Rap Music Needs Some New Blood…

vamp

Vampires are the hottest shit smoking right now. The HBO program True Blood is killing the television rating for its time slot. The ‘Twilight’ books have supplanted Harry Potter on the best seller lists and anything with a vampire theme is the sexy for corporate America.

Everybody hates Chris (Brown), but everybody loves Dracula. Zombies stay losing. Maybe because they have all those skin problems. Leprosy was never good for bagging bitches. Vampires have all the ill swag. Extra tight jeans. Silky blazers. Necklaces with embedded cocaine snifters.

I was pretty sure that KanYe West’s 808s & Heartbreaks would segue rap music into the age of hedonistic, well dressed, bloodsucking. I loved the album to death, and let’s be honest about vampires. That shit is gheyer than two men having sex.

Some dude choosing a man to live with him for all of eternity is the zenith of gheyosity. But at the end of the day if you look at the overall numbers the amopunt of ghey dudes with disposable income >>> greater than het breeders that make familes and shit. What do you think corporate America gives a fux about?

What rap music needs to do is take their cues from the fact that Jay-Z is dressing in all black again. By going vampire that will be the path for the rap music industry to court the ghey dollars without having to make Fisty Scent post the ghey Lloyd banks video on ThisIs50.com. NaS needs to name his next album Nasferatu.

I got charged into thinking about all of this vampire shit when I stopped by the XXL H.Q. Harris Publishing is now printing one of the freakiest comic titles from way back in my childhood. Vampirella was this cocktease vampire slut that was all about kicking the ass of bad vampires and demons and rapists and child abusers.

Vampirella was hot as fuck too. OMG I wanted to bang her so bad and she knew it. My dad wouldn’t let me buy these comics because he said it had some shit to do with devil worship. If you ask me, working for money is devil worship. I like it better when Harris pays me with premium alcohol. The power company doesn’t like that though (natch).

Now that I am old as shit and my dad has passed away and I write for Harris publishing, I will be reading as Vampirella as I want and I will be occasionally touching myself in between issues. Vampires are fucking teh ghey, but a vampire chick with body karate that put the lotion on her hands can have my true blood any day of the week.

vamp
  • Sleepy Wonder

    90% Of My Wardrobe Is Black. Oh, Isn’t Megan Fox Playing A Vampire Bitch In A Upcoming Movie? :)

  • Sleepy Wonder

    Forgot To Add My “Pierzy”

    • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

      Good lookin’ out!

      Sorry I was MIA most of yesterday… I was grinding [no Malice]

  • Sleepy Wonder

    I Forgot To Add My “Pierzy”

  • latino heat

    not sure if hip hop is ready for the vampire movement, but if nothing else Nasferatu is a dope ass title for a Nas album.

    • Lowedwn

      co-sign

  • BIGNAT

    vampire movement would actually work most rap shows go on at night. black never goes out of style. you can make people do what you want when they feel like you can make them live forever.

  • El Tico Loco

    Uncensoring that last pic would make for one sick tat.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    *fuck that “dollar sign”*

    I always thought Kid Cudi comes across as a vampire-type dude. He just has that “I vant to zuck ya bluud” vibe to me.

    DP, the fux up with your site? Am I just tripping, or is it a bunch of extra shit going on?

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    Dressed in all black/blood-shoot eyes/lookin’ 4 sum Angelina Jolie 2 bite the neck & suck the b***tch dry/I’m done.

  • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

    DP! (i got over it). Grand”s”! congrats on your liberation!

    it aint hard to tell. cause it ain’t nothin new and it aint no fairy tale, or dreary tale, whatever works. this shit is real. cause these mothafuckas have been suckin blood from the poor for eons now.

    and it’s cool to give people a symbol that they can associate with. make it more personal. you know, take the sting out. make it less of a burden by makin u love that which is hurting you. just like religion. just like politics. just like high fructose corn syrup. just like Soldier Boy songs.(JK! get yours, u lil’ fuck up..)

    same thing with these bitches. they will suck ur cock, then suck ur bank account dry. then try to soak your self esteem by makin you feel like theres a more worthy recipient of the fruit that led Adam astray. you think he woulda bit the apple if they wasn’t fuckin? God coulda made him a brand new bitch. or he coulda just started fuckin the black women who were already on the planet by the time God made them. either way, this Vampira shit is old school.

    me, i give ‘em a double dose of this pimpin and set ‘em loose. and my dad always taught us ownership over credit. it’s a little rougher on some maneuvers, but that way he never had another man’s will imposed on him. and i’d rather you give me something i can give you back. cause as long as you want it, i can maintain some power of my own.

    see, i’m tryin to eat. so how can i be food?

  • Dallas Penn

    Grand$,
    What do you mean?

    BBoyCult,
    You be smashing the comments.

    • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

      ‘preciate that fam. ‘specially from u.

  • CelphCentered

    LAST NAGGA BUT NEVAH FIRST AIGHTS!

  • Avenger XL

    Most mainstream rappers are already vampires. They suck lyrically
    They turn their listeners into mindless stans
    They wear fruity clothes
    They party all night sleep all day

    OK that is enough of that. Ha

    Hip-hop doesn’t need to get any closer to that emo dribble than Charles Hamilton. Life is sad enough by itself at times without more douche bags writing songs about losing their girl and cutting themselves to feel alive or whatever. Now we could definitley sample from the sound scape which is lush and sometimes dope. Lil wayne would be the poster boy with his new “prom Queen” stick (Natch) and Drake cakes is his stan slave (Mad Homo because they are probably BI)

  • abdulnasir

    @ avenger xl, pretty funny, rappers do suck!

  • Dallas Penn

    AvengerXL FTW

  • geico lizard

    I cant co-sign this idea DP. This might make the way for the rebirth of horrorcore rap.

    SMH@russell simmons co-signing horrorcore rap back in the day.

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      The Flatlinerz, geico.

      Avenger is ill.

      Good symbolism gents.