J-Kwon: Regression [Gettin' Un-grown]

The following excerpts are from Friday’s J-Kwon feature. There are too many niggerbites to just isolate one, so I’m giving shine to the best of the best.

[Blogger's Note: How dare XXL disrespect Cee-lo with such a careless feature title?]

XXL: What’s next for you?

J-Kwon: I don’t know yet. T-Pain just bought a big ass chain. I don’t know what I’ma do. I gotta do something.”

This is why J-Kwon never needs to come back. I’d like to think T-Pain’s “Big Ass Chain” has some comedic, satirical value. If it doesn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised either. Still, J-Kwon’s worried about one-upping a fucking necklace instead of one-upping some music. I guess it’s just that good old industry hate holding him back.

Shit. How does grandma-nana’s saying go? Monkey see, monkey spend beyond his means?

XXL: How do you feel about other STL rappers?

J-Kwon: Man it’s dead. Me and Nelly run St. Louis. I ain’t lying. We don’t even like em’ for real.”

Here’s the most fucked up part of this statement: Nelly doesn’t even run St. Louis anymore. Nelly don’t run shit but clippers across Ashanti’s sideburns and goatee. I’d ask Bol about this, but I don’t know how much rap he listens to, let alone local shit. I can imagine the likes of [insert St. Louis-born NY-style battle rapper on WSHH here] never having exactly tickled his fancy. Still, Aye Verb vs. I Eat Da Pussy Live From the Who Gives A Shit Finals on CD-R could probably move more units than a J-Kwon comeback disc, so I’ll just chalk this comment up to the dope he looks like he’s been doing.

Come on. J-Kwon looks like a son Bobby Brown abandoned at a Wal-Mart in 1989.

“XXL: What is your label situation right now?
J-Kwon: I don’t have one. We doing this independent. Me and Gracie. Hood Hop Music.
XXL: So your latest song “Louie Bounce (I Smacked Nikki)” was strictly independent?

J-Kwon: Yea. That’s all independent. We’re on our own tour. State to state right now, so that’s all out of our pockets. Ain’t nobody helping us with that.

Later in the interview:

“XXL: I noticed there’s a lot of dance music in St. Louis-

J-Kwon: Nah, see that’s where y’all getting it twisted. You know what, I shouldn’t have dropped that “Louie Bounce.” They made me drop that. I’m not messing with no more dance records cause that ain’t what St. Louis is, man. Real talk…

XXL: A lot of the artists are just catering to the crowd they’re performing for, like at the clubs.

J-Kwon: Yeah, cause they tryna get on. Cause everybody feel like you can’t get on unless you supplying this type of record. It’s just a lot of these kids don’t have the bread to put up they self so just go with the flow. That’s not what it’s about—hardly what it’s about.”

We call that talking in a full circle. A lot of people misuse the phrase “doing a full 360″. Study J-Kwon’s interview to understand the true meaning. Instead of a weathered, evolved artist, J-Kwon sounds like he’s about to saddle up at his very first rodeo. Were it not for his complaining about the industry making sure the world never enjoyed his music, I’d have thought these were his first steps outside of the recording studio.

Hopefully this time his voice has fully turned, at least. Because as of now, the best songs of his career is the “Hood Hop” instrumental.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Make it rain on the block? ron@ronmexicocity.com

That Hood Hop shit go hard. Too bad Brenda’s Got A Peter Brady is rockin over it.

  • Worley

    I remember this bum had a sHot 97 appearance that JD paid for and he kept cutting off the talking head to announce that it was “J-Kwon Radio.” I couldn’t stand his single and that radio appearance made certain that I couldn’t stand him either. This interview does not make things any better.

    N*gga go away.

  • General

    That is funny shit RM…

    This dumb mofo goes from talkin about how he is idependent and makes all his own decisions and then when asked about the song he just put out he says-”they made me do it” blamin a label that doesn’t exsist for the fact that he put out some more whack bullshit…

    NEGRO PLEASE to the millionth power on this one

    • http://happynappyhead.com Seattle Slim

      Good! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that realized he just lied his ass off and went full circle like Ronnie Mex mentioned.

      Is it just me, or do you find yourself staring at his teeth too? I swear he chews pebbles…

  • Bobo D

    “J-Kwon looks like a son Bobby Brown abandoned at a Wal-Mart in 1989.”
    ^^^^
    LMFAO, but you never know about that shit, dudes could be related.

    Oh, Ron I have a request. I would like to know your findings of the ceremony by Rev. Nick Cannon at the chuuch of twitter. Preach!

    • 1hunid

      “Oh, Ron I have a request. I would like to know your findings of the ceremony by Rev. Nick Cannon at the chuuch of twitter. Preach!”

      Yes Ron. PLEASE address this. Now Nick wanna pick up a bible and call on Jeeeezus now that Em tore him a new one. In his blog before hand he was ready to knuckle up now he callin on religion to get the sheepish masses behind him..GTFOH

  • $ykotic

    “Nelly don’t run shit but clippers across Ashanti’s sideburns and goatee.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

      I just got a shape-up. Ashanti should come to Philly and I’ll get her taken care of.

      Ha.

      • Capital G

        I’m happy someone finally said what everyone is thinking. XXL put up a side by side pic of Ashanti and Eddie Munster and till this day I can’t get past the fact that Ashanti DOES look like Eddie Munster. Thank you Ron Mexico for putting that out there.

  • El Tico Loco

    I caught that contradiction last week (read my comments after the feature) but the observation needed the RM treatment.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

      yo, i just went back and read the comments. you definitely called that shit, holmes. hahaha.

  • geico lizard

    J-Kwon is so fat now he looks like he ate Jibbs and Huey,no fishsticks.

  • El Tico Loco

    I made that observation in my comments after the feature(I guess this won’t post) but that did have NP DDN moment written all over it.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    “Nelly don’t run shit but clippers across Ashanti’s sideburns and goatee.”

    ^^^Oh SHIT! i didn’t see that coming. LMAO!!!

    “J-Kwon looks like a son Bobby Brown abandoned at a Wal-Mart in 1989.”
    ^^DAMN, co-sign.

    “Because as of now, the best songs of his career is the “Hood Hop” instrumental.”
    ^^CO-SIGN!

    Damn, Mex you killed bruh on this one. i hope it has been a LONG ASS TIME since he last did an interview. sure sounds like it. LMAO!

  • Around and Around

    First thing that came to mind when I read:

    “They made me drop that”
    ——————

    Cocaine’s a hell of a drug

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

      i immediately thought of rick james when i read that shit.

      i was like… what?!?!

      although, to rick’s credit, the shit makes sense when you watch the interview in its entirety on the special features of chappelle’s show season 2 dvd.

      …yea, i remember slappin charlie murphy upside the head…

      • Jack Tripper

        Nah nigga! It was “…yeah I remember jumpin on Eddie’s couch.”

        • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

          now that you’ve jarred my memory, i think it was…

          “==yea, i remember grindin my feet in eddie murphy couch…”

          amazing shit

        • Jack Tripper

          Yeah that’s it. I love that Dics 3 with the deleted shit on it. Charlie Murphy talkin about “What I think was really goin on with Rick was he was so high that he probably don’t even remember gettin these beat downs.” lol

          I never liked J-Kwon. His voice sounded fucked up and I remember him saying that he moved out of his momma’s house and over into the hodd so he could get some street cred. The street cred shit is what really blew me away. Like “WTF!!!”

  • http://www.obeseamerica.com sankofa

    Remember the Alamo and Jason Kidd’s draft night promise of 360 degrees. I guess his cipher was complete.

  • http://tonygrands@blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Hold up Ron, that “Tipsy” instrumental was banging, too.

    Can we all agree that Jermaine Dupri is the “Joe Jackson” of Hip Hop? Takes the kiddies, turns them into stars, destroys any chances @ normalcy, then drops them off where he found them to fend for themselves.

    Another rapper who should’ve filled out an application with UPS. & his local adult school.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Hold up Ron, that “Tipsy” instrumental was banging, too.

    Can we all agree that Jermaine Dupri is the “Joe Jackson” of Hip Hop? Takes the kiddies, turns them into stars, destroys any chances @ normalcy, then drops them off where he found them to fend for themselves.

    Another rapper who should’ve filled out an application with UPS. & an enrollment form with his local adult school.

    • http://youtube.com/federalranga Federal Ranga

      Grand$, I can dig what you sayin, but come on… the instrumental for Hood Hop is straight ape shit…

      And I used to work for UPS. Wouldn’t wish that type of torture for low pay on ANYBODY.

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        Grand$ I did UPS. They wouldn’t hire dude.

        $28/hr…

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

          I did my time in Brown as well, fellas.

          94-97.

          It sucked & I got called “nigger” more times than I care to count. But, it paid the bills.

          Maybe I should’ve said Burger King, Walmart, Target, Denny’s, White Castle, etc.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Nah $yk, they’d hire him. If he can talk (although not the most articulate dude) & walk, they’ll put him to work on those boxes.

          I was in there with convicts. Not GTA’s or petty theft. Hardened criminals who just wanted to do the right thing with life.

          Slavery knows no discrimination.

        • $ykotic/Don McCaine

          You’re right

          U.P.S.=Under Privileged Slaves

          That wear the symbolic color: Brown

          “Cause they’re treated like sh*t”.

        • Capital G

          @ Grand$ and $yk-
          You two are off the fuckin hook! Between Jermaine being the Joe Jackson of hip hop (never understood why Jermaine always worked with young kids, maybe it’s a height issue and not as nefarious as it appears) to ethering UPS, your collective comments had me rolling. Good shit gentlemen, well played.

        • $ykotic/Don McCaine

          That’s the Commission in us.

          I can hear JD now…

          “What? Look at me! Look UP at me!”

  • http://www.reverbnation.com/EmCDL EmCDL

    Gotdamn Ron you eithered the boy! Shit had me rollin, especially that first quote!

    “XXL: What’s next for you?

    J-Kwon: I don’t know yet. T-Pain just bought a big ass chain. I don’t know what I’ma do. I gotta do something.”

    Sweet Jesus I hope he was just joking around! Wooooooooo!

  • Silly Willy

    “Still, Aye Verb vs. I Eat Da Pussy Live From the Who Gives A Shit Finals on CD-R could probably move more units than a J-Kwon comeback disc…”

    I’ll say you’re on to something, Mr Mexx…..

  • DJ Postman

    Good call on the “Hop Hop” instrumental. That was just fierce. J-Kwon is just ignorant. Another Soulja Boy who claims to be running things within his own music camp, but probably doesn’t even know where he is signed to (if he’s even signed anywhere at all).

  • balaramesh

    j-kwon, needs prayer…… GODSPEED

  • BIGNAT

    j-kwon is that the dude that did that tipsy song how long ago was that.

  • latino heat

    i’ve been saying the same shit about the Hood Hop instrumental for years. i remember a lot of no name mixtape rappers using that beat the summer that it dropped.
    i gotta disagree with the Ashanti diss though. she is still bangin and would get the bizzness!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i never said she wasn’t–hold on a second *vomit*–bangin. i just said nelly gives her #13 on the barber shop poster nightly.

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        “Come on baby let me fade that thurrr/peas on you’re neck/need some waves back thurrrr…”

  • Brooklyn

    i saw this documentary on TLC or discovery channel or one of them educational type channels about this mexican family with werewolf syndrome, where they got mad hair all over their faces, and i could have sworn that the dude they was profiling looked like ashanti. it’s unnatural for a female to have that much facial hair. if she got that much hair on her face, i shudder to think what her cooch looks like.

  • Silly Willy

    By the way, whatever the fuck happened to Ebony Eyez ? Don’t fuck with TrackBoyz like that but she wasn’t that bad……

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      she had a little somethin. i remember reviewing one of her videos back on the big green site.

      i have no clue whatever happened to her.

  • shra1924

    “Because as of now, the best songs of his career is the “Hood Hop” instrumental” – you aint never lied Ronnie. I be groovin my ass off on that joint until he starts rappin and ruins it.

  • guestbloggers

    rm u had me lmfao n tho i never j-kwon single i dont think i wanna hear his music after his interview n u givin him the negro please treatment n wtf makes him think nelly is runnin st. louis ? dude gotta be outta his fuckin mind!!

  • Young History in the Making

    “Because as of now, the best songs of his career is the “Hood Hop” instrumental” –

    ..real talk..

  • ESL 618

    Yo mex i live on the East Side of St.Louis and this nigga J-Kwon isnt running shit down here cause this nigga hasnt had a song played on the radio since Hood Hop… i usually dont even listen to the radio cause STL does not have its own style but ive been listen to the radio alot lately and ive only been hearing R&B and drake….and Nelly barely gets on the radio…and the rap scene is so wack down here cause the rappers only copy the southern artist.. the STL music scene is some sorry shit. but anyways like i said this nigga is lying cause he hasnt been seen around STL in forever… nobody knows where he been. he’s a fucking nobody

  • ESL618

    Yo mex i live on the East Side of St.Louis and this nigga J-Kwon isnt running shit down here cause this nigga hasnt had a song played on the radio since Hood Hop… i usually dont even listen to the radio cause STL does not have its own style but ive been listen to the radio alot lately and ive only been hearing R&B and drake….and Nelly barely gets on the radio…and the rap scene is so wack down here cause the rappers only copy the southern artist.. the STL music scene is some sorry shit. but anyways like i said this nigga is lying cause he hasnt been seen around STL in forever… nobody knows where he been. he’s a fucking nobody

  • 419_74goon

    nikki must g that glass dick n that lil nigga been smackin her hard cuz this interview sound like he talkin to a bucker fresh out the trap give up homeboy yo lil sis harder then you 4real doe and that instrumental shit so tru