Don’t Tweet and Drive

What can we say about Bow Wow that hasn’t already been said about Lil’ Romeo?

“Face numb im whippin the lambo,” he wrote. “Tispy as fuck.” Adding, “Im fucked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris [Brown] might have to drive after next spot.”

-via XXLMag.com

Well, fuck. I guess there’s that.

I’m kind of amazed at the notion of Bow Wow, Chris Brown and Akon drunk driving around Florida for New Year’s Eve. Not only does the scenario sound like the opener of a terrible joke, but two of the three enna-tainers have recent legal trouble.

Put a pin in that one, we’ll come back to it.

As if drunk driving weren’t bad enough, Twitter self-etherization takes on a new form in Prince Bow snitching on himself while the crime is still in progress. What the fuck was going on there? Was he drunk driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on his Blackberry? Maybe this nigga thought people would give a shit about him if he were dead, like it would be tragic or something. I know we tend to dramatize artists’ impact when they transcend, but ironically enough, I think niggas would turn Bow Wow’s fiery death into a comedic trending topic. #BowWowWentOutLike

If niggas found out Bow Wow died doing that dumb shit, I think their only concern would be if he took anyone else with him. Otherwise, it would be a completely green-lit clownfest. I can’t exactly say it wouldn’t be deserved either. In fact, Bow Wow would be reviled the middle school world over for taking Brown with him. No matter what Brown does, that generation of self-hating attention-seeking baby bitches we’ve created will defend him. Bow Wow would be lucky to be even the Ritchie Valens to Brown’s Buddy Holly.

[Blogger's Note: Some of you readers look just like him. But I don't care about that.]

Don’t think we didn’t notice that “face numb” shit either. “Face numb” is some serious Juelz Santana & Lil’ Wayne cuckoo for coke-o puffs shit. Good work, Bow Wow. He must have been geetered up pretty good to be driving and tweeting at same time. Aspiring rapsters, take note. This is can be your life for fuckin with that Like Mike.

Clearly this ho-ass nigga wasn’t too fucked up to namedrop. The last thing Chris Brown needs right now–aside from being dead, of course–is to be confirmed as having knowingly rolled with a drunken and coked-out driver. Way to pull the mechanical dummy into it, Nino. Ain’t Brown on probation and shit? The fuck is he doing riding around with a cocaine kingpin like Nino as if he were fuckin Duh Duh Duh Man?

[Blogger's Note: The b-b-b...]

Speaking of which, none of this Bow Wow bashing is to absolve Brown and Akon of responsibility in this situation. They both knew Bow Wow was twisted. Look at him. He’s like 78 pounds in a monsoon. Nigga probably gets ripped off of half a Calvin’s Cooler. You’re equally responsible for the Ras Kass action that ensues if you get into a vehicle he’s operating. Let alone if you’re pouring the lines onto the dashboard for him.

Here’s where a dumb-ass nigga pops in to remind me that coke wakes you up, making you a better drunk driver.

With all that said, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to find out Bow Wow was completely sober and wrote that because he thought it would make him sound cool. Kinda like calling himself Nino Brown and molesting the New Jack City motif.

Under normal rapper circumstances I might throw something in there about how Bow Wow’s having a negative influence on the kids or whatever. But, in this case, influence may be working the other way around if anything. This nigga acts like he hasn’t aged a day from Lil’ Bow Wow. Maybe I’m onto something there. He’s still pretty much the same size, right?

Cash Money is in serious trouble. Cash Money’s supposed to be an army. They lookin’ more like Coast Guard on leave in a college town. What the fuck is going on over there? Is there not a professional with a clue on the entire roster? I would say the obvious answer being Drake, but he signed with these foolhardy negroes and then put out the mixtape everyone already had as an official release at the height of his influence [pron: manufactured buzz]. Needless to say, the jury’s still out on him too.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Want some fresh azimiz on your falafel? ron@ronmexicocity.com

Consequence & Diddy’s Coon Picnic are on deck for tomorrow. That’ll probably be the title too, unless I think of something better between now

Oh, yea. One day someone is going to live-tweet a murder.

  • Victoria Page

    “He’s like 78 pounds in a monsoon.” LOL!!!!

  • hate

    good post.

    “With all that said, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to find out Bow Wow was completely sober and wrote that because he thought it would make him sound cool.”

    that perfectly sums up the majority of these rappers nowadays

  • RonTucker

    “With all that said, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to find out Bow Wow was completely sober and wrote that because he thought it would make him sound cool.”

    Yo, I was thinking the exact same thing the entire time I was reading this. What a clown. And correct me of I’m wrong but isn’t CB underage and Akon like 50? What the hell kinda crew is that?

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Fuck twitter

  • Beeyo

    He might’ve been a bit “tispy”, but I doubt the kid knows what having his “face numb” really indicates. I just can’t see his lil ass bustin down lines. he’s always gon be a mamas boy, no matter how bad he tries to gangsta his shit up. Even without the drugs though,Bow Wow’s headin down that path most child stars head down, all the way down to obscurity. Kinda feel bad for him….Kinda. Not too much though.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    “Want some fresh azimiz on your falafel?”

    ^ rofflesberger

    But I can’t lie Mexx, Tony Grands passed the finish line 1st with this drop(piym).

    Although I can see what the homie above said about Bow doing this for publicity, I’ma go with the first thought I had:

    This lil’ n*gga Bow Wow is stupid for this one. Dry snitching on him & others on twitter. Shorty’s lucky he didn’t Jayson Williams himself.

    Him and Royce are leading the SDN nominations as of right now.

    • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

      piym=pause if you must

  • Lowedwn

    “Look at him. He’s like 78 pounds in a monsoon. Nigga probably gets ripped off of half a Calvin’s Cooler.”

    Nah, I’d say it’s a cap full of some Cisco and he’s challenging midgets shorter than him to fight and drunk dialing/text/tweeting Ciara. And he actually probably drinks that Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, anything stronger and he’d be looking like lil Kane in Menace when Pernell gave him a swig.

    • BIGNAT

      please his ass get tipsy once you open the bottle. he get shaky off liquor fumes

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Has anybody else noticed Bow Wizzow looks like his parents could be Lil Mama & Raja Rondo?

    If he did it for publicity, he did that shit wrong. He should’ve tweeted like he’d already crashed, & was in a ditch. The Twittiot community would’ve gobbled that shit up. Then, say “they hacked my shit,” & all would be forgiven…

    “Yo, fuc drunk drivn, upside down, bleedn, call 91w!”

    “Seein tupac n biggie, mama help! Ohshit, I can’t feel myface”

    “Chris ran,nigga left me, cant move sealbelt. Damn, almost drop the blcberry”

    “Dismiss those tweets! Niggas hacked me! I can’t be stpd! Nino bitches! Cash money young money2010!”

    • Hanch

      Oh shit Grands thats hilarious. Those lines had me laughing hysterically especially the
      “Chris ran,nigga left me, cant move sealbelt. Damn, almost drop the blcberry” and seeing Tupac an Biggie, mama helpp LMFAO

  • El Tico Loco

    Wow Mex you be posting about everything I try to ignore on WSHH. Guess Bow wow has tried every possible stunt to get his buzz back except stepping his bars up, is no wonder that YM let him go he was like a turd floating in the gumbo. Poor dude got Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges issues fuckin with that Mr Drummond.

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    Isn’t Bow Wow supposed to be dead by his own hand already? I know I remember him tweeting on his Crackberry about how he was depressed and didn’t feel like going on. Some of these twiggas got issues.

    Mex, I absolutely do believe that someone is going to tweet a murder one day. And soon! I mean, I done seen everything else. I could’ve swore I saw a mother tweeting while watching her child drown or something just last month. MADNESS!!

  • Brooklyn

    that nigga definitely did that shit for publicity, he was probably at home on his couch watching “roll bounce” on dvd and reminisicing about when he actually had a viable career when he said that shit. i never understood him calling himself nino brown, that nigga ain’t even g-money

  • Will E. Will

    hahah great drop Mex. Ron Tucker is right what kind of crew IS that? lmaooo @ Akoon like 50?

    I really, still dont understand that twitter shit. It’s so fuckin pointless to me. It’s a fuckin networking site of nothing but “away” msgs. Does no one else see that shit? I mean I’ll just stick to using the “away msg” on my AIM (not like i use that shit anymore either)

    The whole twitter thing to me seems like another ploy by The Elite, Illuminati, etc. to keep tabs on people. I mean think about it, everyone just typing away on their twitter accounts, giving ppl all their info when no one even asked. I dont care wtf you’re doing, when you’re gonna do it, and what you just finished doing. I didnt ask!!! lol Shit just seems so “self etherizing” to me, and billions of ppl have just fell in line, just like everything else we’ve been brainwashed into doing. Anyway thats my 2 cents, hate it or luv it.

    Shouts to the real smart cats on here that bring alot of knowledge u know who u are. I check for comments from u guys as much as, if not more than, the blogs.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    Mex! You gotta go in on Gilbert Arenas. That shit would be too funny.

    • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

      Co-sign!

      Gilbert Arenas + Washington BULLETS.

      ^^^There’s a good joke in there somewhere.

      • BIGNAT

        i was thinking the same thing about machine gun gilbert. no need for a sdn tournament this year that nigga won already. just do post about him week after week.

  • http://xxlmag.com imonapaperchase

    “I think niggas would turn Bow Wow’s fiery death into a comedic trending topic. #BowWowWentOutLike”…Mex you a fool for that lol

  • Jake Steed

    #BowWowWentOutLike a fat kid in dodgeball

    #BowWowWentOutLike a boner in sweatpants

    #BowWowWentOutLike Lil Zane