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Nas on Fitting the Profile

Propers to the homie DJ All Day for the alley-oop on Nas’ response to having “beaten” his Georgia DUI.

The best part of the video is the paparazzo quoting “Take It in Blood”, which absolutely goes on my personal “Best of Nas” CD compilation. I was hoping he’d take it all the way to “shittin like gin and prune juice.” That song is like 5 minutes of rap perfection. I charge you to make an 80-minute “best of” collection and not include that song. But, I digress. The pap nigga milked Nas’ prostate good and got him to make the money shot jackhole comment. No nullus.

“You know what it is. Profiling, man. But you can’t stop a good man from shining.”

-Nas, TMZ

I have no idea what kind of person Nas is. Neither that nor his musical abilities are in question here. I say this for the people who respond to a charge of personal accountability with, “but he’s the GOAT! Stop hatten!” As I alluded to in the previous Nas DUI blog, having a few classic records under your belt have nothing to do with killing someone because there’s a drunk or high foolhardy nigga under your seatbelt.

I don’t give two shits if his tests came back negative. People pass drug tests all the time with shit in their systems. They take care of your kids. They prepare your food. They govern your area. That doesn’t make the shit okay. I’m only concerned with Nas’ having admitted to smoking up before driving. If “profiling” is stopping mawfuckas when they’re swerving on the road late at night, then I’m with that shit. Call it what you want. Besides, if it were really on some New Jersey state trooper shit and them polices really wanted to do him in, he’d know. They really know how to stick it to a nigga in those southern crime and punishment states. They wouldn’t have given him such an easy go of things when he failed the initial roadside sobriety test if they really wanted him.

Officers were probably like, “Who is this? This that Naz? Mayn, this ain’t no catch. We’re waiting for DMX to roll back through this sum’bitch.”

Who the hell knows why Nas’ substance test came back positive. Maybe he smokes so much weed that his body produces certain testable antigens when he DOESN’T have that One Day At a Time in his system. Aspiring above-the-law rapsters, take note. Fucking with that Valerie Bertinelli very well may go undetected when it’s laced with a little Mackenzie Phillips. But, I wouldn’t risk it.

[Blogger’s Note: I used to get it from Schneider.]

We can’t sit idly by while hypehead niggas like Nas misplay our race cards. There are only 13 spades in a deck, two jokers and one deuce of diamonds. There’s no need to cut early clubs and diamonds with face cards, my nigga.

[Blogger’s Note: Ricky or Tameka and I would fuck up any two niggas on earth in spades. They need to have that shit on ESPN like they do the poker. I’d be a superstar. Fuck a rap blog.]

Where was I? Oh, right. Nobody gives a fuck about Nas’ shining. He can shine all he wants, provided he can afford to in a little while. Speaking of which—while I think some of these child support judgments are ridiculous—I bet he feels the same way about throwing down for his seeds and other basic responsibilities. “Fuck. They want me to not be driving around zooted… take care of my kids and shit. They can’t stand to see a nigga shinin’.” I mean, what kind of shit is that?

Questions? Comments? Requests? Chillin on a V.I. with Mumia?

That’s to say, shining can only occur after basic responsibilities have been met. Cain’t shine if you haven’t handled bidness. I mean… you can Shyne, but you can’t shine.

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