Where were the Internet Soldiers?

One of the disadvantages of always being on the Internets is that you’re never there in real life when someone might actually need you.

Take for example the Internet Soldiers. I noticed the other day, in a video I posted on my own site, that no one really seemed to give a shit when Inspectah Deck was talking shit about Joe Budden from the stage at Rock the Bells, where Budden was also performing, i.e. some place you might actually expect the Internet Soldiers to be. I could see if it was at a Wu-Tang show, or somewhere that didn’t necessarily have anything to do with hip-hop.

Maybe the Internet Soldiers were in the building, but they saw the extent to which they were outnumbered by Wu-Tang stans, and just said, fuck it. It’s easy to sit there and talk shit when there’s no risk of a gang of 30 year-old men in smedium Wu-Wear pants (mine split back in like ’02) kicking the shit out of you, if only because they’re up to their ears in backed up semen, or the Wu themselves jumping down from the stage in the middle of a song to bite the proverbial hand that feeds, like they did in Chicago a couple of years ago. That guy must have thought he was at a Talib Kweli show.

If the Internet Soldiers can’t even show up to a Joe Budden concert, I guess it would be unreasonable to have expected them to be where Taheezo was when she recently got cold cocked by a guy. In the latest of these asinine videos Joe Budden posts on YouTube, which is ostensibly about whether or not Taheezo will allow him to bang other broads, she slips and mentions the fact that she was in a fight with a guy and lost. Unfortunately, Budden quickly changes the subject before we can find out very many details.

Hmm…

I’m just gonna throw this out there: It could be that Budden himself kicked the crap out of her, and that’s why he didn’t want her bringing it up on YouTube. She did the right thing by not naming the person who did it, but it’s only a matter of time before a brother such as myself puts 1 and 2 together. It’s not normally in an hispanic woman’s nature to just take having a shoe put her, but Tahiry might need Joe Budden more than a woman needs me, to use an example. Yeah, she was almost on the cover of an issue of King, but we know from that Game song that there isn’t any money in being a video ho. You gotta suck somebody’s dick and write a book about it, and who wants to read a book about Joe Budden? People don’t even want to buy the albums.

But saying it was Joe Budden might be giving him more credit than he deserves. I’m not sure if his status in hip-hop is such that he can lay hands on a woman and have her on the Internets pretending someone else did it. Lest we forget, Joe Budden isn’t in the top 50 rappers of all time. I’m the 29th best blogger, and I’m still about five years away from the point when I could get away with some shit. Maybe some other guy did cold cock Taheezo. I wonder how that happened. And why isn’t Joe Budden more pissed about it?

Joe Budden described it as a fight that she lost, and I’m tempted to believe this was the case. The other day, I saw my first IRL fist fight between a man and a woman. It was a trip to watch some shit like that happen in real life. I don’t know if I’d even seen a man really kick the crap out of a woman on TV, where it wasn’t dramatized. My bad, if you grew up in a house where this happened all the time, and you couldn’t be any more bored by this. You might want to skip the rest of this post.

The fight went down about exactly the way you’d expect. It started out with some arguing. The two of them were all in each other’s face, and another guy, perhaps aware of the guy’s tendency to knock a bitch right the fuck out, was trying to intervene. I wasn’t close enough to hear what it was about, but I’m assuming someone owed someone else $2. These people looked like they may have been in their 40s or 50s, and they were obviously intoxicated. They had some bottles there with them, but they may have also been on the pipe.

The crazy shit to me is that, when it finally escalated to fisticuffs, the woman put her dukes up and tried to fight the guy, as if she might win. As a guy, I wouldn’t even try some shit like that with a guy who I know could kick my ass. If I somehow manage to piss off Chuck Zito, I’m taking the fuck off running. Fuck that shit. But there this woman was, dancing on this guy as if she was Floyd Mayweather. This lasted for what seemed like two minutes but may have been as brief as two seconds before the guy hit this bitch fucking HARD. I was like, “Oh shit! This nigga is about to kill this woman!”

To which she of course responded, Oh, no he didn’t. “I can’t believe he just hit me! I can’t believe he just hit me!” As if she wasn’t just inviting him to do just that. And with that, the fight was about over. The woman, who, a mere matter of seconds before, had been taunting the guy, was far too traumatized to keep on. She had regressed to an almost childlike state. For the guy to have done anything else at that point would have just been cruel. There’s nothing like a little violence to remind you of the natural order of things.

Two cop cars pulled up quicker than a motherfucker and had the guy on the ground. They let the woman go clean her face off in a water fountain (eww!), while they questioned a few people. Of course I didn’t see shit (fuck I look like, Alfamega? don’t answer that), even though I was tempted to explain to them that what she told them was a matter of him putting a shoe on her was really a fight. She practically took his fist and hit her with it. Of course he was the one who got put in the car and taken downtown, Henry Louis Gates-style.

Maybe when the guy gets out of the joint I’ll invite the two of them over to my house for a beer summit. Obviously there’s a lot of issues here to unpack.

  • Jright

    1st………

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    What up Bol…

    I like the early morning drops but this blog was all over the place. I don’t know what you were going for here.

  • Feezy

    “Nothing like a little violence to remind you of the natural order of things”

    LMMFAO!!! Realist shit you ever wrote!

  • Enlightened

    You silly as hell how you just went off on a tangent like the post was really about those two random drunk dope fiends. But I would like to really know who whooped on ol’ girl.

    That’s funny with Buddens trying to shut her up. I don’t think he did it, I think he just realized how easy that is of a punch line for the next nigga he picks a battle with.
    “your bitch got beat up by a nigga and you didn’t do shit”

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    LMFAO!!! Damn, Bol this shit was COLD BLOODED. classic post, man. too many quotables.

  • Worley

    “And why isn’t Joe Budden more pissed about it?”

    The guy probably whipped Joe Budden’s punk ass first.

  • http://www.joebuddentv.com JBTV Internet Soldier

    1 Yaself you faggot, you better hope I dont find you in real life. I would piss all over you….seriously….I might even go as far as eating your flesh….yep, like a cannibal. As for your little post….meh….it never really stayed on topic….it went from a shot at the I.S. to a shot at Tahiry. I hope your house burns down and your whole family dies. I also hope that your children are molested…..Well, you have probably already done that. Forcing your daughter to suck your dick? Thats not cool buddy. Or stuffing your cock up your sons ass….still not cool. And with that….im out……..1 Yaself Faggot………….INTERNET SOLDIERS!!!

    • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

      ^^OH SHIT!!! IT’S JOE BUDDEN, 4 REAL. that was not cool, yo.

      Damn, they watching you Bol.

      • http://www.reberbnation.com/EmCDL EmCDL

        I know its wrong but that shit you said had me rollin! But he right Bol sounds like he wanna give you the business….when keeping it real goes HORRIBLY wrong…

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    TAWHOREY GOT THE ANNA MAE TREATMENT? DAMN! OG MATT HERBZ BEEN PUTTIN IN WORK!!

    BUDDENS=THE ANDY DICK OF RAP.

  • ty from linden blvd

    joe buddens was shook at rock the bells nyc….

    deck was there with like 100 niggas

    joe can talk all he want but it would have been a bad day for him if he said any of that shit he was saying on camera on the stage.

  • http://www.reverbnation.com/EmCDL EmCDL

    GOTDAYUM! Bol you a fool man! Well you know what they say…if you man enough to put ya fist up then you man enough to get knocked the fuck out! Now I’m not the type to be hitting on women (especially out here in Cali!), but the saying I just said says it all.

  • Ayre

    “joe buddens was shook at rock the bells nyc….
    deck was there with like 100 niggas”

    So you would talk shit against 100 niggas then?

    • yoprince

      umm did he say that? no. stop being a groupie. he said, budden shouldn’t have been talking shit later on camera when he was scared straight at rock the bells.

  • http://myspace.com/federalranga Federal Ranga

    I’on give a fuck. Hoe had it coming. Bitches be acting like niggaz wont hit no woman. In every sense, she played pussy and got FUCKED…… up.

    Commission!!!

    • Park Ranga

      WTF are you talkin bout wit your skinny spectacled gas station workin ass???

      That ho would fuck you up.

      • http://myspace.com/federalranga Federal Ranga

        Would be somebody come tryna start some shit. Homey, I’m bigger than you [||]. Get off my dick.

        youtube.com/federalranga
        New vlog up.

        • Park Ranga

          “Homey, I’m bigger than you [||]”

          Now there is a classic Negro Please Moment right there…

          Go pump some gas and wipe down some more windshields and get your stregnth up bitch boy cuz ain’t nobody buyin your lil tough act, you look like Urkel’s nephew

  • http://xxl All Dae

    It’s easy to sit there and talk shit when there’s no risk of a gang of 30 year-old men in smedium Wu-Wear pants (mine split back in like ‘02) kicking the shit out of you, if only because they’re up to their ears in backed up semen,
    ———————————————–
    Lo Fn L

    who wants to read a book about Joe Budden? People don’t even want to buy the albums.
    ———————————————–
    Ouch!

    Bol….did it again.

  • http://stfu.com one ya self

    bryon crawford is an undercover budden fan he got time to watch every jbtv episode and hate on budden… lmao…

  • JAY STONE

    Y’all niggas are fucking crazy.
    Joe budden stays losingg.That nigga cant make a goddam somd to save his life.

  • geico lizard

    There is an ad for Edubbs “Whooty” on itunes at the top of the page. They know what you like Bol.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Nah Bol, I think you misinterpreted his efforts @ shutting her up.
    It was because he didn’t want to look like a punk. Ain’t not way in hell somebody is going to “put a shoe” on my wife without me doing anything. He treats her like his wife, so her manning up to an ass whipping would make him seem like less of a man.

    That would be far more embarassing than him Chris Browning her. If that were to get out (that he beat her up), Meth, INS, Ransom, Chef, Busta & whoever they invite would have a field day with that niggas life. I’m sure by now, he’s had his share of public disputes. Maybe his “stans” feel the same.

    Either way, he knows he doesn’t want the publicity.

  • http://www.divehiflylo.com PARIS PERSHUN

    http://www.divehiflylo.com

    A.Dd+ Mixtape “Power of the Tongue”

    http://www.myspace.com/skinnyhansel

  • El Tico Loco

    Joe Buddens is gonna write a 200 min freestyle about Bol and will not try any Wu member not even LA the Darkman. Slaughterhouse is gonna be around for a while but Joe Buddens is not the least stable one in that group.

  • http://www.RBradio.Podomatic.com RB RADIO

    Yeah, kinda got twisted up in this article.

  • $ykotic

    “BUDDENS=THE ANDY DICK OF RAP.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • http://myspace.com/devitan Devi Gargon

    Fuckin Bol,

    “Beer Summit”… Just find any old reason to have a Brewski, huh!!! Next you gonna be talking about “Liquor Charities” and “Lager Forums”!!!!

    As far as the post is concerned, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten yourself in trouble with all of the conclusions you jump to!!!

    1,000,000

  • General

    I gotta laugh at all the hate for Joe…

    Admittedly he brings alot of it on himself with the fact that he is very outspoken, but the fact that all of you keep talkin bout him only makes him more relevant than you will admit…

    I don’t really give two shits about all the nonsense, I’m just waitin on that Slaughterhouse to drop on the 11th

  • Giantstepp

    Fuck Joe buddens.

    But that last peice was freaking hilarious!!!!You a DAMN Fool Bol. Sadly, as funny as it was there was alot of truth to that. I dont condone hitting/fighting with women at all, but they will jump out there sometimes and when you get caught up, here comes the police to take you away!

  • Internets Soldier

    Fuck Joe Budden.

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    After re-reading everything here, I still ain’t gonna say much.

    Well maybe. Budden is giving the click negative publicity. But it is publicity.

    Ortiz is stepping up. The Crook/Royce CRT is cool. I see the same leaked 2 tracks.

    Bol got the Internet Soldiers on his back!!! LOL

  • sealsaa

    “Of course I didn’t see shit (fuck I look like, Alfamega? don’t answer that),”

    LMFAO

    “the guy hit this bitch fucking HARD. I was like, “Oh shit! This nigga is about to kill this woman!”

    Question Bol, did he “Gucci Mane” the bitch, or did he “Chris Brown” her?

  • latino heat

    i don’t care if this post was everywhere (and it was) i’ve been reading your posts on this site since the beginning and have never laughed harder than i did at this one. i agree, too many quotables.

  • BIGNAT

    “You gotta suck somebody’s dick and write a book about it, and who wants to read a book about Joe Budden? People don’t even want to buy the albums.” THAT IS JUST COLD BOL. also maybe joe’s chick was getting all up in the dudes face and the guy hit her.
    i have common sense some women do shit just because they have a man that they won’t do when there single. my rule is if i am not married to her and she not family she just got fucked up. bitch i don’t care how much fucking we did you act the fool shit will happen to you. she a close female friend i will stop the dude from beating her ass and that goes for family to. if it’s my mama or my aunts or grandma i gotta fight the dude.
    i remember one time i was at yankee staduim i was with this cool ass chick. one of the guys there was drunk and he dropped a little bit of beer on her two small drops. she fucking flips gets all up in the guys face i am like just sit down it’s not a big deal. she yelling he need to say sorry i ask him to say sorry so she could calm down he does. then her ass goes no he only said it because you asked him to. at this point i get between them she like you know much these jeans cost (like beer runis dark colored jeans). i ask the guy who was very cool about the situation could you walk off for sec so i can calm her down. he said yeah this chick fakes like she is going sit down then springs up and goes after the guy. gets all in his face and he said bitch back up before i smack you. of course she had to say i dare you do it my man will fuck you up. well he clocks the bitch not once but twice she comes over to me. you saw what he did get him security come down and shit is getting crazy. they asked me what happened i looked at the guy. i looked at her then said i don’t know nothing. she goes off trying to grab me calling me a wimp muthafucker and all that shit. she gets escorted out along with the guy i sit back down his buddies buy me a couple beer. we laugh about the whole thing. i get back to the block her girlfriends all on my ass. i explain to them the whole story they laugh and said but i should have at stopped her from going after him.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      LOL

      You know how the Bleacher Creatures get!!! The ones you save may be your own!

    • geico lizard

      @bignat, you were smart not to let her punk you into fighting that guy because there are alot of men in prison and the cemetary over bs like that.

      • BIGNAT

        i have common sense even when drunk and i got three older brothers. they warned me about shit like my dad and uncles did to.

  • t-dot

    Bol, sometimes you deserve the job u got, this is one of them…

  • Brooklyn

    maybe it’s my hood, but the females i’ve seen fighting men, they get it in. bitches be throwing the hands on some mayweather shit, be sticking and moving, bobbing and weaving, jabbing and all that. and when a nigga knock them down, they jump back up and keep on swinging.

  • Hostyle

    Wow XXl allows you to be racist on a blog too? why even write this bullshit. 29th best blogger in the land of retards and downies

  • geico lizard

    I think Budden didnt want her to talk about the guy who hit her because Joe plans to go at that guy. Budden doesnt want police using the film against him if the woman beater gets jumped by some guy and put in the hospital.

    Antonio Pierce snitching>>>Alfamega snitching

  • awesome arsenal

    bitches will get a nigga kilt if you let em…………
    when i was a teenager i was chillin with this fine chick just walkin down the block smokin and we came up to this park. i was plugged and this particular park belonged to the opposition but i was straight cuz i grew up with some of them and some of them i went to school with. so we go through the park and its about 35 niggas(opposition) out there and when we walk past one of the dudes i knew cracked a joke basically saying “you know you ain’t supposed to be around here, i ain’t trippin but if some of these niggas that don’t know you knew what you are, i couldn’t stop them)so i acknowlege him and keep walkin. the bitch i was with heard what he was sayin but she didn’t “get it” and started talkin about if anything happen to me my boys gone tear this bitch up. suffice to say i already had my fast pace strut goin on but a couple niggas got up to give chase and by then i was in a dead sprint! didn’t never go nowhere with her dum ass again

    • BIGNAT

      man women never get it you still got your pride you was running from getting jumped. you should have pushed her ass down so they could have tripped over her mwhahahahah.