An endless cycle

I think I speak for all men when I say that, regardless of how much money a woman has, if she cold cocked me in public, that would be the end of our relationship.

I’d be tempted to knock her lights out – not because I’m the kind of guy that goes around beating up women, but due to simple dutch door action. My hand might slip. Then I’d be in jail for hitting her, when the truth of the matter is that she hit me, and I accidentally hit her back, as a matter of reflex. I’m sure it’s happened a million times…

Lately, there’s been a minor epidemic of domestic violence incidents in which a woman attacked a man, if not enough of them to warrant a trend piece in the New York Times. The two I can think of off the top of my head are the one where Chris Henry’s fiance threw him from the pickup truck she was driving and left him with his brains spilling out in the street, and the one where Mary J. Blige’s husband let her chin check him at her album release party.

I was at Necole Bitchie the other day, and I saw a picture of the two of them sitting courtside at a basketball game, all hugged up as if nothing happened. The picture itself was probably a plant, just like that picture of Kanye West and Amber Rose feeding the homeless. If Kanye West really felt for the homeless, he’d rent Amber Rose out to them for a few hours, or at least get them some assistance from the same agency where he found her. As I recall, there was also a video at Necole Bitchie of Chris Henry’s fiance trying to cop a plea, talking about how she wasn’t trying to drive too fast, because she knew he was in the back of the truck. The fact that she had to issue such a statement lets me know she did that shit on purpose. Love means never having to explain why you threw someone from a moving vehicle.

Mary J. Blige’s husband might be hamstrung, in that he doesn’t have very much money. He could drop Mary J. Blige like a bad habit, but it’s not like a court is gonna order her to cut him a check each month, just because she abused him. As fucked up as the court system is in this country, he might end up having to pay her money. Word on the street is that she caught him checking out a waitress. So she might try to argue that, technically, he committed an offense against her first, and she was responding to that, because she got a little bit caught up in the moment. Even though a) staring at another woman’s ass is a minor enough offense that it probably shouldn’t be admissible in a court of law; what’s next, are they gonna outlaw watching attractive women on TV? and b) we don’t know why exactly he was staring at that woman’s ass. She could have been wearing pink, which draws. That’s basic optometry.

If a woman stole me in the jaw, and no one was around to see it, and she had a shedload of money and I didn’t, I can’t say for certain that that would be the end of our relationship. Lord knows I’ve done my share of things that I’m not proud of, because I was having financial difficulties. For the better part of a year, I subsisted on a steady diet of White Castle, where I worked, and whatever I could steal from my parents’ refrigerator. If only I’d been lucky enough to have been with a rich girl who swung on me on occasion. It’s not like she could have done that much damage. I’m roughly the size of four women. A broad could fuck around and hurt herself trying to beat me up.

As long as no one found out. When a woman hits a man, and it’s caught on video for posterity, it’s a way different crime from if she just hit him in the comfort of their home. It’s a concept similar to how beating the crap out of a teh ghey guy for trying to cruise you in a bar is considered a crime against the entire teh ghey community. Because it makes them that much more reticent to make unwanted sexual advances to obviously straight men. Er, bad example. But you catch my drift. (Nullus.) Mary J. Blige’s husband’s chin might not have been bruised in the least bit, but now everyone knows he gives her free reign to beat up on him, because he’s not man enough to be in a relationship with a woman who respects. He’s lucky he doesn’t have to go to work, where his boss might see that shit. He’d never get a raise. Look at what happened to Charles Hamilton, His career has been in decline since the moment he got clocked.

Speaking of which, this incident with Mary J. Blige and her husband might actually shed some light on what happened to Charles Hamilton. As we learned back when the Sonic snuff footage surfaced (see what I did there?), that girl who hit him is Mary J. Blige’s stepdaughter. The plot thickens! I guess it’s true what they say about people who grew up in abusive households repeating that same behavior in their adult lives. Brianna, or whatever her name is, must have grown up watching Mary J. Blige beat the shit out of her father. Then when it came time for her to start a family of her own, she went out and found a pusillanimous man (my bad, Charles) who wouldn’t mind her occasionally going upside his head. In that sense, it’s probably for the best that he talked her into getting that abortion. It’s time for that cycle to come to an end.

  • Worley

    “Sonic snuff footage.” Genius.

    Old dude Kendu should take Mary to court. See what happens. It would be a good time to open the conversation about women hitting men, getting the sh*t beat out of them and then the dude goes to jail.

  • sealsaa

    The worst part about him getting slapped by her in public is that HE probably apologized to HER afterward. I could never look my sons in the eye after some shit like that. I just wouldn’t feel like a man anymore.

    *Irony* “Kendu” sounds like an ultimate fighter’s name.

  • jabbawoc

    “we don’t know why exactly he was staring at that woman’s ass. She could have been wearing pink, which draws. That’s basic optometry.”

    Hillarious!

  • macdatruest

    Black Women can do, say live and react however they want, because somehow it’s a black men’s fault and if society offered them a card similar to the race card called the “bum nigga” card they would play it everytime. On that note…. Million Man March to Brazil!!!!!

    • DetroitDraper

      Im with you on that million man march to Brazil lol. But on a serious note I say the best thing you could possibly do is to just leave the woman without hitting her….guaranteed she’l BEG you back. Its up to you to decide if the pussy’s worth the beatings after that

      MAYN HOL’UP

  • BigJon

    All I can think of when I hear Charles Hamilton’s name, is him getting rocked in the face by that lady(?), and a pink Sonic the Hedge-Hog. Lights out on his career..

  • jay juggernaut

    as much as i love me some mjb, she lost cool points on that one because to me, it seemed like she trying to punk him in public because she knew he wouldnt dare hit her back, she wouldve been platinum in two days, lol plus we dont know if ol kendu handled that when he got home.

  • JAY STONE

    . If only I’d been lucky enough to have been with a rich girl who swung on me on occasion. It’s not like she could have done that much damage. I’m roughly the size of four women. A broad could fuck around and hurt herself trying to beat me up.
    ——————————–
    thats the realist shit

  • http://xxl All Dae

    i dislike it that a woman can provoke a man to anger and he’d go to jail if he defended himself to hard. there should be stiffer punishment for woman on hitting and provoking arguments to violence, it’ll calm down. a main reason men won’t hit back is cause he’ll be held in a box until shits fiqured out while she free playing the victim.

  • Gift

    This shit is not trendy. Domestic violence is bullshit. I know too many niggas that went down behind this kind of shit. Now if Kendu would have slapped her ass back, then he would have been wrong. When it comes to relationships, folks need to keep their hands to themselves.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    “In that sense, it’s probably for the best that he talked her into getting that abortion. It’s time for that cycle to come to an end.”
    ^^you know your wrong for that. But. That statement was pure gold! LOL

    Dude from yesterday was right (I can’t remember who said it) Bol is on fire.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Mary probably went & bought dude a car the next day, & a watch to match. To which he said, “thanks baby,” & continued carrying her bags.

    Nah, jokes aside, believe that wasn’t the first time something like that happened. You don’t have a baby with one of the craziest cats in Jodeci, admit to smoking crack over lovely melodies, & just happen to put hands on your guy for the first time @ a party. Mary’s always struck me as a tad bit “butch”; I wouldn’t be surprised if she has the same “I pay, so I own you” mentality as some rich & powerful dudes out there.

    If Kendu has her name tattooed anywhere on his body, we already know what time it is.

    Then again, dude probably doesn’t even give a shit what anybody thinks. That little jaw tap fails in comparison to the fact that he’s got it made. He may be a punk, but he ain’t a stupid one.

  • El Tico Loco

    After that love tap I would look at my bank balance and it will all get better. You can call me Steadman Federline, I got girl cousins that will keep my hands clean.

    • AZ40

      True dat and I got a sister who wouldn’t play that shit, that’s why niggas got keep a thoro female relative around for just such cases

    • eesco

      steadman federline LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! 2 of the greatest examples of a man finally coming up the way these celeb/athelete chasing hooers do. BOOSH!!

  • that nigga

    The two I can think of off the top of my head are the one where Chris Henry’s fiance threw him from the pickup truck she was driving and left him with his brains spilling out in the street, and the one where Mary J. Blige’s husband let her chin check him at her album release party.
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    And dont forget Chris Brown, Rhianna isnt off the hook in my book just cuz he spased cuz he was tired of that bitch hittin’ him. Everybody threw him under the bus but theres 3 sides to each story. His, hers and the truth.
    Bitches stay puttin they hands on a nigga til they get they shit split and its the end of the world for us. How long do we have to stand there and bob an weave before we are allowed to hook and jab? There should be some sort of law bout that.

    • BIGNAT

      i never hit a women but i have had to grab a couple of them and shake they ass. don’t swing then you have no defense when she tells the story to other people. if you at least just grabbed her and hold her arms down. shake her ass and tell her to stop because you not trying to fight her. or just leave the space women would say you should never hit them. them bitches need to learn they should keep they hands to themselves.

  • Brooklyn

    this shit ain’t surprising, mary got that “i ain’t gonna be a victim no more” mantra. isn’t one of her new singles called “stronger”? she probably figured that after years of getting her ass kicked by k-ci and case, it was time for her to find a nigga that was soft enough for her to yoke up. she probably drags that motherfucker through their crib, stomps him out, and then says “nigga, you ain’t shit without me, believe that…” as she throws a hundred dollar bill at him to sop his blood up. slaps him around and buys him a new pair of jordans to make up for the pain.

    of course there is a double standard, if she’d been checking some nigga out, and he’d a backhanded her, oprah, maya angelou, and tyra banks woulda led a mob armed with torches and pitchforks to that nigga’s crib and would have torn him to pieces. but oh, she hit him, so that makes it ok. ever since i was a kid, they’d told me that boys “can’t” hit girls, as if when it comes to slapping a bitch our hands suddenly become paralyzed. yet, a girl was never chastised for hitting a boy. in fact, the girls would hit niggas right in front of the teachers, teachers would peep it, but wouldn’t say shit until the boy hit the girl back. fuck that bullshit, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, hit me and i’ll hit you back.

  • BIGNAT

    man bol i thought you was finally going do a light hearted post then at the end you couldn’t help yourself.
    ” it’s probably for the best that he talked her into getting that abortion. It’s time for that cycle to come to an end.”

  • Chilly Willy

    “Love means never having to explain why you threw someone from a moving vehicle.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    If you ain’t neva contemplated homicide, you ain’t been in love, word to Chris Rock. With that being said, acting out is something else.

    I’m with you with the basic optometry, Bol. That’s the main basis for every female clothing design and the way they wear them. See that green tight top, and those black pants, and most importantly, that golden hoodrat bullshit written on it just where the cans are ? No, it’s not meant for you to read it, it’s for you to stare at the cans so she can dismiss your basic optometric ass and sonic you with the quickness, prompting you to shut up, God forbid she ask a check. I ain’t mad, though. That’s the game, so I play.

    Being a black man, I found myself in the PT Cruiser rental (watup, $yk!)business once in a while, and one of them, who happened to have extra-milky skin, was of the crazy, fightin for fun, ferret on amphetamin variety. You always have to fight her off, and I used to grab her by the wrists when she got too heated (not mad, happy even, but heated happy). So it left marks. I got phone calls from her employer, who knew her family, saying that if she keep comin at work with those bruises on, he’ll call the police.

    The real question here, people, is what are the lines women, not only black but any women, shouldn’t cross for society to hold them equally responsible for the violence happening in the couple. When RiRi got browned, you heard people say Chris is a monster. For this, you hear: “Well, he looked at another girl”. No herp rumor, no Maury, no fuckin around, just plain ole looking. What’s wrong in this picture? That’s the first question. After that, how could we, as a society, amend the laws so sonic’d niggas can federline the shit outta those delicious beasts, if needed (don’t front, crazy broads make up for it with serious bed skills).

    • foolio_iglesias

      ‘See that green tight top, and those black pants, and most importantly, that golden hoodrat bullshit written on it just where the cans are ?’
      Now THAT’s some observant shit!No matter what the label,the style remains the same!Good call, mane!

  • http://www.shabooty.com shabooty

    that last paragraph killed me

  • John Cochran

    It’s 2010 my niggas the tables have turned. It aint a man’s world no more. These bitches runnin rampid. He should’ve hit her ass back just to prove a piont. Shit, it’s on record that she hit him first. I can’t take a woman tryin to son me, especially in public. Catch 22, if you hit her you’re wrong. If you walk away you look like a pussy.

  • Caino

    2010 just started and already Bol got this blog shit on Lock!!

    That last paragraph had me in stitches!

    ps

    Violence leads to more Violence (word to Israel)

  • nicholasdelorejo

    I know I’m going to get shitted on for this but I kinda understand Mary for doing this to ole boy. Do any of ya’ll remember the woman who wrote “How Stella Got her Groove Back,” Terry McMillan. She was once married to some young, broke, light-skinned teh ghey dude from Jamaca. She brought his ass to the US, probably bought him a all the shit a gigalo would desire until she caght dude with another man’s dick in his ass. Shit Eric Benet was bummed R&B singer and had Halle Berry while she was at the height of her career. And what did he do? Fucked with other bitches even when he had his arms around a woman who gets voted at the top of all “hottest women in the world” lists. The sad thing is that this lead Halle to say “fuck being with a black man,” leaving the all of us ugly brothas that would have been happy enough to have just seen her get cornholed by Billie Bob like Benet did. Mary was prabably afraid she would have found Kendu with in the bed of her million dollar house with another woman or worse a man.

    Now I’m not saying that Kendu would’ve fucked around on her after looking at that waitress’ ass. But its a known rule that whenever a broke ass mutha fucka (be it male or female) hooks up with someone with money, as far as your frame of mind works, pussy or dick does not exist anywhere but on your spouse. I’ve always said that if any man were to were to marry Oprah (or maybe a woman) and dude didn’t have anything close to here wealth, dude would have to close their eyes whenever a fine chick was anywhere even if she was on the cover of a magazine.

    I’ll admit, bitch slapping a man in public may not have been the best response from the Queen of Hip-Hop and Soul. But Mary probably felt it was better to be seen as an abusive black woman to her husband than to be laughted at later as a dumb broad that gave a no-cent having nigga all the money he ever wanted to spend on another bitch. Like how Bobby Brown did with his allowance from Whitney.