Dirty Money in Your Mouth

Consider this one yet another episode of True Recession Stories. Today’s subject: Poppa Diddy Pop.

Here’s the Rap-Flavored Blog Reader’s Digest version of what went down on The Colored TRL earlier this week. Puffy rapes Estelle’s twin sister and the best of his Danity Kane leftovers, then wipes his bloody dick off on one of Jay-Z’s best songs.

[Blogger’s Note: I had been meaning to get after Puffy for his molestation of “Where I’m From” for some time now.]

Uneasy partners Puffy, Dawn Richard and Kalenna visit The Negro Channel to promote Dirty Money’s single “Angels”. Instead of coming out onto the set of 106 and Park like civilized human beings, they decide to generate some attention, despite already being on TV promoting themselves. The trio emerges tossing wads of dirty money and dirty Dirty Money money into audience members’ faces.

That’s not a euphemism. Some of those niggas caught actual facials.

[Blogger's Note: I'm really happy for you, Puffy. And, I'mma let you finish, but UGK had one of the best Dirty Monies of all time! So did Clipse!]

Somewhere in the fracas, Diddy loses a ring he values at $20,000. Apparently the shit slips off unbeknownst to him until he’s about to leave. He should have checked Terrence, who had to maintain his coontastic alacrity despite being slighted for requesting a Dirty Money chain.

Instead, he treats the entire room of children he’d just pandered to like they were visiting Shyne at Clinton Correctional.  Did Puffy really have to drum up Soul Plane security for what really amount to a trinket for a nigga of his financial stature? You could chalk this one up to the recession if you weren’t already aware that this nigga is a massive cockface. You can’t blame hard times on a mass demoralization of this magnitude.

[Blogger's Note: I just got off the phone with Shyne, myself. We talked. He's doing good and can't wait to get back to work.]

Is a diamond-encrusted ring you lost doing something really stupid worth the distaste of thousands of fans who will help you make more than you should off of some hungry, confused young ladies contractually obligated to do your bidding?

I guess that’s the $20,000 question.

The funniest part is how details are still emerging, indicating how little of a fuck this Puffy nigga gives. Some inner city youth named Karma Chameleon is gonna show that ring off at school this week.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Wow. Puff got these chicks talkin about “organic”. No D-Roc. ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: What the fuck is up with those nonsensical sports/Trey Songz analogies Puffy made that afternoon? Sometimes I wonder what that nigga be smoking.

P.P.S: I’m an old nigga. He’ll never not be “Puffy” to me.

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    We know Puff is mad salty ([]) over that ring. The sentimental value is he paid for it.

    I would have BEEN hit 47th Street & stopped @ Lord & Taylor before I hit David Z’s.

    Before the fuzz get involved because you know that’s Puff’s next move.

    No insurance Sean John? That’s what you get for making it rain on kids with dollar bills like they’re hoes. Should have did fives.

  • Chilly Willy

    Diddy (making it rain):”Take that, take that, take that….”

    Unknown nigga (picking up diamond ring):” I wasn’t gonna take that, but hey if you insist…”

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    Puffy rapes Estelle’s twin sister and the best of his Danity Kane leftovers, then wipes his bloody dick off on one of Jay-Z’s best songs.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    LMAO

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    D-Roc really needs to tell Douche Nozzle P that the whole move was maaad unorganic.

    I don’t hink he lost anything but his self respect, but that happened years ago. In today’s niggatainment industry, as far as I’m concerned, everything that makes no goddamned sense is a publicity stunt.

    My wedding band cost like $50, & ain’t it no way in hell that the shit’s slipping off my finger. & I wear my shit washing the dishes.

    Dude could’ve turned the whole thing into “giving back to the community”. Instead, he turned the shit into the gambling spot scene in Madame Xenobia’s, word to Sidney Portier & Bill Cosby.

    Puff: Next week, let’s do it again….

    Dirty Money: Yeeeaahhhhh…

    *eveybody’s not going to get that whole reference, but those who do, 50 brownie points*

  • Zulu1925

    @ Tony Grands

    The underwear some of those folks had on during the robbery was BANANAS!

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      @Zulu1925

      Hahahahaha!

      Don’t spend your brownies all in one place!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Blockbuster list 4 today:

    Uptown Saturday Night
    Let’s Do It Again
    Bucktown
    Shaft In Africa

    Good looking Grands…

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      *bonus cuts*

      Claudine
      Cooley High
      Cornbread Earl & Me

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        Ha! You’re on point ’cause they didn’t have USN, so I copped Cooley High.

        Next are grape swishas & I’m in. It’s raining & the game’s ’bout to come on soon. Y’all already know who I’m going for.

      • ProDunkgirl

        Cosign………All of the Bonus cuts! Can we add Mohagany too?

  • Neibo

    oh yea, Claudine, can’t forget that flick, the one with James Earl Jones costaring…

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Dianne Carol, with her back in the day fine ass.

      Lmao @ J. E. Jones hiding in the closet when the social work went to the house.

      • Worley

        Best part is JE Jones hiding under the table when Cochise bust in the bar.

        “Terrence, who had to maintain his coontastic alacrity.”

        Aside from the commercials and bullsh*t sweepstakes, that grinning idiot Terrence is the main reason I stopped watching the colored TRL. He’s a n*gga I want to slap all the time.

  • AZ40

    Hell yeah the recession done hit hard this nigga makin’ it rain wit real and fake money, he mixed that shit in like an 80′s sample…can’t stop won’t stop,pleas stop puff

  • Detroit P

    Is a diamond-encrusted ring you lost doing something really stupid worth the distaste of thousands of fans who will help you make more than you should off of some hungry, confused young ladies contractually obligated to do your bidding?

    I guess that’s the $20,000 question.
    ^^^^
    Oh Shit…You spittin that Fire

  • Shawty J

    “Puffy rapes Estelle’s twin sister and the best of his Danity Kane leftovers, then wipes his bloody dick off on one of Jay-Z’s best songs.”

    Ron, you left out the part where he dragged his sack across Biggie’s corpse, again.

  • capcobra

    karma a trip…somebody throw money at puff and shine shoots til he’s locked up for 10 yrs…10 yrs later shine is home and puffy throwing dirty money at fans and then lose a 20k ring in the process..it’s just something strange about that…puff should’ve just did a “welcome home shine” campaign instead.

  • mobucks

    “Is a diamond-encrusted ring you lost doing something really stupid worth the distaste of thousands of fans who will help you make more than you should off of some hungry, confused young ladies contractually obligated to do your bidding?”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    As diddy conciously asks himself this question?

    Satan reminds him of his newlyfound treat..
    “confused young ladies contractually obligated to do your bidding?”

  • Brooklyn

    y’all don’t understand the sentimentality that that ring had for diddy. it was the one that fonsworth bentley gave him on the night of their sixth month anniversary while they were walking hand and hand along the beach at saint tropez and fonsworth was holding an umbrella up for diddy because it was a full moon and he was afraid the moon’s light would cause his proactiv to become reactive.

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