The Legend of John Budden

It’s been a slow, yet tumultuous past couple days for a nigga. Don’t ask me how that’s possible, but please pardon the extended MIA. As an olive branch, here’s a 2-for-1 courtesy of our friends over at TheBoombox.com that rehashes the epic [fail] Saigon vs. Joe Budden clash in a very special, but unintentional way. [Blogger's Note: Except when Saigon is rehashing it himself to give you a reason to remember him.] They’re not sponsoring this Negro Please shit or anything. They just put 2 stories into one piece, so I’ll give you my thoughts on both.

I actually saw the infamous Joe Budden prostitution clip a few days ago when it was posted on The Ghetto’s Finest News Source. I didn’t even want to fuck with it because there’s been entirely too much Joe Budden talk these past few months, and we’ve already established that he needs to turn the fucking camera off.

But, fuck it. As I said earlier, it’s been a slow week. Let’s discuss.

“First of all, prostitutes, a lot of the times, have much cleaner pussy than regular girls…It’s the bitch’s job to fuck. You don’t think that bitch is taking care of her pussy?”

–Joe Budden, JumpoffTV via HipHopWired.com

For those who don’t understand the context of such a strange and outlandish claim, it comes from one of Joey’s many misguided video streams in which he details his propensity for calling up sex workers when he needs his Budden polished. Surely Mr. Jumpoff is onto something when he suggests that jumpoffs for hire have added incentive to keep the stoochie un-cank—or cankless, s’il vous plait. However, just because they have incentive doesn’t mean they do. Ain’t enough Massengill and Monistat in the world to deal with the consistent side-effects of getting your shit shredded to picadillo all day err day. Granted, not all women who get their shit shredded to picadillo are hoes, but we know hoes are women who get their shit shredded to picadillo all day err day. [Blogger’s Note: See how that works? Concentric circles and shit.]

And sorry we ain’t all just eager trick-ass niggas whereas we instinctively pay pros for the cot. As if. I can’t speak for the rest of you all, but when I gets mine it’s off the strength of my generally being that nigga, as they say. By the reflexive property of being that nigga, all who fit into the aforementioned category reserve the right and responsibility to be selective about whomever they decide to chop down.

[Blogger’s Note: Protected sex and monogamous relationships are the way to go, children. But don’t take it from me. Take it from our volunteer correspondents Stanky Legg Steve and Torrie, the Unintentional Slide Piece Who Hops From Dick to Dick Because Her Father Never Loved Her.]

If Tahiry hasn’t fully left this nigga, she should have after hearing this shit. That is, unless she’s already just resigned to the hot sauce on her picadillo. In which case, she’d better not cry about it when Joey and his webcam are gone like Big Pun’s widow. Unless, of course, Joe’s philosophy on sex workers explains more than it should about the origins of their relationship.

[Blogger's Note: I mean, damn. You just can't do enough for some hoes.]

Shit like this is exactly why rappers shouldn’t inherently be role models, children. I swurr fo’ gawd, this nigga Joe Budden will have you putting Neosporin all over your shit and setting it on a Ziploc bag full of ice instead of going to the doctor because you’re too embarrassed to tell your folks you been spending your allowance on hoes.

I mean… You clearly didn’t spend it on that Slaughterhouse, right?

Ok, aye. Well damn! This shit went on a little longer than expected, so I’m gonna holler back tomorrow about that ol’ crazy shit Saigon said.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Hoes? Really, Joe? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: I can’t call a winner in this Joe Budden vs. Saigon thing as both niggas seem pretty well versed in etherization of the self variety and continue to push the limits.

  • Church

    Church!

    “Tom Tom, this isn’t a woman, this is a Bitch. Some niggas can’t cross bridges, you can’t hit a bitch.”

  • SOMETHIN NEW

    And people wonder why Slaughterhouse didn’t sell.

    • 123

      It didn’t sell because they’re on an independant label and didn’t get a lot of promotion… internet ain’t shit.

  • ri067953

    Yo, it really depends on what kind of hoes you messing wit. If you fucking with them broads off the side of the road, you messing with some dirty poon. However, if you calling up some upscale hookers, then they will always make you use a rubber.

    When you dealing with some broad you met at the bar and she is sauced up, lord knows she will let you raw dog if you get her in the right spot so in that sense, some prostitues are cleaner than regular broads.

  • http://dronkmunk.com dronkmunk

    “Granted, not all women who get their shit shredded to picadillo are hoes, but we know hoes are women who get their shit shredded to picadillo all day err day.”

    Not if they are getting shredded by the same dude err day.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    I don’t trust a broad to keep a clean ‘tang until I see a Massengil box in the bathroom garbage can.

    Just because the outside seems well taken care of doesn’t mean the inside isn’t deteriorating as she slids off the draws.

    Indeed Mex, condoms & monogomy are the safest lanes to occupy. One thing I don’t miss since I got married is worrying about what possible “gifts” the broad is leaving me when she bounces. Ain’t much worse than the anticipation of an AIDS test. Well, AIDS itself, but that’s neither here nor there.

    Can’t say I’ve ever fucked with a prostitute, but macking a broad, buying her some weed to smoke & something to drink for the night, just to skeet-skeet is inadvertently the same thing I guess.

  • AZ40

    “you clearly didn’t spend it on slaughterhouse?” LOL

    Hell naw rappers shouldn’t be inheritly role models and I don’t believe they are I think it’s the money they “obtain” is what the chil’ren look up to

  • BIGNAT

    “I can’t call a winner in this Joe Budden vs. Saigon thing as both niggas seem pretty well versed in etherization of the self variety and continue to push the limits.”
    that is because no one even cares none of them will win

  • hate

    “this nigga Joe Budden will have you putting Neosporin all over your shit and setting it on a Ziploc bag full of ice instead of going to the doctor because you’re too embarrassed to tell your folks you been spending your allowance on hoes.”

    madd funny son

  • that nigga

    I can’t speak for the rest of you all, but when I gets mine it’s off the strength of my generally being that nigga, as they say. By the reflexive property of being that nigga, all who fit into the aforementioned category reserve the right and responsibility to be selective about whomever they decide to chop down.
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    You aint neva lied. Preach my nigga, preach!

  • fatDAN

    Holy fuck my man! That shit is hilarious. A ho will always be a ho. They will do anything, literally anything for a buck. If you are that hard up for the poony, you better watch out. When you see that ho at night, you don’t know what she has been doing all day with her snatch. You know she hasn’t been keeping it rested and on ice just for you fool. Shit, time is money and a sleeping snatch is a broke snatch. Just like them dudes that start licking pussy at a strip joint, oooooow! STD’s are no joke, they can get you bumpy.

  • Sleepy Wonder

    Royce Da 5’9″
    Joell Ortiz
    Crooked I
    Saigon

    Anyone?

    • Master CHeef

      big improvement.

      and lol at ron’s “etherization of the self variety”.

  • Technique

    Sleepy wonder, that would be the team.

    I like Slaughterhouse but Joe Budden is just a clown of a man.

  • G2

    ^^^^^I don’t know about Saigon, but i feel Joey came the weakest on most cuts on the SlaughterHouse album.

    And just off of the dumb shit he’s been doing and saying, I don’t think I can fuck with him anymore.