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I Blame Michael Jackson…

wayne drake

The real rap music story that I wanted to discuss on independence (independents) day was the joint where they finally let it out the bag who was pulling Drake’s strings.

Did any of you humps think for a second that Drakes Cakes was going to be anything other than Lil’ Wang’s weedcarrier? Wang can’t afford to get busted for possession again while he is still under indictment in Arizona (you see how the Arizona sheriff Joe Arapaio did DMX?).

Part of the signing bonus is that Drakes Cakes gets to use LIl’ Wang’s daughter as his own personal video vixen. What meathook would send out a nine year old to be used as a prop for a song that explicitly described giving broads the business end of your manhood? Drakes Cakes made the best call by blaming it on Michael Jackson. “You see, Michael Jackson was dead and everyone was doing tributes, and well you see…”

The B.E.T. clusterfuck however wasn’t the most disappointing news about Drake. The fact that the ruse of Drake being the ONLY person to be placed on terrestrial radio without having a distributor over his head had run its course. I’m not a cynic that doesn’t like the dude’s music, sure it’s got more sugar in it than high fructose corn syrup, but that is like any pop music. Drake is the Timberlake of rap music. Too bad he doesn’t act as well as Timberlake does. I need to see less acting from Drake and more boobies. I hope they use the same chicks from his first video to reprise their role as titty mannequins for ‘Every Girl’.

You humps didn’t think that all of this publicity wasn’t being paid for? It was somehow organic? Grow the hell up. You can’t turn a wheel as cumbersome and inefficient as the music industry without some major entity putting their weight on it. Why? Because there is way more music being produced than is played on the radio formats and if you don’t want to pay for those spins your artist receives there is someone that will.

Remember that radio is just as ‘old model economy’ as the record business. It was the radio that CREATED the music industrial complex. The same way the auto industry is fueled by gasoline. Except the radio decided that only a few artists will have the chance to ascend. It’s usually solo artists where pop music is concerned. There have been boy bands that have ascended too and I hope that SlaughterHouse gets to be one of the chosen few, but I haven’t heard a track from them on the radio yet. Koch, er, E-1 Records may not have the money needed to play games with Clear Channel.

Drake has been the exact opposite with his voice being broadcast several times an hour. Drake gets what he always wanted too which is the direct connect to superstardom. Collabos with Lil’ Wayne, KanYe West and Jay-Z. He no longer has to sit in a wheelchair to get a check. No one even cares that he’s an immigrant either. This guy’s future is all but set. Somebody send in the 10yr old bride.

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