I got to thinking the other day that we(the respective rap fan collective) were witnessing another golden era of Hip-Hop music thanks to the internets. Every sub-genre of rap music is clearly represented at this moment. From old man rap(Rae) to lightsaber rap(Jay), from fashionista rap(Yeezy) to retard rap(Weezy), from hardbody smashmouth rap(Ruck) to soft silky smooth Reebok rap(Fab) everyone is getting the shit they love to fux with. What more could we ask for?
But then I was watching a web interview that DJ Whoo Kid was having with Ghostface when Whoo Kid mistakenly asked Ghost about the Wu-Tang Killa ‘Wasps’. Maybe Whoo Kid doesn’t know what the fux he was talking about, or maybe Whoo Kid is from the future and he is telling us about a rap sub-genre that we need to recognize. I think Whoo Kid is from the future. Why haven’t we embraced White Anglo-Saxon Protestant rap yet? Who in the rap game would be able to talk that “money ain’t a thing” shit better than a WASP?
Think about that. All that fancy shit that rappers brag about is the standard shit that a WASP sees on the everyday. The Carnegies, the Vanderbilts, the DuPonts and the Rothschilds wipe their asses with dollar bills. They still have slaves for crissakes! How hardbody is that?!? All these rappers that dream about luxurious shit are wearing the WASPs old shoes and hand me downs. I want to hear what the new-new-NEW shit is gonna be. Maison Martin Margiela? Nah nigga, Silver Saturn Spaceship status.
WASPs be having that shit that even regular white ain’t allowed to touch. Like that shit so exclusive that when they check your DNA you will be denied access. That GATTACA fly shit. That shit where all the Uma Thurman clones walk around naked. Not even BeYonce can get up in there. Her shows have to be televised via satellite because her DNA ain’t right. That WASP shit is that exclusive and the rap game needs to hear about it. That’s it, I’m determined to A & R the first WASP rap superstar. I’m going to the campus of Bard College.