Proof Bol can make you famous

You know, I joke about how women should get with me in order to launch a career as a video ho, or some other career for a woman in hip-hop that doesn’t necessarily involve sex, if there is such a thing, but I’m only half-joking.

Hip-hop is full of examples of women who built a name off getting with a rapper, and they aren’t even necessarily good rappers. Joe Budden isn’t even in the top 50 rappers of all time, and that didn’t stop Taheezo from almost getting on the cover of King magazine; I’m either the number one or the 29th best hip-hop blogger, depending on whether you get your news from the late, great Hip Hop Connection, or the late, great Vibe magazine. (You should probably be getting your news from a magazine that hasn’t gone out of business.)

Indeed, there’s been a number of examples of women trying to get with yours truly, for business purposes.

I had a girl send me pictures of her cans, to try to convince me to review her boyfriend’s album. I’ve looked at the picture, more than once, but I’ve yet to listen to the album. Perhaps if someone actually brought a hoo-er to me, on a leash, as RA the Rugged Man was known to do back in the late ’90s. It’s a wonder his career hasn’t gone any further than it has. Maybe it’s because that was before hip-hop blogging had reached its full potential. If you’ve got a real job, working for white people, what do you need with one of RA the Rugged Man’s hoo-ers.

Then there’s this Puerto Rican woman who keeps offering to fly me down to Atlanta, probably so she can rob me. Maybe you’re familiar with that situation. I’m halfway tempted to go, just to see what would happen, but something tells me nothing good would come of it. If she was really interested in breaking me off with some stank, to help take her career to the next level, she wouldn’t have approached me in such a public manner. You wouldn’t even have heard about the relations, at least not right away. You just would have seen her career skyrocket…

But it’s hard to prove that you can have any actual positive effect on these hoo-ers’ careers, when there’s all of these barriers to a brother sealing the deal. It makes sense on paper, but so did Charles Hamilton’s career at some point in time or another.

That is, until now. The new Drake video, which I wrote about at length the other day, could be the first example of the hip-hop blogosphere making a video ho’s career. I’m pretty sure that Rosa Acosta, one of the ridonkulously well endowed, erm, models featured in “Best I Ever Had” was discovered on hip-hop blogs. In fact, Kanye West, who directed “Best I Ever Had,” may have first read about her on my site. (I’d say she owes me!)

Allow me to explain. See, a few weeks ago, I did a post about excercise video she was in. It had become a big hit on hip-hop blogs after first being posted over at the Smoking Section. I actually first heard about it over at my good friend eskay’s site, since I don’t get over to the Smoking Section as often as I’d like. (There’s only so many hours in a day.) Then I didn’t bother watching it right away, since I know the Smoking Section was big on those Panamanian cricket girls, which I thought were kinda weird and kinda gross-looking, then come to find out they were fake.

But I kept hearing about this stretching video, and once I finally had a look, of course I had to go in. That is, I did a post on it. And I’m thinking this might be where Kanye first found out about her. As I wrote at the time, this stretching video wasn’t a hip-hop video per se, and there wasn’t any evidence on the Internets that she was pursuing a career as a video ho, though obviously she could have one if she wanted to. And Kanye and I have a long and sordid history together. No fishsticks. I don’t have the time to recount it all here, but suffice it to say he’s aware of my site.

I might have to start scouring the Internets, even more so than I already have been, looking for hoo-ers I might be able to get into a rap videos. Ladies, if you feel like that should have been you in “Best I Ever Had,” you know where I can be reached. Lest we forget, Kanye saw Amber Rose in one of these ass magazines and made her his new woman. There could be more in this for you than just the $500 per diem, or whatever it is a video ho makes. Though, let’s keep it real, some of you could use the $500.

Speaking of which, I don’t want to hear any more talk from black chicks about how come they can’t be in a rap video anymore. This latest development just goes to show, the way to get ahead in life is not by antagonizing Bol. That’s just gonna get your feelings hurt.

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    I think you should fly to Atlanta. I mean, how much do you have that she could rob anyway?

    • $ykotic

      LOL

    • OG Matt Herbz

      For real. Come down here. Hit up Zaxby’s for their Club Combo. It’s better than (some) pussy.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

  • http://xxlmag.com brandon Robinson

    half the stuff BOL be talking about is not worth writing an article about i like some of his blogs but sometimes you get get one like this one who cares sometimes he overanalyzes shit

  • I RUN THIS…

    I say go to Atlanta…

  • http://xxl All Dae

    Women are still handled like cattle in the “09″.

    Bol should practice talking and mackin a female in his hometown before takin on web and industry hos.

    Sure Bol can write a good game and on paper Bol can get a nice white girl but in person I bet ole Bol will be fumblin around and talkin bout computers….

    I’d hate to see a female set Bols azz up and he’s filmed tryin to holla or worse puttin on a condom.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Nah, I say don’t go Bol. Puerto Rican Chicks are wild. Plus, it might be a set up. Bun B might be behind it.

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      ^^^
      or worse lupe!! he might be settin you up to get that foot in ya ass!! watch ya self bol.

    • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

      Grand$, my fiancée is Puerto Rican…I guess you’re saying I should be careful?

      • OG Matt Herbz

        Shit, Pierzy…ya te chingaste…

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          @P

          Tread with caution, friend.

          A health mix of Black(ish) & Hispanic…..

          God has not recreated such a molotov cocktail.

          Handle with care & you’ll be fine.

        • $ykotic

          I told y’all my ex wife is Boricua. No matter how many pots and dishes are thrown, regardless of “the mouth”(Pierzy LEARN SPANISH), whenever I leave I’m expected to hit it.

          That ain’t kosher. She’s “gotta man”. The brain is heavenly though…

        • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

          What up y’all…thank you for your thoughts (prayers?) and input. It is definitely appreciated.

          Honestly, I think I’ll be aight because (a) she grew up in the ‘burbs so while she’s PR, she’s not addicted to the hood like her cousins, (b) I speak more Spanish than she does, (c) her parents, specifically her mom, are normal and down to earth, (d) she’s a smart girl who is also getting her master’s and definitely pulling her weight with house and wedding costs, and (e) her temper can be crazy but she keeps it in check more than even most white girls I know/have dated. I know it all changes but we’ve lived together for 3 years so I’m aware of what sets her off. I’ve never had an issue with creating a scene…if I had met her in my (and her) early 20′s maybe things would’ve been different but she’s not typical and definitely not the jealous type so I think I might have a shot.

          $yk, I appreciate your insights but that’s a crazy scenario…

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          @P

          That’s what’s up. With all that said, enjoy.

          Marriage one of the best things moving, & it sounds like you got the masterplan for the blueprint (no DP).

          Good luck & congrats! Btw, when’s the wedding?

        • $ykotic

          @ Pierzy

          Yeah, man.

        • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Piezy

          Thanks fellas…

          Wedding is 10.09.10. Plenty of time to run. Ha!

      • latino heat

        yo P, please be careful. i had a ex that was ‘Rican. that bitch came up to my job a few times, tried to stab me, started a fist fight in front of a bunch of my homies at a bbq, and pepper sprayed me one time. they are fine but damn they got issues.

  • latino heat

    nah. Bun B and Lupe know that if you want to bait Bol into a setup you got to use a white girl.

  • giantstepp

    Ayo Bol, listen that voice telling you NOT to go! Stay your ass home…you been hating hard on the south for years so it has to be a set up! Them dirty south dudes gonna tear you a new one. no fishsticks!

  • sATaLyte

    Nigga rob you for what?!

    • $ykotic

      LOL

      Bol go to NYC and hit Latin Quarter(NO PLAXICO).

      Tell them to meet you there and rent a room @ The Lexington Hotel. Police protection & a delicious pick of the litter.

      You’re not ready for Copacabana. They would eat you alive there.

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      ^^^^
      for dem dr.erving glasses!! ROFL!

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Keep in mind Byron, live broads aren’t like pr0n vixens.

        So, make sure you bathe. Sometimes you come across as a “only on Saturdays” dude to me. Body odor is a turn off to human chicks. Invest in a bottle of cologne (chicks dig Brut, fyi).

        & you might want to get some new glasses frames. Less Mr. Magoo, more Quincy Jones. There’s a thin line between looking smart & looking like you’re just waiting on an ass kicking.

        Women take advantage of guys with low self esteem. Pretend you love yourself, & don’t let her notice your arm that’s bigger than the other one. She’ll know how inexperienced you are with actual intercourse, & while us men are turned on with girls who self-pleasure, that shit just grosses chicks out when they imagine us having @ ourselves. Especially if there’s a beer-belly to reach around.

        Godspeed.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Keep in mind Byron, live broads aren’t like pr0n vixens.

    So, make sure you bathe. Sometimes you come across as a “only on Saturdays” dude to me. Body odor is a turn off to human chicks. Invest in a bottle of cologne (chicks dig Brut, fyi).

    & you might want to get some new glasses frames. Less Mr. Magoo, more Quincy Jones. There’s a thin line between looking smart & looking like you’re just waiting on an ass kicking.

    Women take advantage of guys with low self esteem. Pretend you love yourself, & don’t let her notice your arm that’s bigger than the other one. She’ll know how inexperienced you are with actual intercourse, & while us men are turned on with girls who self-pleasure, that shit just grosses chicks out when they imagine us having @ ourselves. Especially if there’s a beer-belly to reach around.

    Godspeed……..

    • Bobo D

      “& don’t let her notice your arm that’s bigger than the other one”
      ^^^^

      From all the prOn “exercise” I’m guessing.

  • geico lizard

    My advice is the same here as it is on your site Bol just follow your gut concerning deliz. If you find a wife through blogging it will make a good story for your book.

  • Harra$$

    Yall stupid, Lol Bol go head come to the A! Shawty u aint ready. Either puerto rican or black. I f u aint comin with some game intact u wont b going back! Remeber this is da land of the strip clubs! dont end up like Terry Cruz in White Chicks. Ha!