XXL’s August Cover Is In The Bag…

fab cover

It’s been a long time since I had anything to write about Fab. Do I need to post the ‘Throw It In The Bag’ track like I do at dallaspenn.com? Is that what y’all are into now? I admit that I don’t like this song and I also admit that when this shit comes on the radio I reflexively do the Cabbage Patch dance. I can’t even stop myself (believe me I’ve tried).

I was stanned out the other night when my boss, er, supervisor, Carl Chery (we all know Vanessa Satten’s the boss) let me know I had crossed over into the Hip-Hop publishing world’s VIP room. I was on the list for the party that XXL was throwing along with Def Jam to celebrate Fabolous on the mag’s cover next month. I was happy as fuck to be going to this party. Elliott Wilson never invited me to any XXL parties because he knew my reputation for open bars. Datwon Thomas never invited me to shit because he hates me. The only Dallas he fux with is Austin [ll].

fab xxl
fab xxl

So I showered and put on some clean clothes for the shindig. There would be some magazine chicks in the building. These girls work so hard and they never have time to let the boys play with them. I’m definitely looking to cop feels on Clover Hope if she shows up. I like the way she writes. I ended up not meeting any young tender journalistas except for this one chick named Mariel Concepcion from Vibe magazine. If I had known that Vibe was assed out I would have attempted to console Mariel by offering her a free drink (and I would’ve copped a feel).

Sadly, the party wasn’t as crowded as I imagined these industry things are and the free drinks were wamp-wamp. Patron with lemonade? Women are definitely running this rap shit. My homey Panama came through and beat me in the head for not coming to his ‘Make It Last Forever’ video premiere party. Panama is my dude and all, but I have a serious issue with buying liquor. If you want me to appear at your party you need to make sure I am drinking for free.

fab xxl
fab xxl

Another superstar in the building was Gabe T. who I want to say is the general manager over at Def Jam. When Gabe T. is working an artist he is working that artist. He’s been excited about the Fabolous project for a minute, but then again he was excited about the Jadakiss and Rick Ro$$ albums too. I’m sure Gabe T. will be telling me to fux with the Juelz Santana joint later this summer. Even though the crowd was meager and lazy Fab still made his appearance. Fab has to be a good dude because he let some fugly chick hug his ass for a minute.

If I was a real life celebrity I wouldn’t let fugly chicks hug me, but since I am only a celebrity on the internets I am down to hug any chick that wants it. Retarded with Down’s Syndrome? Quadriplegic? Amputee? Leper? Hells yeah to all of ‘em. I’m a sucker for love and free booze. Now that I am getting invites to the industry elite soirees I think its time I bathed on the regulack.

fab xxl
fab xxl

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  • Pierzy

    I think Fab has gotten better every year and I thought his last disc was really strong. His flow and wordplay are ridiculous and he’s probably not as revered as he should be because of his radio spins but the dude knows how to make a hit.

    As far as letting fugly girls hug you, we all know they try the hardest and maybe some even have their own money so why not?

    • BIGNAT

      yeah fab can make a hit but his albums should not even be seen as solo projects. he always has so many people on his albums it pisses me off. gangsta don’t play off from nothin’ to somethin’ was crazy. my mom even likes that song and she hates rap.

  • http://www.sylermusic.com Syler

    Pierzy! You check out my drop on the other blog about Drake?

    Fab is dope, but IMO he could have switched his style up a bit a couple albums ago. Every album feels the same.

    • Morris

      yo syler can you send the link about your drake post

      • Pierzy

        Word, Syler, I didn’t get a chance to peep it. You know I’d love to check it out though!

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    shiiieeet a party wit’ snowflakes can’t be to bad you know they knock a couple drinks down then shit turns to the playboy mansion where ever they at! at least thats how the cinderella’s where i’m from get down. you ever want some super sick shaft surfin buy a white gurl a hieneken and shot of 1800!!*SIDENOTE:a couple lines of coke never hurt niether FYI* OH BOY!!…..now thats FABULOUS!

  • http://www.incilin.blogspot.com Incilin

    “I’m definitely looking to cop feels on Clover Hope if she shows up. I like the way she writes.”

    ^^ SMH, dude that is so fucked up you would actually write that.

  • capcobra

    fab is like the tim duncan of rap…boring and simple but very successful…mixtape rapper that makes a chick song and a hood song…drops the album…do his numbers…do his features and r&b remixes…dissappear…and comeback and do it the exact same way the next time..can’t hate that.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    “I buy a beer, spark a L, but don’t fuck wit no dust…” –DJ Lucky Luke

    Damn, when the fuck they gonna start inviting blog commentors to these events? I would’ve had to finally had a chance to swing on Soulja Boy for those gay-ass specs he sports…whut–that was Fabolous?! Fuck outta here! The fuck he doing with some Soulja Boy Shades on?! Aww man, homey…in high school…

    At least DP keeps it real…real rugby that is.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    Oh, and who wants me to pay The Chef a visit? I’m a get them damn masters out his hands and fuck shit up on MegaUpload–watch me!

    OB4CLNiggazII out soon!

    • Pierzy

      Herbz, what do you think would happen if they invited like 10 of us to one of these things?

      • Jamal7Mile

        WE’D RUN AMOK!!! The bar would run out. A few of us would grab the mic and steal the show. We’d finally get arrested… but we’d make the cover of XXL next month!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Free booze & fugly broads…..watch out, sounds like an episode of Maury in the making.

    I’ll give it to you, DP [||]. You’re still a fan of this hip hop thing. That’s good. It’s apparent you do it from the heart. Most cats would’ve went, got drunk as hell, squeezed up on some anonymous white chicks (those two behind Fab look like the Wayans Bros are doing a sequel!!), then wrote about MJ today. That’s what’s up, sir.

    As far as Fab, I was a fan with the first two albums, then kind of found something else to bump. But, with the direction that this “new, improved” Def Jam is going in, its his lane right now. There’s nothing stopping him but air & opportunity.

    • Master Cheef

      lmao at those girls being a wayans brothers sequel.

  • Nessa XXL

    so that means u wanna come to the next one, dallas?
    we should take a picture at that one!
    i said, fuck the loso drink and went for the patron shots.

    • $ykotic

      So is that you in the flick under DP?

      You said you were 5′ 1″…

  • OG Matt Herbz

    We’d link up with DP, attack the bar from the front and the back, get sloshed, flip tables, talk shit to a Drake-type rapper, slap an ass or two, yell out “Who else want it with Hollywood Colt?”, punch a Soulja Boy-type rapper in their face, break out with all the promotional CDs that fit in our pockets, then watch the innanet going nuts as we make the “NEWS” section of XXLmag.com AND make the servers crash when millions check out the “BLOGGERS” section to see what we say next.

    Word up cousin…I seen it. Like a 27″ Zenith–believe it!

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      You heard it DP.

      Bring the Commission next time. You have the luxury of having you’re own entourage already. We all know us NetHeads already suffer from numerous psychological disorders anyway…..

      Better start printing up those DallasPenn.com tshirt, juice. Stat!

      Bonus for The ‘Mission: I don’t drink any more, so that’s more booze for y’all.


      • Pierzy

        Sounds like a party to me…what else do you need?

        • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

          I’m down! COMMISSION!

        • $ykotic

          Watch when I go back to NY in August. Think I’m not going up to “Tha Office”?

          “Yeah my name is $ykotic…”

          I’ma post a jpeg soon for them Commission shirts. Hell I need to wiki it for them biters out there!

          Dp I want that Polo shirt and hat U have!

  • El Tico Loco

    See you was doing the thing at the Nickel Fest (in your own black Ron Jeremy meets Lo life’s kinda way), but I still smash one of them industry broads (groupies) for GP.

  • latino heat

    congratulations D.P.! from sidewalk pimpin’ to the V.I.P. now that’s the ultimate come up.

    as far as crashing one of these industry shindigs, we can come through that bitch in Commission jerseys just everybody knows what’s up.


    *Gucci Mane voice* WELL DAMN!!!

    • Detroit P


  • Master CHeef

    fab does have some sick wordplay. if he would make some gutter music, i would fux wit it. I just can’t handle all these watered down jada-like R&B songs.

    Good look on moving up to VIP, Dallas. I’d sho nuff be down to have some dranks and dank with you and the commission.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    Yo homeboy that track jacket looks official and so does the hat ,if its snow bunnies ya’ll want and free liq,catch a flight to Minnesota ,tell DP to do a drop on 1st Ave drinks on me cuz we get it crackin!

  • http://www.rule4080.com Seed

    Thanks for the shout Dallas. You’re a fool for discriminatin’ against fugly chicks when u make it to the top. lol.

  • dynamik008

    SLUAGHTERHOUSE should have gotten the cover. WTH IS THIS SHIT!!! But I’m not mad at Fab getting it. He’s good. Still though, Slaughterhouse should have gotten it

  • Dallas Penn

    Pierzy, $yk, Grand$, Commission what up?

    I do my shit in the streets like we all would if we had the chance. I’m that notorious nigga backstage going into craft services even before the artists.

    Nessa XXL,
    Let me find out that you are hardbody like that taking Patron shots. Def let me take a pic with you at the next party. Do you dance? I got the meanest big man floor game since Pun. Try me out ([ll] to me talking to the boss all familiar like).

    • $ykotic

      “I got salmon on the grill/Hennessey on the bill/shrimp skewers on the side/model chicks to cop a feel…” $ykotic right now in the backyard.

      Gotta love WiFi.

      Don’t think you get off not dropping on Sunday DP! HA HA!

      B E Z

      p.s. Don’t think I’m not charging $5 a plate! BK all day, OK!

  • geico lizard

    Ill be the only nigga in nashville rocking that “Commission” t-shirt.

  • $ykotic

    OK so I just had the hood BBQ in my backyard. Ill as hell. Pulled out the projection TV and the Cerwin-Vegas(who knows about those?).

    Let the people decide right? Did a lot of new music dropping but these are important to share:

    Played Deeper Than Rap. The C.O./COP business came up(“$yk you f*cking with that cop ass n*gga?”)

    Played So Far Gone(Who that? Who? Drakes? $yk’s playing some Ho-Ho, creme filling ass n*gga!)

    Rolled some of the videos out.

    “Yo stop playing that fat ass n*gga’s songs.”
    “Who this dry ass n*gga with the b*tches?(Drake). You ain’t got no WALE?

    Play “The One”(Slaughterhouse). Dancing occurs.
    “Them n*ggas is HOT! Burn me some of their sh*t for the rider. $yk make me a CD. Send me the mp3′s. Can I get that CD?

    Play Maino’s “If Tomorrow…” That n*gga is official I HEARD. Where did you get this at?

    Play 3 a.m. A SING A LONG OCCURS.
    Play Criminology. A SING A LONG OCCURS.

    Play “War Angel”. 50! I LOVE THAT N*GGA! I NEED A COPY!

    $YK: Download it. It’s free on his site.


    $YK: He has another one coming out tomorrow.

    “GIVE ME BOTH!!!”

    Played “Ok, You’re Right” video on projector. 6 times later, still playing “Ok, You’re Right” video.

    Wrap up the backyard burning and go ride to cop them swishers. Playing “War Angel” in the car.

    While the 3 chicks go inside the store and leave one with me, parking lot pimping comes into effect over “War Angel”. Go in rocking “Respect it Or Check It” and leave playing “Get The Message”. A loooonnnggg time. Just got back home.

    The after party ain’t even start yet. Plates, els & beverage for sale.

    Now I’ma get my buzz on. Keep y’all posted.


    BTW, “For Being Polite”, “My Cheri Amour”, “Ben”, “Heartbreak Hotel(This Place)”, “What You Don’t Know”, “Dancing Machine”, “Lady In My Life”, “Get On The Floor”, “Stranger In Moscow”, “I Am Love”, “P.Y.T.”, “Remember The Time”, “Dangerous”, “She’s A Rhythm Child”.


  • $ykotic

    *Wiping the crust out, spark the lighter*


    Was a good night/morning. 64 people in attendance. GP(Gross Profit) stands at over two beans even with feeding the needy, no laughter. Just looking out.

    Cats didn’t even know Cam’ron dropped a new CD. They really didn’t receive Mos’ new joint(Dante step it up!). But the big winners of my experiment were 50, Cam, Slaughterhouse, Wu(didn’t even pay “Chef’s Apron”), NaS(Untitled, Illmatic), ILL & AL SCRATCH, Suga Free, DMX(Slipping, Get @ Me…), UGK(finally cracked that open. Fuego.).

    BTW played Wayne(“You don’t have anything else? Tired of hearing that n*gga…”).

    Please believe I played Gucci/SB/OJ and the response was lukewarm.

    Now before the haters jump in, this was a kaleidescope of people at my house. ALL COLORS(BOTH WAYS. This is westcoast). ALL ages(except under 21).

    Do I need to tell the Michael Jackson response? THE KING OF POP.

    I’m about to wake one of these dudes up to help me thru the day. You gotta keep an apprentice around and maybe show them something that will break the doldrum they’re in.

    Got a big cookout/camper at my spot by the lake tomorrow. Gotta go food shopping and get the music ready. Moments like this is when I like what the internet can do.

    Shouts to Brooklyn. Wish I could fly my dudes over here. I know how it feels to be stuck in the pj’s in times like this over there(OMG that was a bar!).

    Count your blessings. And overcome your fears.

  • $ykotic

  • Nessa XXL

    now don’t it get confused – i’m no drinker

    i actually just wanna twist up…………………!!

    but people were putting patron shots in my face all night so i had to. and i only dance when i drink… :)

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