Dead Rappers Get Better Promotion…

jigger

What has Michael Jackson’s death taught you? It should be that the music industry is reliant now upon the deaths of icons to sell its backstock of CD’s and other merch. This is fine too since I can think of a plethora of aging rockers that could all remove their carbon footprints from the planet whilst also creating a boon to the flagging music business model.

Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Paul McCartney, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Robert Plant, Eric Clapton, etc. All of these artists have ridiculous catalogs and rabid fans worldwide that would buy their shit again if re-packaged into some kind of collector’s box set. The real way to come up though would be if you were Mick Jagger and you faked your death. Couldn’t you see Mick Jagger retiring to some Brazilian hideaway where sexy slim D-cup shemales fed him grapes all day? That is real rockstar shit my friends.

Who in the rap game has the catalog to retire on and still has enough of a following to make faking his demise profitable. The only dude is Jigga. Plus, who likes going to island resorts more than Jay-Z? I think 50 Cent has taken one vacation in all the years he has been rapping. You never see Eminem on vacation. Jay-Z is that anomaly who goes off on holiday and retires from rap simultaneously. Some people rap to go out on tour. Jay-Z raps to put points in his 401K.

I remember there was a latino dude that rapped like Jay-Z a few years back. I forget dude’s name and really I didn’t even bother to learn it because it was obvious he was smitten with Jay-Z so much that he would never get a break in the business. Now what if we pulled that dude away from his FedEx gig and told him to make some songs in the Jay-Z voice like that dude made all those songs using the 2Pac voice. Jay-Z could be holed up in Tobago with his roommate Larry Johnson and still caking off new albums that were supposedly recorded before his demise.

None of us here are that delusional to think that 2Pac recorded 5+ albums worth of material in 6 weeks? We all know that some dude that rapped with 2Pac’s voice was used to keep that dude’s legacy popping while 2Pac vacations in Cuba. Jay-Z could do the same thing. There is now way a Jay-Z album is going platinum under its own power. When I say platinum I am referring to 1999 platinum status(1M units) as opposed to 2009 plat(300K units). This is my best idea evar. Jay-Z can finally retire like he’s always talked about and he will become the best selling rap artist of all time.

This is at least until Eminem fakes his death and has Asher Roth rapping for him posthumously.

  • PURPLE HULK

    1ST

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Pierzy!

      • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

        Remember that dude that Paris made a song called “45″ that everyone thought was a CRT from The Black Album? He was another one that could a Jay-Z album.

        Or Aries Spears…

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Aries Spears could single-handedly do an LL Cool J & Jigga collaboration.

          Best of Both (big-lipped) Worlds.

        • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

          Yeah, he could be sitting on a goldmine.

          Meanwhile, I need to make a correction – dude that made that “45″ song wasn’t Paris, it was Angelous. Couldn’t let that slide…

          Fake Pierzy, where you at?

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Damn, now that I think about it, Aries has been M.I.A. for a good minute now.

          If Tracy Morgan still gets work, Aries should be able to also.

        • http://governmentnames.blogspot.com Al Shipley

          “45″ wasn’t Paris OR Angelous, it was NOE, the rapper from Baltimore who sounds like Jay and is signed with Byrd Gang now.

  • DetroitDraper

    Great post.

  • BIGNAT

    i wrote a long ass comment where the fuck is it this is some bullshit

  • DetroitDraper

    I say B.G or obviously Nasir

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Good shit, DP.

    I did a similar blog a few weeks back called “Dead Rappers = Dead Presidents”

    But I put a spin on it. Not so much how the artists themselves would benefit from such Machivellian behavior, but how these parasites capitalize off of their dead artist to exploit their net worth. Fat Joe is a great example of this.

    Think about it, for every dead artist, @ least a few folks pockets explode, which is always insinuated with Pac & Biggie.

    Its kind of like finding a winning lotto ticket. Your flagship performer kicks the bucket @ the height of their career; smells like doe to me.

  • El Tico Loco

    If Jay Z grew facial hair he could fake his dissapearance.

    • DetroitDraper

      Come on now we all know mice only grow wiskers…smarten up Nas lol

  • $ykotic

    Nice DP. Nice.

    Jay & 50. The only 2. Everyone else keeps the slave chain on.

    Well we can throw Timbaland in there.

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    “Some people rap to go out on tour. Jay-Z raps to put points in his 401K.”

    So thats why Jay-Z been putting out garbage-ness! LOL

  • KCC

    If Andre 3000 died tonight, by tomorrow morning he would be considered a G.O.A.T. and with the Outkast catalog LaFace would make a whole lot of money.

  • Dallas Penn

    KCC,
    I think Andre 3K’s fake demise wouldn’t net the same outporing of grief as a Jay-Z would. 3K would have more like a Big Pun eulogy. How he was too young and so much music to give people (and dandy clothing designs)

  • daz_oc

    I think that loser’s name you are referring to was Sacario……wasnt he in some angie martinez vid?

  • Master Cheef

    Dallas,
    Think of all the joints em and dre got locked in the vault. Think of all the mixtapes lil wayne and fifty cent have dropped. When tupac was here, mixtape scene wasn’t the same. Think of all the unrealesed music wayne and 50 would have if they didn’t put it out on a mixtape.

    You really don’t think it’s possible after all the time he spent in the studio (years, not six weeks), he didn’t have enought CRTs for the TIs to put together some albums.

    You can tell cause they got worse as they went on. The very latter ones weren’t good, but the first two, r u still down and until the end of time, had some banging shit on it.

    Nigga had tracks in the can just like dre and em. That’s the reason some artists got so much material, they all studied tupac’s work ethic.

  • Dallas Penn

    Master Cheef,
    I don’t doubt that 2Pac had some music in the can before he got merc’ked but even with a retarded work ethic you still have to leave the studio and go out and actually LIVE LIFE.

    If you only seeing the same four walls for months then you ain’t got no other perspective to bring to your music. I go to studio sessions now with artists and I see them put in some serious time and consideration to pen their songs.

    Shit takes time too.. They have to write their shit down and then go into the booth and lay it down. Even if 2Pac was going at it 24hrs a day there still has to be a producer or engineer with him as well. 2Pac’s posthumous catalog isn’t all from the rapper we know as 2Pac. Some of that shit is another dude. Trust.

  • Master Cheef

    Dallas,
    I can dig what you’re saying. On the other hand, I wonder if you’ve watched all the 2Pac dvd’s. There’s video footage of him cussing out all the outlaws, telling them to come in, do their freestyle in the booth, the producers and engineers can come in later and mix that shit. He went on a whole tirade about not waisting time waiting for other shit. He said you know how you’re gone do the flow, get in there and lay it down. A lot of those subpar verses were just freestyles that the producers put to a beat later.

    Everyone that knew him said he was in the studio everyday. If he put in 8 hours a day, but goes everyday, that leaves time to get a lot of work done, but live life at the same time.

    Your theory is not that far-fetched either, though. Shady really let me down by digitally making his voice say g-unit. I thought Em would keep it pure. If he’ll do that, no telling how low others will go. It would also attest to the last ones being the worst because they used all the authentic tupac verses for the fist post-humous albums.

    So much mystery, guess we’ll never know. That ‘each one, teach one’ thing is gold. That was a tight drop. Not quite sure Jay knows that many valuable life lessons to teach the youngsters. The dirty way he did it, is not something to preach about. Peace, I’m out.

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    B.I.G = guerilla black, shyne

    tupac = crazy, or da’ cat on that new obie joint

    jay-z= noah or whatever his name is wit’ dipset or insert either clipse member _____

    eminem= asher roth (ugh)

    Nas= fake blood butterfly bi-polar boy.

    if you hadn’t noticed the rap industry don’t like nuttin new and creative jus repackage the same bullshit and give it a new name and it’s all to the good.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I once faked my death in an incident in San Pedro, CA. There was supposed to be $91 million of coke on board this ship on a pier. Me and a few associates burst onto the scene, shot a lot of muthafuckas, but one by one, my homies were getting shot. Someone sniped at me and though it only brazed my ear, I feigned like I took it in the dome, fell forward, held my breath and gave the death stare. None other than Kaiser Sose himself walked up, and when he was convinced that I was dead, he left.
    I caught up with him a week later in the 40/40 Club in Vegas and shivved him with my fountain pen while he was pissing himself in disbelief that I was still alive.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • macdatruest

    Dont listen to shit Master Cheef say, he relate everything in life to G-Unit. Nigga bought 401 G-Unit dildos as his 401k. Still tryna open accounts at Lloyd Banks. Nigga still be ‘in da club’ doin the Yayo seizure dance

  • Master Cheef
    • chillin mayne

      jajajajajajaaa..yo chill son, chill, das macdatruest forreals??..jajajajaj, dat link is a riot cheef how da hell u found macdatruest on youtube like dat??..jaaaaa

  • chillin mayne

    jaaaaaaaaa…had to say it, yall gotta hear macdatruest, jajajajaja…mac, how u gwan do da to yoself, delete dem videos homie…