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To think, Max B would probably be a free man right now, if he ran with a better class of women.

I could have told him, over a year ago, that he needed to step his game up. You may recall that the only other time I’ve written about Max B, since I’ve hardly heard any songs by him, was a year or so ago, when there was that thing with his two dueling publicists. I’d go into further detail in describing the “thing,” but the post I did on it was one of those posts that somehow disappeared from this site, and now I forgot what the fuck happened.

As I recall, Max B let some woman release a statement about him that was obviously a buncha bullshit, and then someone from the label had to step in and retract. And the reason the post had to wave bye bye was because I suggested that this woman may have been a MySpace jumpoff trying to front as if she’s a publicist, and I couldn’t really prove that. I didn’t find any of Max B’s specimen in her bedroom using a black light – it just seemed obvious to me, based on her writing ability, and her MySpace page.

For what it’s worth, Max B later sided with her version of the events, even though it seemed patently untrue, and he didn’t have anything to add to make it seem any more likely. It could be that he came off more heroic in her version of the events. I think part of it was that he got robbed, possibly trying to buy a used (word?), and she said he didn’t. Or who knows? Maybe she gave him some other reason to side with her.

Speaking of which, I’ve been in the game for a good half a decade now, and I’m thinking it’s high time I got my own publicist. Ladies, hit me on my email, if you think you might be interested. I’ll even write my own press material, since I can’t have people think I’d allow anyone with a bad education to work for me. But obviously looks are gonna be a must, since you aren’t really gonna be doing anything. (If I can’t find anyone amongst this site’s readership, which wouldn’t surprise me in the least bit, perhaps I’ll consult with an actual modeling agency.)

But anyway, that was just the half of it. The other day, I was doing some half-assed research into the case in which Max B was recently found guilty, and come to find out, his penchant for hoo-ers may have been what did him in there as well.

There’s a shitty YouTube video I turned up that explains the entire thing. Basically, it’s a local news report from over there in New Jersey, but with some godawful rap music playing in the background. It was taken from one of these hood DVDs, and it hadn’t occurred to me that some of these hood DVDs were just taking found video and playing shitty rap music in the background. Again, I’m thinking I might have to get in on this. I’ve been thinking about taking some of those cam hoo-er clips from World Star and replacing the audio with The Con by Tegan and Sara anyway, for my own personal amusement, but maybe I’ll also sell copies of it from my own site.

I might lift myself from poverty just yet!

Speaking of which, the incident that got Max B sent up was a robbery gone wrong. He was trying to rob some guy in a motel of $30,000 cash. Which would seem to lend credence to the theory that Max B got robbed trying to buy a used car somewhere in Queens. This $30,000 may have been to save his home from foreclosure. Obviously, he wasn’t making very much money from his numerous silly mixtapes, if he was out risking serious time in the pokey, for $30,000. Jim Jones doesn’t get out of bed in the morning for $30,000. Well, Jim Jones probably doesn’t get out of bed in the morning period (I don’t either, unless I’m busting a day shift at the BGM), but you catch my drift.

Or maybe Max B didn’t think he was putting himself at that much of a risk. After all, he hardly had anything to do with the robbery. All he did was tell some guy there was $30,000 in a motel room. Then the guy and some hoo-er Max B was banging went and did the robbery and ended up killing somebody. And by hoo-er, I mean an actual hoo-er – not just my name for a woman because I’m not sure if she’s really qualified for her position. It sounds like she may have been the one who came up with the idea in the first place. According to the local news report, another crew was going to rob the room, and they sent in a couple of other hoo-ers to do recon, and that may have been how Max B’s girlfriend found out about it. Then she told him, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So here’s my thing: If all Max B did was hear about it, then he told some other guy about, then the other guy went and did it and fucked up and caught a body, how come Max B is the one that’s going down for it? I can see how he may have been somewhat liable for the guy’s death, similar to how OJ was found somewhat liable for his wife’s death, if it was his idea in the first place, but it wasn’t. The hoo-er was the one who got the ball rolling in the first place. And yet, she’s the one who got the sweet plea deal. She got to testify against him, in exchange for a much lesser sentence. The fuck?

How come he couldn’t have testified against her? Granted, that may have constituted snitching, but I’m not sure if it’s counts as snitching, if your co-d is a hoo-er. Personally, if I’m gonna do time for a woman, I need to know she’s willing to have sex with me without me coming out of my pocket. But you guys know I’m a bit of a misogynist.

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