“This is some bullshit.”
Them polices picked up Katt Williams last night on burglary and trespassing charges. The Dipset rapper and retired comedian is still in custody as of press time today.
Before this all gets too out of hand, I’m going to lead the wave of acceptance and ask for some leniency on Pimp in a Thimble’s behalf. [Blogger’s Note: Thank you, Patton Oswalt.] Maybe this situation is one big misunderstanding. We don’t really know what happened yet. They say Williams was on the set of a movie at the time of the incident. Maybe this was just some method acting and preparation for an upcoming role alongside Kevin Hart in Paper Soldiers 2.
Katt Williams is a great talent. Sometimes these guys have to do extreme shit to maintain such a high level of artistry. How else can you explain a nigga forgetting where and who he is from time to time? Exactly. He’s that deep into his work.
Seriously, though—I hope the DVD player* Williams boosted was worth his final strike. No, this isn’t his final strike in the court of law, I don’t think. It’s his final strike in the court of public opinion. The niggas who defended Williams when he was playing duck duck goose by himself in the middle of a motel lobby can’t come up with a logical explanation for this one, can they?
[Blogger’s Note: The DVD is just analogous to the dope fiendish behavior denoted by a burglary charge. I think he’s accused of taking jewelry. Sorry to insinuate he actually took a DVD player, which would be totally unacceptable. *snicker*]
Comedians often need self-effacing material. I understand this much. Martin Lawrence (halfheartedly) took a page out of Richard Pryor’s playbook that Eddie Murphy is too proud to consult. But Money Mike had the joke tank fully loaded with his gun charge and breakdown. But Katt’s had enough of that since getting knocked the fuck out after his self-imposed, self-sustained battle with Steve Harvey in the cold-ass D where niggas aren’t exactly sure how to keep peace.
[Blogger’s Note: Speaking of D… Dayton family, please come get your man. Bootleg isn’t even getting this trife.]
Can anyone tell me what movie Williams was working on? Who hired this man on the heels of his December to forget? Ironically enough, after roasting them in the standup triumph that is The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1, (no sarcasm there) Williams is on the fast track to becoming Michael Jackson weird and DMX shunned. Maybe Williams knows what DMX ordering appetizers sounds like for a reason. I wouldn’t be surprised to know they’ve shared a bowl of Frosted Flakes or two in their day.
Williams speaks often of being a foster parent many times over. He basks in the praise associated with doing so. Sure, it’s a commendable act to take care of children who need loving homes. However, it’s not okay to be teaching the little motherfuckers all of the shit they were going to learn in the group home anyway. Imagine being a foster kid excited as hell not only to be saved from the system, but to be going into the home of a successful entertainer. You’d be pretty fuckin geeked, right? Then you find out the nigga is a dope fiend and aspiring career criminal. That’s got to be ironic like a motherfucker.
The kids might be inclined to use a Katt classic at this point. “This is some bullshit.”
[Blogger’s Note: I do not endorse rearing and disciplining children using ironies. Not steam ironies, curling ironies, flat ironies or tire ironies. That shit is child abuse whether in public or in private.]
Needless to say, hopping up into Stanley’s window and stealing jewelry like the first Friday movie has to be a violation of one’s probation. Meanwhile, Williams was so worried about the shit he believes Michael Jackson was exposing the kids to, he forgot about his own dirty closet. Now his kids have show up at school embarrassed to have been raised by A Pimp Named Misdemeanor.
Fuck. They might be better off back in the foster system at this point.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Lunchin’? firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S.: That is an awesome mugshot!
[I got one finger on the “Unpublish” button, as more reports are coming out… Katt-a-lac is still in custody though.]