Why Lil Wayne is facing a year in jail

I’ve spent about five minutes researching this Lil Wayne trial, and I’m at a loss for how he might end up doing a year in the pokey. He must be trying to get locked up, for publicity purposes.

Back in July of ’07, Lil Wayne got busted in New York for having a gun on his tour bus. I remember, at the time, the late, great Dallas Penn doing a post about how dumb it was that he got caught with a gun that didn’t even have any ammunition. (I also seem to recall Ja Rule, of all people, getting busted for the same thing, that same night, but I could be mistaken. And I’m not about to conduct any more research.) This was back when DP was doing a post on Lil Wayne at least every other day, perhaps as some sort of concept art comment on the fact that they kept putting him on the cover of XXL. Or maybe he was just lazy. Who knows?

Then the case just kinda got swept under the rug. I never would have guessed it would lead to an actual trial, with Lil Wayne on MTV showing up to court in metrosexual Perry Ellis gear, and talk that he might actually do a year in the joint. Don’t these things usually just go away. In that two or three year period between when white guys on the Internets started pretending as if Lil Wayne was worth listening to and the release of Tha Carter III, it seemed like Lil Wayne, or the people on his tour bus, would get busted for guns, sizzurp, weed and what have you every few weeks. Then you’d never hear about it again. I remember one time they got caught down in Tennessee or somewhere with an underage girl who was supposedly Baby’s wife, thus leading me to believe that the Birdman’s proclivity for preying on children might be one of the great untold stories of modern day hip-hop. The Smoking Gun might want to hop on that.

NYPD must be trying to make an example out of Lil Wayne. A few years ago, I read the book by the guy who invented the infamous Hip Hop Police, and it sounded like some pretty egregious. I wouldn’t be surprised if 5-0 didn’t even have probable cause to search Lil Wayne’s tour bus. One of the black officers was probably aware of Lil Wayne’s addiction to sizzurp, and ensured his superiors they’d find something illegal on the bus. Indeed, I read on MTV News just now that one of the main points in the trial is whether or not 5-0 could smell weed on the bus, giving them a reason to search. There definitely was weed on the bus (obvs), but they might not have even been smoking at the time.

Hilariously, Lil Wayne’s Jewish lawyer also felt it important to point out that Lil Wayne was in his underwear, with between 12 and 20 other guys, when the search went down. (Whether or not Baby’s underage bride was there, I’m not sure.)

“[Lil Wayne] was in the bus in his boxer shorts with a number of other people,” [his lawyer Stacey Richman] said. “Unless his boxer shorts had a pocket for this gun, I don’t understand how he had it on him.”
[...]
Both attorneys questioned why the other 12 to 20 people on the bus were not arrested along with Wayne, given New York laws that require that everyone in a vehicle with an unclaimed gun be charged if that vehicle is searched by police.

From what I understand, they found the gun in the bathroom, and they just assumed it belonged to Lil Wayne, probably because that’s who they were there to bust. Then, using what the AP refers to as a controversial process to obtain a DNA sample using a minuscule amount of genetic materially, they determined, scientifically, that the gun must have belonged to Lil Wayne. This despite the fact that Wayne’s lawyer, who’s supposedly well-known in the music biz, claims to have proof that it was legally registered to Lil Wayne’s manager, Cortez Bryant. It sounds to me like the gun might have gotten some of Lil Wayne’s “genetic material” on it from sitting in that bathroom. (Ick!) How that makes it his gun is beyond me. I was pre-med, but I’m pretty sure I could have gotten this case tossed out on my own, Colin Ferguson-style.

The only thing I can think is that this must be a conspiracy on the part of Lil Wayne’s lawyer and the TIs to have Lil Wayne tossed in the pokey, where he can dry out. They’re concerned with the fact that it’s been going on two years since Tha Carter III came out, and he’s yet to come up with a followup, despite the fact that it couldn’t possibly require much in the way of effort. And they figure some time in jail might be good for his buzz, like it was for Gucci Mane. I just hope he doesn’t end up dying in there, under weird circumstances, like Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, or the Levert brother who got behind on his child support. I’m sure the anal sex won’t be an issue, but I hear those sizzurp withdrawals are no joke.

  • General

    Obviously we aren’t aware of all the details of the case, but as soon as the DA got the DNA evidence admitted Wayne copped a plea in a hurry…

    You had me dyin with the shit in the blog though Bol especially this shit about the need for The Smoking Gun to investigate Baby

  • abdulnasir

    1st, whatever the case, this is only gonna make weezy bigga!

  • capcobra

    another rapper facing a yr in jail…who started this trend?..lil kim?..FUCK THE HIP HOP POLICE!!!

    • dex

      Pac started it when he had a number one album while serving time on a bogus charge

  • Grimey G

    Even in PC he can still kiss guys, just probably not on the lips this time. Maybe Rick Ross can ask some of his CO buddies to watch Waynes back.

  • oskamadison

    Rappers doing dumb shit and then going to jail for it…there’s a novel concept.

  • sealsaa

    Once again, in contrast to the sentence that T.I. recieved, you have to wonder what kind of deal T.I. struck…

  • Worley

    “Smelling marijuana” has been a pretext for sometime now. It’s right up there with having “too much” air freshner. I don’t even burn in the whip anymore. I just hit the L before I leave.

    • Lowedwn

      co-sign that all day, that shit is just not worth the kill to my buzz dealing with 5-0.

  • Chilly Willy

    “I’m sure the anal sex won’t be an issue, but I hear those sizzurp withdrawals are no joke.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    ROFL!!!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Aspiring rappers take note: the street cred/”keep it real” ante has officially been upped.
    Maybe this was some intricate, chess game plot by Drake to get Weezy out of the way. Like I always say, never trust a nigga without a mustache.

    • Lowedwn

      Like I always say, never trust a nigga without a mustache.

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

      Ahhhh, Grands almost forgot who dropped that pearl of wisdom, lmao, it’s funny because it’s true. Take Carl Weathers for example, with a mustache, that’s Appollo “Living In America” Creed, without one he’s just a very questionable looking brother named Carl Weathers.

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

        Lowe!

        Or even Yosemite Sam & Elmer Fudd.

        Sam wore his heaters, in plain view & would let you know how much of a varmint he thought you were before chopping niggas down.

        Elmer punk ass tricked Daffy Duck dozens of times on some “huntin’ fa dat wascally wabbit” shit, only to blast Daff’s bill backwards.

        Sneaky ass motherfuckers…

        • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

          !!!!!!!!!!

          Haaaahahahahaa!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    It’s all funny, but the realization is that NY don’t play when it comes to getting boxed in for toast.

  • latino heat

    damn Bol, you and Ron Mex are on fire today.

  • Shawty J

    Good drop, Bol.

    The Hip-Hop police ain’t no joke, they got this nigga arrested over his manager’s gun. The gun that’s registered to his manager, the gun that the manager said was his own television. If they would’ve got Wayne on drug charges I’d be ready to LMAO, but this is just kinda messed up.

  • The Southern Comfort

    Loved the south park reference Bol, i can’t believe this shit has actually gone to trial, as you said there are reports weekly of weezy getting arrested for all sorts of things (do the cops get a cheque for the publicity?) so i reckon the detox conspiracy may have some merit…

  • Escobar9300

    Speaking of Dallas Penn, where has big homie been at? Haven’t seen a drop from him after that one about spending the night in lockup. Last 6 months dude really stepped his blog game up, hope to see him back.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      dallaspenn.com

  • Escobar9300

    Big homie not on XXL anymore?

  • BIGNAT

    “Lil Wayne’s Jewish lawyer also felt it important to point out that Lil Wayne was in his underwear, with between 12 and 20 other guys, when the search went down. (Whether or not Baby’s underage bride was there, I’m not sure.)”
    say it with me WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • caino

    Stoopid having said loaded gun! tho l dont understand how he gets the blame when the manager already admitted it was his!!

    Tho he does need to dry out so a year in the pokey should help him, cos Carter III was total balls, worst money l spent on an album, since l bought Afroman in a moment of madness!!

  • Brooklyn

    as suspect as i find wayne’s behavior, i wouldn’t be surprised if he planned this whole thing just to get arrested and thus be able to kiss all the niggas that he wants. y’all know if he get locked up he gonna get raped, right? some lonely nigga might wake up in the middle of the night, eyes all full of cold and shit, and see wayne in the right light and think he looks like whoopi goldberg or india arie.

  • Mika

    oh yeah i know bout that sizzzzurr withdrawl …. i swear i woulda never touched this shit if i knew there was such a thing as ‘withdrawl’ …. relapse for the fourth time in 3 years i think …. and cottdamn the side of lips torn bad ! damn i gotta get offa this stupid shit

  • Real Rap!

    Please Brothers, Go Read A Book And Stop Wasting Your Time Commenting On “News” That Is Irrelevant To Your Lives. You Don’t Want To End Up Like Lil Wayne, Do You? Rise Above This Non-Sense And Educate Yourselves With Material That Is Worthy, Not This Garbage. XXL, Please Post Something Enlightening For A Change. That Is All

  • CoMiK

    Weezy should just use the Chewbacca Defense.