Desperate much, black women?

I thought Kim Kardashian had an official pass from the black community?

I don’t seem to recall there being any uproar back when she was the first non-black woman on the cover of King magazine, back before it went out of business and relaunched sans (new) journalism. Which of course begs the question of why it has an Editor in Chief, and how come I wasn’t considered. Can I be Deputy Editor (whatever that means)? My ability to sort through pictures of women is world renown.

The other time I recall there being a non-black (or hispanic, I guess) woman on the cover of King was when Tila Tequila was on the cover, and I’m not gonna lie – I was a little bit pissed. But not because I felt like she was taking an opportunity away from a black video ho. Because I was featured in that issue, so they sent me that one for free. It was only issue of King I ever had, and I could hardly stand looking at it. I used to have to leave it sitting on its cover.

You guys know I don’t generally dine on Chinese, but even if I did, Tila Tequila’s pancake face seems a little bit extreme to me, to the point where I’m not sure if I could rise to the occasion. Not that you needed to know that. But while we’re on the topic of things you don’t necessarily need to know: If I had to bang an Asian broad, I’d probably go for a woman named Elly Tran Ha. Consult Google Images to see why. (Note that in this case, Tran is an Asian person’s name, not an indicator that she migh be able to fuck me, if she somehow disabled me.) Either her, or this woman with ridonkulously large cans (I know…) named Fuko (pronounced Foucault).

The reason I bring this up is because I was over at Sandra Rose just now, and I saw where black women are pissed that Essence magazine put Reggie Bush on the cover of their next issue. But not because he looks mad suspect, with his sweater all open like that – which was my issue. You know black women like black men a little bit suspect. That’s why the AIDS rate’s all out of control. No, they’re pissed because he’s dating Kim Kardashian, who isn’t black. Never mind the fact that Kim Kardashian has a huge ass, and has done a lot to make that look more socially acceptable, which should work out in most black women’s favor, and the fact that she did a sex tape with Ray J, which, regardless of what you think about it, was probably a boom for race relations in this country, and may have even played a role (on a subconscious level) in electing our first black president, and the fact that, if white people caused a stank because a woman who dates black men graced the cover of Time magazine, that shit would be the new Don Imus.

The list of reasons why this is some ol’ bullshit goes on and on.

But the thing is, black women are on edge right now, because of a recent special on ABC about how some ridonkulous percentage of them have never been married. I even mentioned this yesterday, in my post about the photo op with homeless people Kanye West did to try to get his career in order. There’s been a definite shift in black male-female relations in the past few weeks. The response to my post about the ABC special, and to an especially amusing post I did about a profile in the Washington Post of the author of a forthcoming book on black women’s relationship woes, has been way more vitriolic than the response to similar posts I’ve done over the years.

The difference, I suspect, is that the illusion that this is all black men’s fault is starting to fade. To be sure, the ABC special did lay most of the blame upon black men. They even went so far as to have a computer expert put together a graph showing just how few “eligible” black men are left, once you take away the ones who are in jail, didn’t graduate from high school, and don’t have a job. They didn’t even bother to mention the ones who are suspect, but like I said – that’s not necessarily a deal breaker. You’d think black women’s response to a special like this would be to put it forth as further proof that they’re god’s gift, just like Michael Eric “Cornholio” Dyson said they are, and if only there were more black men who were worthy of being with them, but they probably couldn’t get past that initial statistic. Men lie, women lie even more than men, but numbers don’t. The truth of the matter is that black women’s vaginae could emit solid gold coins, and it wouldn’t change the fact that most of them are lonelier than I am.

Someone should explain to them that throwing shade on Reggie Bush’s Essence cover isn’t gonna help matters. It’s just gonna make them look that much more desperate. And I happen to know, from having studied “relationship strategy,” that people aren’t attracted to people who look desperate. The best way to make a woman want you is to pretend to not be interested. Maybe that’s why DL brothers get so much play.

  • JAY STONE

    For some reason,bol is on fire nowadays.

  • Moving Sideways

    great drop today, Mr. Crawford.

  • DetroitDraper

    Bol stay on fire IMO. Dude seemed like a cool guy and all but Im happy as hell DP left…He was getting stale as hell

    MAYN HOL’UP

  • dat koon nigga

    stop thinking so much or jerk off

  • Brooklyn

    the different between kim kardshian’s king cover and reggie bush’s essence cover is that niggas read king and black women read essence. i’m speaking for myself here, but as long as a chick got a decent face and a banging body, i wouldn’t give a fuck what race she is. i don’t buy king because i want to see sisters exclusively, i buy king because i want to see ass and titties, regardless of their shade. black women buy essence because essence talks about black woman shit. i guess they don’t want a nigga that’s with a non-black woman to be on the cover. it’s fucked up, but black women take black men stepping outside the race real personal, i can’t count how many times my moms has told me “if she can’t use your comb, don’t bring her home” or “if she don’t know what hog maws are, leave that bitch right where you found her” or simply just said, “don’t you bring no white bitch up in here.” they feel that there’s so few “eligible” black men, that when one marries a white woman, it’s an affront to black women everywhere.

  • BigJon

    Black women are known for not giving dome, thats why they can’t lock down husbands. Bol it’s up to you to let em know!

    • El Tico Loco

      No black women are known for SAYING they don’t give dome, but behind close doors is a different story. Is their lack of submissiveness that’s holding them back so they claim to be “independent”. Nah bitch you just lonely masking it with accomplishments.

      • that nigga

        Wow, what an analysis Loco. Right on point I must say.

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Sistas need to take it up the shitter more too…..

    • Phillmatic

      That’s the comment of the year so far.

    • that nigga

      @ Jhon: Are you serious? Thats some funny shit, no pun intended. But like I tell my friends, whats the difference between a mans shitter and a women’s? Shit! No pun intended, again. Thats nasty, man.

      Dick, Pussy= Difference
      Ass, Ass= Same.

      Not cool.

      • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

        kissin lips on a woman and man= same?

        lettin a man suck ur dick, a woman suck ur dick=same?

        woman ass, man’s ass=same?

        thats funyy… that how them jailhouse niggas rationalize THEIR faggotry…

        if YOU think there is no difference between a man’s ass and a woman’s ass, YOU have some soul searchin to do.

        and i usually like ur comments. but this one?

        “Not cool.”

  • RonTucker

    ”The best way to make a woman want you is to pretend to not be interested. Maybe that’s why DL brothers get so much play. to make a woman want you is to pretend to not be interested. Maybe that’s why DL brothers get so much play.”

    Spot on.

  • hate

    wayyyyyyyyyyy too many lines to quote on this one. co-sign jay stone. you ill lately

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    “The best way to make a woman want you is to pretend to not be interested”

    ^^^ This

  • tommy gunz

    i fingered 3 black chicks from milwaukee once..there was a definite lemon & bacon, licorice & band aid, and tulip petal & clove odor thing goin on…not that bad when u think about it…

    • macdatruest

      Im from Milwaukee! Mil-town got some of the grimiest hoes this is one of the cities where pimpin originated. Now it’s just a city full of hoes on welfare and a bunch of niggas trying to hustle.Sometimes, with all these “vixxens and bad girls and independent ladies and boss bitches and shit…..I wonder, when is the pimp ass niggas gone stand back up????

      • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

        oh, YOU gots to fuck wit me man… stop thru the site…

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    put this one in the hall of fame STAT

  • http://www.jango.com/music/EmCDL EmCDL

    “The truth of the matter is that black women’s vaginae could emit solid gold coins, and it wouldn’t change the fact that most of them are lonelier than I am.”

    I don’t know how lonely you are Bol, but you on point about black women being so lonely. That independence they claim to have makes them like that too. One minute they complain about how there’s not enough good black men in the world, then the next they bagging on us when we date a girl of a different race…damn girls can’t make up their mind. I date whatever race I don’t discriminate…as long as she cute and got the booty and ain’t crazy I could care less. Love don’t got no color, shits universal.

  • sealsaa

    *Golf claps for calling shenanigans on this “black queen” rhetoric*

    Shit needs to be put to rest. Black women need to accept and work on their shortcomings. The media is either bestowing undeserved pitty on black women, or intentionally trying to demonize black man, maybe both. That shit needs to stop.

  • Enlightened

    If I had (a choice) to bang (another) Asian woman it would be Hitomi Tanaka. Google that muthafuckas!

  • Avenger XL

    Cosign what brooklyn said above.

    Also Marriage is no longer veiwed the same way in the black community as in other cultural groups. But I think it is like everything in this country marriage is on the decline overall and when America catches a cold, black america catches neumonia. So yes there are fewer “” good black men but many of these black women are unrealistc.

  • sealsaa

    @ Enlightened. Them tits is ridiculous, but i’d go for my fantasy jump-off Lily Thai.

    • Enlightened

      Yeah, you couldn’t go wrong with Lily. What about Lucy Thai though? Is you up on that? A little less cute in the face, but more like a Black woman from the neck down. I’d have to get her too.

      • http://www.jango.com/music/EmCDL EmCDL

        Damn both them girls got it; I ain’t into asian girls like that but they’d get the business. Hitomi got some phat titties but Lily got body for days…

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Black women stay complaining about unnecessary shit, & this ‘Essence’ cover is a prime example. Maybe their scarves are tied too tight, or that weave glue is seeping into their brains.

    & I can’t speak for other cities, but in L.A., yikes. These chicks let themselves go, in horribly unattractive ways & really expect a decent nigga to look @ them. I don’t even smell perfume much in the air these days. Somebody told them busted down winter boots, too small muffin maker tops & hoods to cover bad hair-do’s was okay. Somebody lied.

    For all the shit that they talk, I’d assume mirrors are hard to come by in the chickenhead coop.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    co sign JAY STONE and El Tico Loco…and Hate and Ron and…damn it co sign everyone. im on the bus niggas…i love black women i dislike the ‘pay my bills additude’

    F it i’ll add my 2. the stigma that black men r the blame for social ills is lifting. peace.

  • sealsaa

    @ Grands

    Its that “black queen” rhetoric thats been pumped into their heads since the late 80′s/mid 90′s. Self-preservation can’t compare to the blissful ignorance that is entitlement and self-aggrandizement.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      @seal

      Hell yeah. Too much Queen Latifah & Oprah Windbag blowing smoke into the nail salon windows for a good 10 year stretch. The women who find these genetically Captain’s get exactly what they were looking for…

      Tiger Woods’d or Chris Brown’d, then wonder why where the “real niggas” were? We were @ work, or taking care of our kids, living in reality while they chased Tyler Perry movies.

      All that perpetual nagging & so-called motivation blew up in their collective faces. Now, they want to cry foul. No dice.

      • nicholasdelorejo

        Cosign Grands.Them Kardashain broads are some of the badest chicks to grace this Earth and I don’t give a fuck what race they are. I can’t speak for many folks here since I’m just kinda young but I remember seeing these so-called fortune 5 black chicks in my high school and some now in college. These chicks were truly over achievers yet instead of fucking with dudes in their advance classes or any dude with his head right, they fucked with the grimiest, most uninspirered. They ignored the dudes that probably would have gotten a career and treat them right but instead fucked with dudes whose only agenda was to portray the role of being “freah”, a “thug”, or a “playa” in the eyes of those broads. Eventually the dudes who had their future together said “fuck those bitches,” and didn’t bother dating those so called female victims. Some of those guys even dated some of the asian chicks who attended my school.

        Of course this was from my experience but my point is that if black women want those compatible black men to stop “betraying” them by dating outside of the race and pursue a relationship with them, they need to start showing that they want a successful black man early on. Don’t complain about not having a good black man when you drive those few black men to dislike you and pretty much continue to inspire the many black men who would sadly become the men those black women would complain about. And blaiming all black men for this isn’t heling either.

  • cmoney91

    you could give credit to jay-z for that numbers don’t lie quote. Good post Bol.

  • epinz

    This has nuthin to do with this post, but where can I find instrumentals from de la soul, pete rock, and ice cube? I y’all could help me that would b huge nggz!

    • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

      youtube homie. They got you with that.

  • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

    good work Bol!

    @Jay Stone… ur right. he has been on fire lately….

    these bitches stink! i mean wholeheartedly! the types that show up to the function with they whole attitude prissy, but probably dont even shave they pussy. not even give it a trim. but they always got a complaint. then look for somebody to fill that order. but dont even come close to bein supportive, like these white women they always so upset about. how we gone be happy and u constantly against me?

    Becky will keep her mouth shut and her legs wide. and when it comes to it, she will also be the one to be there to tell a nigga aything gone be ok. let a nigga take a fall when u in it wit a black chick. she got anger and criticism and will even fuck a next nigga and make it obvious. then wonder why she gets her eye pillowed. now i aint advocatin violence against no women..well, unless we have an agreement and she dont show up with my money… but, what i’m sayin is, this be the shit they call they brothers and cousins to come handle and then this be the reason why a whole lot of niggas on ice in the penn. cause some bitch committed an offense and got her cousin or brother caught up in some DUMB shit, defendin her “honor” or their names and reputations as a man. word to my lil man Ramon. sittin on a shootin behind some shit his sister did. it be the bullshit that feed the statistics. behind a bitch.

    and sealsaa got a point too. this black queen shit got these bitches bonky. i wrote a post on my site, http://www.bboycult.com, “Who’s The Mack?” detailin my view on a part of what keeps this bitches bonky. kingdoms are ruled by love or by force. then if u can’t force me to respect u, then who and what are u that i should do so freely? to the degree that i should call u ‘queen’? why do u expect so much for so little? cause u give up the pussy? do u know how fast Becky will fuck a nigga? with 2 times less hassle and twice the reward? who needs it? and i’m a Caribbean boy. i love a bad bitch wit dreads. but this stringy hair shit is startin to REALLY look good to me. cause the Buddha teaches a very important lesson, one that i use when i deal with my crew and in life in general… he says: “the leader of men must first learn to be their servant”. so where’s my dinner, bitch?

    sooner or later they gonna get it. i don’t know how many dudes are gonna have to come along and write songs detailin exactly the type of qualities that they value only to see u bitches do the opposite everyday. how can u expect good results like that? why dont yall listen? oh, yeah, thats right. yall only hear the negative. like the bitch gettin mad right now cause i said bitch so much, instead of digesting the advice-the positive part- and chalkin the rest up to frustration with you bitches. cause i dont give a shit who u say you are, u gots to show me. queen.

    now leave ur resume by the door, bitch.

    and get some guidance in ur life…

  • mousie

    WOW… Bol struck a nerve and has my dudes on some mob mentality ish. Shaky grounds indeed, but I’ll enter. Been a “lurker” (What’s up $yk) awhile (years). Left and came back to see most still here, good news. This is unexpected from a few who are usually insightful, thoughtful and poignant.

    I’ll start at the beginning. In the 60′s and 70′s a lot of Black Men felt they no longer needed to raise the children they created, leaving the boys not knowing how to be men. The little girls no longer had an example of how to be a wife, but we knew how to be mothers, usually. The message the girls got was “Make sure you are capable of taking care of you and yours”. Independence.

    Black Men are quick to point out that they are not perfect, we don’t expect you to be, neither are we. Just respect, love and not embarrass us in public. If we are into you, you’re good. Work with the ones with some decorum and we’ll work it out.

    Oral sex comments- Not to be taken light. I mean if you were constantly referred to as a “bitch”, would you? It’s being thrown at Black Women specifically, we know this.

    “Up the shitter” comments – Seriously? Nothing’s going up there that you wouldn’t want going up yours. Hedonistic ways are still not acceptable, fuck what you heard. I was raised different, by the women who were there to raise me.

    Respect to the Commission, keep saying what needs to be said and stay on your grown man B.I.

    And to the youngsters shooting darts at sistas, ya’ll only get half a bar “FUCK YA’LL NIGGAZ”!

    • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

      Peace mousie.

      Glad you stopped by. A woman’s perspective is always appreciated and needed.

    • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

      i appreciate a woman’s perspective as well.

      but if i got to be ur nigga, why can’t u be my bitch?

      it’s a classic example of a woman contradicting herself to the tune of somethin that SOUNDS good, but not practical. they say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. well the way to a woman’s heart is thru her EAR. cause yall just wanna hear it beautiful. u don’t really wanna hear it real. i say it REAL. now are u grown enuff to volley with that? or does it have to placed in ur hand neatly?

      i aint comin at u. i’m just sayin. cause i got plenty game. i can make it sound GREAT. but im sick of lyin to yall cause we aint gettin nowhere. especially when yall dont know yall would rather be lied to. and then turn around and ask for complete honesty. but will say in a heartbeat, “there are some things that u just dont say to a woman.” (?)

      im gonna touch on this tomorrow. stop by the site. if u really want a perspective. and b heard. i”ll be there. but dont come thru sayin things like “In the 60’s and 70’s a lot of Black Men felt they no longer needed to raise the children they created, leaving the boys not knowing how to be men.” as if they had a meeting and decided to be unilaterally irresponsible. as a statement, thats just a lil north of absurd, and just up street from ‘what the fuck?”.

      c ya tomorrow

      • mousie

        I’m present… If I act like a “bitch”, I expect to be called one. That has yet to happen, so that speaks on the way I conduct myself. I detest any grown person, male or female, that says something simply because it sounds good. Say what’s real, but make it accurate.

        As far as the statement about the exodus of Black Men in the Black household that took place, I spoke on it because I was there. I don’t regurgitate random things that I’ve heard. By the late 70′s, I knew all of one family that still had a father in their home.

        I’m not placing blame on men, this had an affect on both boys and girls. I don’t believe that it is acknowledged at times the impact that the absence of a father in the home has on a young girl.

        I’m just saying, if you want better women, start with your daughters.

        • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

          it’s still on me, huh? raise my daughter to be the woman tomorrow what u women are not today? what about me? how do i deal with the black women i wanna be with and am startin to realize it just might not be todays reality? cause u sayin my tomorrow starts with my daughter. but i can’t date her. so if i date other than yall, then i gots to hear, “what about black women!” see what i’m sayin?

          u seem very intelligent, Mousie. help me understand. have u thought about it much? did u check out my site today?

        • mousie

          Thanks bboy. Not today, but I have checked it out before. No it’s not on you, a grown woman should correct herself. If something’s going on that doesn’t sit well with you, let her know with respect and tact, if you care to. Anyone, including Black Women, will listen to someone they respect. If not, keep it moving. What’s the point in bashing a group of people because you met one person that was sub par? In my opinion, that slowly makes it more acceptable. This whole image of what “we are today” needs to stop, a lie repeated enough times becomes accepted as truth.

        • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

          i appreciate that. the insight and the visit to my site.

          i feel what ur sayin. but ive dated across many racial, economic and cultural tiers. and i’ve noticed that it’s hard to get ur point across to someone who has their guard up.

          it’s like me n my man’s say… we constantly payin for what somebody else did.

          n respect shoudnt even b an issue. if a person is with somone they dont respect, we have to ask about their own self respect. how can u share anything with someone who has no value?

          i appreciate the discourse. we gone work it out. stop thru more often…

  • Enlightened

    A lot of people are making comments about “Black women” as if they are some homogeneous, identical group.

    I can’t take that shit seriously. There’s too many people in the world.

    Where I’m at,in my eyes, Black men and women are doing fine with each other. Getting married less, yes, but doing fine.

    Still dating each other. I still see only a small number of interracial relationships. This is an entertaining post and all, but who exactly are the Black women who are complaining in this article? Where are they at?

    That’s like saying Black men sell dope. Ok, some do, but what the fuck? I don’t.

  • sumnsumn

    slow clap for the last 2 commenters for making sense. I didn’t think it needed to be said that all black women aren’t the same, but apparently it did.
    And as far as the ‘queen’ comment, i think that whole moniker came up because a majority of black women weren’t being treated well by their counterparts, and were picking up the slack of their male counterparts, and as a result the name came up kinda to show appreciation for the women who weren’t treated as such.
    I can’t speak for all women, but I’m black, not African american, just African. I come from a highly educated 2 parent home, but my mom has always worked a full time job and taken care of the family (compared to my dad, she had help). My dad has always worked but he’s always out doing his thing til all hours. My mom is the model wife, she takes care of her looks, works the figurative double shift, doesn’t have much going for her in terms of a social life for all that she’s had to sacrifice for her fam. But pops is still out at all hours, not appreciating her. I have brothers, the message my brothers get from this, is do what you want, you will never get punished. They’ll prolly end up behaving similarly cuz the man in their lives never suffered any consequences. Me? the message I got, is pretty much that if you are everything for someone else, you’ll likely have nothing for yourself. So i really could never let myself be the woman my mom is. I’m not the woman you guys described either. But i definitely value my independence, in the sense that I want to work towards being able to take care of myself, not that I don’t need/want a partner in my life.
    Basically, I don’t condone blaming black men for our problems, but considering a lot of black men have grown up similarly, it would be nice to know that they appreciate our plight. or have some compassion.
    Or whatever that doesn’t involve taking it up the shitter as a solution.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Beyond the sexual innuendo, y’all do realize that you are saying the same thing right?

    Cutting to the chase these women need up-liftment of character, starting with the mirror. We as men must get involved with this also. There should be a Queen mag, bigging up the women who have been in the game for YEARS, giving dudes jobs and advice just as well. Sylvia Johnson & Sylvia Rhone have made black men rich for years, so let’s stop fooling ourselves. Mama deserves that love too.

    Even though it’s about rap, my drop on Cult’s site is a derivative of this. Where are the wisdoms at? These women now are emulating the harlot, jezebel, and prostitute that is being put in front of them daily. Because these characters come in a form as being successful, the new generation of women feel they have to be like them.

    Anyone remember when Diana Ross won that lifetime achievement award? And she told Bey she didn’t have to be like that(ho-ish) to be successful? Remember that? Also when Aretha Franklin said the same thing earlier? And Tina Turner?

    What did Bey do? Label them as haters. Not any of these other successful women out there checked Bey on that. Scared they won’t make a dollar again.

    Click the name. The women I used as examples never needed to show their bodies to get respect. But give the sisters their respect.

    Just remember our women are a reflection of us.

    • nicholasdelorejo

      ((((IGNORE SECOND COMMENT))))
      @ the past three commentors, you’re all right. Black men shouldn’t just demand black women to demean themselves by being whores. And black men do need to put in an effort to fix this for not only black women but for themselves and community as well. But from my previous comment I was refering to my experience in high school where I saw a lot of the young black women who were likely to be the women Bol mentioned yet weren’t seeking the men that they would desire when they are older.

      Also Sykotic your right, a lot men have damaged the self-esteem of black women through entertainment. But I just think that blaming men and ignoring the women’s responsibility does nothing but distort the relationship among black men and women. Do the Oprah lobbyists bring up the fact that women in rap videos participate in their own free will? Or what about the when MC lyte wanted a “rough neck”, Destiny’s Child wanting a “soldier” who could “carry big things”, or when Salt-n-Pepa had videos with muscle-bound dudes in them> Now I’m not saying that this is a case of double standards because I’ll admit those examples are minor compared to the shit Snoop and Luke have done. But those and other examples lead the men to believe that the women agree with the rapper’s point of view that by being a man with no education or ambition in life is what black women desire. I love Keisha Cole and Monica as singers but thier videos don’t don’t portray the male characters they are in love with are men with their life together. At least not enough to differentiat from the “thuggish” characters in a degrating rap video. Alicia Keys (the homewrecker) does this along with Mary J Blige (whenever she’s not crying over a man).

      My comment was not meant to defend the other commentors on demanding women to be loose with themselves. And it wasn’t meant to defend black men for their shortsommings. I’m just saying that lifting more black men to having the amount of success as their female counterparts will be easier if black women stop allowing themselves to continue the image of their prospective husbands as being the unaschieved, gangstas that rappers project.

      My apologies to all women (or men) who felt my comment was sexist and mean.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    @ the past three commentors, you’re all right. Black men shouldn’t just demand black women to demean themselves by being whores. And black men do need to put in an effort to fix this for not only black women but for themselves and commnity as well. But from my previous comment I was refering to my experience in high school where I saw a lot of the young black women who were likely to be the women Bol mentioned yet weren’t seeking the men that they would desire when they are older.

    Also Sykotic your right, a lot men have damaged the self-esteem of black women through entertainment. But I just think that blaming men and ignoring the women’s responsibility does nothing but distort the relationship among black men and women. Do the Oprah lobbyists bring up the fact that women in rap videos participate in their own free will. Or what about the when MC lyte wanted a “rough neck”, Destiny’s Child wanting a “soldier” who could “carry big things”, or when Salt-n-Pepa had videos with musclebounds dudes on them. Now I’m not saying that this is a case of double standard because I’ll admit those examples are minor compared to the shit Snoop and Luke. But those and other examples lead the men to believe that the women agree with the rapper’s point of view that by being a man with no education or ambition in life is what black women desire. I love Keisha Cole and Monica as singers but thier videos don’t don’t portray the male characters they are in love with are men with their life together. At least not enough to be differentated form the “thuggish” characters in a degrating rap video. Alicia Keys (the homewrecker) does this along with Mary (whenever she’s not crying over a man).

    My comment was not meant to defend the other commentors one demanding women for be loose with themselves. And it wasn’t meant to defend black men for their shortsommings. I’m just saying that lifting more black men to having the amount of success as the female counterparts will be easier if black women stop allowing themselves to continue the image of a prospective husband as the unaschieved, gangsta that rappers project.

    My apologies to all women (or men) who felt my comment was sexist and mean.

    • http://www.bboycult.com $ykotic/Don McCaine

      It’s up to us if we want to break those chains and stop putting our counterparts down. XXL ain’t gonna do it, their sister mag IS KING.

      But us commenting can plant those seeds into the minds of those who are reading. Gotta have faith that these forums create discussions at work, school, home, or phone.

      We create the thread. W/O us the post is dead. Let’s utilize this new tool we have, the comment boards, to talk to each other. Some people don’t have anyone to speak to and have a lot to say.

      Think about it people.

  • caino

    Man, excellent post Bol (as you can tell from all the comments), but to me l’mma break it down like this. both sides male & female gotta have respect for each other before a relationship can work! There has to be support and trust, and love!

    On the whole oral situation, if the girl dont give it to me , l aint giving it to her!

  • Avenger XL

    black people in America cannot be easily lumped into one catagory or another people are complicated. If you notice as I stated earlier marriage is on the decline as a whole and black folks don’t control media so we are not shown the black happy couples or the 50 year married black couples. We are only shown the ghetto or extreme veiw points against marriage and told it is a problem. Also the so called african american community is still struggling for identity and attempting to find a place in this economic system but check the stats 10% unemployment in America equals almost 17% unemployment in the black community most of whom are males. Here are some points I always felt like black people need to address.

    1. Are we a community or just lumped together because we are black with no idea how to work together. I think it is the later because since racism is less openly visable these days we don’t have direct foes to give us a bond. So we have better decide if we want to stand together as a community or fall apart one piece at a time.

    2. Economics we spend to stay fresh but save less than any group. Waist money on dumb ish like cars which lose their value just to stunt. We have to become smarter consumers and possibly manufacturers/business owners that empower our base.

    3. Get a handle on media images.

    4. Stop championing stupid behavior over intellegence.

  • macdatruest

    I always shot down that “black community” bullshit because we are only a community for political and social control reasons, we dont actually control any aspects of our culture or our children’s education, our self image or our leadership.

    If one of us fucks up- “see he makin us all look bad”

    If one of us succeeds- “that nigga lucky”

    But Black people are taught to do the opposite for whites…

    One them fuck up- “damn he a crazy white boy”

    Whites succeed- “damn thats the very image of success. i need to cut my hair and say as well more often”

    As far as black women, they are stuck in a rut because they are still trying to blame black men for their own issues. If we are so bad i say leave us the fuck alone. Go date a Japanese, White, Arab, Or Chinese man and see how you compare to their own race of women as wife material.

    I know I aint tryna marry a majority of black women out here, cause when I want a wife I want just that. Not a “bad bitch” or a “vixen” I want a woman who is going to cook three meals and spend time with her family, budget and not spend, listen and learn and not be afraid to compromise and be herself. Black women too bust tryna live they life according to the popular song of the day, they need to wake up.

    All they bad advice come from other females, other females ruin they relationship, and when there are a few good ones, its other females that make them look bad or try to drag them down.

    It that Eve syndrome. bitch lived in PARADISE, but soon as somebody put a lil rumor in her ear that she was missing something, here she go breakin rules. Now Adam instead of lettin his nuts hang and screamin on that ho wanted to “impress” the first female. When he bit that apple and they lost they crib and it all broke bad- Eve blamed Adam of course. Females will never take responsibility. Trust me it’s always somebody else’s fault.

  • C. Hop

    the kardashian broads are straight tramps with paper. i think black women get caught up in the ‘put a ring on it’ and ‘gotta have a baller’ syndrome. talking shit and being non supportive is an instant turnoff. we need to have our women emulating Sanaa Lathan and Taraji Henson rather than Trina and Foxy. most of these women would walk away from a decent man wanting them.

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  • ARKANSAS—SOUTH IN YA MOUTH

    Mainnnn, I tell yall the damn truth. yeah, like somebody said on an earlier post! “It should have been a black video hoe on the front cover!” Why? cause it pisses player off along with the black women! why? because who is the biggest supporter of the magazine? blacks? find a black woman on, hum let me make up a Spanish sounding magazine EL CASA VERDE lol a green house but never the less Spanish I cant speak that shit! but bet you will never ever never find a black woman on the cover of any of they ish! We compromise to damn much with things other races dont ever dream of deliberating about! I said that to say this. black women get your minds correct, this aint not damn no Tyler Perry movie, and niggaz this aint no rap song. no pimping, drug selling or shooting cats. THIS SHITS REALITY NO CHILDS PLAY OR FAIRY TALE. the sooner the pain begins the quicker the healing starts! basicly we as black people are so miseducated by European thinking and culture, that if i’m incorrect then we would not even be having these so called enlightened conversations!

  • bronx

    the last poster is so right.blacks r always trying to help and include other ‘people of color’ cuz they ‘share our struggles’. white people and especially hispanics dont do this. unlike us hispanics always stick together in every way and whites only will include a token black every now and then