As was the case with white women taking over rap music, I could point to the news that Beyonce might be with the terrorists as proof that I’m almost always right about everything, but I’m not even gonna bother. I’m just glad people are finally starting to bend to my point of view.
Word has begun to spread that Beyonce performed on New Year’s Eve at a party thrown by the son of Libyan dictator Muammar Gadaffi. There was a story about it today in the New York Post. The fact that we’re only hearing about it just now leads me to believe it was meant to be top secret. We probably wouldn’t have heard anything about it, except the incorrigible Russell Simmons, who was there, was taking pictures of Beyonce’s ass and uploading them to Twitter.
I seem to recall reading in an interview – I don’t know if it was that Diddy interview in Playboy (I was in Playboy before it was all trendy) or an interview with Jay-Z – that the reason these rappers like kicking it in St. Barts is because you can get away with all kinds of shit you couldn’t get away with here in the States, because the stalkerazzi can’t afford to go down there. Who knows what kind of shit goes on down there? That might be where Jay-Z has his meetings with the illuminati. In fact, it must have been an interview with Jay-Z, because I remember him saying that’s why he doesn’t fuck with Twitter, whereas Diddy is always on Twitter, teaching underage kids how to make new drinks with Ciroc vodka, and copping a plea about how he’d have sex with fat black women.
We don’t believe you, you need more people.
The guy who threw the party isn’t a terrorist per se, but the media have tried to paint his father as a terrorist, using that where there’s smoke there’s fire logic. Riddle me this, Batman: If Muammar Gaddafi is a terrorist, how come Homeland Security didn’t snatch him up when he was in New York last year, when he was having to sleep in a tent in a public park, because he couldn’t get a hotel room? It should have been especially easy to detain him, since he wasn’t indoors. I know, he’s the leader of a country, and leaders of countries can’t just arrest one another, or there’d be anarchy. But you know these crack-ass crackas don’t give a shit about him being the leader of Libya. They wouldn’t even let him sleep indoors.
The media just wants you to think Muammar Gaddafi is a terrorist, because he was trying to get black people our reparations. Last year, right around the time Gaddafi was in New York, there was a story in Harper’s that broke down how Israel in particular has been standing in the way of black people getting our reparations. In 2001, there was a big conference in South Africa, in which it was to be discussed how I might finally get my 40 acres and a mule, but Israel forced the US (which it controls) to withdraw, on the grounds that it was somehow antisemitic. Muammar Gaddafi came to the US last year to make similar demands, and Peter Rosenberg, who has ties to the Israel Lobby, went on a tirade against him on his show on Hot 97. This despite the fact that Hot 97 had probably never discussed international politics before in its umpteen year history. Hmm…
It’s also interesting to me that there’s an African guy, Gaddafi’s son, who’s rich enough to essentially rent Jay-Z’s wife for an evening. On New Year’s Eve, no less. In addition to Beyonce and Russell Simmons, Jay himself was there, as was Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, and motherfucking Lindsay Lohan. That’s a lot of money. Some illuminati shit must have been discussed at this party. Otherwise, why would the co-founder of Microsoft be kicking it on New Year’s Eve with a buncha black people and a guy who’s probably on the no fly list? Rush and Gaddafi’s son, Hannibal (no, really), must have been trying to pitch him on a conflict diamond mining scheme. And I’m assuming Lindsay Lohan was there because Hannibal thought maybe he could fuck her in exchange for some coke. Whereas, Beyonce was just there to sing. If there’s two things I know about Africans, it’s that they might love white women even more than us domestic black men, and they definitely have worse taste in music.
This guy Hannibal does have a wife, but she was probably at home nursing a black eye. The story in the New York Post describes his rather colorful rap sheet, including two separate times he punched his wife in the eye, in 2005 and 2009, the most recent of which took place on Christmas Day, i.e. a couple of weeks ago. Merry Christmas, bitch! No but really, I’ll sit here and crack jokes about women getting beat up, even though I don’t condone that sort of thing, but I’m not the one taking money to sing at this guy’s birthday party, when it’s not like I really need it. Beyonce has been a famous musician since I was in high school, and I’m at the age now when I’ll think twice before getting up from the couch, just to avoid the wear and tear on my knees. Plus, you know Beyonce’s father been had money. That peasant accent she speaks with is part put-on and partly due to the fact that she didn’t receive a proper formal education, out trying to pursue a career in music. That’s why I don’t sweat writing something that might offend her. How would she know?