Uncle Rush just can’t catch a break

You know you just said some morally questionable bullshit, when David Letterman, in the week we found out he fucks a lot of the girls on his staff, has to cut you off mid-sentence and be like, “Hold on a sec. That’s some morally questionable bullshit right there!”

Honestly, I don’t see the problem with David Letterman getting some stank in the workplace, even if it was women who worked under him, who thought they might get a raise out of it. (I guess there aren’t any women who work over him.) I’d drop a load on a 60 year-old woman, if I thought there was money to be made. But the point remains.

Yesterday, a guy sent me a link to a post on a site I’d never heard of about how Russell Simmons has Kim Kardashian out shilling for the blood diamond industry. I’m not gonna lie – I just skimmed it. Some of us have to work for a living. It looks like most of it has to do with the fact that the blood diamond trade is bad news, mmkay? Which I was already aware of. The operative bit was the video, at the very end, of Kim Kardashian on Letterman the other day.

You might want to check out the video anyway, to see Kim K’s cans jiggle, as she makes her way from backstage to Letterman’s sofa. (If there isn’t already a pr0n spoof of the Late Night with David Letterman, perhaps she can be incorporated. You know she does pr0n.) But it’s a fascinated video. I had no idea celebrities and corporations were using these shows to shill like that. I haven’t seen one of these late night talk shows since back when my parents used to drop me off at my grandparents’ house to avoid having to raise me (they didn’t have cable), and they’ve been dead for quite some time now.

I know, from having studied the incident when Bill Hicks was booted from his umpteenth and (as it turned out) final appearance on Letterman as if it was the goddamn Zapruder film, that these interviews are meticulously prearranged and vetted by the TIs and their lawyers. It’s not like Letterman could have had Kim Kardashian on to talk about her latest interracial pr0n film, and she just launched into a spiel about how we should sweat the rape of Africa’s precious natural resources, because she’s been there and checked it all out. So Letterman had to be in on this as well, and honestly, I’m a lot more concerned with that than I am with him having sex with a woman from his job – one of the few places a man might be able to meet a decent woman.

Speaking of which, before I took off for work yesterday, I checked Rush’s Global Grind, to see if they had anything on it, but instead I found a post by Rush himself going off on the New York Times, for doing yet another story on the predatory nature of the Rush Card. Like I said, the post on Kim Kardashian was on a site no one ever heard of – so it could be that it didn’t pop up in their radar, or they figured it was so obscure they could just let it blow over without even addressing it. As long as none of these rap magazines decide to do a story on it. Honestly, I’m not even sure why he bothered to issue a response to the Times story. I can’t imagine very many people who read Global Grind would have heard of it otherwise. Notice how hip-hop-related stories from the Times don’t turn up until two or three days after they appear in the print version of the paper. And this site is updated by journalists who live in New York. No shots!

I was letting people know about the predatory nature of the Rush Card, before it was all trendy. I’ve written about it here as far back as the spring of ’06, when I first started blogging for this site, and I’ve probably mentioned it on my own site as well. I first became aware of it back in like ’03, when I was still in college. As business majors, we had to subscribe to Business Week, which we discussed in a class called Business Policy. The week Rush was on the cover of Business Week, we just so happened to be doing a unit on environmentalism, so we spent quite a bit of time discussing the so-called CEO of hip-hop. It was a trip watching my professor, a 70 year-old Mormon guy who would often go off on a jag about the antics of drunken Native American Indians, discuss Def Jam, Phat Farm and what have you. This wasn’t the kind of school where you could take a class on 2Pac, as if he’s worthy of that level of academic inquiry. Phyllis Schlafly perhaps.

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend to be an expert on Russell Simmons’ various business ventures. Lord knows if I paid more attention in college, I probably wouldn’t be thinking about rap music at this point, let alone writing about it for a living. But one of the few things I do remember learning in college is that the Rush Card is some ol’ bullshit right out of Superman III. It’s not like my college business professor was pissed off that T La Rock wasn’t invited to the VH1 Hip Hop Honors and hence had some sort of agenda. All he did was research how these cards work, which is obviously what the Times did. In his open letter to the Times, Rush called their story on the Rush Card and other such scams near slanderous. Which is hilarious to me. I’ve spent the last half a decade working on the Internets, where slander is the stock in trade, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term near slanderous.

I guess Rush figured he’s got this site, he might as well use it to push his agenda. But he probably would have been better off sending Kim Kardashian on another one of these shows, to talk about how she took a trip to the Rush Card offices, and everything looked on the up and up to her. It’s not like Russell Simmons is about to out-fact check the New York Times. But if a woman has nice enough cans, I’ll listen to pretty much anything she has to say, as will most people. And most people aren’t like me, in that they’re wise enough to know bullshit when they hear it.

  • giantstepp

    I skimmed thru this like you skimmed thru that link you were sent the other day. Boooooring! I need my few minutes back skimming thru this BS!

  • MR. UNDI$PUTED THE MOGUL

    I’M GLAD I NORMALLY HAVE MORE IMPORTANT ISH TO DO THAN READ THIS RANDOM BS, IN THESE ARTICLES YOU DO. I’VE HAD A RUSHCARD ALMOST SINCE THE BEGINNING & I’VE NEVER EVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS WITH STOLEN $$$$, OVER CHARGING OR ANYTHING. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. COMING FROM A BUSINESS MANAGEMENT & FINANCE BACKGROUND WHERE IS THS SCAM? THE INTERNET IS GREAT & F’D UP AT THE SAME TIME! YOU GOT BLACK LAZY PEOPLE WHO SIT AT A COMPUTER ALL DAY RANDOMLY HATING ON SUCCESSFUL BLACK PEOPLE SUCH AS RUSSELL SIMMONS, JAY-Z, RIHANNA, KANYE, YOU NAME IT ETC. IT’S COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!!! HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR US AS BLACK PEOPLE TO REALIZE THE SUCCESS THAT SOME OF US HAVE RECIEVED WAS EARNED & NOT JUST RANDOMLY GIVEN TO US.

    PEACE & GET MONEY!!!
    MOGUL $$$ GAME ’09!!

    • http://www.byroncrawford.com/ Bol

      >I’VE HAD A RUSHCARD ALMOST SINCE THE BEGINNING

      And that’s when I clicked close tab.

    • The Fedz

      You got that finance background from one of those TV colleges or University of Phoenix online didnt you. How can you claim to be a business manager and say I have a rush card in the same breath. Was there no bank that would let you open an account, no credit union. Fuck kinda business you think you can manage, you obviously couldnt manage your own bank account cause them the only people who actually have to use Uncle Rush’s ole bullshit card.

  • Chilly Willy

    “But if a woman has nice enough cans, I’ll listen to pretty much anything she has to say, as will most people. And most people aren’t like me, in that they’re wise enough to know bullshit when they hear it.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Self-praise, self-deprecation…..Bol is like the king of self-service (nullus)….

  • sealsaa

    Aren’t the advertisements for the card directed towards people with shitty credit to begin with? Where’s the suprise?

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Word. It’s the pocket-sized, mobile equivelant of a check cashing place, except you can load it with money. Y’all remember when Rev Run’s daughters tried to use theirs on that one episode & it was declined?

      • Chilly Willy

        It’s almost as if Rev Run’s daughter didn’t have nice enough cans, according to Bol’s theory.

        Then again he used to rave about them so much that I don’t even know what to think of his thought process anymore…..

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Rush Card=Boost Mobile

    @ Grands

    I remember that episode. Endorsement fail at it’s finest…

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Ahahahahahahahahah!

      Talking about “You can put a million dollars on this thing.”

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

      that’s an insult to boost mobile.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      HAHAHAHAHAHA

  • droopey

    Africa wanted 7.5 billion. That isnt anywhere near enough what they are owed.

    All the gold and diamonds sitting in the british and american treasuries makes me sick.

    Who cares about bald headed fugly Russel Simons.

    • GIBZ

      lol @ guys that comment on a man’s looks.

  • epinz

    yall nggz must not know shit if u think the rush card any good. i work with credit cards and anyone that knows about credit knows that the rush card is the biggest bullshit ever created and worse that a muthafucka whose tryin to uplift the hood would endorse this shit settin it back. ur b’in charged interest on ur own money and nun of this shit goes toward the credit buereu which doesnt help u bring ur credit score up. this is truley one of those thingd these crackas r tryin to do to keep nggz ignorant and hold them back. if its ur mney! than how he make a billion in revinue?….interest on ur own $….tighten up nggz!!!!!!

  • rene

    Lord knows if I paid more attention in college, I probably wouldn’t be thinking about rap music at this point, let alone writing about it for a living.

    LMFAO !!!!!

    I second that notion !

  • Brooklyn

    i find the fact that russell simmons is so concerned about the exploitation of africans in the diamond trade, while at the same time making a credit card that exploits his own negro american compatriots, very sad. furthermore, why do you need a rush card when you can go into a bank and establish a checking account? it’s a conspiracy just like kool-aide and check cashing places.

  • geico lizard

    Letterman sent the main chick he was banging through law school and after that she started dating the guy who blackmailed Letterman. Talk about ungrateful she tells daves secrets to the first guy she sleeps with.

    • capcobra

      damn.

  • Worley

    “I’d drop a load on a 60 year-old woman, if I thought there was money to be made.”

    You lady Eloise loving shitbag. Maaaaarcus.

    • Chilly Willy

      I’d have to think twice about it if the promotion means becoming Robin Givens boss….

  • Avenger XL

    Man Russell Simmons is a piece of crap. You can tell by his atitude over the years. This dude stay screaming on folks. If you have to yell at the people you work with that much either you hired your slacker family members or you are a jacked up egomanic. He tries to come accross as a hip-hop defender but he was just a leech that capitalized off being surrounded by the likes of Rick Rubin and whose brother ended up bing in one of the most iconic hip-hop groups of all time. Did you know that this bag didn’t want to manage run dmc at first he was a promoter and creating shitty 80′s R&B groups that sounded like full force. When Run-DMC got noticed. Do the history and look at how the Simmons treated Jam master Jays people upon his death. I bet DMC don’t F with them for more reason than his vocal chords being jacked up. Russell Simmons is a dirt bag folks

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