Best I Ever Handicapped…

drakes

I have sucked ass at picking the ponies anytime I visited the track. The main reason I go though is to rock this Ralph Lauren seersucker suit and bowtie that I have. Chicks love dandy motherfuckers. Why else does Bentley Fonzworth get to sidle up next to Zoe Kravitz? It can’t be because of the album he has coming out next Nevuary. Plus, the horseraces are hell’a rigged. The horses are given all kinds of drugs to make them act some kind of way and then we gather in the grandstand to wish a winner on our ticket.

I feel like I could pick the winners and losers in cRap music way easier than I could the ponies and rap music is just as rigged as the horseraces. Why some artists have multiple songs spinning throughout the day on terrestrial radio stations while other more accomplished, vastly more talented artists never are heard on these same stations is part of the cheat. Consider Clear Channel to be the steroids that turns a colt into a thoroughbred. And just like in horseracing, when a pony breaks its ankle and can no longer race it is brought into the barn and shot in the head.

Just don’t ask me to explain why Rick Ro$$ is still making albums.

If 2009 has been anything of a revelation it has been the year that the old men in rap music re-emerged. I think this is great for the culture. The older artists become a bridge for the younger talent to emulate and surpass artistically. I wish that artists were financially compensated for their contributions and their influence but that has nothing to do with art. Commercial viability is what gives up the money. The artists that create memes that can distract the sheep and render us mentally and emotionall impoverished are typically the ones that end up the richest.

We’ll worry about those people on a later drop. Today we will rejoice in some of the older horses that are still in the race…

DOOM – ‘Born Like This’
My favorite album of 2009 so far. Bugged the fuck out rhymes and space age boom bap apocalyptic beats.

Eminem – ‘Relapse’
I don’t have to tell anyone that this album is sick. Although it isn’t his most groundbreaking work Eminem still shows he has the gift for rhyming and being provacative. This album and his career suffers some loss in points for Em agreeing to be teabagged as a movie stunt. Would Rakim, Biggie, NaS, Jay-Z or even Ice Cube have co-signed that stunt? Eminem is dropped from top5 consideration for that.

Method Man & Redman – ‘Blackout 2′
The greatest rap duo in the game right now picks up from where they left off. Blunted rhymes and banging beats. ‘Blackout 2′ is one of the two most slept on albums released this year.

Mos Def – ‘The Ecstatic’
This album is critically acclaimed and tragically slept on by the so-called rap fans. Mos Def is consistently the best ambassador we have had for Hip-Hop culture. I’m not buying two copies of this album but I copping one from Amazon.

Jadakiss – ‘The Last Kiss’
I didn’t listen to this album in its entirety because I almost drowned from the watered down R-n-B tracks. I’m glad that Jada has been doing more traditional rap music remixes. Def Jam made him switch up his underground steez in order to appeal to a younger audience and Jada was able to comply without sacrificing too much of his classic content. I just wasn’t able to connect to this album. I’m glad he is still on the scene though.

Cam’Ron – ‘Crime Pays’
Cam’s album was another joint that I just couldn’t relate to. I admit that I am still stuck in the DipSet era Cam standom. These dudes were one trillion when they rapped together and bupkus as solo projects. Free Max B. Bring Stack Bundles back from the dead. Unkidnap the Heatmakers. Do something!

For the second half of the year I am looking at these horses to run away with the roses…

Jay-Z – ‘Blueprint 3′
Leading the oldman rap resurgence is none another than the Jiggaman. He’s been dropping singles once every four months. The last two, ‘Brooklyn Go Hard’ and ‘D.O.A.’ have been lauded by the internets. Rap’s foremost critic and greatest blogger alive Eskay says that Jay-Z is back. Eskay = E.F. Hutton. When he talks, everybody listens.

Black Thought – ‘(Title Unknown)’
The best emcee alive will launch a solo project this autumn. If I were you I would make sure that the rewind button on my tape deck is working properly.

Raekwon – ‘Only Built 4 Cuban Links 2′
We have waited too long for this record. The expectations that are bubbling inside of us will be unfair to judging this album on 2009 merits. Still and all it is good to see the chef still hungry for the crown.

SlaughterHouse – ‘Slaughterhouse’
I can’t call these dudes old man rappers since they are all between the ages of 34 and 29 but they all have over 10 years in the rap game individually so that makes them veterans. This has been the Hip-Hop album with the greatest buzz on the internets. There are rappers who might be more popular than SlaughterHouse but I don’t consider those artists to be Hip-Hop. They are more like Hip-Pop. SlaughterHouse is that boom-bap from way back when you held your headphones together with scotch tape. SlaughterHouse is that cassette tape in the outside pocket of your Jansport backpack. SlaughterHouse is when you used your allowance to buy a bootleg tape, a nickle bag and a Garcia y Vega. SlaughterHouse is that…

Winner.

  • 57Live

    lol @ that pic.hate the drake

  • DV8

    checking in from the West Coast

    DJ Quik & Kurupt’s “BlaQKout”

    (yeah I know No Idea’s Original, but still give it a listen)

    • DV8

      oh yeah and enough with the Drake pics already

      • http://www.myspace.com/Lyrik07 L-Y, NawfWestSide

        Naw fuc that, keep em’ comin’ sun, that wheelchair joint iz hilarious.

    • latino heat

      @ DV8
      good looking out for the info about the Quik/Kurupt album. i didn’t know this was out till i read your comment. i’m listening to it now and the shit is hot. Kurupt has lost a step, but i would listen to somebody reading the dictionary if it was over DJ Quik beats.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I hope you’re right…

    …Funny you mention the flashback with Slaughterhouse. I’m expecting the same feeling the first time I bump OB4CL2. No shit, it’s gonna take me back…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • Cashkidd

    “Would Rakim, Biggie, NaS, Jay-Z or even Ice Cube have co-signed that stunt? Eminem is dropped from top5 consideration for that.”

    lmao I agree whole heartedly i just dont get why he would do that he does not need that kind of attention.

    And damn Drake looks fucked up lmao

  • DazzOne

    Yo, man! That picture is mad WRONG, Ron! LMAO!!

  • DazzOne

    My bad, I meant to say “Penn” instead of “Ron”. It’s just that every time I see Drake I’m prepared for a “Negro Please” moment.

  • X

    Can’t wait for that Slaughterhouse album. What I’ve heard from them so far is much better than most artists coming out today.

  • HNIC

    Rick Ross is still in the game, because, he knows how to pick the right beats & who’s track to jump on, &/or how to pick the right artists to have on his tracks to assist him. Or he might just have the smartest A&R staff/Management team that does it for him, allowing him to simply show up. At any rate, he’s winning commercially because of it.

  • BIGNAT

    dp you gotta listen to that crime pays it’s good. if you won’t stay for the rapping how about the skits. you know cam make some funny ass skits. the grease one had me dying. a black thought solo album i can’t wait i wanna hear it now.

  • latino heat

    i hope Black Thought actually drops his album this time. remember Masterpiece Theater was supposed to drop around ’01-’02.
    i know about the rest of Slaughterhouse’s history, but how does Joell Ortiz have over 10 years in the game? i never heard of dude till around late ’06 or early ’07. no disrespect to dude, i’m just saying.

  • avenger xl

    That wheel chair pick of dude is funny LOL

  • John Galt

    DOOM was fantastic, I completely agree. The stuff with Borat was dumb, but Eminem’s CD is a welcome effort after an awful album in Encore.

    I pray Raekwon is good. The problem is that it’s simply hard to fathom that it could live up to the expectations that have built over time. How long have we been waiting for this, three years? Four? I plan to pick up Red & Meth, I’ve liked what I’ve heard. And of course, Slaughterhouse is a must.

    • http://www.myspace.com/Lyrik07 L-Y, NawfWestSide

      Yea, that Red & Meth iz nice, bruh. I’ve been bumpin’ it for a min. now. The only thing i dis-like bout them dudez is that with all the KnowLedge they have between them, they don’t share the wealth on neither of their albumz Blackout albums. They got mad ra-ra shyt, and we appreciate and luv that, b.u.t. throw in some of that God KnowLedge too, sun. I’m from Screwston, Texas mayne, and we be fiendin’ for that KnowLedge too, don’t let the radio coons fool you, ya’LL otta know by now, that the powerz that be keep us in the dark when it comes to whutz really good in the hoods across the wildnerness of North America. That new Bust wuz garbage juice. I buy albumz off the shelf, and that wuz definitely some pesos i could’ve left in the wallet. Eminem’s joint wuz nice. And if u ain’t coppin’ that SlaughterHouse joint when it drop, then u ain’t really bout this Hip-Hip shyt, give up the ghost. P.E.A.C.E.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Whadup DP

    Definitely waiting for Black Thought, Rae & Slaughterhouse.

    Black Thought could easily surprise attack with an all-star line up of producers. Song concepts & lyrics are automatic; it’s not very often that the production has to keep up with the flow.

    Rae, from what I’ve heard he’s about to release the hounds on this industry. It’ll be a welcomed experience, hopefully.

    SH. What can I say that Dallas Penn hasn’t said already. No need for redundancy.

    Still haven’t heard Cam, no need for a late pass, though. I never planned on hearing it to begin with.

    DOOM’s album is that off-the-wall hip hop that you just don’t hear anymore. That dude could’ve called it “Quotables”.

    Jay-Z……..I’ll see what it do when it’s released. Not quite sure how I feel about him nowadays.

    Marshall is Marshall. A better publicity stunt though, would’ve been some way out shit. Go hard or go home. He should created a hoax that he OD’d before the awards show. That would’ve been ill.

    BO!2. My favorite album of the year so far. Can I get a co-sign on that?

    • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

      CO MOFO SIGN! That album is all that in rotation right now LOL

  • Dallas Penn

    Joell Ortiz used to be called Quikman back in the OG Rawkus days. A hungry post-High schooler trying to get in the game.

    Peep the freestyle…
    http://dontsweatit.wordpress.com/2008/08/04/quikman-joell-ortiz-hot-97-99-stretch-armstrong-freestyle/

    • latino heat

      good looking out for the history lesson DP. i never knew Joell had been in the game for so long.

  • chillin mayne

    beautiful post DP..i was feelin the vibe of it, yo i dont think theres anything i love more than hearin a new album, or hearin a sixk ass album again…that fugees stay on my ipod, all jay-z, nas…i been keepin up wit da new releases to, and i have to disagree wit all yall that say hova or nas fell off…dey jus doin sumtin diffrint, i love every moment of it…kingdom come was strait, blueprint 2 is bangin, i jus vibe to the music, lyrics, let the artist do diffrint things, its all good!!….tony that blackout album IS fire! DP, that jadakiss is r&bd out, but i enjoy dat album..HIP HOPPPPPPPPPPPP….LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO…ima definitly cop all those albums waitin to b released

  • Azhar

    09 been a good year for hip hop so far….

    Def Co-sign:
    1.Mos Def Might Mos is back Ecstatic is
    incredible
    2.BlackOut 2 Banger from beginning to end
    3.Jadakiss started off fire w/ Pain & Torture
    all down hill from there + he did a callabo
    with OJ Da Juiceman (boooo)
    4.Relapse not phenomenal but good shit typical
    Em
    5.Crime Pays sounds dated to me, like shit
    been in da can and he threw it out there,
    next cd should be better
    6.Jay-Z shit will be fire, but people wil
    either luv it or hate it
    7.BlackThought long time comin, but will be
    worth the wait
    8.Cuban Link 2 see #7
    9.Slaughterhouse sounds promising, hope these
    niggas live up to the hype, just their cd
    coming out will be a victory considering all
    their individual label problems

  • http://www.myspace.com/Lyrik07 L-Y, NawfWestSide

    Say mayne, i jes copped Mos’s Ecstatic yesterday, and bumped it at the J, from front to bac, over and over again. Sidenote: when i buy albums i usually give them at least a couple of listens almost all the way thru, to give them each a fair chance. B.U.T. Mos’s new album is by far, the Best album i have had the pleasure of purchasing this year. From front to bac, Barz buddy, Beatz my nigg, Substance G etc. etc. If ya’LL muhfuccerz ain’t got that Mos, head to ur local cd slanger and cop an official one off the shelf. And the last song on the cd “movez” a nigga something serious, like the drums that were used in Ancient Black Civilizationz, to let the tribez of Original People know its time to move and the message wuz clear. P.e.a.c.e. to Mighty Mos all the way from the Dirty South. We appreciate the Big Boi subliminal too – “Feeling Good, Feeling Great, How R u?” tyte ryte my G, one-hunned – Lyrik, nucca.

  • Jame

    Dallas – thank you for recognizing Black Thought. I love Jay, Mos, Rae, etc. but Thought is forever slept on in write ups like this. Top five- hands down. Maybe top two.

    Good shit bro.

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Out of all of those albums you mentioned up top, I copped three of them so far: Born Like This, The Estatic, and BlackOut2. DOOM and Meth/Red’s album go hard but I’m still tryna warm up to Mos Def’s new opus. I only given it a listen all the way thru once so I’ma give it another try. Haven’t heard Jada’s album yet nor Cam’s, and I heard Em’s but only the bootleg of his album; I plan on buying it sometime when my pockets get right.

    Can’t wait for the OBFCL2 album though, as well as Slaughterhouse! I didn’t even know Black Thought was coming out with a solo album. Not really checking for Jay-Z’s album though I’m sorry to say…

  • Jhon da Analyst

    I’m not a hater, I’m just sayin’……..Someone tell Drake to “roll” his ass up outta this game and go back to acting!

  • THELUPEND

    I LAUGHED SO MUCH WHEN I SAW THE PICTURE AND THE TITLE!!
    http://www.youtube.com/THELUPEND