isn’t gonna happen every weekend.

Now, if anyone’s going to be throwing down paper, it’ll be Christopher Lloyd—fucking Doc Brown himself. If a nigga could go back in time a few weeks, I bet he wouldn't have been such a coward. Hmm... Hold that thought. No Marty McFly could help his reasoning process If he was that dumb to do the dirt in the first place.

Too bad Banks did this shit after New Year’s Eve. He’d probably be Sweet Sixteen-bound.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Will they bury me a G? ron@ronmexicocity.com