Say My Name, Say My Name

Unlike a lot of these other rap journalists— if you would even call me that— I was never a rapper. Never had dreams of becoming a rapper, never picked up the mic or jumped in the booth, none of that. In fact, back in high school I was in a freaking hardcore band. I was lucky if any of my lyrics made sense let alone rhymed. BUT if I was ever to be an MC, the first order of business would be my rap name.

You see if you gonna get in the game, you gotta have an ill name. It’s like porn – quick tangent if you’re ever bored, there’s nothing more fun than trying to figure out what your porn pseudonym would be, fun as hell— anyways, as I was saying, it’s like porn, you gotta come hard with the name, pun intended. That’s your calling card. If your shit is corny, no one is gonna give you a chance. That’s your first impression to potential fans and it’s supposed to encapsulate your whole hip-hop persona. We don’t want another Young Jerfkoff or Lil Dicksucker. Show some originality.

Now lemme break down the inspiration behind my shit. I’m not a wrestling fan, but when I found out there was a fighter out there named Goldberg, I thought that was such a sick tag. Here’s a cat that beats motherfuckers up for a living and he wants everyone to know he’s part of the kosher tribe (what JewDon’tKnow?). Now it gets deeper, since I would be an ill lyricist, of course, I’d like to pay homage, if you will, to someone known for having a way with words— like a famous poet. Now throw a little hip-hop misspelling in there and you have it. GINZBERG! (Copyright 2009)

Welcome to hip-hop fantasy camp….show me what you got people? (aka what would you guys’s rap names be?)—Jesse Gissen

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  • Enlightened

    Are you serious? You hinted at the truth of the matter early in the blog.
    Probably 99% of the niggas on here HAVE picked up the mic and DO have a rap name.
    You should have just asked, “what IS your rap name?
    And 99% of those 99% are probably better than 75% of the rappers that are in regular radio rotation.

    That’s why hip-hop is in a bad state right now.
    Can you imagine the NBA if you or one of your potnas that you kick it with everyday could get up off the couch, fresh off a blunt and some beer and serve almost every nigga that was playing in the Lakers vs. Celtics game on TV?
    Nobody would want to watch that bullshit.

    • Justice4All

      “Killafool”-(Copyright 1989)

  • buck marley

    Urk Da Jerk

  • gkid12345


  • Simone

    Mona Lisa ( it’s probably already taken) ghetto it up. Monalicia

    • latino heat

      @ Simone
      Mona Lisa was taken by that R & B chick back in the day.

  • Incilin

    Ginzberg is a stupid name, lol. I once had a professor named Ginzberg, nice lady but still. I would not look forward to listening to a rapper named Ginzberg.

    I aint no rapper no more, but my rap name was, and always will be, Incilin. And trust me, it makes perfect sense in context.

    It took me a long time to find a name because I was too busy trying to think of something cool and it just ended up being corny (like Ginzberg). The truth is, whoever gives you the game, gives you the name. Which is to say, your better taking the nickname your friends give you.

    • Tony Grand$

      Too many co-signs.

      I am, & always will be Tony Grand$, an old rap moniker that my life-long friend gave me.

      But check out his rap name…Esquire Dundee.

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma



  • Pierzy

    Magnum P.I.

    • Silly Willy

      hahaha! Nice one!

      McGuyver ??? I mean, the MC is already there so…

      • $ykotic

        There was a guy in Brooklyn named McGuyver.


  • CrunchyBlack187


  • og booby J


    • Around and Around

      I think you mean “OG Homolicious”

      • JAY STONE

        Baba Dinka

    • chillin mayne

      jajajaja ballzdeep….”yo u herd ballzdeep verse on dat new track?…nigga, ballzdeep go hard as hell son”…jus thinkin how i would discuss ur lyrics

  • Shak

    lol well, that sucked

  • the real gangster

    tha G.

  • Silly Willy

    Will Capone !!!


    i don’t rap. but, ya’ll look out for ANDINERO… coming soon.

  • capcobra

    BIG DICK CAP…cause the chicks gon be curious and the guys gon hate.

  • D Frank

    Gargamel the Oppressor

    • jesse

      You’re signed off the name alone!!!!!!! You got beef with bang em smurf

  • yoprince

    Swears-A-Lot aka Fuck you Granny

    • jesse

      you change your name to Sir Swears-A-Lot i’ll add you to the team

      McGuyver – COSIGN!

  • Apollo

    Apollo or Apollo 13 what yall think ??

  • Apollo

    Apollo. Apollo 13 or Apollio like the disease haha, what yall think ??

  • geico lizard

    Man: Stedman Kilogram
    Woman: Oprah Pimphrey

    • geico lizard

      edit: Oprah Pimpfree

      • chillin mayne

        jaaaaaaaaaa i like oprah pimpfree…sheeet, i mite have to jack that moniker…naw, chill, its tite tho


    A.Dd+ Mixtape “Power of the Tongue”

  • thabeastwithin

    Tragedy tha Beast



    • thabeastwithin


  • jollyrench12989

    Young Skrillz
    Pape Stax

  • WordsManifest

    you’re looking at it.

  • Deuce53

    shit, i co-sign whoever said ur better off with wat ur friends give u…i just started really pickin up the mic (been writing stories and poems and shit since forever tho) but my homie, who does music, and actually got me thinkin bout it, called me Dub B, lol i just ran with it and it stands for more than just one thing, but yeaaa…i like this blog, but maybe insteada just saying names, somebody shud come hard with a 16 like an introduction to their name and alias so to, wayyy more entertaining ya diiig?


      co-SIGN^^^ HELLS YEA!!! who gon start it off? c’mon ya’ll.

      WE WANT BARS!!!
      WE WANT BARS!!!
      WE WANT BARS!!!

    • $ykotic

      You don’t know what you just started brah.

      Where are my DELEGATES @?



  • Lloyd

    X-R.I.C=Xtreme Reckless Intent Chaos

  • Deuce53

    o yea…

    check it out, gimme feedback, or sumthn..peace

  • El Tico Loco

    Big Booblover aka Arnold Skirtchazer aka Lil Standards, aka Smack yo Favorite Rappa, aka 730 aka crazy credit score.



      DON MCCAINE, thats shit is smooth. i cant even lie.

      • $ykotic/Don McCaine

        Good looking. Got a 73% approval rate on my email list

      • $ykotic

        I drop so much on here I can’t get it to change!

        Anyway if this is a duplicate, more than 70% of people on my email list approve of this flyness of a moniker.

        Regardless of the drug reference. America was hooked on it WAAYYYY before I was born.

        Got another for anyone else:


        Plenty of meaning…

  • Superstar Extraordinaire

    Mista Fucks-Ya-Mom aka Da Cougar Hunter

  • Swag1000

    MC gusto

  • Wopz

    The name Wopz; so heads better speak low
    Got mad props for you and yours to deep throat
    I ain’t tryna teach though; tryna reach for
    The underseat pull to blast you with a peepshow
    The D’s know that claimin’ streets as peaceful
    is deceitful specially with cats tryna eat, bro
    So my dogs is circlin’, barkin’ feast calls
    Lookin’ like middle east peace talks
    Around these parts, up in the East Parks
    The g’s cock when the hear the beast Wopz

  • brand-new

    it would be brand-new, my name is brandon, and i’m from new york, just a mash up

    • $ykotic

      But it works.


  • Federal Ranga

    Fuck niggaz calling me Federal Ranga…

    My shit would/will be Anton.

    Gov’t Name >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Rap Name

    The new vlog is UP!!!

  • ATGtst

    I’m the C.R.A.P
    I’m the Coolest Rapper Alive, Prick!

  • ATGtst

    or for some of these internet gangsters
    The Notorious B.L.O.G.

  • jesse

    GINZBERG got an alias…J-DRAMA.
    Word to Entourage!


    Ayo! Andy! I’m finna go ham lyk thanksgiving/
    Money I aint givin, money you aint gettin/
    A playa I stay chillin, wit 7 or 8 women/
    And I stay spittin, got bars lyk a state prison/
    My waves spinnin, hatin niggaz thought I was kittin’/
    And wen I said I was winning, them niggaz thought I was kiddin’/
    Need I remind yall? Homey my ice will blind yall/
    I shine dawg, my swagga is cleaner than pine sol/
    I’m never behind yall, I’m always ahead a yall/
    I never fall, cuz hoes choose me instead a yall/
    Cuz I’m the insatiable, irreplaceable, undefeatable/
    Intellectual, overly-sexual, unbelievable/
    Ladies man, with lady fans, gotta lotta ladies here/
    They love me from my shoe game, on up to my baby hair/
    And all my other fans, they support no other man/
    They know I stack a hundred grand, and stretch it like a rubberband/


  • Badman

    For Real YO!!

  • FlapJack

    Damn, I might need a new one.

    who the fuck is flapjack records anyway?

  • jester

    jester the mic molestor

  • Johnny Appleseed

    WET WILLY cause i’m all up in ya ear!!! ya heard!!


    one my friend used his name was kerel he used REL-HOVA
    DON MCCAINE best i heard so far

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      Good looking ‘NAT.


  • Chris S


    …what a fucking retarded topic

  • Brooklyn

    julius seize-zyah and my female protegee would be khleopatra

  • jorge500watts

    mike hawk

  • Tony Grand$

    Suede Dollaz

    Blaze Danjarus

    Hurricane Black

    Last Emcee

    Mike Murdah

    Ink Icewater

    Jack Daniels

    Furious Styles

    Joe Dirt a/k/a Da Parkin Lot Pimp

    Blu Thunda

    Chevy Atlas

    Max Gamble a/k/a Al B. Rite Back!

  • Shawty J

    In all seriousness I’d probably use my real name, the only names I can think of are my online names, J-Mace and Shawty J.

  • Ali

    A Minus (A-)……my real name’s Ali…..The “-” means the only reason im not perfect is because nobody’s perfect (thats why its a – instead of +)

    also because when u subtract sumn the answer is called “the difference”

    take rap….subtract the bullshit, & you have me, the difference


    (as you can see I had that shit planned out for a while lol)

  • King

    i got a lot in mind after reading this:

    Koncept (one nigga stole this on the West Side already)

    Black Koncept

    Afrikan Thundar

    King Kong

    Kustom Kreation

  • GO-Getta’

    I’ll probalbly give my on-line name Go-Getta’ 2 my female protegee’.

    Cutthroats would b’ the name of my band (group)

    Finally my real name Rama22 would b’ my stage name,no gimmicks

  • jester

    joe phraser (rapper who bite lines)

    mic tyson (canibal rapper)

    muhammered ali (alcoholic rapper)

    invader holyfield (gospel rapper)

    george four-man (rap group)

  • joe farver

    Boog Waterz
    Joe Farver
    Copper Simpson

  • King Joffy Joe

    My rap name would be “Joobie Dick Riker”, lol.

    • Shawn

      Jay-Z yup it’s me

  • solo

    Real Talk aka H.O.T.S. (HEART OT THE STREETS)

    100 STAX



  • mazemayhim

    BEEJ-IZ-MAZE-MAYHIM aka “ya mama’s boyfriend”

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