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I’m sorry, I thought this was America

How come we live in a country where a white man can show up to a town hall meeting with the president with a gun, but a black man can’t even make a song about how he wants to kill the police?

I was watching MSNBC a couple of hours ago, waiting for motherfucking Geek Squad to show up and install my new 50″ plasma TV (ballin’!), and they stopped what they were saying all of a sudden to announce that a white guy was standing in the crowd near where Obama would be arriving, and he had a gun strapped to his leg. Then they cut to live footage of the guy standing right there with a gun strapped to his leg, as if it was completely normal to show up to see the president of the United States packing heat. Didn’t that woman Squeaky Fromme just out of jail after 40 years for bringing a gun around Gerald Ford? Who gives a fuck about Gerald Ford?

Pop quiz, hotshot: Is Gerald Ford alive or dead? See, you can’t answer it. And it’s not just because a lot of lower class black and hispanic people read this site? (Why are they even bothering with those Nielsen surveys? They just gave a guest blog to a stripper named Shakur.)

The guy on MSNBC, who happened to be black, said the law in New Hampshire is that you can just have a gun strapped to your leg near where the president is about to arrive, as if you were Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver about to go see Senator Charles Palatine, or whatever the guy’s name was (it’s a little bit late in the afternoon to conduct any research, i.e. watch Taxi Driver again while you suckers are at work), if you’re on private property. This guy was standing on the grounds of a nearby church. How in the fuck churches don’t have to pay taxes, but you can stand there and probably shoot the president, is a topic for another discussion. But homeboy from MSNBC said he wouldn’t be surprised if the guy somehow disappeared before the president arrived.

What they ought to do is take his punk ass to Gitmo. I’m not necessarily advocating throwing people in prisons in foreign countries, where they don’t the same rights you supposedly have here in the US (just don’t write a song about killing the police). I’m just saying. If we can throw mad Arabs in Gitmo for hardly even doing anything, we need to start throwing some white people in there too. You think a state law about your right to bring a gun to a motherfucking church would have been an issue, if the guy happened to be a towel head. Nigga, please!

I was listening to this week’s podcast of This American Life. It’s actually a rerun from 2005 disguised to look like a new episode, during a summer in which it seems like they’ve been playing nothing but reruns (and yet, they always want a donation). It’s the one where an FBI informant, posing as a terrorist, took some retarded ass Arab guy, asked if he could buy a missile from him, then had someone else give the guy a missile, then arrested the guy for trying to sell a missile to the government. If that guy can be in prison for the rest of my (which is really no sweat off my sack), I’m sure there’s plenty of cracka-ass crackas they could be going after.

If they need room in prison, they can let out this kid Antavio Johnson. (I know, it’s shocking there’s a guy named Antavio in prison.) He’s the guy who got tossed in the clink for making a song about how he wanted to kill the police for constantly fucking with him, just like they do all black people, as evidenced by the plight of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates. And yeah, he did mention specific officers by name, which makes it more of a threat than if he just made a song about dusting off a few unnamed cops, like Ice T. I skimmed a story about how exactly this kid ran afoul of the law down in Florida when I did a post on it for my own site the other day, but I’m not sure to what extent that even matters. If the last eight years has taught us anything, it’s that the laws they teach you about in high school and college government classes don’t really count. If the government needs to throw you in jail, and there’s no way for them to do so legally, you might just disappear.

For all we know, that might be what happened to this kid Antavio Johnson. (He was already in jail anyway, for coke, when he was sentenced for illegal rapping, but that’s neither here nor there.) It could be that he was well within his rights to make a song about killing the police. I might need TPAR, whom I met in person the other day, to straighten me out on that. No fishsticks. I know it says in the Orlando Sentinel, or whatever paper I quoted from the other day, that Antavio Johnson considers himself a Christian rapper. He might want to have his lawyer explain that to the judge. People have been known to get away with some crazy shit in this country, as long as there’s a church involved.

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