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Breaking News: Kanye West Didn’t Kill Anybody!

Whew! I was worried. I was under the impression that Kanye West had finally gone on a nationwide murder spree. I always got the impression Kanye was the type to one day snap and strangle 25 teenage white girls with Louis Vuitton shoelaces.

Fortunately, Niggapoleon’s “Big Brother” who was Big’s brother and used to be Dame and Biggs’ brother has set the record straight.

Sure. Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift’s VMA acceptance has gotten entirely too much press. Did we really need to know what Barack Obama thought of the matter? We most certainly do not when niggas still have to pour the ‘Tussin onto broken legs and shit.

Harm is relative, Jay-Z. And, no. Kanye “didn’t kill anybody.” But, sheeeeit. By this logic, when he finally does it’ll be, “It’s not like he killed a whole bunch of people! It was just one little Mexican. This shit shouldn’t be front page news.”

Instead of killing anyone, Mr. West picked on a young girl he absolutely knew would not slap him in the mouth. Let’s play out a few scenarios in our heads for discussion’s sake:

Scenario 1: Kanye West approaches the podium as Jay-Z accepts his Best Male Video award and says, “I’m really happy for you, Hov’. And, I’mma let you finish. But, Raekwon had one of the best videos of all time for ‘Walk With Me’. One of the best videos of all time!”

Scenario 2: The Manolo’s on the other foot. Jay-Z’s beautiful beeeeeeeitch is accepting her Best Female Video award for the cinematic masterpiece that is “Single Ladies”. Kanye West interrupts Beyonce for Taylor Swift’s glory. “I’m really happy for you, Bee. And, I’mma let you finish. But Taylor Dane had one of the best black voices on a white woman ever of all time! One of the best black voices on a white woman of all time!”

I’m sure neither would merely be a matter of Kanye’s honesty and generally being a “super-passionate” guy.

Passionate or not, that shit was inappropriate. That same evening one Mama, Little appeared “super-passionate” about “Empire State of Mind”. Jay-Z slapped that space cadet across her little baby nuts and told her to fall the fuck back—as he should have.

I understand there’s a vested interest in West’s public image whereas Jay-Z wishes the public were already “off that”. Put passion and even correctness aside. West wasn’t just rude. He was completely out of line. If people let this kind of thing slide, you couldn’t ever have an awards show. As for the almighty Hova, one’s opinion should be withheld when you’re the man’s boss and/or have a personal relationship with him. Not to say it doesn’t mean anything. The shit’s just inadmissible and doesn’t really help anyone.

That’s kinda like C-Murder’s sister coming to his defense. Ironically enough, Barack was asked to weigh on that shit too.

Besides, the backlash isn’t completely unwarranted. Fuck you expect? He’s got a history! Both Jay and Kanye should be breathing this shit in like antihistamines.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Ain’t gonna hurt nobody? Just dancin’ now?

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