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But I thought 50 Cent had given up rap!

My least favorite 50 Cent is the one who’s actually convinced he’s a genius. You know the one. He goes on the radio and in interviews, dropping words like “content” and “finances,” when you’d much rather hear him talk about banging broads and taunting Rawse.

It’s not enough that he’s got $400 million or whatever. He has to think he’s the equivalent of a Wharton MBA, when the truth of the matter is he’s just a bum-ass mixtape rapper who came along at the right time. He once had an album that sold 9 million copies, but so did Nelly. And now his career is in decline, because people have had the time to realize they don’t really like his music.

Keep in mind, I like Fiddy, as much shit as I’ve given him over the years. It’s just, I wish he’d stick to things he excels at, like beefing with people. I was listening to the radio the other day, and all he could talk about was how good a rapper he is. Seriously?

Fiddy’s got yet another new mixtape out, and you have to wonder why he’s even bothering. I’m not saying he should give up rap altogether, if that’s what he wants to do (though it wouldn’t hurt my feelings). I’m just saying. I thought mixtapes were for people who couldn’t put out a real album if they wanted to. It’s not like people need to be reminded who 50 Cent is. He’s arguably the most famous rapper in the world.

I downloaded one of the newer Fiddy Cent mixtapes either earlier this year, or last year. Who knows. And it was just dreadful. It was one of the ones where he was trying to get back to “aggressive content,” after the likes of “Ayo Technology,” and so all of the songs were about how he’s about to shoot someone. Oh, really? I only made it through about half of the first three songs before I had to send it to the recycle bin.

People seem to actually like this newest tape he’s got out, where he’s rapping over ’90s R&B songs, but I’m assuming that’s just a matter of people realizing how much they like ’90s R&B. It’s like how people were so in love with those Clipse mixtapes, where they were rapping over songs that were already hits, and then they had to pretend as if they liked their last album. I remember XXL actually gave it a perfect rating, but then the editor in chief turned around and dissed it on the Internets. Hmm…

Alas, Fiddy can’t just put out a real album of himself rapping over Boyz II Men, or whatever he’s rapping over on this new mixtape. I’d have a look, but I can’t stand listening to ’90s R&B. I’d rather take a chees grater to my joint. (It’s gotta be pretty weathered at this point anyway, right?) I’m sure Fiddy Cent could foot the bill for such an album, but he’d never make any money back. And that’s what this is really about, right?

I’m not buying for a minute that the reason Fiddy stays putting out new mixtapes is because he’s just that devoted to hip-hop. Nah, he’s convinced that the reason his albums once sold so well is because he really is a good rapper, and if he could just rap well enough, he could be that popular again. When the truth of the matter is that the success early on in his career was an anomaly. A huge anomaly, but an anomaly none the less. Those first two Fiddy albums shouldn’t have sold any better than Curtis, if that well.

Like Jay-Z’s unkempt afro, this new, dedicated Fiddy is just plain not a good look. I’d much rather see Fiddy own up to the fact that he’s been way more successful than he should have been. Then he could use that as a basis to mock people. He’s got the most money – why should he give a rat’s ass whether or not he’s a good rapper? If I were to somehow become rich by accident, you think I’d give a shit whether or not I earned it? I’m sure sex with a series of beautiful women would be just as sweet regardless.

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