The following excerpts are from Friday's J-Kwon feature. There are too many niggerbites to just isolate one, so I'm giving shine to the best of the best.

[Blogger's Note: How dare XXL disrespect Cee-lo with such a careless feature title?]

"XXL: What’s next for you?

J-Kwon: I don’t know yet. T-Pain just bought a big ass chain. I don’t know what I’ma do. I gotta do something."

This is why J-Kwon never needs to come back. I'd like to think T-Pain's "Big Ass Chain" has some comedic, satirical value. If it doesn't, I wouldn't be surprised either. Still, J-Kwon's worried about one-upping a fucking necklace instead of one-upping some music. I guess it's just that good old industry hate holding him back.

Shit. How does grandma-nana's saying go? Monkey see, monkey spend beyond his means?

"XXL: How do you feel about other STL rappers?

J-Kwon: Man it’s dead. Me and Nelly run St. Louis. I ain’t lying. We don’t even like em’ for real."

Here's the most fucked up part of this statement: Nelly doesn't even run St. Louis anymore. Nelly don't run shit but clippers across Ashanti's sideburns and goatee. I'd ask Bol about this, but I don't know how much rap he listens to, let alone local shit. I can imagine the likes of [insert St. Louis-born NY-style battle rapper on WSHH here] never having exactly tickled his fancy. Still, Aye Verb vs. I Eat Da Pussy Live From the Who Gives A Shit Finals on CD-R could probably move more units than a J-Kwon comeback disc, so I'll just chalk this comment up to the dope he looks like he's been doing.

Come on. J-Kwon looks like a son Bobby Brown abandoned at a Wal-Mart in 1989.

"XXL: What is your label situation right now?
J-Kwon: I don’t have one. We doing this independent. Me and Gracie. Hood Hop Music.
XXL: So your latest song “Louie Bounce (I Smacked Nikki)” was strictly independent?

J-Kwon: Yea. That’s all independent. We’re on our own tour. State to state right now, so that’s all out of our pockets. Ain’t nobody helping us with that."

Later in the interview:

"XXL: I noticed there’s a lot of dance music in St. Louis-

J-Kwon: Nah, see that’s where y’all getting it twisted. You know what, I shouldn’t have dropped that “Louie Bounce.” They made me drop that. I’m not messing with no more dance records cause that ain’t what St. Louis is, man. Real talk...

XXL: A lot of the artists are just catering to the crowd they’re performing for, like at the clubs.

J-Kwon: Yeah, cause they tryna get on. Cause everybody feel like you can’t get on unless you supplying this type of record. It’s just a lot of these kids don’t have the bread to put up they self so just go with the flow. That’s not what it’s about—hardly what it’s about."

We call that talking in a full circle. A lot of people misuse the phrase "doing a full 360". Study J-Kwon's interview to understand the true meaning. Instead of a weathered, evolved artist, J-Kwon sounds like he's about to saddle up at his very first rodeo. Were it not for his complaining about the industry making sure the world never enjoyed his music, I'd have thought these were his first steps outside of the recording studio.

Hopefully this time his voice has fully turned, at least. Because as of now, the best songs of his career is the "Hood Hop" instrumental.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Make it rain on the block?

That Hood Hop shit go hard. Too bad Brenda's Got A Peter Brady is rockin over it.