Should Nas get back with Kelis?

Nas and Kelis were spotted at an industry event the other day, all hugged up as if she didn’t just call him a fag and sue him for $44,000 a month in child support, leading to speculation that the two of them might be back together. In today’s post, I look at the pros and cons of Nas getting back with Kelis.

With all due respect, past and present, and without further to do.

Pros

1) Nas could save a shedload of money, even more than he’d save switching his car insurance to Geico.

I don’t know what the little homey did to get back into Kelis’ good graces (I’m thinking he probably gave her some drugs), but whatever he did, he needs to capitalize on that shit. He needs to have his lawyer draw up an agreement saying never mind about the $44,000 a month he was supposed to be paying her, and he needs to have her sign that shit, before the E pills wear off. If he would have been thinking, he would have had his lawyer draw up such an agreement as soon as he got stuck for such an exorbitant fee. But obviously he wasn’t. He’s Nas, fer chrissakes. If he had the sense god gave geese, he wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. Getting Kelis to sign such an agreement would probably necessitate getting back with her, at least temporarily. She’s not gonna give him his money back so he can just go spend it on some other broad.

2) Nas could make sure Knight Rider Jones turns out straight.

It’s important for a child to have a strong male influence, even if its mother isn’t a psycho hose beast. We’ve already seen how Kelis wouldn’t let Nas be in the building when Knight Rider Jones was born. If Nas can’t at least get on good terms with Kelis, he might not get to spend very much time with his son, leaving the poor bastard to be raised by Kelis, and whoever she has over to help her spend that $44,000 a month. And that $44,000 a month alone might not be enough to convince her to let Nas spend enough time with Knight Rider to make sure he grows up nice and straight, if he couldn’t be in the delivery room, despite all of those gift cards he gave her. Nas getting back together with Kelis might be Knight Rider Jones’ only hope.

Cons

1) Kelis looks like shit now.

My bad, Nas and Kelis. There’s probably a more delicate way I could have put that. But the point remains: Kelis just ain’t what she used to be. Nas already had her for the best time you could possibly have her, or at least the tail end of it, and it’s never gonna be that good ever again. In those pictures of the two of them the other day, she looks like somebody’s mom. I couldn’t pop so much as a semi looking at her, and you have to wonder if Nas is able to. Even if he can, that vagine is probably stretched beyond all recognition. Or there’s a c-section scar. Neither of which is a reality you want to face, if you’re the guy who wrote Illmatic. I know I’d like to think that, if I ever contributed anything worthwhile to society (it’s a hypothetical, go along with it), I would be rewarded with a quality woman.

2) Once a psycho hose beast, always a psycho hose beast.

Just because she’s not pregnant anymore doesn’t mean she won’t just flip on you all of a sudden. Women who have already given birth have been known to be even more crazy than women who are merely pregnant. We’ve all heard those stories about women who drown their babies in the bath tub. If I were Nas, I’m not even sure I’d want to go over there, for a few more months, except to make sure the baby is alright. But let’s say she does get her mind right, and the two of them get back together. It’s only a matter of time before she flips out on him again. He could end up getting back with her only to get divorced again, which could end up costing him more money than not bothering in the first place.

  • DetroitDraper

    Yea its sad because once a female has done something to you like that, no matter how much you love her you know it can/will happen again…

    MAYN HOL’UP J7M

  • Brooklyn

    there’s this old song that my grandmother plays when she and her friends are playing cards, and the dude on it is like “it’s cheaper to keep her.” hell, if i was gonna save that much money by keeping kelis pacified i’d get back with her too, no matter how run down she looks now. every woman is pretty in the dark, and besides saving money by not having to pay her alimony and child support, he could save a hell of a lot of money on his light bill by cutting the lights off and thinking about kim kardashian while he’s hitting that.

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    I love Nas but he needs to stop. He’s 3 years away from being on Maury waiting to find out if the next baby is his or not…

    J7M!

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Man, if he really gets back with her he’s fuckin up. I know it’s cheaper to keep her, but the shit just won’t work out. I’d be there for the kid, but I’ve already been through shit like that and a bitch or a nigga just won’t change. It’ll be ok for a minute then it’ll go back to shit. Mark my words, she’s still gonna get that money. It’s a big loss for the lil homey. The only way he can get out of this is to pull off some incredible shit is if he goes back to being the “Illmatic” Nasir and creating some crazy intergalactic linguistics shit that will fuck her head up on some “Jedi Mind Trick” shit a la Eddie Murphy and Mr. T. Maybe he can get her to convert to Scientology or something. Shit, now is the time to let his criminal intelligence shine through!! Speak like Leviathan

  • latino heat

    please tell me the babies name isn’t really Knight Rider Jones.

  • http://www.sylermusic.com Syler

    “1) Kelis looks like shit now.

    My bad, Nas and Kelis. There’s probably a more delicate way I could have put that.”

    Bol, your one liners have been exceptional lately.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Cats make some real valid points, but we also have to keep in mind that they were married before (2-3 years before) they even had the kid. So, there was some initial, genuine emotion driving the relationship. &, she wasn’t just some jump-off sperm receptacle. Those two factors play a part in all of this also.

    Shit gets real sketchy once a child comes into play. I’m more apt to think that dude might’ve
    fucked up (we all know how niggas get sometimes), but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t/isn’t willing to put up with a little feminine insanity to be with his family. Broads are crazy regardless, she’s just crazy & semi-famous. If it’s not her, it’s going to be the next chick getting extra-emo & blowing shit out of proportion.

    & I know from experience, there’s a lot of shit I’ll put up with to be next with my son. I won’t allow anything to destroy my mental or physical, but it would take truck loads of uber-thick bullshit to make me go away for good.

    If he didn’t want to be bothered, they wouldn’t have been together in those pictures, laughing & smiling & shit. Keep in mind, NaS is a SDN, not a DDN.

    He was going to have to pay regardless, so the fact that Kelis isn’t on his payroll is a bonus. He still has to maintain that “lavish” lifestyle she was accustomed to, it’s just not court-ordered.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      “Sh*t gets real sketchy once a child comes into play.”

      Exactly.

  • giantstepp

    Co-sign Tony Grands.
    I think it’s genuine emotion between the two. Add the fact that they share a child now, you have them giving it another shot at least. And it is cheaper to keeper but living in misery with some broad you cant stand the sight of is almost (almost snitches) worth paying to get out of….depends on the amount I guess.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Word, Gstepp.

      It’s different variables, so we’ll never truly know the nature of their relationship, but I think all of us can agree that a wife is definitely not the same as your girl, a jump-off or an accidental baby’s mom.

      In most instances, @ least.

  • AZ40

    That nigga name is Knight Rider Jones lol…Anyway do it for the kid’s sake and save that money two birds w/ one stone

  • geico lizard

    Whatever it costs Nas to getaway from that greedy slore he just needs to pay it and run. She only wants to get back with him so she can give birth to another atm card.

    Commission!!!

    • BIGNAT

      J7M
      “She only wants to get back with him so she can give birth to another atm card.”
      that is a fucked up comment…… most likely true but still fucked up. mwhahahhaahhahahaha

  • Worley

    “she looks like somebody’s mom.”

    Yea, that milkshake doesn’t look as tasty anymore.

    Nas lost on this one. She punked him. I really don’t know what I would do in his situation other than not get into it in the first place. From where I’m standing: Ladies Man>>>>>>>Family Man.

  • The Don

    2 words- Jay-Z won

    Smartenupnas

  • brand-new

    nas needs to focus on making a hot album first, then worry about that drama….off subject…..does anyone remember 50 cent saying he gave kelis a hug and later said in an interview, “ that bitch smelled like full-court basketball” ..lol that shit just popped in my head…lol

  • Beast McCoy

    Some things like this go beyond the need for explanations. You’re better off not knowing and leaving the details to your imagination.

  • ErvGotti85

    Well I guess what Pusha T said is some of the truest words he ever spoke “It’s Cheaper To Keep Her.

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    It will save him a lotta child maintainace payments but the problem is Kelis milkshake keeps bringin’ boys 2 tha yard.

    How long it would be till another sextape co-staring her surface,ya dig?

  • Kabelo

    LOL @ Knight Rider

  • abdulnasir

    i dnt think his name is knight rider, it’s actually just “Knight”. Bol’s just making jest of the little boy’s name.

  • Who Dat?

    Nas,

    1)Pay the bitch $44K a month, don’t default on your agreement – BTW, I didn’t know you had this much money

    2) Keep away from that bitch – It will cost you more to keep her. She’ll prolly run through more than $44K a month – especially since you will be patching things up for ..ummm ever even though she was the one in the mix, sorry sex-tape.

    3) At all costs, don’t have another kid with her.

    4) I know you want to be close to your son but you did this with the wrong woman. You are going to have to raise your boy from a distance. At least your boy will still see a man for a father. Or you can raise him from close – under Kellis skirt – and have your son see a bitch for a dad.

    5) Go back in the studio and make a classic. Shore up the true hommies around you and circle the wagons. Avoid TV, you look slow or blunted – It could be a combinations of both though, either which way it doesn’t look good.

    6) Get yourself a fine woman or better yet become an eligible bachelor – this may prove hard with Kellis being the albatros tied to your neck but at all costs don’t date an ugly woman or some VH-1 reality celebrity, keep your shit exclusive. I mean you made Illmatic dude.

    7) Pick up the Quran…you need help bro.

  • abdulnasir

    @who dat, co-sign on No. 7 and i wouldn’t go near this bitch unless i had to, which in nas’s case, nigga has to!

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