Just my thoughts on Diddy’s son’s birthday party

I wasn’t there, but I saw some pictures of it on Necole Bitchie.

With all due respect, past and present, and without further… to do:

1) Are we sure that’s not Al B Sure’s son?

I know Diddy has one son who actually is Al B Sure’s son, because Diddy’s baby’s mother is also Al B Sure’s baby’s mother. (Coincidence?) I read somewhere that Diddy considers Al B Sure’s son his own son. Which must be weird for Al B Sure. It’s bad enough that that “Night and Day” probably ran out back in the early ’90s, which I’m sure is why his son has opted to live with Diddy. But to have Diddy go around calling the boy his son? Al B Sure could have the last laugh though, if it turns out Diddy’s real son isn’t really his. If you notice, Diddy has one son that looks just like him (and hence is probably shadier than a mofo), but the other one – the one that just turned 16 – is mad light skinted. He’s even got a Hawaiian Silky.

2) Justin couldn’t find a real date?

Think about it: We all had some broad we wanted to bang when we were 16. And if you’re like me, you definitely didn’t, and you’re gonna spend the rest of your life sitting around wondering what it would have been like. If I were Diddy’s son, I would have invited this girl to my ridonkulously expensive 16th birthday party. Shit, I would have put together a list of the 10 girls I’d most like to bang and invited all 10 of them, just in case the one didn’t work out. Or who knows, maybe you could bang all 10 of them. Not all women are materialist whores, but Diddy’s son can afford to play the averages. If Diddy’s son has a girlfriend, I’m sure she’s none too pleased with him kicking it with Nicki Minaj. If he doesn’t, this is one hell of a missed opportunity. Which leads me to suspect either one of two things: 1) Justin does have a girlfriend, but she’s white, and hence had to be left at home, for PR purposes, or 2) Justin is suspect. Here’s hoping it’s the former rather than the latter.

3) I’m sure the children of Haiti would like a Maybach.

Public relations expert that he is, Diddy must have predicted that people would be pissed at him for giving his son a Maybach, which costs more than I’ll make my entire life, for his 16th birthday. The same weekend when other celebrities were going on TV trying to raise money for the poor people of Haiti. You know how many Haitians you could feed for $360,000? 180,000. So what did he do? He also gave his son $10,000, which the son then donated to Haiti, hopefully not through Wyclef Jean’s charity. Damn. But I’m actually less concerned with the fact that Diddy considers his son 36x more important than the island nation of Haiti than the fact that he donated by way of his son’s birthday present, thus killing two birds with one stone. Technically, I’ve donated $30 more dollars than he is.

4) Does that Maybach count against his child support?

Diddy might want have to his lawyer look at whether whether that $370,000, plus whatever else that party cost him, should be taken into consideration, when it comes to his child support payments. At the very least, this should be the end of Justin’s mother trying to take him to court for more money. I know she hit him up recently, when she found out that she was getting less money than the one who used to be a model. (Which is only right, as far as I’m concerned.) But he might even want to see about having that car count against any future payments Justin would have received from him. Diddy has been an exec in the music biz for something like 20 years now, so you know the thought has crossed his mind – especially with the prospect of having to cop similar presents for his umpteen other kids.

5) Kids these days aren’t into G-Dep, are they?

Speaking of coming up with creative ways to deal with financial obligations, I’m assuming that’s why G-Dep was invited to perform. He must have tried to hit Diddy up for some money, and Diddy told him he’d pay him to perform at his son’s birthday party. I can’t imagine it’s because Justin just had to hear “Special Delivery.” Diddy could have just given G-Dep the $600 or whatever out of his pocket, and avoided having to explain to his son who G-Dep is and why he’d be performing at his birthday party, but he didn’t want to establish a pattern of him just giving G-Dep money. The Ghetto Dependent famously smoked up the half a million dollar advance he received to sign with Bad Boy, to the point where, a few years later, he got stuck on Rikers Island for a month, on some ol’ bullshit, because he couldn’t come up with the $750 bail. This was probably his best payday in a while. If you sell crack in the Harlem area, this is not the Monday to take off.

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  • Casey

    Great drop. Special Delivery is classic tho!

  • General

    Great drop. I agree he could have found someone else to take with him. Surely he could have atleast afforded to pay for a better lookin whore than Nicki Minaj, they couldn’t be that hard to find…

    • geico lizard

      “Shit, I would have put together a list of the 10 girls I’d most like to bang and invited all 10 of them, just in case the one didn’t work out. Or who knows, maybe you could bang all 10 of them.”

      This is Diddys son we are talking about Bol so if he banged all 10 then 8 of them would be pregnant right now. It was cheaper to just hire that escort Nicki Minaj.

  • hate

    last sentence just about killed me

  • yoprince

    “If you sell crack in the Harlem area, this is not the Monday to take off.”


  • sealsaa

    “giving his son a Maybach”

    “He also gave his son $10,000″

    I wish he’d adopt me. I’ll make the ultimate sacrifice and rock a shiny suit and an S-curl for a Maybach and 10 stacks.

    • eesco

      Co-Sign. Shit me too. i’ll b in videos like “eh eh eh eh, Take Dat”

    • giantstepp

      lls!! gotta co-sign this one homie! shit, i aint never had ten stacks at one time, and im a lot older than 16. close to it, but no cigar! it’s my mission to have ten stacks to play with, no Trey Songz!

      • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

        It’s a good feeling, smelling that new cologne ya heard?

        You also need tissue on the reg, you get ink spots on your fingers peeling. You have like 3 weeks to ball out.

        Now 50G’s gets you looking at real sh*t. A 100 is bomb status.

        But it don’t last. Be smart family if you get a chance to touch this type of paper. You would be better off with dental gold teeth than a chain…

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    “If you sell crack in the Harlem area, this is not the Monday to take off.”


    How could you miss Nicki Minaj being a hired escort? Was there a happy ending?

  • http://xxlmag.com Ben

    Fucking hilarious, you rule dude.

  • John Cochran

    Funny shit. That kid definitley looks nothing like diddy, People been saying that for years. The younger son does, and he looks like a rat. The whole thing was for MTV to film, we all know Diddy has to use every opportunity possible to be in front of a camera. The car and Niki Minaj will be returned shortly.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    I know we like to crack on Nicki for basically being the next hoe rapper but I gotta say Diddy’s kid didn’t make a bad decision if you really think about it. For being Diddy’s son, Justin probably gets girls throwing pussy at him on the regular and I’m guessing a kid like that has to be careful. Otherwise he’ll meet a chick that would poke holes in his condoms or find his used condom and use a turkey baster to impregnate herself.

    Even if he were to hire a whore, who knows if she might pour some shit in his drink and he ends up letting her give him a blowski. Except instead of swallowing or spitting his jizz out she ends up placing it safely in her vagina. I’m not saying Justin is hounded by gold diggers. I’m just saying it didn’t hurt Karren Stephens. Even if he were to meet a chick who wouldn’t try to have his baby, you also gotta consider the chance that she might use this date to pass Justin a demo tape she or a dude she’s fucking with made in hopes that it may reach Bad Boy records.

    So Nicki, a chick who has a record deal and is in a better position in her career than most rappers these days (even if she obtained it through teasing dudes with pics of her body), isn’t a bad choice in my opinion. Not the best but far from the worst. I bet you if Justin had gotten a chick with Nicki’s body frame, the very next day dudes at his school would tell him that they saw her on an ass shaking video on World Star or had heard she once banged another rapper (no Joe Budden).

    I remember Timbaland’s son had Rihanna (before her Goth shit) as his date for his sweet sixteen and she endded up ruining the career the the supposed next Micheal Jackson. I bet you sweet, innocent Rihianna was considered a safe choice as a date.

    • Joe Morgan jr.

      @nicholasdeloreyo. You summed up the whole female situtaion perfectly.co-sign.

  • cmoney91

    Bol u crazy,awesome post especially number 5 about G-Dep.

  • http://www.jango.com/music/EmCDL EmCDL

    Man Diddy’s son (or should I say Al B Sure’s son) is not tryna get up on no 16-17 year old asscheeks. It was a wrap once he had Nikki on his arm. You see the way he was checking her out in the video when she was performing? He ain’t tryna mess with girls his age no mo!

    And Nikki looked like she was directing traffic with them hand motions she was doing on stage while performing…

  • NotoriousAGC

    The same weekend when other celebrities were going on TV trying to raise money for the poor people of Haiti. You know how many Haitians you could feed for $360,000? 180,000. So what did he do? He also gave his son $10,000, which the son then donated to Haiti, hopefully not through Wyclef Jean’s charity. Damn.

    ^^^^ goddamit and the good posts’ keep comin’.
    i would fux Nicki minaj i don’t care how many people hate…

  • Tiiz

    “You know how many Haitians you could feed for $360,000? 180,000.”
    Why has no one pointed out how fucked up that is?? lol

  • Brooklyn

    lmfao @ hawaiian silky, where i grew up we called it the puerto rican s-curl. i been saying for years that that kid don’t look like diddy, but the kid’s moms is mad light, she was that blonde haired bitch that was with him in the “big poppa” video. but still, we know how hoes are, she probably fucked around with christopher williams and then passed that baby off as diddy’s. and from under what rock did they bring g-dep? last i heard that nigga was doing that special delivery and flipping out all over harlem world. diddy defintely let him perform as a favor, you know them sherm smokers ain’t the ones to fuck with.

  • macdatruest

    Lil Dude moms, Misa Hylton-Brim is half Japanese

  • http://myspace.com/ncprecise ncprecise

    HAHA! was thinking the exact same thing when i saw g-dep! justin was rapping his verse word for word though so maybe he is a fan of gdep… dude was looking lost as hell when they were harlem shakin lol

  • chris

    man i would fuck the shit out of nikki and after im dun with her im a unload a whole thick load of creamy nut all over her face,then tell her those are the kids that could of been hers.she fuckable but thats it

    • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks


  • tensensi

    Leave Wyclef alone.

    It’s called money laundering. Do you seriously think people with money report it all to the Feds? It’s all media spin to discredit a man who was helping Haiti long before this earthquake.

  • sealsaa

    ^Um YES, lest you end up getting audited, and eventually inticted. Money laundering was a prison worthy trespass last I checked, so’s tax fraud.

  • geico lizard

    “Not all women are materialist whores”

    Not all but most american women under 40 are materialistic whorinas.

  • http://thacorner.net prodigynius
  • kermitt387

    funny shyt!!! that was a great read

  • chillin mayne

    BOL…they jackin yo jokes son.. hit the link and forward to 4.40


  • Tierra

    OMG stop hating on Justin and Puff, who gives a shit if puffy sperm created him or not. They look at and love each other as father and son and thats all that matters. Why would anybody try to stressed they fact that he not his bio son. People should be happy that he has a dad that love instead of one that left him. Trust money was donated to haiti, by Diddy so he can do what ever he want with his hard earned money

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