My Christmas Rap Wish List

Past couple of days have been rough for a blogger. One of my mentors is having a rough time in his year long fight against cancer. That shit is not a joke. Seeing the prospects of losing one of your loved ones is a rough thing. Still, you cats here already let me know you don’t give an eff about what goes down in my personal life. That’s more along the lines of what I do at the Daily Math. Don’t worry yo, I might be distracted by some things going down in my life, but Combat Jack always stays staying focused.

Being that this is the season to be jolly, it’s time to get into the mood. Any of you’s in the mood yet? What a year it’s been. In my opinion, it’s been a great year for rap music. Especially since you can’t pay cats to buy records no more. There was more joints that dropped this year that I was interested in hearing than I’ve been in a long time. And I’ve been listening to rap for a long time. Still, there’s always room for improvement. You might know about a post I dropped recently over at my site, about something I wanted for Christmas, a full blown Jay-Z/50 Cent beef. I’m kinda off that now though. Cause it doesn’t look like that might ever happen. Cause Jay-Z thinks he’s Jesus Christ. Still, I’ve got interviews like this to keep me entertained.

I went ahead and jotted down some other things I wanted on my Rap Christmas wish list. Just because I’ve been a good cat for most of 2009. Like staying on top of my A game kinda good. Who knows, Santa might have been paying attention and might bless me by dropping a few of these requests down my chimney. [||]. Maybe there’s some things on my list that you might be wishing for too.

1. No More Celebrity Fragrances – Diddy, 5O, Jay-Z, Ursher, Cam’ron, wtf? Shits kinda getting outta hand when every Tom, Dick and rapper start pushing the smell goods. I’m not against entertainers opening their market up, this is America, still overkill is never a good thing. Imagine what kinda problems Gucci Mane’ll have if he ever tries to push bottles. And trust that the minute cats like Plies and Titty Boi drop scents, I might have to go back to rocking pachouli scented oils like my head wrapped incense burning brethren. Anyone giving me a bottle of “Power” this Christmas might end up getting said bottle cracked up against they foreheads.

2. More [||] on Paper, less Pause and No Homo – A few years back, the term “no homo” was all the rage whenever a questionable act or a thought provoking phrase illiciting gay related responses in humorous tones was uttered. “No Homo” was funny, but was an obvious affront to members of the homosexual community. Moving for a more PC and less offensive word, we opted for the more clever “Pause”. Pause is slick, everyone gets it, even the casual sportscaster on tv might drop it whenever Spike Lee spazzes out about how much he likes Dick. [||]. There’s no way around the spoken use of Pause, but a couple of years ago, an ingenious blogger proposed that the Hip Hop nation advance with the times. Suggesting we move to the symbol [||], like how said symbol stands for pause on any household audio visual device, [||] is clean, sleek, efficient, universal. Easy. less characters. Some folk might not appreciate [||] as a stocking stuffer, [||] but I’m ready to see more [||] for Christmas.

3. No More Rap/ Sanga/ Athelete Incarcerations – Is there a demographic that exists that stays getting arrested more than Black entertainers? I mean other than Black men. We stay getting locked up by the boat loads. These past few years have seen the rate of our most loved and admired getting locked up jump at alarming rates. Like an epidemic even.  What part of entertainment is that? I’m sure at some point, ALL of us have rode dirty. We get stopped by 5-0 for whatever, but you can best be sure we don’t stay getting arrested the way our most famous do. Even our most beloved Internet Celebrity Dallas Penn stays having his brushes with Johnny Law. Shows you how big time he’s become. Hollywood even. Anyways, entertainers treat getting locked up like that’s some kind of fly. All that money, all them lawyers and accountants and weed carriers and ni@@as still end up doing mad time. It don’t make no types of sense. Somehow I don’t think it’s good for the artform, nor do I think it’s a good example to set for the lil dun dunns, the kids that look up to our entertainers like they was role models or something. Being locked up with a buncha menses is never cool. And if some of ya’ll feel it’s some kind of conspiracy against successful Black personalities, well all the more reason to stay as clean as possible, no?  For real, let’s cut that shit out. Touchers like Pleasure P need to be locked up with the quickness though. I got kids.

4. Dead All That Lil’ This and Yung That – This has already been covered several times. I’ma let Masta Ace and Edo G tell it:

5. At Least One Dope Female Emcee – Where the eff is the female emcees at? Not that I was ever a true fan of female rappers, I’m rap chauvinistic like that. Still, mad chicks had me respecting their spit game throughout the history of this rap thing. Female rappers worked damned hard to leave a legacy of queen spit kickers, from Latifah and MC Lyte, to the Salt -N- Pepa’s and the Yo Yo’s. Even sex kittens Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown was able to  bang with the best of em whilst at the same time selling sex. Regardless of whether Big or Jay wrote their raps. They were still good. I know the industry has regressed to the point that a kewpie doll like Nicky Minaj is being passed as that next one. Come on son. As far as I’m concerned, the best chick spitter out today stays being Jean Grae, but for some reason or another (Madd Rapper voice) “they, they, they just not recognizing.”  I love this rap shit to death, but trust things start looking suspect when there’s no effin females in the game. No respectable ones that a blogger could at least have a secret rap crush on. Like how I used to have a major crush for Sweet Tee. Now that was one purty ass non masculine looking female rapper. The North Pole needs to come up off them chick rappers for 2010.



6. One More Dope Mos Def Album –
Like I said on my siteever since he dropped the classic “Black On Both Sides” album way back when, dude has refused to deliver a full album containing nothing but that top shelf spittage he’s more than capable of easily hock tooing.” I know how some of ya’ll nut [||] at the mention of “The Ecstatic”. Meh. Too much sanging, not enough rap from that rapper cat for this rapper fan. I’m old school like that. Plus partial to Brooklyn  emcees, so maybe I’m being way to critical of Flaco. I’m a patient dude too, so much so that I’m still hoping that Santa might could want to sprinkle some Elf dust in the studio so that Dante’s next album is nothing less than him rapping the way he raps best. Pure fires. All I’m asking for is one more classic. Cause I know he has it in him.

7. More Blog Beefs – With top rappers now refusing to go head to head on wax, [||] the next best entertaining thing on the nets has been blog beefs. It’s like the new white meat. From Necole Bitchie vs. Sandra Rose, to me vs. Peter Rosenberg to Byron Crawford vs. Nah Right, Rap Radar, Peter Rosenberg and …. the rest of the blogosphere, 2009 saw a much welcomed rise in blog beefs. Lets be real, the people want blood. Drives ‘em nutso. I’m all about giving the people what they want. Any of you bloggers out there want it?

8. Less E-Thuggery – Blog beef is healthy, e-thuggery is corny. Seems like the more we rely on communicating via the net, the bolder some cats get, hiding behind them keyboards. So many fake lames seem so comfortable making all types of threats of bringing heat and bodily harm to so and so. Yeah right. Most cats making them threats is making them from their schools’ library, or from they mommas house. Most them cats talking that kakaa these days ain’t never even had a fight in their life, other than the ones they had on X-box and Playstation. That shit is real funny since the real goonish killer type cats I know don’t even know how to use computers. So yeah, I’m hoping that I get less e-thuggery this Kwanzaa.

9. No more BET Awards show of any types – If we don’t know by now that BET and “good award show” don’t go together, then we’re most def riding strong in the back of the short bus. Them shows stay being a bastion of Black ig’nance, televised for all the world to see. Effin disgrace how we’re playing type to the media.

Actually, I’m lying about this one. Every BET Award show I’ve ever seen has been nothing but straight comedy. With the advent of Twitter, the jokes keep on coming. Shits gotten so bad funny that maybe we need a gang’a more BET Award shows, like one for every effin day of the week. BET’s Soul Wednesday’s Award would be guaranteed shits and giggles.

10. No Rappers/ Sangas/ Atheletes Getting Shot, Stabbed Up, Robbed and Kilt – I’m lighting the Menorah for this one. This whole shebang is about sex drugs and rock and roll. Blood shed murder kill, not so much. If we want tragedy and all that heartbreaking drama, stay the eff in the hoods and quit winning to fail. I may not like all of yous, but I do respect ya’ll. All of our lives is something that needs to be honored and protected with dignity. Death ain’t never entertaining. This holiday season, I’m praying Black Santa keeps each and every one of us way the eff outta harm’s way.

BONUS GIFT: Less Hating On Skinny Jeans and Ass Saggers – Just cause I don’t eff with sagging and cats rocking skinny jeans (except for them Ninjasonik cats) don’t mean I gotta hate on those that do. Hating on what other folk do is so tired, so much so that I’m hoping fat boy’s reindeer carry that hating shit the fuck outta here. We need to be off that. If these fools wanna squeeze the life bloods outta they knuttsacks and parade they candy asses around the globe like it was fashion day on Mo Mountain, then let ‘em. [||]. Instead of focusing on what they do, there’s bigger shit out there for us to focus on, like global warming, like the economy and how certain resumes ain’t worth the paper it’s printed on, and like us all making sure rappers keep spitting ‘moore hot fiyah for 2010. So for Christmas, let’s leave them yung’uns be.

  • http://tehlush.blogspot.com dronkmunk

    I like Masta Ace. (||)

  • Brooklyn

    co-sign #9, in fact, why don’t we do away with bet all together? and that ninjasonik song goes hard [//]

  • http://www.recruitzero.com/News RecruitZero

    Good list. The game definitely needs a change in 2010. Hopefully for the better

  • sealsaa

    Less Gucci Mane.

    Make that Dope Mos Def album a BlackStar album.

    More Nas mixtapes(Nigger Tape=Fire)

  • Josh

    Sucka MCs ya better watch out
    All MCs, better watch out
    Dana Dane is coming……to town

  • sealsaa

    ” No more BET Awards show of any types ”

    LOL, C’mon Jack.

    That Em/Mos/Black Thought Cypher Sounds>>> The entire MTV awards. If anything, whoever the renegade smart person was at BET that came up with that should be running next year’s show.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Wow. I must be dropping some “sensitive” words, because my comment(s) will not go through. Oh well.

    CJ, you stay ready for blogger beef. Haven’t you figured out they don’t want it with “The Cafe Latte Bodier”?

    Let me see if I can’t shorten my list. Ain’t the same without explanation but eff it…

    Less Tweeting

    Less unnecessary beef

    Bring back entertaining, concept-driven videos

    Bury the word “hate”, in all it’s forms

    Less Mixtapes

    More quality albums

    Stop announcing record releases, unless the date is secured.

    No more ‘Detox’ talk from anyone involved. Put up or shut up

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    Wish List

    -Lupe Fiasco’s “Classic Album”
    -Canibus & Eminem squashing beef
    -West Coast Hip-Hop Ressurection
    -Dope Female Emcees
    -Less Mixtapes
    -Mo’ Dope Albums
    -Less off the dome & mo lyrical writing
    -Nas/Az/Cormega & Nature (Super-Group Album)
    -Less name-dropping on Game’s Album
    -Ludacris “Classic Album”

  • tensensi

    Global warming?!?! Good god?!?! Didn’t you read the emails and source code that leaked from the CRU?????

  • NotoriousAGC

    -West Coast hip hop resurrection
    -A New hip hop super=group(no aouth rappers in it) somethin like a new WU
    -less fake blood rappers from weird cities like NY,Lousiana etc
    -no more ringtone rappers
    -some good HIPHOP beef(fuck that no more beef shit)
    -Jay-z admits hes a homosexual and he had sex with that one guy he was “livin” with
    -All my jay-z cd’s they stole from me the past years
    -2pac says FUCK IT and starts makin rap videos like nothing happened
    -no more ugly-faced eye candy bitches

  • caino

    LOL at the 2Pac line ^^ !!

    Just some more dope albums (c’mon Lupe), and less mixtapes, l have drowned in a sea of wack mixtapes this year!!

    quality over quantity

  • Jhon da Analyst

    For lyricism to be better promoted by major labels. It is a wish right?

  • Jhon da Analyst

    More intelligent MC’s. More ppl who majored in english to start rapping. For real……

  • Lawrence of Flatbush

    Jean Grae stays losing and complaining too much, even since her first album. I like her but she’s never been all that.

    SHAWNNA >>>>>>>>>> all other female mcs in 2009.

    If the collab with Luda really happens, it should be great, and hilarious.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I can’t ride with you on #2, Jack.

    I’m hijacking that list and in place of a faggot ass [II] symbol, I’m going to wish that we could drop that whole “No Homo” shit, and all of its’ many iterations, off the faces of these blogs I read. You could be writing the most intelligent, thought-provoking, typed-response-inducing shit I’ve ever read, and then you drop a [II] in there like you assume the reader is dense enough to assume you’re a faggot because you wrote “I like NaS,” or “That Clipse shit bangs.”

    Quit jocking other bloggers that jock other rappers. You want blog beef, well be a pioneer about that shit and call “[II]” the symbol for the new age closet homophobic Hip Hop faggot. I’d dead it myself, but I don’t even use that term on the reg, so I’m calling on everyone else to do that shit.

    For real, if you have to stamp that shit on every thing you write, then maybe you should switch up the verbage. If muthafuckas would stop typing shit like “That Kimbo Price mixtape cums heavy like the cocksauce I bust when I ain’t fucked in two weeks,” then there would be no need for a simpltonesque [II] afterward. And if Mos Def gets your dick hard for-real for-real…just keep that shit to yourself and say you respect his mind or his acting or some shit.

    I’m just saying…that shit’s mad played out these days. Imagine having real talk with a grown ass man with kids and he’s interrupting every other thought with a “Pause” and a giggle. Like I said, it don’t show how deep your are, but how dense you are.

    No shots.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks

      Damn, Herbz-

      You’re right. Very, very right. The ironic shit about the “no homo” phenomenon is that dudes seriously sit around purposely thinking up gay sex jokes just so they can say no homo. Retarded shit.

  • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks

    “ever since he dropped the classic “Black On Both Sides” album way back when, dude has refused to deliver a full album containing nothing but that top shelf spittage he’s more than capable of easily hock tooing.”

    ^Best thing you’ve said in your nascent tenure at XXL. And word to sealsaa on the blackstar tip. I’d be happy with any dope mos shit, talib-assisted or otherwise.

    Also, word to your comment about female emcees. Jean Grae is sick, and that shit Empress Stahhr spit on Doom’s “Still Dope” is fire.

    Besides that, my wish list is:

    -Bay Area getting its propers
    -50 Cent going the eff away
    -Cann Ox reuniting
    -Game getting off his own hype and releasing something that doesn’t sound recycled from ’93
    -People recognizing underground cats like Ninjasonik, as well as more sampling from the likes of Santigold and M.I.A., plus more diplo-produced shit.
    -Less garbage-ass rappers talking about their greatness

  • El Tico Loco

    Autotune and swag(claiming it)died,Cuban Linx 2 dropped, Blackout 2 dropped I got my 09 wishes. I’m with Grands on Detox, ironically I’m not fiending for it anymore I don’t know who is.
    I hope Rock the Bells comes to Atlanta on a weekend.

  • http://xxlmag.com Blakout615

    - For more Southern MC’S to get recognition. Such az kevin gates,smoke & shawn jay, jay electronica, killer mike, pill, allstar etc etc

  • http://xxlmag.com Blakout615

    Co sign og matt herbz.
    I never used that “no homo” shit on or off the internet. It was funny at 1st……back in 06 but it just got out of hand.
    That spike lee youtube vid is a classic tho!! Lmao

  • http://xxlmag.com Blakout615

    Co sign og matt herbz.
    I never used that “no homo” shit on or off the internet. It was funny at 1st…….back in 06 but it started getn played out.
    That spike lee youtube vid is a classic tho! Lmao!!

  • Worley

    I’m with you on #2 and #5.

    On #2: Cats should just buy a bulletproof whip, make an attorney a member of their entourage and hire at least one ex-military cat with a federal permit to hold heat (like that ex-Swedish or wherever secret service dude Jay rolls with). Wannabe marksmen ain’t walking down the street with the type of heat that can pierce armor; the average dickhead hip-hop cop don’t want it with an attorney and goons definitely don’t want it with a dude that can shoot your nose off at 100 yards then walk away scot free.

    As for #5: I would like to see Remy Ma and Rah Digga team up and put out an album. It would be lights out for these cank stoochie crows calling themselves MCs.

    Also, write a blog on those suspect hiring practices. I believe you mentioned the difficulty you had finding a legal gig in the past. That would make one helluva article coming from an educated hip-hop cat.

    • Worley

      Make that #3 and #5.

  • latino heat

    *looks through the lost and found box for Siccamore. can’t find Siccamore anywhere.*

    nope. i don’t think anybody else wants it with you Jack.

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Shawnna’s garbage……FTR

  • P. Harris

    I’ve been asking for it for a while now, but I want:

    1. More Nas over 9th Wonders beats

    Come On Nas!

  • latino heat

    come on Jack. you don’t think Titty Boi’s “Scent Of Titty” cologne would sell? i think it would, especially to inmates. i could also see some weirdos out there buying a cologne called “Titty’s, For Men”.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      ^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • http://www.xxlmag.com 615banga

    A Jeezy/Gucci Mixtape

    A Lupe Fiasco Album

    A Chip The Ripper Album
    and a Ray Cash Album (he been missing)

    Less Hating On Wayne & Gucci

    A New Styles P Album

    A Hip Hop Supergroup
    (Wiz Khalifa,Nipsey Hussle,Currensy,All Star,and The Joker)

  • Justice4All

    Tell the truth!

  • capcobra

    a new ruff ryders compilation
    nas vs eminem
    signed rappers battling unsigned dvd rappers
    the new krush groove
    no more BET reality shows
    a playoff spot for the bobcats
    pro-black rap
    papoose and saigon retirement
    jay rock and primo
    juice crew movie
    joe buddens vs everybody
    state property 3..the cd & movie
    rappers shooting videos to songs off old cd’s
    a weekly cipher on BET like they have at the award show

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    I never, EVER, wanna see another picture like the one Akon & Wyclef did at that show…

    theurbandaily.com/special-features/celeb-sightings/
    say-what-akon-shows-wyclef-the-goods

    ^^^ NEVER AGAIN

    • Chilly Willy

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      WTF!?!?!

      Jack ? Can we at least use the big word(without the “no”)? Just for this?

      $yk ! Do you second the motion? If not we’ll call Riley…

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        Motion times a million…[⎮⎮]

  • silentmurder

    - Eminem murdering Canibus
    - Relapse 2 to be better than Relapse
    - more of a focus on instrumental hip-hop (DJ Shadow, DJ Spooky, etc…)
    - Southern rap dying out
    - The Pharcyde makes a new album
    - Lil’ Wayne gets hit by a truck and his carcass gets stampeded over by 5 elephants
    - ban on tight jeans, well tight clothing in general, and sagging, everyone returns to the baggy style of the ’90s. anyone caught wearing tight clothes and sagging their jeans is to be shot on sight

    that’s all that comes to mind at the moment.

  • silentmurder

    oh yeah:

    - Nicki Minaj showing up at my doorstep, wanting to have sex with me

  • BIGNAT

    Jean Grae is the truth if she would just do another album just spitting that fire. that would be worth more than the whole list

  • jay

    Okay

    - a lil zane comeback

    - a soulja boy classic album

    - a chingy greatest hits album

    - a skinny jean clothin line

    Bonus- soulja boy signin to young money

    • BIGNAT

      jay they have lots of clothing labels that only do skinny jeans. lil zane will never comeback because no one is looking for him. you never hear people saying man zane kiled that song remember when he was rapping. soulja boy would have to work his way to making a good album before he can tackle a classic. chingy greatest hits album? he has more than one hit song?

      • DV8

        @ BIGNAT

        you obviously dont get that jay was BS’n huh?

  • C. Hop

    major labels taking risks on good music and not what ever fad is hot at the min and putting out a copy of it.

    rapping about something other than hustlin or material shtt in some of your songs.

    a major to buy the Mac Dre catalog and release it with a decent push nationally.

    southern acts with intelligence like outkast, goodie mob and david banner getting some run and gucci and jeezy saying the same shtt gets less play

    rappers criticized for having no creativity like jeezy taking risks and putting out different/better sh*t showing a full lyrical skills set.

    a sean price bidding war to match drake’s.

    • DV8

      aint that the truth. especially the Mac Dre comment.

      Sean Price is already signed to Duck Down Records (and he is the current president). Fuck the majors. Independence = Freedom.