Still Ain’t Forgave Myself

A while back, during honkey week, I made a statement that all white rappers like to poke fun of themselves. I’m not taking that back, it’s definitely true, but melanin-deficient MCs aren’t the only ones that spit ether aimed inward, there are a slew of rappers, some legends even, that have busted there own chops while busting a rap. Those moments are actually some of my favorite points in hip-hop, because amongst all the bragging and boasting it shows these guys ain’t always fronting.

So I decided to put together this list of some of rap’s most self-deprecating lyrics to date. This is by no means the definitive list, so please add on.

- The Notorious B.I.G. “One More Chance (Remix)” – “heartthrob never/ black and ugly as ever

Arguably hip-hop most beloved plus-size MC never beat around the bush. We knew he was a fat motherfucker, and so did he. This wit, matched with the record deal and all the accolades, of course, helped Christopher Wallace to bag up quite a few dimes.

- Kanye West – “Through the Wire” – “And just imagine how my girl feel/ on the plane scared as hell that her guy looked like Emmet Till

With his mouth still wired shut after a near fatal car accident a young “Kane” West played a game of the dozens on himself comparing his mangled face to that of Emmet Till, the historical figure that kicked off the Civil Rights movement. (Wiki it people) It didn’t end there though. Later on in the song he spit, “…My dawgs couldn’t tell if I/ I looked like Tom Cruise on Vanilla Sky.” Ouch!

- Masta Ace – ‘Dear Diary” – Just peep the whole entire song, he’s dissing himself in every line.

I have nothing to say except the Brooklyn vet’s got balls for putting it all out there on the table like that. Take notes from the master.

-Ghostface – “Never be the Same Again” – “It’s all right though/ maybe he came up with the right doe/ bigger dick/ I don’t know/ musta been the best blow

Ghost’s career is full of odes to unfaithful woman, but on this characteristically hilarious track off Bulletproof Wallets, Tony Starks is actually admitting there are people out there with more money and a bigger package. Whaa? that ain’t supposed to rock in hip-hop. Props

- Common – “They Say” – “They say ‘The crochet pants and the sweater was wack’/ Seen ‘The Corner,’ now they say ‘That n*gga’s back

Your man got his sense back after his breakup with Erykah but he had to get one little jab in about the funny threads before he could truly move on.

- Jay-Z – “Song Cry” – “I used to cut up they buddies, now they sayin they love me/ Used to tell they friends I was ugly and wouldn’t touch me

Back than they didn’t want me/ Now I’m hot they all on me. Jay might have had a lil case of projection when he penned “Superugly.”

- Eminem – “The Warning” – “How ever you prefer to do and that goes for Nick too/ faggot you think I’m scrrred of you/ You gonna ruin my career you better get one/ like I’ma sit and fight with you over some slut bitch cunt/ that made me put up with her psycho ass what 6 months/ and only spread her legs to let me hit once/ yeah what you gonna say I’m lucky/ and tell the public that I was so ugly/ that you had to drunk to fuck me/ second base what the hell’d you tell Nick pumpkin/ the second week we were dry humping/ that’s gotta count for something/ listen girly sure you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early/ cause I ejaculated prematurely/ and busted all on your belly/ and you almost started hurling/ and said I was gross/ go get a towel your stomach curdling/ well maybe you do /but if I’m embarrassing me then I’m embarrassing you.”

I wasn’t gonna name any white rappers but the latest offering from Slim Shady truly earns him the title of hip-hop’s reigning king of self-deprecation. I mean damn Em, I realize you felt a need to address Mariah Carey’s video for “Obssessed,” but did you really have to go that hard at yourself. This is the true definition of TMI.

Keep ‘em coming… -Jesse Gissen

  • JAY STONE

    Ist hahaha

  • http://dronkmunk.com dronkmunk

    What, no Sean Price? Brokest rapper you know, Mess I made..i could go on.

    • http://www.reverbnation.com/EmCDL EmCDL

      Co Sign

    • P. Harris

      Jesus Price Supastar has got to be one of the best joints this decade…

      Oh yeah, Co-Sign…

    • Leo

      DMX-Born Loser

      …Bitches don’t like me, they don’t kiss me or hug me…
      They call me Kill-pretty, because I’m mad ugly…
      I use to get pussy, but I busted off quick…
      Now I get snooched, so I gotta beat my dick…

      The Whole Song is like that…

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    Em is the king, especially on the Slim Shady LP. “Brain Damage” is an entire song about him getting his ass beat in high school.

    Jay has his moments too…

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    Sheek Louch is pretty self-deprecating too. “I ain’t seeing double platinum unless I take it off your fuckin’ neck”

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      What’s good P!?

      Co-sign that, plus one. I think 75% of SSLP could easily fall into this catergory, humorous or otherwise.

      This isn’t self-loathing, but “My Fault” is one of the best songs ever.

      • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

        Grands, my man…a great component to Eminem and the reason why it is so difficult to beat him in a battle is that he is willing and eager to air out his own dirty laundry before anyone else can do it for him.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

          That 8 mile factor.

          I gotta buddy named Dave, one of those dudes you can’t help but crack jokes on. After a few good snaps, he’d start bagging on himself, ha. Genius. After 5 minutes of that, we’d just leave him alone.

        • $ykotic/Don McCaine

          Wow I’ve been slow this week. Just dropped these thoughts on Bol’s blog…

    • Leo

      Co-sign the Em joint…lol dats one of ma favorites right there…I’m surprised there aint no Job Budden on this list…

  • General

    Shit how bout Joe Budden, you could probably pick 20+ tracks from his Mood Muzick series…

    Em I think pretty much tops them all when it comes to clowin on himself…

  • MidWest Grindin

    And you know what…that’s why i have the UTMOST RESPECT for MCs like Eminem, like Devin tha Dude and Redman. These cats not only have serious mic skills, but they arent afraid to poke fun at themselves and their flaws. They come across as EVERYDAY-type human beings, not portraying no super-duper gangsta killing machine on wax like most of these rappers who, if you let them tell it, have never lost a fight, have killed hundreds of people just for looking at them the wrong way and got so many bitches on them they feet NEVER touch the ground cuz they walk on beautiful women’s backs all day like King Xerxes from the movie “300″. Thats why all 3 of these cats are in my top 5 of all time, because a regular cat can relate to SOME of the things they say. Hell, you hardly ever hear Eminem bragging about money (unless its a track he’s trying to make for the club) and he got more paper than most MCs.

  • Moving Sideways

    “Who am I kiddin’? Who am I foolin’?

    When they be like ‘What’s up Fatlip?’

    And I say coolin’.”

    Most self-hating song ever, What’s Up Fatlip.

    • Lowedwn

      oc-sign that all day….one of the funniest videos ever too.

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    how you not gon’ include Dmx’s “born loser” that shit was mad crazy how he ethered his self.

  • Doughboy

    Where is that dude with the name these posts are racists? I dont see him anywhere crying cause these posts are racists when they used the Honkey Line at the beginning, WTF isnt that racist to?

  • MrO2theC

    that masta ace track, reminded me ov eminem on the slim shady lp, the flow an tone of voice

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    what about dmx “born loser? dammnit v fix these comment boards and stop wastin good money on these whack covers y’all been droppin!

  • http://myspace.com/federalranga Federal Ranga

    Aww, man… I’m liking this one…

    What up, P, Grand$, my niggaz, EMCDL all ya’ll in the Commission!?

    Ya’ll can’t leave out Joell Oritz’s “Brooklyn Bullshit”. Dude definitely fucked himself up for that one.

    “So what? I got my man’s shirt on my back/I done had this for four months. He don’t want this back!” Nice.

    Episode 4 of the blog is up… what the fuck ya’ll waiting for… Grand$, peeped the shoving match… sick.

    Commission!!! youtube.com/federalranga
    Ms. Fat Booty Freestyle coming soon!!!

    • http://www.reverbnation.com/EmCDL EmCDL

      What up Ranga whats good?!

      Yeah I’ma have to check out and catch up on your vlogs dawg I been slippin’!

  • Lloyd

    One of the best blogs of the year

  • Lloyd sedio

    Eminem is the best when it comes to dissin himself

    • sicka

      at dissin anyone…he could make anyone in the game fall..when he goes in, he goes in

  • El Tico Loco

    Going out on limb with this one. What about R.A. the Ruggedman “heavy fat slob unshaven”, J zone “shoulda named your album sick of being cute”, Thirtin Howl III “Still live with my moms”, Method man “from my naps to the bunyon on my big toe”, Field Mob

  • latino heat

    “alcoholic on toilets i shit blood.” – Nas

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    “When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell/ cause I’m a piece of shit, it ain’t hard to fuckin’ tell…” all the way to the end of the song! Notorious BIG’s self-depreciating “Suicidal Thoughts” is cold enough to give you chills.

    Also, a few lines on The Pharcyde’s “Passin’ Me By” was humbling, to say the least.

  • brand-new

    “just got done hating myself, feeling like a zero” joe budden-move on

  • peter

    Chamillionaire – internet nerds revenge

    that song definitely needs to be up there.
    he is dissing himself the entire song

  • Beergangsta

    There no way i am going to diss myself. That’s Satin shit! EM is a Honkey with shit to do. Even KRS 1 will shit all on this honkey. He don’t won’t to battle a real rapper. You Understand.

  • http://www.incilin.blogspot.com Incilin

    Although Ghost doesn’t spit the line itself, on “The Champ” the coach yells at him and says; “You aint been hungry since Supreme Clientle!” Now that’s putting yourself on blast.

  • johny MOTHER-FUCKIN mac

    50 cent Animal-”i was a dirty nigga getting my ass kicked, bought a lil .380 i stopped all that shit”

    50 cent Curtis 187- ” I was a snooty nose nappy head dirt-bomb nigga saying i cant wait till i get a lil bigger, after niggas jumed me bump on my head, thinking i wish i had a gun i fill a nigga with lead

  • l.a Vet

    ” i wake up early in the mornin , Breath stankin as im yarning just another sunny day in California… 2pac the GOAT

  • Kingsley

    No disrepsect, but how do you guys leave out Cassidy, point blank, the man opens his cds dissing himself.

  • avon

    bg-i was born a loser stank pussy abuser-livin legend
    bg- i loaded thinkin of range rovers maybe i can get a range rover if i stay my ass sober i be loaded thinkin of condos maybe i can get a condo if i keep my nose close-i be thinking

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    Slim Shady does it again..nobody does it betta’

  • http://www.divehiflylo.com PARIS PERSHUN

    FINALLY DONE WIT IT!!!!! SONGS UP FROM THE “POWER OF THE TONGUE” MIXTAPE ‘ …… YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THIS AT http://www.divehiflylo.com …..A.Dd+ LET’S GO!!!…..

  • awesome arsenal

    ODB… “the dog piss on emcees like trees/got mils but still grill that old good welfare cheese”

  • MNK

    “Damn I wish I wasn’t such a wimp”
    -Fatlip on Passing me by