Don’t stop believing, Saigon

First of all, I’d just like to point out that, last night, after I published my post on how the Def Jam issue of XXL – along with the fact that there was no Freshman 10 issue this year – is a sign that the TIs have shifted their focus from hipster rap to old man rap, I was watching Toure’s show Hip Hop Shop, on Fuse, and the guest was none other than motherfucking Warren G.

I almost spit out my Yellow Tail. Which would have sucked, since a) it probably would have left a stain; and b) that shit costs money. $5.49 a bottle might not be a lot of money to you, but you probably don’t work a job where you occasionally have to dodge shit thrown at you by irate black women. I need every ounce of Cabernet that comes in that bottle, if I’m gonna get to sleep most nights.

I had no idea Warren G was still pursuing a career in rap music. It just seemed like some shit the TIs might try to pull, given what I’ve learned from going on four years now of following this shit so closely. Could it be that I’m getting to the point where I’m able to predict a TI’s thought process? Maybe I can use this ability to save eight year-olds from freemason blood sacrifice. Or I suppose I could just follow Peter Rosenberg around and wait until he gets near a Chuck E. Cheese.

Anyhoo, Warren G says he’s got a new album coming out, his sixth overall. Oh, really? I was aware of the mid to late ’90s-era follow up to Regulate: The G-Funk Era, in which the wanton sampling of ’80s R&B records had somehow managed to get even more egregious, but that’s about it. Seeing him on the hip-hop shop last night, it occurred to me that I probably haven’t so much as seen him on TV since the 1990s. He looks like he spent the last 10 years smoking weed and eating Cheetos.

He might need to take some workout tips from Saigon. In the time since I published yesterday’s post, he’s apparently gone on the radio and recorded a video for World Star, to address having been caught hounding some obscure video ho for her phone number on Twitter. The gist of his argument seems to be: why would he need to beg a women for some stank, when he’s got such big biceps? If anything, she should be the one begging him!

The video begins with Saigon flexing for the camera. His arms have clearly gotten a lot bigger since that old picture from his MySpace, where he looked like one of these guys in the joint who spends a shedload of time working out, so another guy doesn’t try to fuck him in his ass (make him humble). Longtime readers of this site might recall that I made reference to this picture a few years ago, when Saigon’s ex-manager Sickamore used to work here.

(In the round of press Saigon did for his latest Koch Graveyard release, whenever someone asked him why his career has yet to take off, he always attributed it to bad management. He’s since left Sickamore for 50 Cent’s manager, Sha Money XL. It’s too bad Sickamore isn’t around anymore. I’d love to see him address this. I’d suggest letting him do a week of guest blogging here, but he’d probably just pull a Charlemagne tha God and tell us about everything other than what we actually want to know.)

So then Saigon introduces another video of himself, on Shade 45′s morning show with Angela Yee, Sirius’ budget Miss Info, who does have a somewhat better blaccent. (I believe in giving credit where credit is due.) We’re led to believe that this second video will vindicate Saigon from charges of going all Keith Sweat on the kind of woman who probably wouldn’t run you any more than about 15 bucks a throw, over in East Saint. But it doesn’t

Saigon orders her to run down the story of what happened between the two of them, and it sounds just as pathetic as it did on Twitter. Maybe even more so. We learn that Saigon also sent her some downright nasty emails, and he doesn’t try to deny it or anything. Why he even bothered to post this video, I’m not sure. The only thing I can think is that maybe he thought that, by watching this video, a brother such as myself could sympathize with his plight. Which I can.

Because I myself have often struggled to get some stank on my hanglow (shocker!), I’ve spent a significant amount of time now reading up on what you might call relationship strategy. And one of the things I’ve learned is that even guys who get the amount of pussy I’m gonna get, once I strike it rich, still have to work at it. Scoring with a lot of women is more of a numbers game than anything else. You holler at a shedload of women until you find one that’s susceptible to your particular line of bullshit, then you go in for the kill. Shampoo, rinse and repeat.

You’d think there’s a certain amount of money you could make, or working out you could do, to where women would realize you’re a quality individual and make sweet, passionate love to you, but there isn’t. That’s not how a woman’s mind works. It’s all about persistence.

Recommended for You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

  • Jay stone

    Damn nigga get some pussy

  • Grimey G

    Love the Charlamagne comment, so true.

    Yea, theres a weird thing with short musclebound niggas with braids, its just a strange mixture. But those are always the biggest pussy chasers and they never have any shame. You gotta respect it almost.

  • Enlightened

    C’mon Son. That nigga didn’t really go on Worldstar talkin bout that shit did he?

    Man, I can’t do it. I can’t. Fuck it, you gon’ make me go watch that shit.

  • General

    Saigon needs to put that web cam down and figure out how to resurrect his career that almost existed…

    Everytime he opens his mouth he takes himself one step closer to making sure that we will never get to hear his “classic” CD, lol

  • awesome arsenal

    always told my brother not to be scared to holla at chicks cause the worst thing they could say is “no” which in alot of cases works out for the best for you. but there’s the off chance that a chick that you think is out of your league is gonna hop in the ride, even if the ride ain’t fly. plus if you’re like me and don’t put any chicks on a pedestal you’re probably gonna end up with more stank than you can possibly handle sometimes and you’ll see that the fine ones aren’t much different from the regulars or uglies so it doesn’t really matter anyway

  • http://xxl All Dae

    persistence is the foundation for getting women. How u talk, carry yrself and handel yr possessions determings how long she stays. it help to have yr sex and pussy eating skils up to par.

  • sealsaa

    ” he’d probably just pull a Charlemagne tha God and tell us about everything other than what we actually want to know.)”

    Really. Mr. “Man of the people” won’t even address the possibility of being maliciously fired, choosing instead to write a love letter to man-face Wendy Williams. Fuck outta here.

    Pretty fucking pathetic, Saigon. SMH

  • Bobo D

    1) Don’t you have the 213 album, it’s a must recommend.

    2)why would he need to beg a women for some stank, when he’s got such big biceps?
    Maybe she saw that Katt Williams show in which he says (paraphrasing) : “So you mean steriods make you big but your dick little, I was trying to impress a bitch not trick her.”

    3)When it comes to getting a girl I can take a hint. Did Saigon finish school? If not this can explain alot, cause the most you can learn about girls is at school especialy when one of your friends gets publicly humilated by them.

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Did any of you watch the video from CTG yesterday? He kinda did address that situation better than what I’ve heard or seen.

    Raise your hand if you EVER thought Saigon pulled broads like that…

    Sterling/Robert Mondavi>>>>>>>Yellow Tail

    Yellow Tail is equivalent to Pabst Blue Ribbon when it comes to wine.

    • Mr. North

      You think so? Its not that bad. But then again Pabst isn’t that bad either, Ill drink it. Better than Busch. Will not drink that.LOL

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        NOOOOOO! You mentioned Busch!

        flat, warm Olde English>>>>>>>Busch


        I take Yellow Tail to other people’s houses for dinner & stuff. I do the Sterling with the finest of crabmeats @ home.

        The Yellow ain’t bad, but Sterling/Mondavi is a better taste & buzz. Check it out.

        • Mr. North

          LOL right on. Im a have to check that out then.

          Drinking 2 Steele Reserves= A felony is bound to me committed.

  • capcobra

    i seen hip hop shop yesterday too..lmao..i turned after the lollipop video..still don’t know why i watched it tho..i think i was buggin trying to figure out if static major is the piece that young money missing..especially since wayne tried to sign omarion of all people…other than that..saigon buggin…too much down time..he need something to do besides being on twitter and worldstar..i’m starting to think that joey might have his 1st victim..shit just ain’t been right for this guy since the infamous far as his playa approach/technique pops taught me to holla at the 10 baddest chicks..this way if you only get at least got a bad one..god forbid if you get of ‘’s a real simple process..i’m assuming saigon never got the lessons..he probably majored in criminal activities..which probably explains his thirstiness and rap sheet..just like certain rappers got weed gotta have groupie baggers..he stupid for approaching her on twitter anyhow..let ya lil manz do that..stop being greedy..i mean thirsty.

  • Worley

    “You holler at a shedload of women until you find one that’s susceptible to your particular line of bullshit, then you go in for the kill. Shampoo, rinse and repeat.”

    That strategy NEVER fails.

  • http:/ Tony Grands

    Broads are broads. & the more important they think they are, the more important you have to treat them. That broad might’ve done him a favor by turning him down, because most of them of that caliber aren’t worth the headache, especially if you just on a hunt for more trim (which he obviously was. Video hoes don’t = wifey material).

    Even if he didn’t graduate, he should know from junior high school, don’t let everybody know you’re passing a letter to a chick. So if/when she shoots you down, there’s no evidence.

    • BOSS D.R.E

      Nigga do you hate TI? You say that nigga’s name so much that I’m starting to think that you’re the one who snitched on him.

      • EMoThaGr8

        He ain’t talkin bout Tip.

        TI=Tall Israeli. Industry honchos
        T.I.=Clifford Harris

      • Tony Grands

        @Boss DRE

        When did I say “TI”? Maybe you didn’t mean to attach that to my comment.

  • real talk

    wow, the first meaningful post I heard from Bol.
    Out of all the posts. This guy makes a real one.

  • DaChao

    WOW…AS funny as it sounds…sometimes i wanna hear rappers say some shit other than topics about money and music and other niggas….The reason being is that nigga come on theres more going on in YOUR life than that…Yea i cant say im like saigon…i mean 4 crying out loud you can PAY a prostitute nowadays…Theres NO Reason to be pussyless…But its alot of guys out there that are…Damn shame…but theres a HUGE percentage of them that Gets pussy once in awhile. and always tryna say how they get WAAAAAAAY more pussy than you…

    U feel me tHO??

  • Pingback: - » Two For [Your] Money: Which ‘09 LPs Have You Slept On?

  • Victoria Cagle

    Wow I am really the only comment to this incredible read!