No parole for umpteen time offenders

For the sake of not working too hard on a Friday afternoon, because I’m black, here’s five quick thoughts on the new song by Jay-Z, “Run This Town,” featuring Kanye and Rihanna.

1) I thought Jay-Z was against autotune.

Rihanna might not be using that same effect T-Pain uses, where it sounds like he’s a computer, but there’s probably some sort of correction on her vocals. It’s just hard to tell, because you hardly ever hear her real singing voice, which probably sounds like crap. Not to let you fruits in on more than you need to know about me, but there was a period of about two weeks back in like 2002 when I thought Avril Lavigne was a pretty good singer. When I was in college, that song “Complicated” would come on the radio in the lunch room once a day for like two years straight, when they weren’t listening to the country station. And I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t my least favorite song. Then I read somewhere that she was singing through some program that could make any ol’ bum off the street sound decent. It was the same program J-Lo used to use, back when she was singing. Anyway, this just goes back to what I was saying about Jay-Z not being in any position to act as the great defender of real hip-hop.

2) It’s a good thing T.I. is in the joint.

That last T.I. album, Paper Trail, which really is a credit to its region, spent something like half of last year near the top of the Billboard charts, primarily on account of singles like “Whatever You Like” and “Live Your Life.” This new Jay-Z song sounds like a half-assed cross between the two of them. Coincidence? Nigga, please! Jay-Z might be the most cynical person I’m aware of, period. He saw how well those T.I. songs did and he had Kanye craft him a knock-off version. That might even be why Blueprint 3 got pushed back from last fall to 9/11 of this year. He figured he’d wait until T.I. was in the pokey, where he couldn’t complain about Jay ripping him off, or, better yet, come up with his own, superior version of “Run This Town.” This is just like when Bill Hicks died and Denis Leary put out an album with several of his jokes on it and had the sheer balls to call it No Cure for Cancer. At least he had a sense of humor about it.

3) Doug Morris won.

I’m listening to Jay-Z rap, poorly, about how he’s down $5 million, from his dice game with tall Israeli Doug Morris, and I’m wondering if the main reason he gave him $5 million in the first place is so he could rap about it. Why else would he pay $5 million just so he could take his album to the label down the block? If there was a good explanation, you’d think he would have included it in this song, since he went out of his way to mention it in the first place. But it sounds like he just wants us to be impressed by the fact that he had $5 million to lose in a dice game. Um, okay. Also, the fact that this song sucks balls makes me wonder if Doug Morris really did listen to the album before he let Jay-Z pay him $5 million to take it elsewhere. He probably did, and if he thought it was worth a shit, that probably wouldn’t have been an option.

4) Kanye murdered Jay on his own shit.

I’d suggest Kanye start writing rhymes for Jay, but I’m not sure if Kanye’s writing his own shit. I’ve been aware that Kanye uses ghost writers (and ghost producers) since back before Jose Hustle had Polo, but sometimes Kanye’s verses are so retarded you have to think he wrote them. There’s no way he actually paid someone to write them. Just now, like minutes ago, I saw there was some shit on Vlad TV about how Consequence writes rhymes for Kanye, but I didn’t bother clicking on it, because I didn’t give a shit, and that was before I started “researching” this post. Anyhoo, it’s not that Kanye’s verse is particularly good, it’s that Jay-Z’s verse is so bad. It’s almost certainly a new all-time low for Jay. It’s like he’s just talking out of his ass. Even more so than usual.

5) Wine is the new malt liquor.

I identified this trend a few weeks ago, when I saw the video for “Death of Autotune” and I noticed how the camera lingered on Jay-Z sipping a glass of wine, as if no one in hip-hop ever drank any wine before. And who knows, maybe they haven’t. Unless you want to count Brass Monkey, the shit that probably gave MCA mouth cancer and hence fucked up Lollapalooza. And I’m not sure if that counts as wine, even though it’s commonly found on the bum wine shelf. It wasn’t clear to me whether Jay-Z had taken some money from the people who make Ace of Spades to feature a certain brand of wine, or if he was just trying to kick start a trend, like when he had fools walking around in button down shirts and baseball caps. In “Run This Town,” Kanye mentions Riesling, which is a variety rather than a brand, and Jay-Z, as far as I know doesn’t mention any wine, though he may or may not have mentioned Ace of Spades. So it could just be that him and Kanye have gotten really into wine – Riesling in particular. How gay.

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    Jay is one of my favorite artists of all time but #4 is the realest shit you ever wrote…

  • Curtis75Black

    I 2nd that Pierzy !! Jay’s verses was asscrack.

  • David HussleSoft

    Im not really a fan of this song but this post was really wack. This song is totally over critiqued. It seems like you listened to the song 40 times and picked it apart.

    And please explain to me how drinking wine is gay? Whatever.

    Back to what I sayin this drop is wack XXL should drop you and give Pierzy or Grand your spot. Your shit is gettin tired. Not hatin its just the truth

    David HussleSoft cuz I stay on Ye watch

    • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

      @HussleSoft -

      Thanks for the compliment, fam! Appreciate it…

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Yeah, thanks Dave. Good looks…

        • $ykotic

          Word Bol what’s good? Oh yeah you get green every time Jigga appears…

          Talk real wine, not that Thunderbird sh*t. You watch too much TV dawg.

          #3 is your best point.

          Leave your schlong alone for a minute and get you’re mind right family.

        • Silly Willy

          5) Wine is the new malt liquor.

          I identified this trend a few weeks ago, when I saw the video for “Death of Autotune” and I noticed how the camera lingered on Jay-Z sipping a glass of wine, as if no one in hip-hop ever drank any wine before

          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
          Come on Bol, you noticed it a few weeks ago ? Remember on KC, on the Dre track he did, I think it was 30 something, he said : “You drink Don, but not rosé ” It was like 3 years ago…….But of course no one gave that album a listen, but since you work for the X-spot, even if you’re lazy or starving for pr0n, you could’ve seen it before……Not hating, just saying.

          I agree with $yk, 3 was the most valid point.

          I still kinda like the song though.

          Keep up the good work, Byron !

        • http://www.byroncrawford.com/ Bol

          Reread the bit you excerpted. I didn’t say the trend began a few weeks ago. I was referring to a post I did on my own site.

          http://www.byroncrawford.com/2009/06/i-was-drinking-wine-before-it-was-all-trendy.html

          Your parents and your high school just lost.

        • $ykotic

          Real quick,

          In my LIQ cabinet I have 2 bottles of wine that retail @ $135 each. Chardonnays.

          Right next to the Henney Paradis. And Johnny Walk-it-out black label reserve.

          With 4 of the Sterling red’s ($15-$20 @ Safeway) on deck for the “house parties”.

          But I’ll get a taste and cop an Ol’ E. I used to chug a 64 oz. and still cop a small peach Cisco for the party.

          I fukks with you Bol but I wouldn’t order a soda with pasta.

          PEACE SW

        • Silly Willy

          Come on, Byron! I like your work ! But I reread it and you mention nothing about another post you did. My parents and high school ain’t got nothing to do with it. I ain’t got no beef with you, bruh, don’t pull a wavy on me. Why you so homotional ?

          Anyway, you were doing everything back before it was all trendy, right ? So I guess you just put the tight-ass jeans back in your closet now, huh ?

          Just kidding, Bol! Don’t get your cholesterol up! Save the fire for the bloggers’ beef. If Eskay don’t respond, you still can go back at Lupe, right ? St-Louis ain’t that far, that should be interesting………….

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Lol.

          Get ‘em Willy.

        • Silly Willy

          Lol

          Nah, Tony! Bol my dawg! He just forgot to chill. I mean, nothing a good pr0n couldn’t heal.

          Gotta coordinate, that’s all fam !

    • Stew

      Stay off Ye’s Cock you weenie hijacker….. what kind of dumb name is Husslesoft?

  • shonuff86

    I don’t know BOL, judging from the posts these past couple weeks its seems like your softening up to Kanye West, I think may be a closet Ye fan.

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    There’s either a lack of white women around or Mcdonalds is closed in Bol’s neck of the woods.Two post, one day, Bol drowning his keyboard in twinkie sweat! Nah fuckin’ wit’ you, but yeah Jay need to put that Jersey up there and call it done.When the gay kid in moon boots starts goin all Iverson on you on ya’ shit it’s time to chill.Rihana suck drizzy balls.period.that bitch couldn’t sing her way outta charlie wingates case.

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      “When the gay kid in moon boots starts goin all Iverson on you on ya’ ”
      <<<<<<- OR WORSE A NIGGA DRESSED LIKE THIS!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    It seems like Jay was playing “Uncle Jigga” on this song.

    He drops “D.O.A”, which had to hurt Ye’s feelings. If 50 made Kanye pout over a couple of sentences, that song probably sent him into mild depression. So, what do you get the man who has everything already? An opportunity to outshine you on your next single.

    & RiRi is fresh off of stress leave, & Jay’s been chaperoning her around the world, so its only right that he gives her some shine as well. He could’ve but Beyonce on there, who can actually kind of sing, but what do I know.

    I refuse to believe Jiggaman’s out of clever shit to say. But, you never know.

    • Silly Willy

      What’s good, Tony ?

      Did you notice how, for like every Jay album since the hiatus, the first single off the album is never the best from it ?

      I don’t know how they choose it, really…..

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        @Silly Willy

        Nada mayne, what’s popping?

        Yeah, I think that whole release strategy of Jay’s is a nod back to the era of music he group up on.

        80′- early 90′s. Back then, by the time a cat had a record deal, he had fans. His buzz was set, by appearing on other dude’s albums & whatnot. So, the first single was just to let the people know that it’s his turn. Plus, Jay can release a few okay joints & cats are going to still check for him.

        I said a couple months back that he has nothing left to prove. If you’re not a Jigga fan by now, you won’t ever be. & if you are one, like an Em fan, you’ll be one even through the hate.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          One more thing.

          The way it SHOULD go, is one drop’s a single, If the people bite, then you go to pick up the album for even BETTER music. This new era has it backwards.

          The first single is some real clean joint, then they buy the album & are disappointed. I think that whole debacle contributed to the decline of record sales, especially now that I can rape the Net for all the songs I dig.

        • Silly Willy

          Co-sign all day !!!

          You nailed it once again, Tony !

  • Phillmatic

    Jay’s rhymes have been awful for years now. He just doesn’y know it because everytime he performs live, retards recite his inane shite back to him. And if he’s doing a freestyle you never hear how shit it is because easily impressed Jay Stans are constantly shouting “Oooooh” at every other word he says.

    Remember on Chappelle’s Show when he was in the barber shop with John Mayer and ?usetlove and that dude spits a few bars and ends with “pow, suprise!” and then says “Ooooh” to his own shit? It won’t be long ’till Jay’s doing that. Trust me.

    • geico lizard

      “You beating me is like Billy Crystal playing Scarface”-unknown extra on Chappelles Show

  • http://youtube.com/thelupend thelupend

    The song is pretty good it’s just that Blueprint 3 is so over hyped that People are expecting a Masterpiece now.And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE JAY CAN’T LIVE UP TO THAT HYPE.I don’t have a problem with Rihanna it’s just that when you hear a blueprint 3 song you don’t expect to hear Rihanna on the chorus ,that’s all. AS FOR KANYE HEÄS KILLING EVRYTHING HE TOUCHES RIGHT NOW, DROPPING AN ALBUM RIGHT NOW WOULD BE GREAT,I KNOW HE WOULD KILL EVERY TRACK.jay also went hard.

    SHOUT OUT TO JAY-Z KANYE WEST AND RIHANNA AND BEYONCE!

    ONE LOVE

  • Avenger XL

    The beat and hook on this song was too solid for Jay to lame freestyle the whole thing like he did. If you are not going to put more passion in your craft it is time to quite and bragging about money in a recession isn’t a good look. With all that said this is intended for the hip-pop fans it will probably turn off hip-hop fans because of its meh lyricism. I broke down ye’s bars and he did ok given the fact jigga didn’t try. Not to mention Ye is the king of hip-pop.

  • Silly Willy

    The thing with Kanye is that he’s so self-conscious and so egotistical that he feels he has to get everyone’s nod, which is wonderful if you ask me. He’s yet to be fully embraced by th hardcore hiphoppers. So he’ll keep spitting fire, and I love it !

    Jay should stop making eventful albums. I mean, I don’t want him to ever retire, because we all need someone of his caliber to be around, like a lighthouse, not to guide necessarily, but to show that with talent, if you work hard you can survive in this bullshit-ass industry and be timeless.
    But he should stick to concept-albums, or even more personal ones, the ones that don’t have nothing to do with trying be the best-seller, just something personal we can feel……like when Robert Plant, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck or any other rock legend alive right now do when they put out an album. You know it’s gonna be something great, wonderful, but it won’t be played on the radio. He shouldn’t pander to the sales at this point of his career. Then again, the guy signed a gazillion dollars deal, so what do I know. He’ll be doing great with tours and concept albums, I think……..

    • JOBIE

      So you’re saying Jay needs to pull a Ye and make a personal Album? (808′s & Heartbreak – Autotune)???

  • http://xxl All Dae

    dont know what bol heard but i like the song. i feel everyone came off and Kanye killed it. good point on #3. there is a lot of fuzzy math regarding jayz buying his masters and not releasing BP3 on def jam. why wouldn’t the TIs release it on the lable jayz made wild cream for and was the pres.?
    the song is formula but a good concoction, so dont fix whats not broke.

  • Brooklyn

    jay fell off years ago, i was listening to “can i live” off reasonable doubt the other day and it was hard to believe that it was the same dude. jay just doesn’t rap the same anymore, the passion is gone. his rhymes have been somewhat lackluster the last few years and his music was geared more towards the mainstream instead of the hip-hop/rap audience. i don’t care for the song but it’s probably gonna do well simply because jay, rihanna, and kanye are on it, as well as because of the fact that it’s your quintessential hip-pop song

  • Mutada al sader the king

    Bol, dont think I ever agreed with you more. This song was ass, and I’m tired of giving Camel a pass because he’s Camel. I own, as in purchased every single Jay album with the exception of the last two, I’ve been a fan since RD. But this aint the same Camel your mother warned you about.

    His style and lyrics are lazy, he’s still doing that lame freestyle shit, and what happned to leading ? I liked when he did the hard knock life type shit, were he would pick a beat and black out. This nigga jumped on Kanye’s nuts so tuff he might be the gay rapper himself. Sorry 0-2

  • DJ Postman

    “Anyhoo, it’s not that Kanye’s verse is particularly good, it’s that Jay-Z’s verse is so bad”

    This is sad but true. Any way you look at it, though, Jay is one of the best to ever do it, dead or alive. So you can say that he fell off or that his lyrics aren’t as good anymore or however you want to hate on him. Just be clear: he’s got $5 million just to get out of a record deal and YOU don’t. Haters keep it moving.

  • http://foshiggadale.blogspot.com Digi, Mon

    People seem to forget that Hov never drops any of the truly great songs off any of his albums as the first single, yeah the song sounds like a cash grab and that’s because it is, Jay-Z is the biggest name NY has left, and paired with Kanye & Rihanna, there is no way this doesn’t dominate and get all the people who actually go to the store and buy the albums interested (mostly white women and Jay stans)…..if people are this pissed off that Rihanna’s on there, wait ’til they hear Drake and probably either MIA or Santogold

  • JollyRench

    “Brooklyn Go Hard”, “D.O.A”, and “Run This Town” are three unimpressive singles. Jay-Z is really starting to get complacent,he doesn’t spit with heart anymore, just all the other trash the other rappers are talking about.

  • Dallas Penn

    LMAO! I prA’li might should kill myself now. Before I read this drop I had a whole Twitter rant about Jay-Z getting killed by KanYe on this shitty track.

    I also mentioned how I liked Reisling for its “fruity notes”.

    I now have to say that I put fishsticks in my mouth.

  • DazzOne

    Auto-tune what most these artist use to make their songs sound pitch perfect. T-Pain just turns it up to ‘Full-Annoyance’.

  • http://aol.com chris

    jay z ok but he’s been fallin off fr a long time

  • Sajib

    I’m a huge jay supporter but i got bad feeling about this album. Jockin Jay-Z, DOA, and Brooklyn Go Hard all failed at creating an actual buzz and pretty much sucked. And I couldn’t even finish listening to Run This Town cuz that shit sounded soooo lazy and wack.

  • http://davidcano23.blogspot.com davey23

    Everyone always faps on about RD like it excuses the fact that Jay hasn’t dropped anything to validate his status in years. He’s been garbage for a good while now. D.O.A could have been a banger of epic proportions but it was lacklustre as shit. Say what you want about gayfish, he keeps it innovative. As for Rhianna, that bitch’s forehead makes me wanna spew hot chunks.

  • Teddy

    Co-Sign this shit his music since he came back from retirement reminds me of the kinda backwards crap eminem was putting out b4 he went on drug hietus like when i heard the verse on t.i. -touchdown i was just like wat the fuck verse was that coming from eminem, now its just like what the fuck hot garbage verse was that coming from jay but its happened so often now with jay im not even excited about hearing he has new shit out that blueprint 3 will be only good on the strength of its features and beats and mostly other writting and production jay didn’t do mark my words

  • Deuce53

    shoot, i havent even herd it yet, but someone hit it right on the head..if jay z braggin bout money, in the middle of the shithole our country has become, that is NOT a good look, i cant relate to that at all…but hey I remember the ppl rappin a couple weeks back, and somebody mentioned spittin shit over a beat and havin it recorded? tell me why i put the microphone in my closet, got instrumentals and the sound quality is suprisingly good…if u interested (and im always up for constructive criticism, or even other aspiring artists trynna make something pop off) myspace.com/dubssup…get at it, 1

  • kingequality

    Is it me or is some of you hiphop heads turning into bitches first kanye verse was decent it was simple enough for most heads to bounce along to and whos not gonna try to get busy on their own beat since hes been singing most of the year he been killing all his calabos lately but to start the whole soap opera shit behind the song is straight lady like yall being way to over critical just appreciate the shit as longs as its here us black people never support our own we always try to find a way to break a nigga down no wonder micheal jackson was trying to get the hell away from us yall wont understand what we had until its all gone. boi I know its your job to stirr up the naitives but your getting sweeter by the day bro you try not to identify with the average ignorant niglet but you fit in just perfectly and thats nothing to be proud of