The ABC’s of Rap Fandom, Pt. 2 (N-Z)
Okay, kiddies, yesterday we covered A through M of rap fandom, now let’s rock N through Z. Get in where you fit in.
N: Nigga – Yes, unfortunately you can’t be considered a rap fan in my book if you haven’t uttered this word in unison with your favorite song. Sorry, but it’s the ugly truth. I know in the presence of Black folks my melanin-challenged friends do their best to hit that inner mute button during that part of the song or substitute “ninja” for nigga, but we all know in those moments alone “Ninjas With Attitudes” just won’t cut it. Besides, “Niggaz With Attitude” just rolls off the tongue much better.
O: O.D.B. – If you don’t know what this acronym stands for OMG you are so not a rap fan.
P: Pac Persona – Tupac lived a “Thug ____?” (It doesn’t get much easier than that).
Q: Queens Borough – We all know where hip-hop started, but Queens has cranked out some of the game’s biggest and brightest. Name five rappers from Queens and you’re good. (Oh, and no cheating, no triple scores for saying Run-DMC, they functioned as one cohesive unit and will be counted as such).
R: Run-DMC – Speaking of which, if you can’t identify one if not all three members of this legendary rap group then shame on you. Even though the trio has Adidas sneakers older than most of today’s rap fans you’ve got to know that the same Rev. Run you see on that MTV reality show contributed more to rap than spawning two hot daughters, or sending inspirational Blackberry messages from the comfort of his bathtub. (What’s up with that anyway?).
S: Serious – If you take everything rappers say seriously, then you don’t know this rap shit.
T: Texas Two Step – Step 1: Know a Scarface song. Step 2: Know more than just UGK’s verse on Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’.” If you’ve got these two things covered you’re good.
U: Uncle L – From his first album in 1985 to his last in 2008, LL Cool J has been in the mainstream of rap. You’ve had ample opportunity to cop and return one of his many albums. So if you have never downloaded purchased an LL LP your rap fandom just received 14 shots to the dome.
V: Vote Or Die – If you rocked a “Vote Or Die” tee during the 2004 and 2008 elections and plan to bust it out again in 2012 you’re definitely a rap fan—with a very worn out campaign slogan. But, hey, whatever works.
W: Who Is She? – Asking whom Common rhymes about on “I Used To Love H.E.R.,” says more about your intelligence than rap fandom. In the end they’re both at a low level. (Bonus points if you know what the H.E.R. acronym stands for).
X: XXX – It’s crude, lewd and all of the above, but Too Live Crew’s “Pop That Pussy” is one of the greatest rap songs ever. If you haven’t heard it you’re either not a rap fan or your parents did a remarkable job depriving raising you.
Y: Ying Yang Thing: “Wait ’til you see my _______.” Fill in the blank and you’re a rap fan.
Z: Zero Tolerance – Rap fans should not argue rap with anyone who says “this is not music.” (Ahem, Bill O’Reilly…again).
That’s all folks. How’d you do? —Rondell Conway