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He Can Run But He Can’t Rap!

Pound for pound Floyd “Money” Mayweather is the best boxer ever. No time to argue with my fellow fight pundits, 49-0 is enough proof. Bar for bar William “Ricky Ro$$” Roberts is one of the coldest rappers ever, no time to argue with my fellow rap pundits- three #1 albums is enough proof. Talking sh*t like boxing is a sport. If the bet’s are being waged on who’s gonna win this war of words put ya money on the fat outta shape guy with the cheap tats and gaudy jewelry not the slender in shape guy with no tats and gaudy jewelry.

I’m sure athlete’s love rap music. Rap unlike most musical art forms ain’t 4 p*ssy’s (well as of late that’s debatable). It’s a competition set to beats. Rappers are verbal pugilist. I can see why Rap appeals to the basic competitive instincts to many athletes. I know for a fact, rappers admire athletes. Names like Jordan, Kobe, Lebron, Tyson, Jones, Mayweather, Baseball caps and throw backs (remember that fad) all have become staples in the culture and lingo of Rap.

Now I don’t know when the lines got crossed for my “fast running 360 degree basket ball dunking” brothers, but ya’ll need to get the fuck off the “Rap Field”. This ain’t to say you guys have no place in Hip Hop I think you do actually. I think your place is right in the stands cheering 4 rappers or playing team owner and bank rolling a 4profit studios, pub companies or real indie labels, not stepping on raps playing field.

Rappers understand I am not 6’6”, I am not MJ I cannot dunk and my jumper sucks. Akinyele even wrote “No Exercise” solidifying that fact. Athletes however don’t seem to get that. Their wordplay usually sucks and they can’t ride a beat to save their life. There are exceptions: Nelly is an amazing athlete, Ali was an amazing rapper, but for every Nelly there are a dozen Sticky Fingers (couldn’t fight 4 shit & lost a fight to a pro skate boarder on MTV) and for every Ali there are a dozen Kobe’s (can’t rap a xmas gifts to save his life & snitched on Shaq who is an honorary rapper, BASTARD).

I am sick of watching ESPN and Fox’s Jason Whitlock hearing how Hip Hop (code word 4 n*gger) culture is ruining sports. I’m sick of seeing guys who can afford real security shoot them damn selves, MVPs who cheat and sexually batter, drunk driving murderers and dog fighting financers have the always reliable loophole of allowing Hip Hop (n*gger) music to share the blame. If you are over 6’5” or have muscles on yo muscles you don’t have to wear gaudy monkey jewelry (n*gga we see yo tall ass) in the club.

It’s time we give Mr. Stern and Mr. Goodell what they want. They want there boys back, humble incredibly gifted “running, jumping 360-degree dunking” freaks of nature. Rappers need you too. We need you on the court to inspire lyrics, not in court becoming punch lines in them. As a rapper I promise we will big up guys and make sure your name lives in music immortality but this ain’t the playing field 4 you. In rap, cheaters are celebrated and foul play tolerated. These verbal pugilist have no rules or code of conduct. Your friends family and finance records will not be safe and even if you got more than the rap guy, he’s gonna talk way slicker and his boastful words over Toomp beats are better than you cursing a capella.

I love sports and I love athletes but we need more Bill Russell’s and Jim Brown’s and less of you “Chain rocking, shoot blocking, bottle popping n*ggas.” Steph please get back to selling kids affordable shoes (noble my brother) and get the f*ck off my laptop. You cooning dog, not cool. When rappers leave the club they write songs to chronicle that bullsh*t life and they get paid 4 that. When athletes leave the club bad things happen and they stop getting paid that ain’t good dog, ask Pac Man, Marcus Vick or Plexico. Hey, we tried but Hip Hop & athlete “job swap” experiment is a wash like a Shaq bringing the Fu Schnickens back.

For the last 20 years rapper and athletes have had a good relationship “sharing” the spotlight. Athletes do dope sh*t, rappers rap about it. The streets and sports corporations benefit, ask Nike bout the Jordan and AF1 money, Adidas and New Era too. Rappers never jump on the field of play except maybe Massa P. Those that can buy into teams; those that can’t buy tickets and watch.
Athletes should take notes from Bob Whitfield, the former Atlanta Falcon O lineman that owns Patchwerk Recording studios. He invested in the rap early by building a real studio. It did pretty good for him too. OutKast, Tip, Jeezy, and Baby all recorded platinum albums there. He lets people (what up Curt) who know what they are doing run it and he turns a profit. He plays the game like an owner not an employee. Take notes fellas the money and longevity is on the owner’s side. And unlike sports, rap pay typically sucks.

Also, stop letting rap managers be yo agents. Agents should be short guys with an incredible amount or stat knowledge, not failed pro ballers who can rap and make ‘em say ugghhhh, ask Ricky Williams. My oldest son has a baseball game 2morrow. Umma go watch Malik be the athlete I never was (word to Massa P). Peace. GTRG…BBB

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