I didn’t watch the B.E.T. awards last night because I was on some protest of their programming. The truth is that I don’t have a cable or satellite account so I can’t watch anything on my television set, except for Star Wars movies and the DVD pr0n flicks my homegirl from Twitter sent me (shouts to @Diorcat).
Television is a fucking wasteland. I get everything I want to consume via internets anyhoo so I don’t feel like I am missing anything. I certainly don’t think I would have been impressed by B.E.T.’s tribute to Michael Jackson. That shit would have needed to have Stevie Wonder, Patti LaBelle and the boss, Diana Ross on the hook. We all know that B.E.T. doesn’t have the caché (swag) to pull that shit off. This awards show is the network’s single biggest budget production. It’s cardboard behind the performers.
How are you doing to honor Michael Jackson properly without some reedonkey presentation? His brothers have to be involved, definitely Janet, but crazy ass LaToya, not so much. That is why I can’t fux with B.E.T. Shit is LaToya to MTV’s Janet. Vh-1 is Rebbie. Don’t sleep on Rebbie though, shge did have that hit ‘Centipede’. I’m glad that some of y’all enjoyed the B.E.T. awards. That way I know that we still have enough people to fill the country’s permanent underclass.
The general consensus that I gathered from Twitter is that Jay-Z has gotten his swag back by adding Drake-like hand moves to his stage presentation. That’s funny because what I have seen of Drake reminds me of how KanYe performs, but less energetic. So if Jay-Z is performing like a Drake stan then he must look like a really watered down KanYe West. I don’t know if any of you have been paying attention, but for the last few years Jay-Z has been jocking KanYe West swag from hairstyles, eyeglass frames to guest features on his albums. Someone is brodying their little brother no?
I just watched the Death Of Autotune video and I like the slick look. I like the smile that Jay-Z puts on when Harvey Keitel walks up to him. Even though D.O.A. isn’t for smiling how could you not smile when you are hanging with the ‘Bad Lieutenant’? Have you seen that film yet? Harvey Keitel plays a police so corrupt he makes Denzel Washington’s ‘Training Day’ character look like a saint. Great movie. Michael Jackson used to make these epic videos that were filled with a narrative of intrigue and spectacle. Anyone notice Lyor Cohen at the video clips intro opening the car door for Jay-Z? That should’a been you Dame Dash.
The story bubbling in the cut is how the Jackson family wanted Chris Brown to perform in the tribute but Jay-Z blocked that move. I personally don’t believe that Jay-Z has that kind of power behind the scenes on shit that doesn’t directly involve him and what the fuck does Jay-Z care about Chris Brown. I mean. lets get serious, Rihanna has been passed around so much that he can’t be in love with that thing. Meanwhile we have never seen BeYonce nekkid in the media except for that time in Elle (and I have a copy of that).
The overall truth that should have been apparent at the B.E.T. awards is that we are experiencing a dearth of talent within musical entertainment. There was a time when singers could really sing. They could act too. Singers now are more like models who are only built for still image shots. There’s cardboard behind these motherfuckers. These fools NEED autotune. R.I.P. to Michael Jackson for the rest of 2009 in my opinion. Listen to this studio track of Michael doing ‘Billie Jean’ and tell me who in the game is capable of putting it down like this? Exactly.