Alfamega Presents: Snitching vs. Lying
“A lot of people don’t pay attention. They read, but they don’t understand... They hear, but they don't listen.” –Alfamega, EweToube
Of course. That must be the problem. We're not paying close enough attention. Alrighty, then...
I’m watching this nigga Alfadavit cocking his head, talkin about, “Let’s get it right right now.” I’m like, “Awwww, shit. We finna get ourselves a good old-fashioned talkin’ to!” I expect this nigga to debunk allegations of snitching *snicker*, or at least deny that he’s a snitch like every other negro entertainer in the public eye who finds his all-important street credibility under attack.
Instead we get what I should have expected in the first place—the ramblings of a simpleton caught up in the Hollywood Paradox. [name that rapper-ternt-actor] Oh, he denies being a snitch. He just uses inexplicable Alfa-logic to do so. Does Alfadavit really think suggesting that a writer confusing the type of drug in his snitching allegations absolves him of guilt? Wow. This nigga thought he could walk free in the court of public opinion on a technicality.
See, that’s the thing about the media. They be twissin’ yo’ words and shit...
“I ain’t snitched on the dude. I lied on this dude.” -Alfamega
As you can see, there’s no opportunity for evil cracker-ass media word twisting here. You’ve watched Alfadavit explain the fuckery leading up to telling on another game-involved nigga to the authorities, which—whether lying or not—is snitching. You’ve also watched him snitch on the man who got him to snitch. That doesn't sound potentially dangerous at all.
Best of all, you’ve also just watched Alfadavit admit to having perjured himself on camera. The man’s got enough missteps to climb Stone Mountain. He also looks like a gimpy Fred Sanford undergoing steroid withdrawal, but that’s neither here nor there.
I mean, we shouldn’t be really making fun of… special people like this, should we?
After viewing Alf’s explanation video, I can’t help but wonder what he expected to gain by getting on camera for 10 minutes saying the dumbest shit possible?
As you all already know, I don't condone the way T.I. has handled Alfadavit's "rap career", but at the same time, I don't know if I could carry a strange, unstable nigga like him around. Alfadavit is clearly a man with special needs and shit. This situation is what niggas get when they insist on adding non-musicians to musical ensembles.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Shouts to the homie Nygel for hittin me with the video link. firstname.lastname@example.org
I got a reality show pilot for Alfa. We can call it "Let's Make A Deal"... and...