Have a baby by Nas, be a millionaire

It must chap Nas’ ass whenever he hears that song “Baby By Me” by 50 Cent. (No homo.)

I mean, it’s bad enough he’s gotta pay out the ass each month for child support for young Knight Rider Jones, who can’t cost any more to feed than it costs to keep me in Yellow Tail. (We’re talking very low three figures.) But every time he turns on the rrradio, he hears a song celebrating this kind of bullshit, 15 times a day, for 3 months. Man, fuck that shit!

Then adding insult to injury is the fact that Fiddy Cent makes at least 10x more money than Nas, but he somehow pays like 10x less in child support. (Both rough estimates, mind you.) This for a child that’s old enough that it might cost a decent amount of money (more than I’ve got anyway) to take care of him. And to a mother who couldn’t just sit around the rest of her life and live eat off the royalties from “Milkshake,” if she wanted to. If anything, 50 Cent should be the one getting raped well into the mid five figures each month. Well, no one should, really, but you catch my drift.

It’s easy to joke about paying a broad to take care of your kids, when you could afford to have as many kids as Diddy, without it being any sweat off your proverbial sack. I’m hoping that the next Nas album, like Fiddy’s godawful new Before I Self Destruct, features at least three songs in which he makes reference to his domestic situation, but something Nas’ songs won’t be nearly as celebratory. Another “Ether” could be in order, complete with numerous references to fellatio.

We’re finally starting to see signs that Nas is not about to take this lying down, like that poor girl out in scenic Richmond, CA. I read the other day on TMZ, via Sandra Rose, that Nas is trying to block Kelis from receiving “spousal support.” He’s already paying $44,000 to take care of Knight Rider (not the car), but she requested something ridonkulous like an additional $70,000 a month to take care of her dumb ass. Nas responded that jack shit would be a more reasonable sum. Of course, I’d have to agree. However, I’d be more impressed, if I didn’t think that part of it has to do with the fact that he can barely come up with the 44k each month.

A few weeks ago, there was another story about Nas on TMZ, about how the IRS was coming after him for a few million, because he went a few years without paying any income tax. As I recall, he stopped paying around the time he signed with Def Jam, for which he received quite a bit of money, which is probably why he owes so much. Method Man got stuck for the same shit recently, and his bill wasn’t nearly as much – though I talked to a guy from the IRS (really, I did) and he said that 300k or whatever figure they quoted was an estimate, based on what he’d been paying, before he stopped. For all we know, both Meth and Nas could owe way more than the figures quoted on TMZ.

If Nas had enough money to cut Uncle Sam a check for two point some-odd million dollars, I’m pretty sure he would have, a long time ago. We never would have heard about it on TMZ. Think about it: Nas is gonna have to pay that money at some point or another anyway, or he’s going to jail. The IRS loves nothing more than to throw a black celebrity in jail, on some ol’ bullshit, rather than letting them work, so maybe they could make the money to pay the gov’t back. They like making examples out of people. And if Nas had cut that check a year ago, or two years, or if he’d just paid his taxes when they were due, maybe he could have avoided having to pay that 44k a month, on the grounds that he just plain doesn’t have any money.

Alas, Nas probably never suspected Kelis would try to take him to the cleaners, as soon as she got pregnant by him. (Kaching!) Let me guess: the reason he couldn’t afford to pay his taxes is because Kelis spent up all that money he got from Def Jam. Part of the reasoning behind that 44k a month was so that Kelis and Knight Rider could continue the quality of living to which she’d become accustomed. I remember reading that they had a few different homes, and all kinds of expensive shit. Nas probably wasn’t sweating spending all of his money, since Kelis is capable of making her own money. At the very least she wouldn’t put him in a situation where he might have to go to jail. Clearly, he was mistaken.

  • dat koon nigga

    this nigga fucked
    B I G T I M E

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Fuck that.

    I might be time to move to another continent, like really. Only so many ‘L’s can be taken before there’s nothing left to lose but one’s sanity.

    I’d hate to see NaS spaz & take out a room full of people, & then himself. & the saddest shit about that would be that Kelis would most likely not be anywhere in the vicinity.

    How long before Kelis & Rihanna team up for “I Hate You pt. 2″?

  • beaver

    hell yea..dats fucked up..
    dat bitch kelis doin his ass bogus..
    is dat really da name of da kid “knight rider”.??

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Damn.

    Son may have to put the blunt down and actually do some work…

    • that nigga

      Yeah, that sounds good to me. Hope this is a wake up for lil dunny to put that Jansport backpack back on an trash that Tom Ford shit.

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    *Turns Marvin Gaye’s “Hear My Dear” WAY WAY WAY the fuck up*

    MARVIN GAYE lyrics – Here, My Dear

    I guess I’d have to say this album is
    dedicated to you.
    Although perhaps you may not be happy,
    this is what you want,
    so I conceded.
    I hope it makes you happy.
    There’s a lot of truth in it, babe.

    I don’t think I’ll have many regrets, baby.
    Things didn’t have to be the way they was, baby.
    You don’t have the right to use the son of mine
    to keep me in line.
    One thing I can’t do without
    is the boy whom God gave to both of us.
    I’m so happy, oh, for the son of mine.

    So here it is, babe.
    I hope you enjoy, reminisce, be happy,
    think about the kisses and the joy.
    But there were those other moments too,
    the times that were cloudy and grey.
    Bad.
    But you taught me that was life.
    May love ever protect you,
    may peace come into your life.
    Always think of me the way I was.
    Ha, I was your baby.

    This is what you wanted.
    Here, dear, here it is.
    Here, my dear, here it is.

    • SuperstarExtraordinaire

      no lie dude…..the soundtrack to nas’ life son

  • HNIC

    “The IRS loves nothing more than to throw a black celebrity in jail, on some ol’ bullshit, rather than letting them work, so maybe they could make the money to pay the gov’t back.”

    Word to ol’ black ass, Wesley Snipes. I bet that Count Chocula, The Count from Sesame Street & any of the gay vampires from the Twilight series were laughing there asses off, as they were encouring people to eat their delicious cereal, counting the years that he was given for tax evasion, & doing random acts of gayness. (No True Blood)

    As far as Nas is concerned, I won’t call Kelis a bitch, I’ll just call her a very unstable creature. (Word to Omar Gooding in “Baby Boy”.) I, too, agree that she shouldn’t get jack shit, with her ol’ man hating ass. “

    I wish that I had 4 hands, so that I could give those titties, 4 thumbs down. The milk’s gone bad, Charlie Murphy!” Word to Chappelle/ Rick James.

  • sealsaa

    You’d have thought that Nas would’ve learned his lesson after being subjected to Carmen’s treachery. How dissapointing. These family courts/laws need a serious overhaul.

  • sealsaa

    “The IRS loves nothing more than to throw a black celebrity in jail, on some ol’ bullshit, rather than letting them work, so maybe they could make the money to pay the gov’t back.”

    Bullshit. I make a fraction of what Nas and Wesley Snipes make a year, and I manage to pay my taxes like clockwork(call it self preservation). What, did they think that the government was going to let him off the hook because he made Illmatic?

    • Worley

      Bullsh*t. You don’t pay taxes. The gov’t TAKES that sh*t out ya check.

      I’m more concerned about Lamar Odom. That fool saw all this sh*t go down and still married Cow Kardashian. His prenup says he has to pay 500K for every year they are married PLUS spousal support and she keeps the house. He even went for some BS saying he has to buy her a new car every three years. Looks like Richard Jefferson is smarter than both of those dudes.

      • DV8

        this is one particular case where the saying “its cheaper to keep her” reigns true. Odom better not fuck this up. Momma Kardashian is no joke at the negotiation table.

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    BTW:

    Forget about that Hot Boys reunion…

    nola.com/crime/index.ssf/
    2009/11/local_rapper_bg_arrested_on_gu.html

    • Chilly Willy

      Oh shit !!!
      (Truth be told, if Mannie Fresh was nowhere around it, I would’ve been disappointed anyway).

      I think we pretty much established a trend.

      On another note, some multi-recidivist drunk driver out there should run “accidentally” Brandy-style into a milkshake…

      I’m just sayin…

  • kebo

    dont forget he still gettin that “gettin jiggy wit it” money! oh yeah he wrote that,and i think it sold like 5 mil.

  • kebo

    dont forget about that “gettin jiggy wit it “money! oh yeah he wrote that and i think it sold like 5 mil

  • Master Cheef

    And so it was written

  • Rex Banner

    Yo I haven’t been on this site in a minute and I’m wondering where billy sunday is? I know he has controversial blogs but did he do somehing to get canned?He is not on the side for bloggers? WTF is going on?? Damn this acid is hitting me hard!

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    When it cums 2 selecting beats & broads Nas is an a**hole.

    Jayz fucked his babymama & left the condom in the backseat.
    Sum unknown dude bash Kelis video-tape it & brag about it & now the b*tch want millions.

    (It was written/hip hop is dead) could been classics but bad beats selection was his downfall.

  • rich kid ldn

    Sucker for love …..I can’t remember if it was jigga or cam who said this but it applies to nas bigtime….nas married the chick right after his mum died and she obviously took advantage of his mindstate!!!don’t forget what eve did to adam..the bitch!!!

    • snopop

      You could be thinking of what 50 said on Piggy Bank.
      “Kelis said her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/ Then Nas went and tattooed the bitch on his arm/ I mean that way out in Cali, niggas know these guns/ First thing they say about you, is you a sucker for love/

      Seems like a harder diss now than it was then.

    • Master CHeef

      50 called nas a sucker for love on “piggy bank”.

  • Technique

    @rich kid ldn

    “It aint my fault i’m raw/i’m sorr B but i want a war/and he stabbed Un over charlie Baltimore/sucka fa love/mm-mm/sucka fa love.”

    -Cam’ron on Jay Z, not Nas. That song is my shit though.

  • big ry

    Just kill the bitch,Nas!

  • denise