Consider this one yet another episode of True Recession Stories. Today’s subject: Poppa Diddy Pop.
Here’s the Rap-Flavored Blog Reader’s Digest version of what went down on The Colored TRL earlier this week. Puffy rapes Estelle’s twin sister and the best of his Danity Kane leftovers, then wipes his bloody dick off on one of Jay-Z’s best songs.
[Blogger’s Note: I had been meaning to get after Puffy for his molestation of “Where I’m From” for some time now.]
Uneasy partners Puffy, Dawn Richard and Kalenna visit The Negro Channel to promote Dirty Money’s single “Angels”. Instead of coming out onto the set of 106 and Park like civilized human beings, they decide to generate some attention, despite already being on TV promoting themselves. The trio emerges tossing wads of dirty money and dirty Dirty Money money into audience members’ faces.
That’s not a euphemism. Some of those niggas caught actual facials.
[Blogger's Note: I'm really happy for you, Puffy. And, I'mma let you finish, but UGK had one of the best Dirty Monies of all time! So did Clipse!]
Somewhere in the fracas, Diddy loses a ring he values at $20,000. Apparently the shit slips off unbeknownst to him until he’s about to leave. He should have checked Terrence, who had to maintain his coontastic alacrity despite being slighted for requesting a Dirty Money chain.
Instead, he treats the entire room of children he’d just pandered to like they were visiting Shyne at Clinton Correctional. Did Puffy really have to drum up Soul Plane security for what really amount to a trinket for a nigga of his financial stature? You could chalk this one up to the recession if you weren’t already aware that this nigga is a massive cockface. You can’t blame hard times on a mass demoralization of this magnitude.
[Blogger's Note: I just got off the phone with Shyne, myself. We talked. He's doing good and can't wait to get back to work.]
Is a diamond-encrusted ring you lost doing something really stupid worth the distaste of thousands of fans who will help you make more than you should off of some hungry, confused young ladies contractually obligated to do your bidding?
I guess that’s the $20,000 question.
The funniest part is how details are still emerging, indicating how little of a fuck this Puffy nigga gives. Some inner city youth named Karma Chameleon is gonna show that ring off at school this week.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Wow. Puff got these chicks talkin about “organic”. No D-Roc. firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S.: What the fuck is up with those nonsensical sports/Trey Songz analogies Puffy made that afternoon? Sometimes I wonder what that nigga be smoking.
P.P.S: I’m an old nigga. He’ll never not be “Puffy” to me.