Jesus Christ Pop Star

[Blogger's Note: I'm trying to catch up on and bury the all MJ shit as soon as possible. Thanks for your hatience.]

Shawty get loose with the tongue as well.

“--He has touched people. I was talking to my brother and I mentioned that this was like the passing of Jesus Christ. And I wasn’t joking. I was serious. Because Jesus Christ touched so many people. The story that they gave of this man, he touched so many people and healed people. You know what I mean? And Michael Jackson did the same thing not only with his music but with his performance and his personality.” – Lil' Mama, Rap Up TV

I love watching pop music wind-up dolls speak without help from songwriters and publicists.

I don’t mean to spark a religious debate, but let’s just say I’m no Christian. However, I fully encourage niggas doing whatever they must to avoid exercising the worst parts of human nature. If that bean pie or whatever keeps you off the crack and out of my open bathroom window, I’m all for it.

But, Jesus titty-fucking Christ, Lil’ Mama. Seriously?! This ‘bout some blasphemous shit right ‘chea.

Sha-mone, my nigga. Sha-mone!

Why must we canonize niggas as soon as they die? I understand not wanting to say anything disrespectful for a minute, but why embellish? Who does that benefit? By now, the hypothermia has passed and most of us are able to put Michael Jackson’s life and career in proper context. He was a great entertainer whose personal merits include doing a lot of great things for people. Cool. Got it.

If you let Lil’ Mama tell it, Pico Boulevard was the fuckin Via Dolorosa last week.

My new friend Mr. Jesus is going to make getting back you, Mama Little! He get you after he finish my neighbor, Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a stained glass, he must get a window from a stained glass. I get a two-step, he must get a two-step. I turn on a swaggings with timing piece from chocolate face diamond blood, he cannot afford. Great success!

Worse than Lil’ Mama’s theology lesson might be her insistence on Michael Jackson having “touched people”. Of course, when building a case for Jackson’s appointment to and expansion of the trinity, you want to draw attention to the elephant in the funeral home. People tend to have two knocks on Michael. They think he’s a pedophile and that he wants to be a white woman. Lil’ Mama might as well finished with a little Passion of The Ruckus.