Crash

You know being from the south gives you an opportunity to see how the racial profiling dynamic “really” works. Now….now….before errbody goes and thinks this is the moment I go all “Huey” (Newton or Boondocks), it isn’t (that ain’t what I’m saying). Not that there isn’t a need for that extreme view plus the action of protest and the threat of riot! We all know there is: the state sponsored murders of Bell & Grant, racial profiling, private prisons, basically black man hunting season in any PD in the US. So Amerikkka be happy we a peaceful people (Minister Khailids voice). I just wanna apologize on behalf of “Ye” and Our “Queen Califia” (google dat chica) Serena Williams (I know she’s a bit much 4 insecure bros but damn Common is the only rapper I envy, owwwww).

Apologize…..what?! KM tell me it ain’t so?! Yup me the writer of “That’s Life,” “Pressure” and “Bad Day Worst Day” is saying “I’m Sorry.”

I’m sorry that these two negroes lost their “cotton picking” minds this weekend, mind not to mention composer. Now ain’t nothing wrong with screaming on a line Judge “Califia” you just gotta make sure she ain’t Asian baby. Now...now I know you wanna object and the homie Com Sense right now is calling Dion (No ID 4 my number to say hey bruh….why u looking at my woman’s ass!). I’m just saying Serena that lady look just like the lady at the store my “Califia” buys a few “pieces” (code 4 weave).

Seeing your ever changing plethora of “Nu Dews” I know you ain’t doing the infusion thang like Oprah. You gotta be in the “beauty supply store” pretty regular or at least your assistant or mom or other sisters. Hence you should know there is a delicate and fragile truce between the Asian and African-American women’s community. So what you did just set us back 20 years. Do you want to return to the days when Cube wrote “Black Korean?” Sheiiiiit, you from Compton, you know how this sh*t go. You NEVER threaten the Asian lady (unless you a cute black kid with a foul mouth…”b*tch you betta gimmie my muthafugging money,” lol). This will get your azz locked up, shot or even worse, BANNED from the “weave sto.“ Now you 50 mill to the good, but what about your sista’s in the struggle; the struggle with kinky kitchens and quick weak fever. They wanna be able to walk the isles of the “weave sto” in peace un-bothered to the sounds of Chris Brown and T-Pain (Asian store’s ain’t get the “CB is banned” memo). And now because you threatened the sh*t outta that Asian lady in the fresh to death POLO jacket, these women’s experience will go like this:

AW: Sits with daughter frowning and pointing at sports section headline and pic of Serena spazzing on the line judge who resembles her aunt.

AAW: Enters “her” local “weave sto” before going to the “nail shop” next door and the African braiders a plaza over.

AAW: Um what the hell is this music ya’ll got on in here today…that sh*t irritating.

AW: This new music, no play Chris Brown any moe. You not get memo..smile.
Both women roll their eyes and turn away…

AAW: Well whateva…lawd lemme hurry up find this yacky in my color so I can go. This lady tripping today….umma call you back.
20 mins pass:

AAW still looks for her color. AW decides to “walk the floor” and adjust boxes near the AAW. Asian pop music is also louder on this particular song. Aggravated, the AAW turns to the AW.

AAW: Um excuse me, you ain’t gots to follow me, I have a good job. I don’t steal!

AW: What color you looking for?

AAW: The one in my MF’n hand, WHY!?

AW: You got yo color ok buy now and leave.

AAW What Bitch?! Leave…leave?! Do you know I will shove the yacky number 7 down yo throat? Do you?! You don’t know who you fugging wit. Uh b*tch I will whoop yo azz and TURN THAT FUGGING music off. I hate that ching chong sh*t anyway! Play some V-103. All yo customers black!

By now the young teenage Asian daughter who felt bullied by the black girl at her public high school and (teammate on the tennis team) will call the local PD who will promptly over react. The police arrive to drag the AAW out the store slam her onto the ground in full view of the public and his dash cam (this will later ensure he is fired) although he will not face charges and will be free to join another local PD.

While this happens, a group of young black male college students in skinny jeans, Kanye West Nikes and visor shades are going into the “weave sto” to buy fake diamond studs to complete their “look.” One of the college student’s develops a conscious and instead of looking away and ignoring the “abuse of a sista,” says, “Hey man, that’s a lady!” Looking up for a split second and seeing a brown man in tight denim, shades and a funny hair cut, the officer snaps. The cop see’s the monster that ripped the mic from the tender lily white clutches of the fair and pure country music maiden Taylor Swift at the VMA’a. He see’s the Black Zulu demon KANYE WEST! He flashes back to his 12 year-old daughter saying, “Daddy I hate Kanye West. Why can’t you arrest him? He was so rude to Taylor Swift.” Well now he can ….walking over to the 19 year old fashion forward college freshman he says, “Shut the F*CK UP! Seething with W.A.S.P furry, he thinks back to the two Kanye albums he bought his daughter’s older brother and how “Kanye” promoted being a college dropout (hence his son did). He even wondered was Amber Rose really white and being paraded around loosely like Jack Johnson did. KANYE WEST represents the FALL of W.A.S.P community control and here was his chance to make things right, right for his daughter, right for good Christians, right for Hannity. This was his chance to right America! He then, without giving lil’ Ye the right to remain silent, chokes the sh*t outta the kid and gives him a disorderly conduct and a weekend on Rice Street. By the time the black cop arrives, it’s to late to undo the damage that Ye and Serena have done. With out knowing it they helped to entrap a fellow brother and “sista” in the grips of the judicial system! One high school tennis star lost her mama for a weekend because her teammates mom never met her mom at the PTA. Though they had both been and did not speak to each other. A cop lost his job ensuring he’d hate all blacks forever, secretly and all rap music openly (even though Mr. West announced he is now a pop act, rappers will suffer for his indiscretion). Thanks Ye. The BM college attendee will lose focus and hope in becoming a lawyer, smoke weed, bullshit and become a public school teacher and girls tennis coach in your local high school. The AW store will return to playing CB in no time and all the people who watched that horrific sight will be back next week to ensure the “weave store” has brisk sales so the AW daughter can attend a private school next semester. Thanks YE thanks Serena. I don’t know what the f*ck Althea Gibson, Author Ashe, Chuck D and Ice Cube were thinking with all that dignity and righteous outrage sh*t. They should been wilding the fuck out and getting everybody’s head spilt…lol.

Only half serious today and I’m excited that CRASH the new season starts this week on Starz (is Starz really owned by BET?). Until tomorrow, please be kind to AW and teen W.A.S.P country music stars. The safety of the black community depends on it! Peace N*ggas….GTRGBBB