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Chicago stay losing

In the past 24 hours alone, Chicago lost the chance to host the 2016 Olympics, and Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s Fame Kills tour, aka the Gay Tour, has been canceled – not to mention yet another kid getting his head split open to the white meat. If things keep on at this rate, Chicago is gonna be the next St. Louis.

It’s a little known fact that St. Louis was once the fourth largest city in the US. Now it’s not even in the top 50. We even once had an Olympics here. Back in the ’90s, there was talk about bringing the ’04 Olympics here, but the Olympics commission heard about it was like, “You aren’t serious, are you?” The only reason to come to St. Louis is if you want to become a homeowner on less than $12,000 a year, because you work in hip-hop journalism.

One thing I’ve learned about Chicago, in reading up on the Derrion Albert killing, is that it was hardly an aberration. It took place on a day when there had already been a shooting at or near the school. Remember when a school shooting alone was enough to make the national news? When I was in high school, there was always a school getting shot up, and it was usually a white kid upset he couldn’t get any stank on his hanglow. I guess the kind of school shootings they have in Chicago don’t count as school shootings per se, since they don’t fit the profile. They’re more along the lines of run of the mill street crime – they just happen to involve high school students.

Last school year, 30 some-odd Chicago high school kids were killed, mostly in shootings. This year, there’s already been a few, despite the fact that school has only been in a few weeks. I’ve read that this year, there might be even more killings than there were last year. Granted, this was before Nas wrote that letter. At any rate, it seems insane to me that so many high school kids could get killed in a year, and we hardly heard about it. At my high school, there was plaque for the only guy who went there who ever died, and he died of cancer.

This morning, a mere matter of minutes before it was announced that the Olympics wouldn’t be coming to Chicago (shocker!), I read that Obama has seen the Derrion Albert snuff footage. A reporter asked Obama’s press secretary Robert Gibbs, the fifth Bee Gee, if Obama had seen it, and Gibbs said that he did and that he found it chilling. Whether or not he watched it 16 times in a row, like I did, and whether he saw it on World Star, sandwiched between a Rosa Acosta stretching video and a clip from the Tyra show about why black women are constitutionally incapable of growing a full, healthy head of hair, I’m not sure.

Obama couldn’t describe his viewing of the Derrion Albert snuff footage himself, because he was over in Europe somewhere trying to convince the Olympics committee to bring the games to the Chi. What an unfortunate coincidence. And it looks especially bad for him, now that Chicago got passed over, as they say in the military (via Scent of a Woman). The fact that Bill Clinton could bring those Chinese women home from North Korea, but Obama couldn’t even beat Brazil in a bid for the 2016 Olympics makes him look ineffectual by comparison.

I was informed, via Twitter, that Chicago being passed over may have had to do with it problematic mass transit system, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Derrion Albert snuff footage played a role. The whole point of the Olympics is that the city hosting it gets a shedload of money to improve its infrastructure. You can’t even breathe the air in Beijing, but China just said fuck it and built a buncha indoor stadiums. I’m sure Chicago could have found a solution to its transportation problem. But obviously, if 30 some-odd school kids are dying a year, Chicago can’t get its crime under control. China? Not so much. If those chinks so much as got caught littering during the Olympics, they probably would have been sent to one of those prisons where they harvest your organs for sale on the black market. Why do you think the US has more people in prison than China, which has like a billion people? US prisons are soft. Prisons in China are on some Josef Mengele shit.

This is a digitized, interconnected world. If Obama caught the Derrion Albert snuff footage on World Star, what’s there to say the Olympic committee didn’t as well? It’s been the main news story re: Chicago in the last week or so. The Olympic committee probably took one look at that footage and said, Fuck that shit. We might actually be better off in the country where they shot City of God. Plus, because Chicago isn’t as low class as, say, a St. Louis, and because black people in Chicago are obviously dangerous than a motherfucker, I don’t think white women in Chicago are as down with the swirl. Women in Brazil, meanwhile, are already kinda ethnically ambiguous (like some of my new favorite video hoes). I heard they love black men down there. Bill Clinton probably would have accompanied Barack Obama on his trip to Europe and secured Chicago’s bid for 2016, but he was looking forward to getting his Michael Caine on down in Rio, Skinemax-style. I can hardly blame him.

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