First they came for Perez

When I heard the other day that one of Will.I.Am’s Louis bag handlers cold cocked Perez Hilton, of course my mind immediately went to how I could work a few good teh ghey jokes out of it. But I suppose I should have known it would eventually turn into a debate about artists attacking journalists.

People, for whatever reason, stay fascinated with the idea of artists attacking journalists. Whenever I talk to people about the important work that I do, one of the main things they want to know is whether or not an artist has tried to kick the crap out of me, or if I’m afraid they might try to.

Maybe this is a sign of the kind of people I’m around when I’m, erm, not sober, but one of the other main things people want to know is why the Source never reviewed Wu-Tang Forever. When I mention to people that I work for XXL (kinda, on a pro-bono basis), the response is usually, “Yeah, I used to read the Source, but then I quit.” Which, oddly enough is my own personal history with rap magazines. I mostly just grew out of it, intellectualy, but I notice, if you ask people if there was any particular reason why they quit reading the Source. a lot of them are convinced that there was some conspiracy to not review Wu-Tang Forever, because they’d just given Life After Death five mics, and they knew people would be pissed if they gave Wu-Tang Forever anything less than a perfect rating. Don’t believe me? Ask around the next time you’re with a group of cargo pants-clad cracka-ass crackas in their late 20s-early 30s, i.e. at a rap concert.

But I digress.

I logged on to Twitter the other day, to see what my favorite pr0n stars had for breakfast, and I saw that Toure, who stays on Twitter (and who’s a beast in the sack – no fishsticks), was siding with Perez Hilton, on the grounds that artists shouldn’t attack journalists. I don’t know if it’s because someone put a shoe on him, or because, as a grizzled veteran of hip-hop journalism, he’s heard a number of stories of that kind of thing. I suppose I could have just asked, but a) that’s not the kind of journalism I do, and b) I’m not really fucking with Twitter like that right now. I’m working a bit more than I’d like at the BGM, and my pr0n viewing has suffered. A man’s gotta have priorities. So, I didn’t bother following the artists attacking journalists debate any further.

I hadn’t thought of Perez getting cold cocked in terms of an artist attacking a journalist, probably for a couple of reasons.

1) I don’t really think of myself as being in the same line of work as Perez Hilton, even though I guess we do more or less the same thing. Perez takes pictures of celebrities and draws gism dribbling out of their mouths. I take stories about rap music and flesh them out with offensive jokes and tales of my paynas. I’d like to think that there’s a lot more thought and talent that goes into what I do, but who am I kidding?

2) Getting beat up by the Black Eyed Peas, or any artist, for that matter, just isn’t anything that’s on my mind on a regular basis. I’m always having to be reminded that it’s even an issue, when people ask me if Bun B is coming to my house. When, of course, the truth of the matter is that no one is coming to my house, unless I spring for an in-call.

Out here in flyover country, we don’t have to deal with celebrities one way or another. From the time I was born until the time I was about 25, the closest I ever came to meeting a celebrity was meeting a guy who once met Lisa Loeb. Then there was that time I met ?uestlove from the Roots; and that’s really about it. If I lived in a city with a lot of (nonfailure) rappers, I’m sure I would have to worry more about getting attacked, not because I do anything that would warrant someone kicking the crap out of me, but because the hip-hop community is filled with ignorant motherfuckers, and, you know, the law of averages.

But so would anyone else. Think about it: I read rap magazines from the time I was about 12 to the time I was about 19, and I hardly read anything I would have had a problem showing my grandma. (Then I graduated to the Internets.) And yet, I’ve heard plenty of stories of writers having a shoe put on them, or at least having that threatened. The problem is not that hip-hop journalism is not respectful enough of rappers. Fuck these rappers. It’s that so many people in our community are the product of an unfortunate upbringing, and they can’t think of any better way to solve a conflict. As a hip-hop journalist, being attacked is just a fact of life you might have to deal with – like having poo flung at you, if you were a prison guard. Word to Rick Ross.

Of course, I wouldn’t censor myself for the sake of one of these fevered egos, even if I had to, but I realize I’m fortunate that hasn’t really been an issue for me.

  • Pierzy

    So this begs the question: What are you going to do when Lupe throws a sissy-handed, limp-wristed punch in your direction?

    • Detroit P

      Lupe supposedly has Blackbelts(plural) in kung fu…his father supposedly was a kung fu master(with a dojo and everything)…so I wouldn’t be so quick to brush him off..especially if I was Bol….have you seen the infamous Byron Crawford interview…my asthma flares up by just watching him try to breathe, let alone watching him struggle to string a sentence together

      • EReal

        Yo Bol, you funny and all, but if there was a video of you getting duffed in your fuckin mouth by Bun B on world star, Id have that shit on repeat for days.

      • KThundo

        hahahahhaa…this nigga said Kung Fu

  • ri067953

    Yo, Bol…you don’t have to worry about getting a foot up your ass because you don’t put yourself in a position to have it done. That fairy Perez Hiltion insist on being a celebrity based on talking shit about celebrities so it was bound to happen at one of the events he attends with said celebrites. Word to Dee Barnes!

    • VHINGRHAMESONYOMOMMA

      IN DRE VOICE”HELL-YEAH”

      • Enlightened

        Ha! Damn, Dre do got the most famous “Hell Yeah” ever don’t he

    • latino heat

      co-sign rio. the fact that that fruit is famous at all irritates the fuck out of me. he’s a nobody! he should get stomped out on the regular then he would go back to whatever gloryhole he came from and never be seen again.

      • http://www.datpiff.com/Dont_Panic_Entertainment_Max_Profit_Smokers_Para.m51405.html Max Profit

        I agree – it’s great that Perez got punched out! It seems that most Bloggers act like journalist but they are really just some no-talent haters. What ever happend to being impartial or objective. I like Miss Info no hate on her page just good commentary.

  • Detroit P

    Well you are basically the Perez of Hip Hop…didn’t DJ Vlad get beat up by Rick Ross for his..umm “journalism”…if they’re going after the likes of him, I’m sure you’re number one on their hitlist…I know if I ever saw you on the street I’d probly just throw something at you…just to say that i did…but whaddaya gonna do, we can’t all be as civilized and law abiding as you and Perez

    • geico lizard

      co-sign. Bol living like a hermit pays off when it comes to avoiding rappers he has criticized or their crazy crew members trying prove their loyalty. Only going from home to work and back may mess up his chances of meeting a girl but thats what the internet is for.

      *logs on craigslist missed connections*

    • geico lizard

      I dont co-sign the throwing something at Bol part but you are right about Dj Vlad he did snitch on rick ross and he is suing him. DJ Vlad posted that wshh snitching story to make us forget about his Snitchy Mcrat ways. Some of these guys are acting gayer than the Nebraska mens wrestling team.

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    ^^^co-sign to the fullest.

    & by the looks of that pic up top, it looks like u would fuck somebody up.

  • dfarewell

    As a hip-hop journalist, being attacked is just a fact of life you might have to deal with – like having poo flung at you, if you were a prison guard. Word to Rick Ross.

    ^^^I’m reading this shit at my desk at work and i just bustout laughing. when im in here bored as hell this dude Bol keeps me dying!! Ron Mex same way! yall keep doing your thing!!

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Fuck that. Anybody’s game these days. You come out of hand with that foulness and I’m a freshen you up, homeboy. Perez Hilton could get backhanded. Will.I.Am could get pistol-whipped. Fergie could get kicked in the dick. I’ll snap Lupe’s skateboard and then break his glasses. I’m cold like that…
    There’s a line that you can’t cross. Some people stay well within their boundaries and other fucks are all about stepping on your shit. I could give a fuck about Perez Hilton, I want to crunch knuckles in Sohh Gyant’s face and cave in Miss Sophia’s rib cage. These types of people deserve to get snuffed. They propagate lies; they have gender indentification issues. Hit them. Hard.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • Detroit P

      LOL…every line is a quotable

    • dronkmunk

      “Fergie could get kicked in the dick. I’ll snap Lupe’s skateboard and then break his glasses.”

      *Boards Metro DC Train*

      • $ykotic

        That was cold, man.

      • Brass Tacks

        LMAO! 1 HUNNED

    • Curtis75Black

      Tell ‘Em Why You Mad Herbz !!

  • Bobo D

    1) Perez Hilton is as close to being a journalists as I am to having sex with Motoko Kusanagi.
    2) The only person you gotta worry about showing up to your house is that E-stan of yours with a Byron Crawford vodoo doll in hand.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    The reason Perez stays catching bricks is because he’s gay. Gay people get treated like Black folks did about 25 years ago, meaning “we accept you, but that doesn’t mean we respect you”.

    He has his “gay pride” on volume 10, as if the country passed a vote for them to marry each other or some shit, so he feels he can do/say what he wants. No Dice.

    That Harvey Levin dude from TMZ doesn’t get slapped around, because he’s not gay AND he’s quick to tell his soldiers to leave Suge & Ice T the fuck alone. Staying in his place, per se.

    The world ain’t ready for some flamboyant loudmouth to just go around lambasting society, much less celebrities. Until Ms. Hilton learns that, he’ll forever be a target.

    • Pierzy

      What up Grand$…unfortunately I agree with you. And it’s a shame. Just like we (well, those of us with a brain) look back on segregation and question how that could ever happen, generations behind us will think the same thing in this case. It’s the sad truth.

  • Joey Montana

    “As a hip-hop journalist, being attacked is just a fact of life you might have to deal with – like having poo flung at you, if you were a prison guard. Word to Rick Ross.”

    Lmao

    Bol ur killin em

  • giantstepp

    Ok, so it wasnt will.i.am kicking ass?? cause kicking ass and will.i.am just doesnt seem to fit. even if the ass is perez hilton’s…no homo!

  • vhingrhamesonyomomma

    I think rappers are lame enough wit’ having to resort to beatin up quasi-relevant bloggers with past sexual issues,eatin disorders,low self-esteem,acoholism symptons and a pair of wal-mart glasses. well all except Lupe of course. no shots tho! Bol for president!

  • $ykotic

    @ Herbz

    You’re crazy man!

    You know you’re a target Bol. You’ve been named dropped a plenty. But you’ll be OK.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      I’m sure that Bun B, Ashley Logan, and Lupe would want to lay hands on Bol, not to mention a few bloggers and an ousted XXL EIC. But, I’d only bet against Bol with Bun B. He’d lose that one. Ashley could only front for so long that she’s mad at a black dude, and then she’d end up fucking him to get more shout-outs on his blog. Elliot wouldn’t come out from hiding behind his wife’s back and that’s that.

      What’s beef?

      –OG Matt Herbz–

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        @ Herbz

        Idk mayne.

        Lonely, overweight black dudes with no self-esteem & a superiority complex = not much to lose.

        Bun got houses, cars, notoriety.

        Bol has us.

        Might be a good fight though, until Bol’s asthma kicks in or he starts getting hungry.

        • Around and Around

          1. Perez hilton is not a journalist. Don’t give that douche any credibility.

          2. Herbz and anyone else who thinks someone can/cannot fight based on what they look like doesn’t know the fisticuff game.

  • $ykotic

    “Elliot wouldn’t come out from hiding behind his wife’s back and that’s that.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • Master Cheef

    Dont make fun of trick trick. Word to Ron Mexico.

  • latino heat

    Trick Trick ran up on Ron Mexico? what did i miss?

    • Bobo D

      No disrespect but where the hell have you been. The only thing which I can say is you better start going through the negro please archives. I think the incident happened near the end of last year if thats any help.

    • Bobo D

      I was bored so I thought I would do the leg work (erm the keyboard work) for ya.

      http://www.ronmexicocity.com/2008/10/xxlmagcom-a-trick-trick-to-eminems-treat-treat.html
      ^^^^
      After this blog trick trick said some shit on radio about getting at Ron, and Ron apologised the only way he can:

      http://www.ronmexicocity.com/2008/11/xxlmagcom-ron-mexicos-letter-to-trick-trick.html

      • Detroit P

        regarding this situation, I think Ron kinda came off like a bitch..I mean if you’re gonna ridicule and insult people all day anonymously…atleast have the balls to stand behind your words instead of throwing up this weak defense of “I was just playin…I didn’t really mean it like that….can’t you take a joke” type shit…If Ron’s gonna talk shit then he needs to be ready to be held accountable for his words and be on some “Yea I said it and I meant it…you need to do better” type shit….

        ….as if joking absolves you of any blame or accountability, alot of prejudice, racist, sexist etc. originates from people who were “just joking”

      • latino heat

        good looking out Bobo D. i remember the 1st blog but not that 2nd one. the links from Ron’s website to the XXL blogs were expired though.
        did anybody else check that So Cold In The D video link on that 2nd blog? that shit is WACK, but got a million and a half views though. WTF?!

  • Brass Tacks

    Nice post Bol, the last part was especially thought provoking, considering the usual b.s. posts about ur gonyads…

  • prince

    didnt the black eye peas beat down fake police that were trying to punk them on ashton kutcher show, and it never got aired?
    this was back in like 06, i think. google it.

    black eye peas are some closet thugs.