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Is Ghostface Killah trying to tell us something?

It’s always good to see a new uncut video.

For a minute there, it seemed like the emergence of sites like World Start Hip Hop and Vlad TV would herald a new golden age of uncut videos. But they haven’t, really. Sure, they’re filled with pr0nography, especially World Star, and god bless them for it, but most of it is in the form of cam hoo-er clips, i.e. my life’s new purpose.

These days, you don’t see as many rappers taking the time out to get a bunch of broke-looking strippers, pay them $50 each (or convince them to work for free, for the exposure, like in that VH1 special), and stand around and rap in front of them, like they did in the first half of this decade. I guess they figure it’s not worth it, since there’s no such thing as BET Uncut anymore.

I wish I could explain to some of these rappers that they can reach just as many people as BET Uncut, if not more, via the Internets, and it’s not like there was ever much of a chance of any of the graduating from BET Uncut to Rap City. There isn’t even a such thing as Rap City anymore, is there? (It’s been upwards of 15 years since I’ve watched BET on a regular basis.) I’d get some hoo-ers and shoot my own uncut video, but I’m the kind of person who sits around and complains about shit, rather than actually doing something. That’s why I excel at blogging.

If there was still a such thing as BET Uncut, I wonder if they would play Ghostface’s new video, for “Stapleton Sex.” I saw yesterday where it was posted on YouTube, and it must have lasted there for all of about two hours, even though there isn’t any real nudity. I saw on Twitter where obnoxious radio host Angela Yee had posted, but I was busy working on something. Then I checked back a while later, and it was gone. I was hoping this meant “Stapleton Sex,” is downright filthy, and it is, but not in the way you’d think.

The first thing I thought when I finally caught “Stapleton Sex” at OnSmash was, “Who’s even into shit like this?” Is this Ghostface’s way of telling us he’s really into S&M? Is he one of those guys who has to have women tie him and make fun of him, in order to blow his load? (Nullus.) Does he have a safe word, in case things get out of hand? Is it something weird that only people on angel dust would think of, like the lyrics on Supreme Clientele? If so, that could be dangerous, if he’s tied up and he’s not high at the time. You know these white chicks who play with whips and chains take that shit seriously. (Or so I’ve heard.) You see what happened to David Carradine.

Or could it be that Ghost himself didn’t have much creative input with the video, other than he wanted it to be filthy, and this is what they came up with? I’m thinking that’s gotta be the case. It’s just not in a black man’s nature to be into a lot of weird pr0n. Anything other than a guy giving it to a woman via the main entry is kinda teh ghey. Then there’s that whole thing of, how much time do I want to spend looking at another guy’s peen? Though girl on girl stuff does get to be kinda boring, once you’re an adult. It’s obvious a good 90% of the women who do that shit aren’t really into it. I can tell by the look in a woman’s eye. Not to let you all in on any more than you need to know about me.

But yeah, like I was saying, all of that leather and shit is a little bit teh ghey. I’m not saying Ghostface is suspect or anything. I’m just saying. I probably would have preferred it the girls were just wearing regular clothes and going to town on one another the old fashioned way, i.e. with their tongues. I’m conservative like that. Plus, the video’s so short, and there’s so many cuts you can’t really focus on the T&A. I’m doing my part to promote “Stapleton Sex” on GP, but the next time Ghost wants to make an uncut video, he might need to holler at your boy for some direction. I won’t even charge a fee, though obviously I’ll need to be flown to the set. No fishsticks.

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