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Did Will.I.Am beat up Perez Hilton?

I was all set to give Will.I.Am props for committing a hate crime against Perez Hilton, but come to find out, he almost certainly didn’t.

I saw the headline on the Vlad TV blog that says that Perez says that Will.I.Am attacked him, and it seemed likely to me for the following reasons:

1) I’m a little bit racist like that. When I hear a rapper beat someone up, my natural tendency is to believe it’s true, even if it’s someone from the Black Eyed Peas.

2) I know the Black Eyed Peas used to be on Ruthless, and I’ve long suspected that this wasn’t just because Eazy-E had more eclectic tastes in music than you’d think.

3) Will.I.Am went on Real Time with Bill Maher during the election and attempted to defend religion (as most guests on Real Time are forced to, at some point or another) on the basis that he was raised by his religious grandma. So, we know he’s not working with the most sophisticated thought process.

Then I read the series of tweets (nullus), on the Vlad TV blog, and I began to question the validity of Perez’ claim. The first dead giveaway is the fact that he took to Twitter, talking about how Will.I.Am and his goons roughed him up and how he was bleeding, rather than just call the police. As if someone who just so happened to be reading his Twitter in the wee hours of Monday morning was supposed to call the police for him.

And then, from what I understand, a shedload of people did end up calling the police. Perez probably has as many followers as Diddy, or Ashton Kutcher or somebody. And you know these fruits – they probably thought someone was trying to pull a Matthew Shepard on ol’ Perez. Will.I.Am better be glad this shit took place in Toronto, and not LA, or else the teh ghey mafia would have shown up and busted a cap in his ass before he had a chance to get a word in edgewise.

Later, Perez says he did call the police, and that people should stop calling them, but it’s only after he said he spoke to his lawyer. Then he urged people to stop calling the police for him, and said he wouldn’t be discussing the matter any further. Hmm…

It sounded to me like Perez might have been pissed at Will.I.Am, for whatever reason, and tried to make it sound like Will.I.Am attacked him. Then he had to go into damage control mode, once he realized people were actually taking him seriously.

Directly below the series of tweets from Perez is a series of updates from Will.I.Am’s shiny new Twitter. He only joined the service just now, to conduct a little damage control of his own. The fourth tweet, after ensuring Saigon whore Tila Tequila (whom you might remember from one of the very few non-black, if not non-ethnic covers of King – I was actually in that issue) that he wasn’t guilty of hate crime, is a link to a video in which Will.I.Am explains what really happened.

He says that him and the Black Eyed Peas were in Canada for some awards show. They went to an after party, and Fergie approached Perez, with whom she has beef, perhaps for posting those pictures of her pissing her pants while trying to perform high on meth. Perez wasn’t having any of that, and started going right back at Fergie. You know teh ghey guys will start arguing with a woman as if they were a woman themselves. I can only imagine the hilarity that would have ensued if that particular exchange erupted in fisticuffs.

Later, at another after party, Will.I.Am took Perez to task for getting all up in Fergie’s face with the disrespect. To which Perez responded by calling Will.I.Am a faggot. Then someone other than Will.I.Am must have slapped Perez and caused his gums to bleed, because he’s got some sort of VD. Will.I.Am makes it sound as if it was one of his fans, who saw Perez call him a fag, and decided to take matters into his own hands. I can only hope one of my own fans would have done the same thing.

TMZ, meanwhile, maintains that Perez is claiming that Will.I.Am is the one who laid the smack down, but it isn’t clear to me if Perez told them that, or if they’re just going off of his tweets. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the latter. Perez probably knows better that to stick his foot in his mouth any further at this point. It sounds like Will.I.Am didn’t do shit to him, and Perez might have been to trying to frame him for a hate crime. In fact, it makes you wonder how many of these so-called hate crimes are really just teh ghey guys trying to bait people.

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