Where’s Barack? I Mean… Jesse?!

As promised, we must discuss Lil Boosie’s clamoring for Jesse Jackson to come to his defense. We already knew Boosie was a moron, my homie D put me up on a Crunk & Disorderly blog that neatly displays just how quickly His Royal Badness is sinking into hoery and hollow hyperbole.

At least, I hope he’s exaggerating. I mean, he has to be when he says he knows “millions of people with paper on them for gun and drug charges”, right?

Boosie is right about one thing. He got sentenced because of who he is. Boosie is a gun and drug-toting probation violator. That’ll get you in the can just about every time. Having millions of such niggas in one’s Blackberry contact list doesn’t bode well for the prospect of change. Recidivism is a motherfucker. We need to get this little arthropod into a Big Brother program or some shit. Boosie needs a role model.

Needless to say, Boosie doubling up his own prison time after defying the court in speech and deed is not a political matter. We need to save the good Reverend Jackson’s assistance for actual strippers in distress. Besides, he ain’t accepting those expensive-ass collect calls from the bing. Nigga need to find out what Jackie Chiles is doing right about now.

After priding himself on being a hardened criminal with a Teflon fade, Boosie’s now holding up the white flag by claiming to be a first-time offender and looking for clemency? Why, that’s not Bad Azz at all. Sounds more like Boosie Bitch Ass to me. Someone should remind Boosie that first timers get locked up sometimes too. I thought he knew millions of people with paper on them. You would think at least a couple hundred thousand of those references went down on their first convictions.

Too bad Boosie’s clearly not using this time to think about what he did wrong and how he can make his life better when he comes home. He’s only going to be “beating his dick to bad bitches.” That’s just lewd, lascivious, salacious and outrageous.

Boosie’s also under the impression that prison is going to improve his career by boosting record sales. He seems excited about this cast-iron lining to his now doubly large stormcloud. Superbitch is even claiming that people are booking club appearances for the first Saturday he comes home from prison. Seriously? What kind of shit is that? Niggas are booking weekends in 2013? Sounds to me like Boosie’s cellmate promised him a residency at Ray’s Boom-Boom Room when they splash down.

Ray Gibson: Cookie, you gon’ be the chef. And, Boosie… You gon’ perform “Wipe Me Down”

Boosie: With Charmin?

Ray: *fondly* Boosie, you can have all the Charmin you want. *resuming excited pace* Shit finna be crackin’! We gon’ have gamblin’…

We touched on the fallacy of the prison productivity theory when we discussed what rappers actually miss while in the pokey sidestepping cockmeat sandwiches. With the exception of a couple of megastars whose situations have drawn national attention and widespread discussion, incarceration has a disastrous effect on one’s career.  I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T musicians—which Boosie claims to be, yet has zero control over so much as his own record’s guest appearances—miss out on critical performances, recording and in-person promotion while locked up. In today’s fast food music industry, a year away is enough time to be completely forgotten and rendered old, or irrelevant.

Nobody wants a soggy Filet-o-Fish and cold-ass fries. You can’t microwave McDonald’s either. The shit is nasty.

[Blogger’s Note: Boosie also likens himself to 2Pac in the Ozone interview. I can imagine you’re all as Boosied out as I am, but that might have to be an NP unto itself.]

Way to blame “them crackers” at the beginning, too. I’m sure “them crackers” made Boosie violate his probation. I expect a man so well-informed about sales figures to be more cognizant of the notion that “them crackers” are buying his records. I guarantee you Boosie’s biggest and most supportive fan is a 15-year-old Louisiana girl of the “cracker” persuasion.

Boosie needs to just bite that bullet and keep his head up. My greatest fear is that these impressionable youngsters are listening to all this crazy shit like it’s some prime time game they need to be up on. As we’re all aware, sensationalized crime thrillers seem to be all the rage with the young’ns nowadays.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Where [in the world] is Barack [Sandiego]? ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    That n*gga is scared to do this bid…

    • anutha_level

      terrified

    • PA_TRILL_NI666a

      all these niggaz sound like a bunch of east coast hate on da south ass niggaz PIMP C(RIP) did his bid came out n still shined n da rap game, wish da mane lucc nstead of talkn bout him like hoz da nigga do wut he rap about appreciate dat u punk ass bitches

      • Brooklyn

        and you sound like a ignent, everybody hating on the south because lil boosie is a dumbass, ass nigga.

        “da nigga do wut he rap about…”

        and that’s the problem, after “making it” there really shouldn’t be any need for him to still engage in that ignorant ass street shit that he probably engaged in before he started rapping.

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

        @PA_TRILL_NI666A

        Pimp C was a reputable, respected pioneer. Never compare him to a mediocre rapper, regardless of their locale.

        I’m from California, real far from the east coast.

        I’m also from a time when you wish a dude RIP or a “keep ya head up”, whether they’re deserving or otherwise. Cats & haters alike were all set to wish Boosie a farewell & obligatory “stay up homie”, when he fixed his lips & told us, collectively, to “suck [his] dick” &, in the same breath, instructed us to put money on his books…

        Is this really a man you want to defend? By the way, those sentiments were aimed in your general vicintiy as well, PA. You’re taking up for a douche nozzle ass nigga who told you he’d prefer you perform fellatio on him rather than give him your condolences….& WE’RE THE PUNK ASS BITCHES?!

        No dice…

  • Brooklyn

    yo, this post was funny as hell, far too many quotables. i’m wondering what the fuck boosie expects? jesse jackson, al sharpton, barack obama a.k.a “super negro”, the defender of all dumb niggas’ rights, and the naacp to protest along with the twenty niggas in louisiana that actually buys his albums because his ignorant ass violated his parole? it’s so funny when niggas do something wrong and then get indignant when they get punished for it. who the fuck does he think he is, a real rapper? what, he thought he could break the law and get tip time? man, fuck this nigga and his carlton banks fade.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    “After priding himself on being a hardened criminal with a Teflon fade, Boosie’s now holding up the white flag by claiming to be a first time offender and looking for clemency? Why, that’s not Bad Azz at all. Sounds more like Boosie Bitch Ass to me.”
    ^^that was fuckin hilarious!

  • gafinest08

    We need to get this little arthropod into a Big Brother program or some shit.

    Fucked up, but true. But as usual, some story, different dumb nigga. I swear i just wrote about this shit…http://daily-math.com/weblog/?p=1899#more-1899
    gafinest08
    November 16th, 2009 at 2:21 pm · Reply
    gucci getting locked back up is no surprise to anybody from ga. niggas like gucci never truly “make it”. the money, cars, hoes, etc. are merely mirages of what success really is. most cats down south work all week to throw it away on the weekend; meaning that everything they’re working for is for the next party. gucci is no different, his stupidy is just on a bigger playing field. when he’s grinding and putting in work on the next album he’s good. thats his week, so to speak. as soon as he’s finished with the album, its back to the bullshit. he cant help it. i swear that dumb nigga shit is a genetic trait in the ga. i know, cuz i was in that cycle myself for a yr… or two. free gucci my ass. he know he fucked up. plus, he’ll be out again and doing his “week” before u know it. GUCCI!!… nigga please

  • http://www.facebook.com/maxprofit Max Profit

    He just little scared of Jail.
    I don’t think he meant what he said about Jesse.
    And even if he really meant it, who cares?

    “I still bump ya shit though I aint a hater” -Styles P

  • I. Ron Chic

    Dope Drop.

    Jackie Chiles + eddie as ray in life Quotables, natch

  • AZ40

    He still don’t want niggas sayin’ keep ya head up, “put somethin’ on my books nigga”

  • capcobra

    next he gon turn muslim.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    “That’s just lewd, lascivious, salacious and outrageous”

    ^^Jackie Chiles could’ve had his own spin-off.

    Drake’s been off the radar, what, about 2 months, maybe? I haven’t heard anybody say anything about dude in awhile. Now, imagine a shitfy-eyed, grizzled, fade-turnt-french braided, disgruntled Boosie touching down in 2 years. He’ll be lucky if he still has homeboys, much less a viable rap career.

    Aspiring rapsters, take note…

  • gafinest08

    He should call Gucci; same shit different nigga
    gafinest08
    November 16th, 2009 at 2:21 pm · Reply
    gucci getting locked back up is no surprise to anybody from ga. niggas like gucci never truly “make it”. the money, cars, hoes, etc. are merely mirages of what success really is. most cats down south work all week to throw it away on the weekend; meaning that everything they’re working for is for the next party. gucci is no different, his stupidy is just on a bigger playing field. when he’s grinding and putting in work on the next album he’s good. thats his week, so to speak. as soon as he’s finished with the album, its back to the bullshit. he cant help it. i swear that dumb nigga shit is a genetic trait in the ga. i know, cuz i was in that cycle myself for a yr… or two. free gucci my ass. he know he fucked up. plus, he’ll be out again and doing his “week” before u know it. GUCCI!!… nigga please

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      ^^^Word to daily-math dot com.

    • anutha_level

      well said shawty…

  • Chilly Willy

    This is hilarious!

    While on one hand, CJ talks about a G who walks the walk, we got Ron who reprimands the coontastic likes of Lil Poossy.

    XXL is really good for the children, word to Baby Jesus !!!

    The notion of “probation”, let alone “violation” thereof, dismiss all notion of “first time”. I thought someone who plays with word for a living, and who incidentally happens to be familiar with the whole justice system, can understand that. Shiiiiiiit, I’m no poet and I ain’t never been in court for shit but I know what “probation violation” means.

    Jesse must be somewhere on camera thinking loudly he should cut Bitch Azz balls for dice.

  • BIGNAT

    ron ron did it again some many funny as lines.
    “After priding himself on being a hardened criminal with a Teflon fade, Boosie’s now holding up the white flag by claiming to be a first-time offender and looking for clemency? Why, that’s not Bad Azz at all.” teflon fade mwhahahahahaha
    “Superbitch is even claiming that people are booking club appearances for the first Saturday he comes home from prison. Seriously? What kind of shit is that? Niggas are booking weekends in 2013?” come on for real that is some bullshit on another level.
    “I guarantee you Boosie’s biggest and most supportive fan is a 15-year-old Louisiana girl of the “cracker” persuasion.” yeah he does not understand that. well during his timeout he will have time to reflect on that. if he doesn’t act super bad in jail he can get out early.

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    @ gafinest08

    Real talk.

    I’ll say it again. Lil’ Boosie is shook right now…

  • caino

    Co-sign Chilly,

    ‘The notion of “probation”, let alone “violation” thereof, dismiss all notion of “first time”. I thought someone who plays with word for a living, and who incidentally happens to be familiar with the whole justice system, can understand that. Shiiiiiiit, I’m no poet and I ain’t never been in court for shit but I know what “probation violation” means.’

    my thoughts exactly !

  • Justice4All

    He should have gotten more time for those wack raps he was spitting. His album should have been entitled “Rappin for dummies”-with the yellow and black label on the front. Dumb Fool. Now look what you got….time and plenty of it. Was it with it Lil Dummie? Lil’ Fool, do you feel better now that you have a new manager and his name is “Cracka”. He will book of your appearences for the next 4 years-front row in the mess hall, beating on tables and defending yo manhood.

    Dummie.

  • Shawty J

    “But really, I’d feel like I’m just punching these crackers back in the face for what they’re doing to me. This is my first conviction. Jesse Jackson needs to be down here screaming for me too. This my first conviction and I’m doing jail time. I know millions of people with paper on them for gun and drug charges, but [I got sentenced] because of who I am.”

    - Lil Boosie

    Let’s break that down and analyze everything wrong with that statement.

    “But really, I’d feel like I’m just punching these crackers back in the face for what they’re doing to me.”

    “These crackers” are punishing you for a crime that you committed. If your ass didn’t want to go jail you either shouldn’t have committed the crime, or should’ve been smarter about how you committed it, I’d go with the former.

    “This is my first conviction. Jesse Jackson needs to be down here screaming for me too.”

    Jesse Jackson doesn’t need to be helping your dumb ass out, nigga. Nothing unjust happened, and he’d have nothing to gain.

    “This my first conviction and I’m doing jail time. I know millions of people with paper on them for gun and drug charges, but [I got sentenced] because of who I am.”

    You’re a d-list rapper, who’s maybe one or two steps above one hit wonder status. You have an annoying voice and you’ve been falsely masquerading as a lyricist. And while that in itself should be a crime, I’m pretty sure that’s not why they arrested you.

  • Sleepy Wonder

    We Should Let Omarion Have A Talk With Lil Poosie About Jail :/

  • chillin mayne

    oh no…no no no….NOOOOOOOOO…im DONE with rap son..ron WHY in the HELL did u have to provide the link for that OZONE interview?? there is no way in hell…

    boosie “Me and Webbie are supposed to be ten times bigger than what we are right now. Nobody makes better music than us. That’s how I feel, and that’s the truth.”

    is this ….can he….NEGRO PLEASE…this is just atrocious, is boosie serious??..NOBODY IS CHECKING FOR THIS CAT..boosie ur raps are garbage, no im not hating, ur raps ARE garbage..you are not a lryricist in any sense of the word…somebody shoot me, stab me, kill me…..im done with rap…this dude really thinks hes lyrical..