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5 Reasons Jay-Z is Not in League With the Illuminati

I honestly tried to ignore this for as long as possible. Really, I did but now that we’re getting to the point where people are not simply just asking Jay-Z how he feels about the craze, but going back and making him clarify his statements because he “never outright denied the affiliation,” it seems we’ve gone a little overboard. Now, don’t get me wrong, more than “a little overboard” is always nice when the necessity is there, as Killer Mike so eloquently pointed out in a blog a couple of weeks ago, but c’mon son? Jay-Z being a part of the Illuminati (or not) is so trivial to my existence (and yours) that I just can’t fathom how so many people have been taken by this. I for one am not a subscriber to the craze, and for good reason:

1. Because circular logic annoys the hell out of me.

A friend emailed me a video “dissecting” Rihanna’s “Umbrella” video. They truly hyped it up to me like the video was powerful, deep, and a little scary. All I found was a bunch of circular logic in which the narrator told me what to see instead of allowing me to see it. And even still I didn’t see half the stuff he was pointing out anyway.

(The shoulder blades part? Dude, that’s still just a shadow and all the stuff he said about the muscles and stuff not being possible to be contorted like that is just wrong because well… It’s just a shadow! And if you see anything else it’s because you’re blindly trusting the narrator. I barely trust CNN, how could I ever trust an unsourced mystery man on YouTube).

2. Because if I were the Illuminati I’d use YouTube as a brainwashing tool.

I for one am not trying to get brainwashed. I’ll admit I’ve seen a few videos (just enough to amuse/irritate me) but after I was convinced by those first few, that all this Illuminati talk was just that—talk—I stopped watching on the off chance that if any of this is even remotely true, I’m sure YouTube would be the first place the Illuminati would go to engage the masses.

“Hmmm, I’ve been sitting here watching these YouTube videos all day and now I have the sudden urge to worship the devil.”

3. Because there’s no way a Black man would be a part of the Illuminati.

Have you ever taken a course U.S. history? The Illuminati have been around since its inception and I’m pretty sure its founders didn’t take too kindly to “colored folks” and even though we’ve progressed in leaps and bounds since then I’m pretty sure something as large, as powerful, as secret and as elite as the Illuminati still isn’t allowing “coloreds”—especially not Shawn Carter from Bed-Stuy of all people.

If anything Jay’s a pawn of the Illuminati and if I had the energy to be analyzing the Illuminati’s pawns I’d probably go after who I suspect their biggest might be—but he’s sitting over at the White House largely above suspicion.*

4. Because there are far too many, you know, actually important things that need to be worried about.

You know, like North Korea and why they keep ignoring the U.S.’ requests to stop testing rockets and shit.

5. Because even if he is one and comes out and says it, is anyone actually going to do anything about it?

We let R. Kelly (allegedly) sleep with little girls, what’s it matter if Jay-Z is caught with traces of the blood offering on his hands? If Jay came out with an album next year titled Illuminnati Forever and made songs only about his affiliation, the vast majority of y’all would still buy it or at least download it and there’s a few of you who would start looking into this Illuminati thing for yourselves.

Forget next year, where’s the vid that uncovers not simply the illusory lyrics in Jay’s music but the subliminal messages in his body of work? I wanna see what people do if they start believing the Illuminati is brainwashing people through Jay, Bey, and Rih Rih’s lyrics. I’m betting nothing. No one’s turning their backs on Jay-Z. Sad but true.

So forgive me if I’m simply off the Illuminati theories. Maybe I’m right or perhaps I’m just a skeptic (one of the Illuminati favorites because we throw people off their evil trail). Either way, Illuminati theories aren’t getting any (more) of my energy… Well unless we go back and start dissecting what Tupac was studying and trying to tell us before he died, in that case I’m all in! —Brooklyne Gipson, one of the biggest Tupac “Stans” you’ll ever meet

*I’m not getting at our beloved President, I’m just (excuse the pun) playing Devil’s Advocate. If the Illuminati need a powerful Black man with widespread appeal to play Pied Piper to the masses; who else but Barack?

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