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Too late to ‘pologize

[Note: I've gotta pull a double tomorrow at the job I work to subsidize hip-hop journalism, and the guy who was gonna teach me how to set these posts to publish at a later date doesn't work here anymore, so I'm publishing this one a little bit early. Enjoy!]

Chris Brown tried to issue an apology. Now it might be time to use the Rumble in the Lambo to his advantage.

I could have told him, back when he put on that bow tie and went on Larry King Live, that Oprah and them weren’t about to let that shit slide. It doesn’t matter if he took time out of his precious schedule, that he could have been using to experiment with cocaine, or take advantage of a groupie, to perform at Oprah’s school for girls in South Africa. It doesn’t matter how light skinted he is. It’s a wonder he was embraced to the extent that he was in the first place, but some people just don’t believe in giving a black man a second chance.

Take for example Jay-Z. I know at least some of you weren’t buying my theory, several weeks ago, that Jay cockblocked Chris Brown from performing a Wacko Jacko tribute at this year’s BET Awards. (Wasn’t there also a BET Awards the other day? Are they doing them every few weeks now?) I wonder if you’ve changed your mind, now that we’ve seen what happened to Charlemagne Tha God.

Would I have done the same thing, if Chris Brown put a shoe on my sister? First of all, that’s a moot point, because not only do I not have a sister, but I’m not buying for a minute Rihanna’s argument, as put forth on Good Morning America the other day, that domestic violence can happen to anyone. Domestic violence can only happen to people in relationships with people who are prone to lay the smack down, even then it’s only likely to happen when the victim – ahem, survivor – fails to check herself. Or himself. Whatever the case may be.

Anyway, it must have finally occurred to Chris Brown’s handlers that all of this apologizing would only serve the purpose of making him look like a pussy to the many fans who could give a rat’s ass about the Rumble in the Lambo, because they know he would never do the same thing to them, as long as they don’t bother him about some ol’ bullshit while he’s trying to drive.I read yesterday that Chris Brown would grace the cover of the first issue of the new Vibe, which is coming out next month. And then I read earlier today that he plans to “open up” about the Rumble in the Lambo in an MTV special which airs this Friday.

It sure would suck for Vibe, if he says everything he was planning to reveal in next month’s issue in this MTV special. I still remember back when Elliott “Here Comes a Regular” Wilson was working here, and he was gonna try to get either Kanye or Fiddy, or maybe both of them, on the cover, during the run up to their first week sales showdown, back in ’07, then Rolling Stone beat him to it. Master Splinter was hot! No homo. I’m assuming Vibe were planning to have Chris Brown go into graphic detail about the Rumble in the Lambo. Otherwise, why even make such a fuss about him being on the cover of the first issue? They could have gone with someone talented, and made it seem as if the new Vibe would be something worthy of being taken seriously.

Fortunately for Vibe, I doubt Chris Brown would get as graphic in an MTV special, which is, after all, on TV, as he would in a print interview. A lot of young kids watch MTV. His handlers probably told him to describe brutalizing Rihanna, which is the purpose of both the special and the Vibe cover, but not to go into too much graphical, or discuss whether or not it had to do with him banging some old woman, who discovered him as a child artist, like Birdman did Lil Wayne. Vibe may have even been aware of the MTV special, and made sure he went above and beyond what he said there, in their interview. If he didn’t, and they need me to speculate about I think might have happened, I’d be willing to do it for, literally, a three-digit sum. The only thing I really care about anymore is wine, and it’s not that expensive, when you think about it.

Regardless of how he goes about letting the world know what we’ve been wanting to know all this time, this could work out well for Chris Brown. People will be pissed, I’m sure, but most of them will just be people who weren’t willing to forgive Chris Brown, under any circumstances. You can’t please everyone. And even if people are pissed, that just means more free publicity for Chris Brown, in time for the release of his new album.

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