Jesus Christ Pop Star

[Blogger's Note: I'm trying to catch up on and bury the all MJ shit as soon as possible. Thanks for your hatience.]

Shawty get loose with the tongue as well.

“–He has touched people. I was talking to my brother and I mentioned that this was like the passing of Jesus Christ. And I wasn’t joking. I was serious. Because Jesus Christ touched so many people. The story that they gave of this man, he touched so many people and healed people. You know what I mean? And Michael Jackson did the same thing not only with his music but with his performance and his personality.”Lil’ Mama, Rap Up TV

I love watching pop music wind-up dolls speak without help from songwriters and publicists.

I don’t mean to spark a religious debate, but let’s just say I’m no Christian. However, I fully encourage niggas doing whatever they must to avoid exercising the worst parts of human nature. If that bean pie or whatever keeps you off the crack and out of my open bathroom window, I’m all for it.

But, Jesus titty-fucking Christ, Lil’ Mama. Seriously?! This ‘bout some blasphemous shit right ‘chea.

Sha-mone, my nigga. Sha-mone!

Why must we canonize niggas as soon as they die? I understand not wanting to say anything disrespectful for a minute, but why embellish? Who does that benefit? By now, the hypothermia has passed and most of us are able to put Michael Jackson’s life and career in proper context. He was a great entertainer whose personal merits include doing a lot of great things for people. Cool. Got it.

If you let Lil’ Mama tell it, Pico Boulevard was the fuckin Via Dolorosa last week.

My new friend Mr. Jesus is going to make getting back you, Mama Little! He get you after he finish my neighbor, Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a stained glass, he must get a window from a stained glass. I get a two-step, he must get a two-step. I turn on a swaggings with timing piece from chocolate face diamond blood, he cannot afford. Great success!

Worse than Lil’ Mama’s theology lesson might be her insistence on Michael Jackson having “touched people”. Of course, when building a case for Jackson’s appointment to and expansion of the trinity, you want to draw attention to the elephant in the funeral home. People tend to have two knocks on Michael. They think he’s a pedophile and that he wants to be a white woman. Lil’ Mama might as well finished with a little Passion of The Ruckus.

“Michael was so close to God because he renounced the blackness within. If you’re black of skin and full of sin, please follow me on Twitter.”

[Blogger's Note: Harlem's own Brother Jimmy Manning, everybody!]

Funny thing. I wrote this shit on a Sunday.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Jackson is Lord. ron@ronmexicocity.com

Tournament Watch: Lil’ Mama’s stock is rising.

  • Calvin Stovall

    People really need to find a verb other than “touch.” Because based on his legal troubles it has a lot of bad connotations. Can we maybe all agree that Mike inspired us? Uplifted us? Amazed us…?

  • giantstepp

    Ayo Mex, I read that fuckary from Lil Mama the other day and was praying it didnt pick up steam, but I knew you’d catch it and come in hard.

    I am really,seriously at a lost for words.
    WTF Lil Mama?

  • http://www.twitter.com/randyright Randall

    First.

    I loved MJs music, but his death is no reason to hop on his jock SO hard that I compare him to Jesus Christ. She’s out of her mind…or maybe she’s just as ignorant as I thought she was…

  • http://www.twitter.com/randyright Randall

    Second.

    I loved MJs music, but his death is no reason to hop on his jock SO hard that I compare him to Jesus Christ. She’s out of her mind…or maybe she’s just as ignorant as I thought she was…

  • giantstepp

    ” don’t mean to spark a religious debate, but let’s just say I’m no Christian. However, I fully encourage niggas doing whatever they must to avoid exercising the worst parts of human nature. If that bean pie or whatever keeps you off the crack and out of my open bathroom window, I’m all for it.”

    Also Mex, this is my view bruh. Well said!

  • Bobo D

    Damn, some people take it way too far. If it ain’t Lil’ Mama, it’s bill o’rielly (but his a racist).

    I wonder if anyone told Bubbles the monkey what happened to Mike?

  • http://myspace.com/thelabelrecords Sammy P

    Jesus touched souls mj touched little boys there is a difference…

  • http://www.myspace.com/fastlifearchitects miles archer

    I dunno about Jesus Christ, but, with all the self hate and accusations of pedophilia he coulda definately been a catholic priest.

  • Capital G

    5 stars for this one! The Borat reference in the middle had me fuckin rolling! Jackson is lord, sha-mone and amen.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      @Cap G

      I see you out there, my dude. Much respect. For real.

      @ Mex

      Damn, that was easily as pathetic as Lil Kim talking to Biggie. Maybe something about the prefix “Lil” that makes niggas eventually go crazy.

      Kim. Mama. Wayne. Boosie. Bow Wow. *shrugs shoulders*

      If Mike is comparable to Jesus, then Ronald Regan was Hitler. Just a thought.

      • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

        And this is why, when you become a myspace rapper, you DO NOT put ‘Lil’ at the beginning of your moniker

  • Ron Mexico Senior

    Well let me articulate it a little clearer than what LM was trying to convey. “Throughout history great men have always been met with violent oppposistion from Mediocore minds”- Albert Einstein

    If you trace history great men that have always tried to do something good for humankind have always been met with hostility. MLK, Malcom X, Ghandi, and even Jesus Christ. Here was a man that was trying to help man kind out and how was he thanked for his efforts?? He was crucifed and after his death we prasied him. Sound familiar??

    Now before you so called Christians get your panties all twisted. No I’m not comparing those men to Jesus, however there are simalarities.

    Another thing Jesus said ” Let ye who is without sin, cast the first stone”. Its real easy to point the finger, make fun of an judge somebody but its another thing to look at your self or better yet in MJ’s words” stare at the man in the mirror”.

  • blacker cracker

    the only thing michael jackson and christ had in common: jesus juice

  • blacker cracker

    the only thing mj and christ had in common:
    jesus juice

  • Medski The Prophet

    That Lil Mama is one smart cookie.

  • blacker cracker

    the only thing thriller and christ had in common: jesus juice

  • http://xxl gside

    Man I’m trying not to hate one MJ but when I seen them to little white kids not interracial but white kid claiming to be MJ kids as a black man I got to say fuck Mike may he rest in piece , but that some bullshit can’t no cute little half black have white kids grow up rich . It ain’t a smudge of niggradom in them kids and your trying to pass them as biracial get the fuck out out of here . If anybody’s knows anything about the Jackson’s you know if they didn’t make it in the music biz they could have been models for afo sheen what this nigga change his DNA too ?

  • Shawty J

    I understand when someone dies, you want to honor them. I understand when someone influences a lot of people, everyone wants to honor them. Okay, whatever. Michael Jackson’s death recieved a little too much coverage in my opinion, prime example every episode of Larry King Live for the past couple of weeks were all about Mike. Whether people want to accept it or not, millions upon millions upon millions sold, Michael Jackson is just one guy, certainly not Jesus Christ, and the world will move on without him.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Homey, if I go to hell and you make it to the Pearly Gates, tell that nigga God we got beef. I’m pissed he ain’t give me two dicks so I could double-penetrate these hoes without having to consult another chick with a strap-on. It’s just more work for me.

    I haven’t gone in on MJ because there are a lot of people that like him. Hell, I like his music, but I just don’t know what to think about the rest of his life. I do know this: He was no Jesus Christ.

    Christ visited me in a dream about 12 years ago and fortold the wealth and fortune that I would one day accomplish. He spoke no lies. And for any of you that are wondering, he was neither white nor black. Kind of a mulatto, like a really tanned Greek man or something. Anyway, he rolled out of my dream in an entourage of Heavenly Bodies and by the looks of it, he was gonna bang them angels once they got back to the crib. He had that look in his eye…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • geico lizard

    I saw lil mama on teen cribs and even if that shit was rented(stolen), she knows how to front hard for the cameras. HDTV wasnt kind to her face unfortunately for her. She looked like marlon wayans in drag,no fishsticks.

  • ryne rich

    mikes gettin ripped apart in the media
    so much for mama tryin to save grace. borat was funny i hada read it twice to realizze what it was. mike could be talked about all day, rip. i would go into like if mj is christ then the father is …. but i cant type that shit. mama is nuts but i guess it shows how important mike was to people. i was more upset about mcnair dying, rip.

    • Superstar Extraordinaire

      Hey dog, no lie, I was more upset about McNair. I do like MJ’s music but all the accusations & shit. I’m just more of a sports fan I guess. RIP Steve McNair

  • capcobra

    if jay z can be hova then why can’t mike be jesus??….he’s been used abused and falsely accused…he lived to unite people…and the haters rocked him…jesus walked on water..mike moonwalked..jesus transformed that fish n bread to feed people..mike transformed himself to feed people…jesus didn’t have kids and neither did mike…they both the son of GOD..and so is nas..so maybe mike is jesus…or at least heyseuss…to her….smh….TELL THAT DUMB BITCH TO RAP DANCE OR STFU.

    • http://tonygrands.blogpoy.com Tony Grand$

      ^^^^^^^
      Roffle Mayo. Good shit, cobra.

  • http://illprintdiaries.blogspot.com Mike Game

    You know Lil Mama is actually like 45, shes the Andy Milonakis of this rap shit. But this is why old ass haters have something to say bout the younger crowd, because they continually go out of their way to say stupid shit. But im really tired of people and MJ right now. Honestly, the only time I heard bout MJ was in discussions on rather or not he was rollin down the street smokin indo sippin on jesus juice, laid back with an 8 year old. And honestly, I love Michael, but most people only fucks with Off The Wall or Thriller. The Michael that influenced these new niggas is 80s Michael, no one tried to copy shit from Invincible!

    Mike aint no Jesus. And how can Michael be the 2nd Jesus, if 2 Pac was the 2nd jesus for the last 12 years?

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    i had a feeling u was gon go in on her ass. i saw dat video on worldstar & kept scrolling (looking for some ass).

    & as capcobra said above me: “TELL THAT DUMB BITCH TO RAP DANCE OR STFU.”

  • Gloveson

    I turn on a swaggings with timing piece from chocolate face diamond blood………

    Ron that shit had me laughin out loud, but seriously talkin bout Mike touchin people on camera, really!!……..come on, what kind of dumb bitch says that…….IF THERE’S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, DON’T POINT IT OUT!!
    go back to singin to your boyfriend in front of embarrassed people

  • $ykotic

    “TELL THAT DUMB BITCH TO RAP DANCE OR STFU.”

  • THE TRUTH

    You hatin ass internet gangstas dont know shit. Michael Jackson had the spirit of Christ in him, he had that Christlike compassion. Lil mama know what she talkin bout.

    “he’s been used abused and falsely accused…he lived to unite people…and the haters rockedhim…jesus walked on water..mike moonwalked..jesus transformed that fish n bread to feed people..mike transformed himself to feed people…jesus didn’t have kids and neither did mike…they both the son of GOD..and so is nas”

    funny. yall let nas call himself god’s son, didnt he say he went to hell for snuffin jesus?
    smh

  • RonTucker

    “But, Jesus titty-fucking Christ, Lil’ Mama. Seriously?! This ‘bout some blasphemous shit right ‘chea.”

    Jesus titty-fucking Christ? Not a Christian, but if I was I would consider that statement much more blasphemous than anything Lil Mama said in your quote. Maybe its just me….*shrugs*

  • KF UK

    Hilarious.

    Nice Borat ref there.

    Honestly tho anyone who says M.J “touched people” that many times is gna authomatically be seen as making a joke, even if they were DEADLY serious.

  • Brooklyn

    Mike and Jesus did have a lot in common though, when you really look at it. Both of their fathers were named Joseph, White folks liked Jesus for a minute, then he said he was their messiah and they vilified him, spit on him, threw dirt on his name and eventually killed him. White folks loved Mike more than they did Jesus at one point, and then he allegedly fondled some white boy and they turned on him like they did Jesus, spit on him, vilified him, threw dirt on his name and eventually killed him too (according to LaToya). Then, after they killed Jesus everybody hopped on his dick and they made a religion in which he was the centerpiece and spend the next 1,000 years murdering, raping, enslaving, and conquering in his name. Now everybody is hopping on Mike’s dick talking about how much they love him and how much he meant to them when they did nothing but clown him in life. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few years from now we don’t have Jacksonanity, a religion that believes that MJ was the son of Christ sent here to introduce the jheri curl to mankind and to teach us how to moonwalk. I bet you that 1,000 years from now, Jacksonanity will be the world’s largest religion and instead of wearing gold crosses and rosaries around their necks people will be rocking glittery gloves and Michael Jackson medallions, as he appeared during the Thriller days.

    • Gloveson

      do we hav to wait 1,000 years?

  • Brooklyn

    You know what, now that I think about it, we might not have to wait that long. One crucial difference between Jesus and Mike was that Jesus wasn’t the biggest selling artist of the 20′s A.D. and his immediate influence only stretched from Syria to Egypt during his lifetime. His disciples carried his teachings after he died but they only carried them throughout the Roman Empire. It took a lot longer for information to spread back then. Mike’s death was the biggest event so far in this century and his career was the biggest thing in the last century, so his religious domination will probably begin in like…a hundred years. We have to take into account the fact that people will at first repudiate Jacksonanity and force Jacksonites to fight to the death for Don King in HBO, Showtime, and PPV boxing matches. Only after a series of miracles happen in the Gloved One’s name will people open their eyes to the healing that can occur if you rub “Thriller” on some ailment while grabbing your crotch and whispering, “Mama-say, mama-sah, mama-coo-sah, shamone!” Then will begin the Jacksonite insurgence and all who don’t believe in Mike will be burned at the stake, beheaded, and stoned.

  • DETROIT

    HE RON,

    JOE BUDDENS SAYS THAT HE WAS GONNA “BEAT UP” INSPECTAH DECK, BUT DECK RAN AND HID! GET HIM!